A question directed to the males! but anyone can answer :)

May 02 2014

Now if you were in a relationship where there were no 3somes, swinging etc etc in your life basically living a plain but happy life but still managed to find girls to text/chat to online, how would you react if a girl that was a friend of your wife/partner started texting you?? Would you be suspicious of a set up? Or if you believed it wasn't a set up, would you still continue to send text messages to that girl behind your wife/partners back? I hope all that made sense... cheers

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Is everything. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Smilingwithfun

    Smilingwithfun

    11 years ago

    If you have made that decision to be in a relationship then would only do it fine by my partner. As said above, Communication is the key.

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    11 years ago

    Doesn't sound like something I'd want any of my girlfriends to be doing behind my back no matter how allegedly "harmless" it seemed. Especially when that girlfriend would know how much I love my partner or how much he pisses me off at times....she'd have unfair insider information to manipulate both of the team members i.e. the couple concerned. In all seriousness not my cup of tea and I'd be dumping both of you on your arses for your sick disrespectful behaviour.

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    @ miss purple.... if the relationship was living a "plain but happy life".... I expect they'd be happy with just their partner and unlikely to be messaging if texting others..... which can only ever lead to messaging, texting then MEETING others... escalate escalate... escalate. (Kind of like a recent topic in here). And if the person thinks there may be a set up situation, they KNOW they're being deceitful and that their partner will not approve so things aren't really as happy as presented. 2c - Posted from rhpmobile

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    one of those relationships based on convenience, if all was plain and happy. So no, I would not do anything behind Tara's back, by any way. Different kind of relationship.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'prettyinpurple45' living a plain but happy life but still managed to find girls to text/chat to online ...is to go behind your partner's back and look for secret adventures just because you're not happy with your sex life. If you do that, you will quickly become paranoid and start suspecting a "set up" every time you talk to someone new. How miserable would that be...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    This happen to you OP?.....if she was a friend,de friend her at once....she is not your friend... Ie he your partner, then a please explain is required... Hugs xx Q

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    11 years ago

    I think it all depends what type of texting and what tone is used...if it is sexual by all means yes, if the people involved feel that it morally wrong and the partner does not know about it - to me it is a form of cheating. I have a couple whom I am good friends with (non sexual in any shape or form) and the male and I sometimes chat on Facebook every now and again talk on phone, because we are just that "friends"...the female partner and I are just that too friends...all three of us know our boundaries and never have we crossed those boundy lines.....it is all open and honest communication...and we say that we have talked etc etc...there is no hidden a genders what so ever. We have a strong friendship bond between us. If that makes sense?? To answer your question OP If you believed it wasn't a set up, would you still continue to send text messages to that girl behind your wife/partners back?? I would have to stop it straight away, but in a way it was put back onto that person who was sending text messages...put the responsibility back onto them....YES I have done that before. :) I have to ask some questions tho....need more information. Why do you think it is a set up for?? Is there a reason, why you think that? Have you asked why, the person is texting/chatting to other girls on line?? Are you one of the girls that person is texting/chatting on line too?? Has this happened to you or a friend OP??

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    11 years ago

    I reckon this sometimes happen and this is how affairs sometimes start, without those firm boundaries not put in place at the very beginning when the texts start. Wouldn't surprise me. However the set up, is a whole other issue all together. Just sayin... Foxy

  • prettyinpurple45

    prettyinpurple45

    11 years ago

    the friend asked for permission before texting the husband and reports back to her friend the wife in question... (friend can't stand the husband no attraction or anything whatsoever) just to see if the husband is still doing what he used to do years ago... and also to prove a point I guess

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting OP"a girl that was a friend of your wife/partner""behind your wife/partners back" These statements from a 45yo married female?Sounds like it's a male typing As in another post, without credible background, it's not worthy of a reply, but the Trolls feast on it

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Morals people,some have some dont.I do this is a big no - Posted from rhpmobile

  • mateyboy43

    mateyboy43

    11 years ago

    depends which friend it was

  • prettyinpurple45

    prettyinpurple45

    11 years ago

    Hmm - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    It all hinges around context and intent. If the context of the messages were sexual, then yes, I'd be seeing it as a setup, IF my partner was unawares of my indiscretions. However, if it's just platonic context, like a percentage of the messages in my inbox are, then there's nothing really to be concerned about is there?? But.... I also think there's a much deeper issue. If my partner thinks that she needs to set me up in order to test my loyalty, then our relationship/interactions need to cease as clearly there's not even the trust to even talk to me about their concerns. And... Clearly I'm not providing her, with an environment that she FEELS safe and secure. Either way as DG said, it's a sign of a not so happy happiness. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • QLDtwo4fun

    QLDtwo4fun

    11 years ago

    Your already looking around behind your partners back, and now you doing it in her back yard. Little head is really ruling big head. Is casual sex worth that risk?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The mere mention that you are suspicious rings alarm bells, also the term Sh.......g in your own nest could ring true. The mere fact you are even mentioning this to us rings alarm bells, the decision is entirely up to you. Would it eat at your concious to go there?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'sir_stir' It all hinges around context and intent. If the context of the messages were sexual, then yes, I'd be seeing it as a setup, IF my partner was unawares of my indiscretions. However, if it's just platonic context, like a percentage of the messages in my inbox are, then there's nothing really to be concerned about is there?? But.... I also think there's a much deeper issue. If my partner thinks that she needs to set me up in order to test my loyalty, then our relationship/interactions need to cease as clearly there's not even the trust to even talk to me about their concerns. And... Clearly I'm not providing her, with an environment that she FEELS safe and secure. Either way as DG said, it's a sign of a not so happy happiness. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    If I got whiff of a friend of my GF was texting me , Id have to ring her and ask her whats doing ? No point in beating around the bush and getting into all the detective stuff.. ?

  • prettyinpurple45

    prettyinpurple45

    11 years ago

    I guess my point didn't really get across... Just saying that if it was ME getting sexts from a guy who turns out to be a friend of hubby's I would be putting a stop to it straight away... So this person still has the 'balls' to continue sexting away even with the potential threat of being found out... hmmm wonder how long he still has his balls for!!! lol And apparently the text messages are a bit on the sexy side, not just your average everday communication texts.. anyways... let's move on... alls good here :)