F54
A question for the guys on RHP . . .
February 02 2023
Comments
-
countrytouch82
2 years ago
If guys are thinking the wrong things about what women are looking for, from my experience it's based on what they are reading on many women's online profiles. Now, there are certainly women like you mention that are exceptions to this, the same as there are men that are exceptions to those writing bland or crude messages. The forums will of course cover more of the folks with depth of character because of it's nature of reading and writing, than the average profile represents also. Assuming the typical single woman overall feels peace and contentment in their single life, and isn't looking just for attractive physical attributes, and/or has a long list of tick boxes, then it means that the online dating profiles are generally NOT representative of single women overall. Unfortunately many single men do not have any single women (or close women to talk to regardless) to learn about things from the other side. So then it's a case of finding the single women that are not looking online. If they do feel peace and contentment in their lives, they are likely NOT on online dating, because online dating is a BIG upset to these things, adding a variety of problems, for both genders. Based on anecdotal contributions to these forums and others, there have also been some men stating that after they have posted more physically attractive photos with abs etc, they do get more interest, even interest from those that have previously rejected them. So it seems overall a mismatch between the online world of singles and the offline world of singles. On competition, personally I don't feel I am "competing" with men on traits such as profile content or message creativity (I've always done my best on character grounds) etc etc, although I would be on geographical location. Although I'm hoping that if women want peace and contentment they can find it with me in the country :) [Cue: "The Castle" famous quote]
-
madotara69
2 years ago
OpenMindedLass, your photographs are stunning, very lovely, I seem to have troubles looking further into your profile to learn what it is you enjoy, the types of choices you have made and the highlight’s of what friendship means to you. In your pictures you look to be in good spirits and quite willing to socialise and have some fun along the path you travel and to where it may lead into a future of mysteries and exciting adventures indeed. You know, there’s a new culture with our teens and young adults, language, digital platforms, theWWW. In the palms of their hands and the Old School Rules have become near forsaken, as the Oldies try figure out how all this text chat and pictures comes to meet the analog ways, not so well, torn between two worlds. The young folk use these platforms to hook up like its second nature, quick chat Omg URAqt b gr8 2 meet U down the park ltr hook up brb, chill ‘n no frappen out ~z~ 😎 Pretty much anything you wrote will fly straight on by, stress less and serenity?? Probably not even in the new text chat acronyms lol Gr8 post OP, IMHO SLK xoxo It’s why I try tell the gentlemen to start with a picture of themselves big smiling fun seeking face with some pearly white teeth otherwise it’s a smirk and not quite the stopper😁, I’ve learned while with Tara whilst scrolling past all the other types of smile-less introductions.🫣 Mado Mado Tara xx
-
Margo_Lover
2 years ago
All great thoughts on the topic, thank you. It aligns with an item many women talk with me about... comfort. The word comes up regularly when I meet new ladies. They feel comfortable with me, and that's the basis for other feelings they may have. It's not the immediate red hot passion most of us want a lady to feel when we meet, but without comfort, many women can't feel that or much else with us. After a particularly intense 1hr play in the car, on a 1st date, a lady said to me. "I just felt so comfortable with you, that I could cum over and over." So she did. Her words changed my appreciation of the word comfort. It's a word I didn't love, as Margo has used it for decades as one of her primary reasons for us being together. She was so comfortable with me. Now that many other woman have said the same thing... I get it 🥰 - Alex
-
Rising_Phoenix
2 years ago
I think the author of the DM is spot on in a lot of ways, what a pity most people on this site don’t read the forums, such a great learning tool.
-
oil_beef_hooked
2 years ago
I tend to disagree to a point re the competition, true we may be competing with a woman’s peace, but at the end of the day we are also competing with all the other guys who are trying to get the attention of that woman 🤷♂️. As for boring or bland messages it’s a vicious circle. I bet you’d find a large proportion of the guys that send such messages have at one point put a lot of effort in to trying to write a good first message, yet time after time those efforts are ignored. So now it becomes a case of the effort outweighs the rewards and so they now don’t bother. There is no excusing unsolicited dick pics though, I mean there isn’t a dick in the world that is photogenic.
-
sublime005
2 years ago
I'm very cautious on Rhp as I don't want to feel under valued and disrespected. Many guys write messages that scream out desperation and are just crude. I don't want to be just another option, one of many which sometimes it feels. I love my (peaceful) life and just want to add a bit of spice with someone respectful. Maybe I'm on the wrong site 😆
-
Sawadee
2 years ago
I'm one of those who dont believe in asking women to help with a profile.. l believe if a guy asks for pointers for his profile ' and women respond .. His profile is not really his. Its really is what someone elses idea of what a man should be ? Here " l avoid anyone who come across too demanding .. lf your profile has a " war and peace " list of wants and dont wants ' l'll usually just move on .. lm perfectly capable of knowing how to treat a woman without having to be told... In real life ' l find it much easier because of the face to face thing rather than jump through the hoops of someone you really dont know..
-
MsSuperFoxy
2 years ago
I'm flattered. Thank you! Following with interest. Ms Foxy
-
EtherealMagician
2 years ago
My personal perspective has always been to take things slow. I am myself and never try to be anything different. In the sexual connections I have had the woman has been the one to initiate the physical and I guess this comes down to me being laid back, open, honest and communicative. No pressure from me. I have and do get extremely turned on when in the presence of a woman who I connect with, I have been known to communicate this but leave it to the woman to take it further on the first occasion, after all she has to be feeling it as well and letting her control how things will progress adds to the excitement. After the first time I believe an understanding of each other evolves and trust begins to build only then can I begin to work with that, with her and begin to initiate. It all becomes a feeling out of each other. Being able to respect each other as individuals with our own separate lives builds on the aforementioned. And when it is time to end things and move on, as difficult as it may be at times, acceptance is key. OP can attest to this as I still remember the first date we had and it finishing with her asking if she could kiss me. 😈 To answer another part of the question. I don’t feel I am competing with other men, more like competing with the other things going on in a woman’s mind. Women’s brains are physically different to mens, and women use their brains differently to men. I don’t pretend to understand women but I have found that being me, myself (and I don’t mean I am anything special by that) i.e. I know who I am and am confident in that, appeals to some women for some reason. 🤷♂️ As far as opening conversations on RHP this is such a difficult thing as it’s just letters on a screen. There is no body language to read for cues, no scents or smells, no chance to empathise with what is happening in someone’s mind at the moment of hitting send, or the moment that they read it, it really is impersonal. One has to hope that the recipient is in the right frame of mind when they read the initial contact and from my understanding women are bombarded on here and by the time they get to my message they are probably over dealing with men. I mean I messages a profile where a woman posted she didn’t have a gag reflex and my opening line was does that mean you wont laugh at my dad jokes? 🤣 yeah not funny. When it comes to boring profiles and conversations etc, it works both ways, a pair of boobs is just another pair of boobs, that photo of your butt is just one of hundreds but that pic of your face makes all the difference. Trying to continue a boring conversation is hard work and a definite sign that we don’t match. As far as body shape, I’m sure when women are in the mood they will want to hit that six pack and strong arms just as much as a guy wants to hit a hot skinny fit girl. 🤷♂️ As you alluded to, personally I am looking for someone to add to my life as in enhance it rather than to just add to my life as part of a collection. In the end while RHP allows for people who are not sexually shy to connect and communicate, this platform is no different to real life in that meeting people you connect with is still complicated. I hope that this gives you an insight into how my weird individual male brain works. Now the length of my post is getting up there with that madotara69’s regular essays 🤣 ✌️
-
MsSuperFoxy
2 years ago
Simple fact is: People know exactly what they want. Women choose the type of men they want at that time. If they want a dickhead, that's ok. They can. If they want a good man, they can. Most people know within 5 secs where that person sits with them and their lifestyle at that time. If people are at peace and serenity, they don't need the extra burden of complete wankers, especially when they can finish their selves off. Vibrators were invented for a reason. Ms Foxy ✌️ ☮️
-
RHP User
2 years ago
Reality check irrespective of what people say age does play a big part in it coupled with those who have a good command of the English language and how to get there message across. The issue could be sorted out very simply by putting in the age bracket required. I think for most guys if they didn't fit the age criteria they wouldn't waste time messaging, but there are the minority who think they are gods gift who will and these are probably the same ones that get nasty when they are knocked back.
-
AWomanWithNeeds
2 years ago
As with profiles, unfortunately men won't read this either.. 😂 But I can relate especially to the third last paragraph.
-
RHP User
2 years ago
Loved reading all of the comments and your perspective OP. I really adore posts like this that challenge and engage! Personally though (and it may be semantics) but when I was actively looking.... those men weren't competing with my serenity.. I was seeking more than said serenity that can't be filled with my 'own'. Based on that they there is 💯 a sense of 'competition' with eachother.. because like the afore mentioned post - I'm not f*cking for f*cking's sake. And I was looking for something special and specific to me. But they wouldn't know which parts of themselves are in competition because like the other post... all have a place and a match and the incredible diversity here is a beautiful thing in and of itself. Additionally as each person is seeking something different and even more the same.. some want abs, some seek intellect, some want all.. Some connection, chemistry, kink... You name it - it's here and more and even more often it's 'less than' agreed. I don't think all men could know what women want.... I don't even think all women know what they want, until they experience what they don't want. I think all of this is a sifting and sorting process - a constant redefining of preferences and for those of us that have had the euphorically, intoxicating joy of true chemistry, compatibility and connection ... well... we are going to be that little bit more fussy when re looking. I don't want to dismiss what you're saying. I understand it and I agree many would pit serenity over a potential other... But for just as many more we are sifting through said 'men' to find those that stand out in the ways that matter to us and they are being compared to eachother in those ways. Competition isn't linear because preferences aren't.
-
Garyiskeen
2 years ago
Very good points
-
loveYOURpleasure
2 years ago
Well, to answer the specific question regarding competing with (essentially) the status quo, perhaps it’s just semantics but I would suggest that if someone is on a dating app they themselves have some dissatisfaction with the status quo, at least from time to time. Less pedantically (which is challenging for me 😂), I would agree that ultimately us men (and indeed other genders) need to demonstrate that we are at lest potentially sufficiently superior to the status quo to warrant the other person making an effort to do so. Our profiles and first messages need to be engaging enough to elicit a message, a like, or a reply to a message. And from there we need to maintain that momentum… to warrant a phone call, a social meet, and whatever else may follow. Personally, I certainly don’t view it as a competition with other men. If I did I would be busily studying what the other men have to offer, right? I actually view it more as a competition with myself…to communicate to others who I am as best as I can. My philosophy is basically: I am (by and large) who I am and that’s not going to change substantially. I think I am appealing to certain people - definitely not all- and so I try to identify who they might be by reading profiles and then convey myself and my thoughts about why I think we might be worth a message or two in the best way I can. Sometimes that seems to result in a ‘yeah, maybe he’s worth chatting to’ … a possible change to the status quo.
-
Blueyesxxx
2 years ago
Interesting and thought provoking post…. You offered quite a lot of good insight to the female or couples mind. I’m wondering if you have over thought it, and that many of these posts are guys simply seeking validation and a chance to say look at me, I’m normal. Pick me. Rather than individuals really seeking feedback. Just a thought
-
RHP User
2 years ago
.. “dissatisfaction with the status quo” . . . I guess this is one way to word it. .. And yes - what we single gals are looking for, is something that is ‘better than’ our singledom. We ARE quite happy being single. It’s peaceful 🥰 .. I love your attitude towards engagement and conversation, and basically just being yourself. Men aren’t ‘competing’ with other men. That’s why being yourself will yield the best outcomes 😎
-
Mischeviouslad
2 years ago
Pretty looking food can conceal some really nasty surprises Similarly, a pretty photo can be appealing, until the toxicity of the person behind it becomes apparent. So while the image can be eye catching, the attitudes can be utterly repellent. (in here, many pretty pictures also hide very different people and so many guys fall for the bait because horny clouds judgement) I can summarise all of the important app/meeting/dating words down to just two words Empathy and Observation Pay attention to all the messages people present through imagery, verbal and physical cues You know not to approach a nervous looking dog quickly because of the signals its giving off. People share these too, in many different ways You also know that in a bar, walking up to a woman with your erection poking at her is not a good way to start a conversation…. so why do it in here, when people outside RHP are the same people in it. 🤷🏼♂️ Understanding the life experiences of other people, and how that guides their behaviours and expectations goes a long way to better communication with them. Note that I used “with” them…… not too them, which is actually what many guys are asking when they want to know what would make their profile more advertisable.
-
SusyQ
2 years ago
THIS!!!! This is such an important post. 👏👏👏
-
boobsandbusted
2 years ago
Good topic ,Read quite a few comments without my glasses on and now my head hurts ,lol,I have nothing to add Of any value ,and I’m Going to Just stick to treating others in life or text , male or female as I would like to be treated myself ,and be the best self I can be for myself and for others good bad or indifferent that’s for other people to work out the only competition over here is between my brain and my brain and occasionally the conflicted between my brain and body ,lol,oh and what ever Mrs b throws in the mix
-
nopain4me
2 years ago
Open minded lass, You just turned my light on. Men have forgotten the art of wooing a woman. I've been no different, I'll put my hand up. I'm from the country and we see women dressed in stocking or lingerie and in reality a woman is showing her seductive side. Men get caught up in porn and think its real. If we want to treat women as meat look on escorts and babes and pay for exactly that. I married a working woman many years and it wasn't easy but I tried to rescue her and after 10 years I ran out of steam. I don't mind if a woman is married, I'm single and she wants to hear that shes special and appreciated . We have to listen carefully and compliment them
-
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share