F56
A True FWB
May 11 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hi Leeleigh. For me, yes of course you form an attachment with people. Some you love and some you care about as friends. Jealousy stems from people either wanting more than what they have with their FWB or simple possessiveness. Being possessives most likely doesn't have a place in these types of relationships. My thoughts.
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RHP User
9 years ago
We both laid it out at the beginning it was purely sex with the occasional sleep over and dinner.2 years it worked well, then when i went on holiday with another person and was un-contactable she looked for another playmate out of jealousy, when i found out i was actually a little hurt as i'd only been gone for a couple of weeks. We both decided that it would be better if we didn't see each other anymore due to developing feelings she lasted 3 days i was close to breaking and here we are today 5 years later and engaged and never happier. For us now a FWB whether it's male or female needs to have their own life and not want to be a major part of ours, we know regardless of the situation feelings develop it's human nature.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I had a long term FWB for over 2 years a year ago.It was wonderful and we would text each other when we felt the need and wold meet up.We were both married so we were just giving each other what we both desired.We both still would have sex with our partners occasionally and I know that she had a couple of quickies with a guy she met online.It did not really worry me as we both made it very clear at the outset that it was to be strictly no strings.It was good to be able to meet someone regularly and really get to know what they really loved and what really got them off.We had some great times until she moved away.I am now on the lookout of another woman that is also after a long term affair.
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Livingandloving2
9 years ago
In my view are simply that- friends you share a physical relationship as well. Emotionally I am committed to Mr LAL. I don't think it's being desensitised... Probably depends on what you entered the fwb relationship for. We have very clear guidelines about our meets . Mrs LAL - Posted from rhpmobile
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max_harlow
9 years ago
FWB is possible short term, but things start getting messy after more than a few weeks. For me the whole idea of FWB is someone you enjoy spending time with, but also have great no strings sex without resorting to unfulfilling (usually drunken) one night stands.. After a month or two of good company and good sex, feelings are bound to develop.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm sure there is such a huge variation. I consider myself as having had 3 FWB's, which were all over 6 months, and current one is well over 12 months - though we didn't see each other for a couple of months. 2 of them - there has been no jealousy as all, as I love(d) hearing about their other dalliances, it's all very thrilling. These 2 I never imagine myself being anything other than FWB with, so can enjoy the eroticism other their lives without the pang. But the other one did cut more to the bone. So that was more to do with my differing feelings, rather than the label of FWB. Feelings don't always fit in the nice bounded box we design for them. I think it's natural, and normal and wonderfully human to feel :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
yes and yes - but i didn't do anything about it .
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RHP User
9 years ago
And yes it was a struggle at first because I had very strong feelings for him but he had made it very clear, in many different ways, that he was very much a loner so I decided it was worth the struggle. Over time it became much easier to just enjoy the moment. I had decided before I met him that I preferred to be single so that decision probably helped also.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Great topic because for me it was a rollercoaster of emotions or a process I had to work through earlier doing this. I'd guess it took at least 6 months to start to become comfortable with just having sex and walking away. At the time quite a few became ongoing, but that aside, regardless of whether it was a repeat or new guy, it took a while to become comfortable with it. I haven't yet been doing this for 2 years, was married before that and not in this world, so can't comment on that time period. However have had partners who I've seen for a year to a year and a half, feel very close and share perhaps a glass of wine, details of our lives, text in between. Friends and sex, but that's all. I don't allow feeling to develop beyond that, not a problem at all for me. (did have a slip once but not with an age gap) I'm now completely at ease with being intimate, enjoying sex and that intimacy, without requiring anything else, so long as they are 'there in the moment' with me, warm and passionate, they can walk away, I can walk away, 100% happy. And that's the honest truth. I prefer it that way, it works for me now. But it wasn't something that I found easy earlier on. I'd get to a point where I thought I was good with it, then doubt that, then I'd be fine again, up and down. So i think people new to this shouldn't worry if it takes them a while to arrive in that place. The age difference for me though, helps a whole lot. Some of these guys I could potentially fall for if I was their age, but I'm not, with age gaps of between 15 and 30 years which is vast, so it's easy. I don't let myself go there because I know it's not an option. Jealousy also isn't an issue, ever, for me. I have other partners, and I would expect they do too, absolutely fine for me, wouldn't want it any other way. I'm a sharing kind of person, turns me on
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't label connections with partners, fwb or fb, makes no difference, to me they're only terms used on here, so i hope my comment is accepted in the true spirit of the topic or considered on topic, I guess I mean
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'CucknShells' You can't control your emotions but you can control your actions. Our emotions exist as part of primordial existence...like, lust or love are part of the triad which are in part inexorable. I personally could not exist in an antiseptic environment where friends and/or love were exclusive. The heart is not exclusive and if we feel that ''twinge'' then more the better for each of us.
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sweetgem
9 years ago
No, I have not had a FWB for any longer than a year. Yes, I have had my jealousy moments in the early days of my wandering into the sexual wildness. I think I had those moments because of 1) my upbringing; 2) I have always had exclusive relationships before my previous life needed. Therefore, when I was reborn from the ashes of my previous life and started wandering into the sexual wildness, I was inexperienced and couldn't separate my feelings from my emotions, nor did I know that FWB was not boyfriend and that he was not exclusive to me, etc. and vice versa. Hence, I went through a brief period of getting jealous when my former FWBs talked about their other funny businesses with other women 😛 Thank heaven that I am a quick learner and so I set myself the rules of not just seeing one man at a time, nor would I remain FWB with the same man for too long. After all, I am only a human and I love the idea of monogamy. Therefore, to save my feelings from getting hurt, I choose not to see the same man for too long. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
That I've sent 'love you' messages to because guess what, I do 😘 They are wonderful friends and we don't always have sex when we meet but boy is it fun when it does happen! Ive been friends for nearly two years with some! I have struggled to have sex without emotions but it does happen especially in a swingers setting! I'm sure I might scare some of my friends when I say I do 'develop feelings' on some level but I'll judge how they feel and determine how far I might 'open up' about those feelings! I'm not jealous of them having other people at all, I have on occasions introduced friends to other friends! I also don't expect them to 'share' details of their encounters with others, that is their intimate times! I'm more than happy to drive them wild with my own ideas about some sexy escapades we can experience together 🤗 Mary xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Leeleigh - purely from a guy's point of view (I hope this helps)......................... If one person has developed more emotional feelings for the other, it has over-stepped the boundaries of the FWB relationship. What makes the FWB is the freedom and friendship that is involved. Especially the long term FWB's, it is fucking your best friend! The connection between the FWB's is a journey of sexual adventure and freedom. It should be exciting to the other FWB that they are going to have another experience, even more erotic if the FWB is invited to join, and they should find it talk about it afterwards. Jealousy, possessiveness and deceit are not welcome in a FWB relationship. The moment any of these creep in the FWB relationship will never be the same. Setting the boundaries at the very beginning, open communication every step of the way, respect for each other, kinkiness and amazing sexual escapades together are the ingredients of a FWB that you will always look back and smile about.
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Mr_MrsAraps
9 years ago
Emotions and jealousy is a funny thing and still early days for us both. Mrs and I can have great sex with others but sometimes an emotional trigger can be something very minor and totally unexpected. Eg I can have sex with someone else and have an orgasm with that other person but something happens which is totally non sexual or minor in the scheme of things and not something you think of straight away sets off feelings. I know for us, having a personal connection is just as important as sexual chemistry so of course there is more emotions at play than for someone who is more detached and just wants straight sex with little else. For me I would class myself as having a bit higher level of compersion than Mrs A so that varying level of compersion v feelings of jealousy is sometimes harder to navigate. Communication. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'WarpedFun321' Leeleigh - purely from a guy's point of view (I hope this helps)......................... If one person has developed more emotional feelings for the other, it has over-stepped the boundaries of the FWB relationship. What makes the FWB is the freedom and friendship that is involved. Especially the long term FWB's, it is fucking your best friend! The connection between the FWB's is a journey of sexual adventure and freedom. It should be exciting to the other FWB that they are going to have another experience, even more erotic if the FWB is invited to join, and they should find it talk about it afterwards. Jealousy, possessiveness and deceit are not welcome in a FWB relationship. The moment any of these creep in the FWB relationship will never be the same. Setting the boundaries at the very beginning, open communication every step of the way, respect for each other, kinkiness and amazing sexual escapades together are the ingredients of a FWB that you will always look back and smile about. Well said. All of this I agree with
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RHP User
9 years ago
You know what you want before you begin. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agree Miss Rose, perhaps there is always going to be one that just gets to close. Miss Shells, I shall definitely read that, thanks. Miss IV, Im the same as you, I've certainly done nothing about it ☺ Miss Softglove, as with you, the fact I have chosen to live my life single, I realise I can't have it all. I-touch, I appreciate uour answer but I def think theres a huge difference between fb and fwb ☺ Warpedfun. In an idealistic world, laying down rules and sticking to them is wonderful in theory... Just to clarify. ..I have had a fwb for 4 years and probably loved him for most of that time, which Ill add, he is well aware of. He shares everything about his life with me because we trust each other implicitly. I, on the other hand am more guarded simply because thats how I am. He is well aware of the fact I never want to be in a conventional relationship i.e share a house or my life completely but our standing joke is he always says "if I asked you to marry me you would" The majority of the time Im more than happy for him if he has another fb etc but theres the odd time you hear a different tone if he talks about someone or a bit more of a twinkle in his eye that just causes a twinge of jealousy. I suppose its just the nature of the beast?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
How many times did that post?? lol Sorry everyone 😨😨😨 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
FWBs become friends, FBs are just for sex. My opinion. Root and go. The FWBs Ive had are still friends and I have developed feelings for them all in a "friends" capacity. To say you don't get feelings for people you meet regularly, socialise with and have sex with......I find that ridiculous. Unless you are cold and have no empathy. The longest one for me was a year and a half. I always left it up to them to get in touch and they always did. Again, why the labels? If Im seeing someone, I just say he is a friend?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think labels are important. We all use labels to clarify our roles and positions not only here but in every day life. If your seeking a partner is it not easier and more precise to use a label such as fb or fwb so you know where you all stand? I have friends and I have fwbs, totally different things so therefore different "lables" - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Something about sex that offends you?
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RHP User
9 years ago
The simple thing is that they would like to have benifit (money-sex..) without relationship because they are in relationship currently. And of course, it should be disgreet.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sorry, I meant sexual labelling. But again, thats just me personally. If Im seeing a bi guy or a straight guy, he is a guy to me regardless of his orientation. Its the person that counts. And thats why I prefer to have FWB, I like my lovers to be friends. But I hate the term, and FB too, its someone you are close to and sharing your body with. they deserve to be....just who they are? xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yawn. What was that? More judgements and narrow minded views did you say skip ??
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RHP User
9 years ago
I absolutely agree with you on the sexual labelling; A guy or woman is just that, regardless of orientation. To me a fb is totally different to a fwb thats why I use those labels ☺ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hell no, I love sex as much as anyone. Its guys who use women as cum buckets that offend me. Thats why I stay clear of them. You are welcome to them, fill your boots!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I know exactly where you are coming from. But just wanted to say that not all men that like root n' boot encounters are disrespectful. Often it can be a mutual meeting of minds and needs and it is suits what both parties need. But I have come across the guys that use women and are disrespectful - those encounters are very unsafisfying and don't make you feel good. Try and avoid those men!! But sometimes they disguise themselves well. 😝
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PurePeony
8 years ago
... my last FWB and the more men I meet, the more I appreciate what we shared. We were FWB's for four years. Right from the start, we were clear with each other that it was only going to be a FWB relationship. We spent lots of time together travelling around Victoria and NSW. We did lots of fun stuff outside the bedroom, attended lots of events and got to meet each other's friends. I even got to meet his family on several occasions and for someone who is alone without family in Australia, it was sensational! :-) I liked how he didn't just treat me like a FB, but more like a friend. We were exclusive FWB's because we just never saw the need to fuck around as we met each other's needs well. He is a commitmentphobic and I am a passive commitmentphobic; we both loved our freedom and independence and we never encroached on each other but we enjoyed what was freely given. It was very symbiotic, very comfortable. It was the best non-relationship relationship. I think I started to get disgruntled when he started to be dismissive and would wave his hands at me whenever he disagreed with something I said. I told him in no uncertain terms that I abhorred that but he didn't take me seriously. He also started to lose interest in sex and would literally just lie back and think of England and I'd have to "help (myself)" to his big, thick cock. Ooh, yes... He was well endowed, my word! But ok, I digress. So it became always and only the Cowgirl. And when he completely lost interest in sex, I became celibate for a year or more until I decided enough was enough and found myself a boyfriend. He was aware of my unhappiness because I am good with communication and am very frank, but he sorta took it for granted that I wouldn't take action. He actually said, "Maybe you should date other men" which I finally did. When I broke the news to him, tears welled up in his eyes and he choked as he said he was happy for me and any man would be very lucky to have me. Unfortunately, that bf was full of crap, very clingy and insecure, and it ended almost a year later. My ex FWB is a tough act to replace, as I have discovered. Most men are flighty and flibbertijibbets these days. Totally restless, going from woman to woman and never staying long enough to enjoy a real friendship with anyone and seemingly resistant to forming any emotional attachments at all. For all the macho-ness, the fear of forming friendships and relationships isn't very attractive to me. If it happens, it happens. I hate to be placed in a rigid box with a label that states, "Met her on a sex site. Just a FB and nothing more." Henceforth, no matter how much chemistry you have between you, no matter how deep a connection you share, because you have been labelled and they are running scared, you will forever be kept at arm's length. There's nothing alluring about that at all. It's a very rigid and closed mindset not open to any possibility of a good friendship or a "mutually beneficial alliance" that permeates a solid FWB with irresistible fragrance. It's locking up one's heart in a chastity belt of sorts, an iron cage that forever keeps you at arm's length. We all get hurt in relationships. But even the pet tortoise, who retreats into his shell at your approach initially because of what he perceives to be a threat/danger, eventually sticks his head and limbs out as he learns that you are tender, loving and you often offer nice, crunchy treats! Tentatively at first, and then with a more involved "all-in!" courage as the trust builds and a relationship forms. An FWB who is running scared all the time, unwilling to share, resistant to opening up, limits the time he spends with you by keeping a harem on the side, ghosting you, being evasive with his replies, etc... Nothing attractive about that. I'd have more chances of building a relationship based on trust with the little pet tortoise! :-P
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PurePeony
8 years ago
I jabber on! LOL! I have never been jealous in all my ex FWB or ex bf relationships because those men have never given me cause to be jealous in the first place. If a man is honest, frank and lays his card on the table, and we have built trust in our relationship, then I never feel jealous even if they are out for dinner with an ex or with a female friend. HOWEVER, I have come across men who are secretive, evasive, never forthcoming and open, and those characteristics are the perfect catalyst that wakes up the jealousy dragon and stokes the fire in its belly! LOL! Cause and effect! Elementary, my dear Watson! ;-) Some people do tend to have a higher inclination towards jealousy, of course but that's for another discussion. The fonder I am of a FWB, the higher the tendency to be jealous. And if that fondness factor is multiplied by him being very reserved, secretive, mysterious and evasive, then that is the perfect formula for an atomic bomb! LOL!!! :-P Conversely, I've had FWB's that I'm not terribly attracted to and really, I couldn't care less and jealousy? Nah... Absolutely no way jealousy of even the mildest degree could be triggered. It is all about the man. Women are equipped with a 6th sense and unless we are operating on an irrational and insecure frequency, if the jealousy alarm is triggered, there's almost always a reason for it. :-D
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RHP User
8 years ago
I find the whole abbreviated terms like FWB and FB can box a person in with pre existing expectations or boundaries. Everyone seems to have their own take on what these terms mean to them personally. Each person has their own limits as to what they wish to know about their friends other partners or sexual encounters. I personally find it thrilling to share stories with my friends about our other encounters as there's an opportunity to support each other. That in itself can improve the friendship and raise trust levels. My friendships vary so widely that I try to just accept them for who they are and what they want with me. I enjoy their company so I prefer to accept it for what it is rather than expecting more than what is right now. Quoting CucknShells You can't control your emotions, but you can control your actions. This is very true, for me at least. Of course, if you spend enough time around someone who fills a need, shares common desires or gives you needed attention, then you're going to care about them more and more. It wouldn't be friendship otherwise. For me, the 'let go, let it be and acceptance' mindset works well. But each to their own. MM. - Posted from rhpmobile
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