RHP

RHP User

M39

A moral grey area

March 17 2014

The back story: It was a about 5 months ago and I'd just started a new job. I got to know a work colleague exceedingly well, she'd basically told me everything I would ever need to know on how to woo her. Taking advantage of the fact that she was about to enter into a relationship that she wasn't 100% sold on I used said information for my own purposes and her and I had a brief fling up unitl the point where she picked the other guy over me and we went our separate ways as friends. The current dilemma: Situations are repeating themselves. She's ended it with the other guy and the whole time it was on the rocks she was telling me all the details, so I've got even more info to work with. So I ask you, the anonymous masses, is it wrong to swoop in once more and use the information, a veritable step-by-step guidebook, to pursue this woman once more? It kind of feels a little like manipulation.

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Insider Trading is illegal for Stock Brokers.But Inside-Her trading should be fair in love and war.Besides she gave you the info, and therefore knows you could use it to your advantage. Its not like you got it from a third party.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Steel are you sure you are the one doing the manipulating here? Fark.... Did she tell what sort of jellewery she likes? You know just as part of the conversation. Lol Smart girl keeping you in reserve. :p

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'SteeleJ' I used said information for my own purposes ... use the information, a veritable step-by-step guidebook, to pursue this woman once more? Manipulative? Totally. "Anything you say can be used against you", right? But hey, she told you her most intimate secrets for a reason. She could very well be way ahead of you.

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Cake, and eating it. What makes you think anything good will come of this other than to get your willy wet?! If that's ALL. You want..... Morals become irrelevant. But, if morals are in play because you want more than a root..... walk away. She uses you as an emotional tampon now.... I guarantee it WILL get worse, and you won't like being the guy on the 'other' side. Walk away. There's no shortage of other quality women in the world, even if only for casual play.... which is what led you to RHP. DG - Posted from rhpmobile

  • gazpacho

    gazpacho

    11 years ago

    You don't sound real genuine. The way you put it, you're just trying to jag a shag for a while, when you can. Ask yourself if your intentions, in manipulating the circumstances and yourself, are genuine? Why do you have to sound so clever about it? This lady obviously enjoys your company, and seems you enjoy hers. The big problem I see on the horizon is what happens when it comes crashing Dow. This is a work colleague, after all. You're forced to get on, even if you have a rather nasty falling out, so what is at stake here is your employment, or hers. That's pretty fucken serious, so I hope you are. Hugs Gazpacho

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Do you want something meaningful with this lady? Are you genuine in your intentions?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You just like the game,the challenge.....can you woo her again,knowing what you know?....is this ethically the wrong thing to do?.....only you really know this woman and the dynamics of your relationship xx Q

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You were second on the list !! You will always be second !! No prises for second !! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • thedevilsfantasy

    thedevilsfantasy

    11 years ago

    for a fool.. keeping you hanging on.. I do congratulate her though, she does it well.. could I have her number please, she might be able to teach me a thing or two on how to play these games.. seems being honest doesn't work lol 😉

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Maybe she was working you. Some girls do that you know, keep all their options open. Then when they don't choose you they will still keep you in the picture and when everything falls to pieces they will look to you to help them pick up the pieces, as a friend or even more.......but when they're back on their feet they might move on again So, OP, are you happy to always be the other guy? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    All's fair in love and war..... But as Bigocean said "second is still second" Are you the rebound guy ? If your happy with the situation and like the lady in question, then why not give it a go. Just don't get upset if it doesn't work out the way you envisaged it to.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Nobody mistakenly reveals such information ...maybe it's occasionally subconsciously, but it's not accidental. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • sweetgem

    sweetgem

    11 years ago

    But not from you I'm afraid. Your work colleague sounds like she's way ahead of you OP, so watch out for the catches is all I can suggest :-) The job market is really bad at the moment, unless you are already loaded and don't need anymore money to support your own living, I would say stay out of the mind games playing scene with work colleague(s)! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mr_MrsAraps

    Mr_MrsAraps

    11 years ago

    Your the break glass in an emergency guy. It didn't work out with the guy she wanted and now your her emotional outlet to unload on. Have a think about who is actually using who. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I think a lot of women WANT guys to listen, take notice, pay attention, learn about them and then reflect back that they've done so. I'm impressed that you've apparently absorbed as much as you have :) If you're using the information to say and do all the right things to get laid, well hey, join the queue of the many men that have come before you and will come after you ;) You're definitely not alone in using info to get. And don't be surprised if you find some women in the queue too - we're pretty good at saying what a man wants to hear if we think it will get us what we want too. As for whether she's using you right back and whether you're going to become the emergency/back-up guy, who knows?! Maybe :) You didn't ask us to comment on that but given others have I'll throw my two cents in. I say enjoy, if that's what you want ;) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Sorry! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The way I see it is your reserve no1 and your happy to take up that challenge. she is happy to have you chase her and your happy to chase so no harm done here as far as I can see

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You lose everyone that you've left alone! Or...leave it and you'll lose it..one of the 3...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    She'll do the same thing again.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    What constitutes a step by step guidebook? Is she like "If you undo my pants and put your penis here you're totally in" or is she confiding in you as a friend? Either way I don't see the moral dilemma unless she is truly vulnerable. Although I'd agree with most here in that you're being played but I'm pretty sure you're ok with that. It would also depend on how much you like your job and the dramas that come with the end of a fling. I had a relationship with someone who worked in my business .Heaps of dramas when it ended arguing,screaming, fighting and tears.There was a prolonged 18 month legal battle. The only ones to win out of that were the lawyers. In the end it cost me pretty much half of everything I owned. I mean sure she was my wife and probably deserved the settlement but still. Sorry to make light of your situation and hope you don't feel like I'm patronising you but it's been a hot day I've had a couple of beers this afternoon and feeling a bit cheeky.

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    11 years ago

    Let me share a top secret, secret with you OP - one my nan and mums say all the time to me! "The best kept secret, is the one that's never shared!!" Foxy