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RHP

RHP User

M41

A Cartographer's Tale

June 02 2013

profiles

Note: A name has been omitted to protect the guilty. Well, no, it's been omitted to get this post through on the second attempt.***Did you know, historically, some mapmakers used to sprinkle their maps with fake suburbs, towns and roads? Nothing of any consequence that might draw attention to the errors, or lead anyone astray, mind - just little details. Enough that, should they ever find themselves in a situation where they suspected a rival of purloining their plans, swindling their schematics or what have you, they could point to the recklessly reproduced ruse and faithfully whip out le ol' 'J'accuse!' I only mention this little curiosity because I was reminded of it when somebody directed my attention to a charming sounding lad down Melbourne way, who sashays under the sobriquet *REDACTED*. Now as I read through this chap's profile, I've gotta be honest here - I thought I was falling in love. Never before had I found someone who 'got me' quite like this guy got me. What were the chances somebody could have such similar interests and share such snobbish disinterests? Could I have found, in this universe, a kindred soul who shared my exact kinks, my exact desires, my idiosyncratic writing style? I was about to step up my lobbying efforts for gay marriage, because I thought I'd found The One (actually, no, if he really was another version of me he probably wouldn't be in to all that institutionalised blah. But I digress.) He was perfect. And yet... And yet I couldn't help but shake that niggling doubt. Like a splinter it lodged itself in my mind and began to fester. The corruption spread out, tendrils of black doubt seeping and probing, curling and stretching, filling my mind until I could stand it no longer. I had to know. Was there a way to determine if indeed we were kindred spirits, or if instead something more sinister was afoot? It was then I remembered this mapmakers trick, this cartographer's clue. I remembered that once, long ago, as I penned my meticulously personalised profile, I had laid just such a trap to catch out the unscrupulous and the unwary. If you cast your eyes upon my profile (yep, cheap plug,) in the list of Likes' you'll learn there thrice lays a line - an affinity, a weakness, a lustfulness for 'knee high boots' (I mean, DAYMN!) However, in those three lines there lays a tiny deception - a mistake if you will - that could prove the true nature of this other profile. It was an error so unlikely, so small, so insignificant, that the casual reader might not notice it. However, its presence or absence would scream the truth louder than any oration could ever hope to reach. Its design was not mere accident - it was deliberate. It was written with intent (just roll with me here.) Should this wayward hyphen be included in *REDACTED* of Melbourne's profile, I'd know it was not mere happenstance, it was not mere fate, it was not a grand cosmic alignment - it was plagiarism most foul (and totally flattering and annoying): You'll notice the second 'knee-high' has a hyphen - a punctuating construct completely absent from the other two. With trepidation I searched for the hyphen on his profile, to see if the villain had been ensnared. Sure enough, a few pixels connected in a line sat nestled between the second 'knee-high'. The profiles were identical. 'J'ACCUSE!' I yell, for all and sundry to hear, 'J'ACCUSE!' Fucker stole my profile. Neptune Drift Accept no substitutes.Post-script:The young lady sleuth who brought this duplication to my attention was kind enough to share with me a true sample of this rogue's writing. It seems he had sent her a message, and the juxtaposition between the message and his (my) profile tipped her off that something was not quite right. Can YOU notice any stylistic difference? This is the message he sent her:"hi huni ill get rite to the point I dont wanna mess u around ...im self employed with 2 companies..and was wondering.... do u want a great descrete lick out and fuck? I realy need the sweet taste of pussy and I lick good and for hours ????? Iv got a nice cock and im good looking sorry about the straight forwardness I just don't like to mess around and say what I relay mean"Post-post-script:Soon after I became aware of the situation the powers-that-be at RHP were notified, and they swiftly and heroically dealt with the impostor.

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Sorry, you'll just have to imagine some pretty paragraph spacing. I cut and pasted it from Word where I'd written the draft, but they got lost in transition.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I was trawling through the profiles of contemporaneous women and found a 71 year old who looked just like a fellow forumite. As a guest I am not able to message her but the photo did indeed resemble her greatly...she by the way, is only 40 and we have met in real life...I think you may know of whom I speak Drift.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    sincerest form of flattery

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It would only take one message to realise you had been duped by this guy!- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I was too lazy to come up with something inspired myself. I liked this one on the BrainyQuote website: "If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research." The quote was attributed to a Wilson Mizner. Now, when scrolling down the page I came across the same quote again. This time by a fellow named John Burke. 'Nuff said.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'AuntieEdna' I was trawling through the profiles of contemporaneous women and found a 71 year old who looked just like a fellow forumite. The lady with "Honest" as the very first word on her profile? Yeah, right. I was surprised at the number of 80+ ladies on here, only to be disappointed when their profiles suggested they were actually young girls.     p.s. I do hope you didn't think that was me.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Jesus you talk a lot ND!!! :p

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The p.s. bit was meant to be tiny and inconspicuous.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    such atrocious grammar and spelling....I instantly knew it couldn't possibly be you.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I noticed some comments where certain males were referred to as "fools" and "dickheads". Now my "Dicks" comment was made on purpose, and tongue-in-cheek. I take full responsibilty for being offensive. The other comments were made in response to bad behaviour however, and serious. My point is that we use derogatory names so easily, without actually being aware we're doing it.   I don't want this to become the norm.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'AuntieEdna' I was trawling through the profiles of contemporaneous women and found a 71 year old who looked just like a fellow forumite. As a guest I am not able to message her but the photo did indeed resemble her greatly...she by the way, is only 40 and we have met in real life...I think you may know of whom I speak Drift. Please excuse my lack of understanding... Are you saying the profile is using a real picture and a fake age... a real age with a fake picture or are you not sure? I was 100 last week and a fellow forumite was 80 (I think it was) just before she deleted her profile in the last week or two. Have you ever wondered why we can change that part of our profile... I sure have. >>> As confused as ever...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It's just appropriate Ms_D.... Since I think it was me that used the word dickhead today. It simply isn't used enough. Lol. ;-)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    A standard trick in espionage circles is the insertion of mistakes or slight changes in grammar in various copies of important documents. When they leak the variations will give up the double agent.I sometimes use Google image search to check profile photos when suspicious. Seems we have a few body builders and porn stars that have relocated here from various parts of the world. And who wouldn't want to migrate here after reading a few profiles penned by our enigmatic OP!Have to get to work now rewriting a profile worth plagiarising...Mr C

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  • inspirit

    inspirit

    12 years ago

    I am really sorry. I really am a man and I think you are hot. Just wanted to be like you..Just a wittle.

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  • inspirit

    inspirit

    12 years ago

    I use the terms dickhead, fukwit, dumbarse... Should here me when I am face to face.

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  • wingman2014

    wingman2014

    12 years ago

    I was just about to copy your profile too- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'chickcara' I sometimes use Google image search to check profile photos when suspicious. Seems we have a few body builders and porn stars that have relocated here from various parts of the world. I have done a reverse search several times myself. A profile which I suspected wasn't real used the same pic as a club that advertises on here. I've even come across Tom Selleck in the past, and a friend of mine encountered Anderson Cooper. (Guys, if you're using a fake pic to hit on women, at least pick someone who's not gay, sheesh). I do like exposing frauds.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'AuntieEdna'such atrocious grammar and spelling....I instantly knew it couldn't possibly be you. Now I really want to know, but I can't even message you.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Pretty please. :p

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Ms_Devious' I noticed some comments where certain males were referred to as "fools" and "dickheads". (...)        This post was meant to go on the Eddie McGuire forum.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Twice I was informed by different friends that someone was using my picture. The first time it was indeed me. (Well spotted, since the photo only showed my fingers and nipple, and though being from the same series was not the same one). The second time I was sent a picture that a friend had come across on Tumblr. Even I had to look at it for a good 30 seconds before being sure it wasn't me. The body draped in fairy lights looked just like mine. The breasts were identical. The lighting was the same. Now that was spooky. I was actually worried for a while that people would think I plagiarised that one. And here I was thinking I was so original.

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  • Lifes_great

    Lifes_great

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'chickcara'A standard trick in espionage circles is the insertion of mistakes or slight changes in grammar in various copies of important documents. When they leak the variations will give up the double agent. I sometimes use Google image search to check profile photos when suspicious. Seems we have a few body builders and porn stars that have relocated here from various parts of the world. And who wouldn't want to migrate here after reading a few profiles penned by our enigmatic OP! Have to get to work now rewriting a profile worth plagiarising... Mr CIt's not really my toilet roll

    reply

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