F49
A little Soft Spot
April 30 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi Superfox I had a 6 yr on again off again very tumultuous relationship. It finally ended badly. What I took from that experience was that if it isn't working then leave it alone and move on. Each situation is different and you may have very good reasons for going back. My motto is NEXT! Good luck SFxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
To this very day, I have contact with my long-term high-school sweetheart and if the opportunity ever came...no don't think I could and not even with my daughters father (who I spent 1/2 my life with) - nope never could, even tho we have sorted out our issues and moved on....I had a conversation the other day with a good male friend who did go back and it was not healthy and then they split. They had children.I also have a G/F and the opportunity did came up recenlty and she choose not to go back...at first she wanted to but then she pulled out at the last minute.Then another G/F who was on and off again for over 10yrs!! Hopefully this time it's for good.IMOE, Personally going back, it's not ever going to be like it was the first time. That's just me and every one is different, however I believe we all have soft spots for past special lovers.It's an interesting topic to hear what others have to say.FOXY
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
Most of the time the ex is an ex for a very good reason. Time has a funny way of bending perspective so things don't seem as bad as they were at the time until you go back and then its ....yep, why the hell did I go back.Move forward I say.
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flimac
12 years ago
Big soft spot for the man in question and he almost had me convinced, till he reminded me that he is a cheating lying chauvinistic pig, now if only I could find his current girlfriend and tell her what he's up to!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
married for 18 years divorced for 10 back together for a year but we were flat mates again for a while before we deciced to be together but this time the rules of engagment are different he can have lovers if he wants to,but he does not want to I can have lovers and I do but i dont rub itin his face I am very happy with it, he is a very decent man who I love and he me I also trust and respect him more than any person I know, that has never changed from the day we first met. sometimes in life if we build a bridge, it works out well but even when we went through divorce and lived apart for may years we always were a family because we wanted our daughters to have that strong family bond My body I am happy to share but never my heart it belongs to him
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subgal_gc
12 years ago
There is one guy that holds a place in my heart and likely always will, but would I go back to him (or take him back) then the answer now is no. If you had asked me five yrs ago the answer would have been very different but looking back now I see a side of him that I didn't want to acknowledge at the time. No he was never violent, or abusive in any way...but when he had the chance to stand up and support me, when I really needed him to, he couldn't do it. SO while part of my heart will always be his I couldn't go back. Moving forward is the only way to go I think, even thou I am klutzy and occasionally stumble backwards
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RHP User
12 years ago
never look back...ever. whats done, is done.
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RHP User
12 years ago
you reminded me of a dear friend and lover who died about fifteen years ago...and yes if only.
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RHP User
12 years ago
when I was 23. A wild affair ensued. We went our separate ways as our lives took different paths. We eventually lost contact. After several years, our paths crossed again. Sparks flew. We lost contact again. When our paths crossed for the third time I was engaged to be married and chose to go back to my fiancé. After the marriage ended 8 years later, he somehow knew and we found each other for the fourth time. I've never felt chemistry like that with anyone else. But, we are separate people and may or may not see each other again. I guess fate will decide. Que sera sera.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Now this is a timely topic as a few mates & I were discussing this just last weekend over let’s say a few too many glasses of red wine. Now I had a high school sweetheart who I went out with from 14 till 19 and then on and off for a couple of years after that, she happened to tell one of my mates that she would have me if she could and she knew I would have had her. Fact is I never really think about her at all and as I grew up I started to see her in a different light and was glad to not end up with her. Then there was my ex-wife and the mother to my two kids who I spent many years with , and to say she was the love of my life but it ended and now we are as good a friends as I think might be possible but would I go back NO I don’t think I would, would I give her a kidney if she needed one Yes but go back NUP. Well for me it wasn’t her I had the SOFT SPOT for it was a young girl that I went out with for a very brief time when I was 24 she is the one girl I wish I treated better , not that I was horrible or mean it was just she liked me more at the time. I was a young man who was keen to travel and see the world and she was just about to finish Uni and I didn’t want to hang around…. If I could find her I would love to have a chat see how she is and I hope she is well. As for my mates we all had 1 that we wondered about and it was never the obvious one that we all thought it might have been You can tell we were well pissed to be talking such shit Kind Regards WOW
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RHP User
12 years ago
....when I met Mr IAT. We were only 'supposed' to be casual sex over summer - if you'd have told me then that we'd be married with two boys and living on the other side of the planet 19 years later, I'd have fallen off my chair in hysterics.So the truth of it is that for me, I've only ever loved one man. He is and has always been my soft spot! (discounting of course all the wobbly soft spots that insist on hanging around my arse and thighs ) Who knows what the future holds but if I think about it and we separated - would I go back? I couldn't think of a reason not to. But it's all a bit pie in the sky for me
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RHP User
12 years ago
Never have and never wanted to, even though I don't actually dislike any of my three long-term exes.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I had when I was 20/21. Never gave it a proper go of it then thus breaking up. Would like the idea of trying to see what will happen now we are older but too far gone time wise. So short answer, no. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Nevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, agaaaaaain !!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have one ex I would..we were together in my early 20s,moved in together, and it was serious rather quickly, he was younger than me, and after a couple of years and pressure from his single mates, he thought he was missing out on something. Ended up running off with a girl i knew from school-and breaking my heart ( and his mother's who loved me lol), they got engaged then he got home from work one day to find all her things gone, and most of the furniture, with a scribbled explanation note! I could have warned him about her.....he is now married, I ran into him at a nightclub about 4 years ago, after not seeing him for 18 years, and the sparks flew straight away. we had a quiet drink and he confessed his marriage was awful, his wife a ball breaker (his words) but he was committed to sticking it out for the kids. He also said leaving me got him nowhere and one of his lifes regrets. I think if we ran into each other again, and he was single, we might chat.....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Things happen for a reason. Most of us mature and learn from our mistakes, so if you were single and this person came back into your life and you were confident that the mistakes that caused the failure of the original relationship had been learnt from, then why not? Why close off any avenue in life?...having said that.....lol12 years ago I came back into contact with someone who I'd had a brief boyfriend/girlfriend relationship at school. To cut a long story short, we hooked up and 18 months later emigrated to Australia.The relationship then fell apart within 12 months.....but I met the gorgeous person who I am now with married to and have been with for the past 8 years, which would not have happened otherwise.So technically, it was the wrong thing to do originally as that relationship failed. However, if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here now and with the person i am meant to be with. :)So was it right or was it wrong to go back in the first place? I'm more than happy with the choices I took :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I would fck just about every single one of my ex's.. Relationship?? No way!! The relationships failed anyway... because I either played up, OR I was unable to commit to a relationship.. Invariably.. it was BOTH reasons... but, not every single one oft them actually FOUND out I was playing up. *grins* SOME of them would have some awesome issues they may decide to VENT on me whilst in the acts... AND believe me.. I DO love a girl to have hate issues when they fck!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think everyones different on this, I've always been pretty black and white, noting that an ex is an ex and so on...However, there are people that have been in my life - on in particular - who falls in grey matter and I would consider.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Stays in the past. As mentioned most ex's are an ex for a reason. I have stayed friends with an ex after my divorce and I use that term loosely we were more FWB's at the time but nether the less we are still friends but with out the benefits now. As for a soft spot ohhhhhhh yeah there is one special lady that will always have a place in my heart no matter what, something my EX could not understand or come to terms with for the whole time we were together. Would I go back if given the chance mmmm lots of water under the bridge now, times and people change and I would rather have the fantastic memories of her than a bitter taste because things were not the same.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't believe in covering old ground. What ? Give up the life I have now ? No way baby.. I love meeting and experiencing females from different cultures.. Variety is the spice of life ' as they say.. It would take a very good woman to prise me away, let alone a past one.... It's a no from me....
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RHP User
12 years ago
There's an awful lot to look at - the reasons for getting together in the first place, and splitting up, how much you've changed in the intervening time, how much they've changed. But, if all the planets align, and you're both happy, then why the hell not?
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