M55 F64
About "Trust"
November 20 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Trust is like a glass vase. Once broken you will always see the cracks in trying to put it back together, and it will never be as beautiful. Totally agree trust is most important along with respect and mutual interests. But without trust there is no vulnerability, and without vulnerability there us no intimacy. So yes, trust is big for me :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
This whole site works on trust. You trust people will be discreet with any encounters with you and expect the same in return. You trust that what is in a persons profile is true (and I believe it is in the majority of cases). I hope that the people I meet and communicate with trust me with what is said and done between us. You also need trust between you and your partner regardless of whether or not your partner is involved in your RHP world. My wife is not involved in my RHP world but is fully aware of what I do and I would not have it any other way.
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Single_Guy4U
10 years ago
Must have trust (both to trust & be trusted).
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RHP User
10 years ago
Totally agree 100% It's my biggest issue.
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
I agree! it goes hand and hand with open and honest communication. I do find it hard (and especially difficult) to trust someone a second time around; especially when already proved to me the first time, they gave me one reason not to trust them. I place trust in people by their actions, they way they behave in an acceptable manner and faith. However I don't like it when actions are not followed through, behavior is totally acceptable and my exposed vulnerability is taken advantage of because of my openness. As they say give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves. ;) I believe in the value exchange, piggy bank system - it works - it really does!! Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
To me trust is like a house of cards: It takes ages to build, but the smallest disturbance can knock the whole thing over. And the only place you can start rebuilding it is right at the bottom.
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Missb4u
10 years ago
but you can have relationships without trust. It depends on the type of relationship. I don't trust easily actually there are only 2 people I trust in this world I can have friendships and fuck buddies and even friends with benefits but I don't trust them. I wouldn't be telling them all about me or my life and my inner most thoughts and feelings, in my experience it is not a good idea to ever share these parts of me. It always comes back to bite you in the end.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Trust the easiest thing to lose ! The hardest to regain . - Posted from rhpmobile
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Single_Guy4U
10 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' but you can have relationships without trust. It depends on the type of relationship. I don't trust easily actually there are only 2 people I trust in this world I can have friendships and fuck buddies and even friends with benefits but I don't trust them. I wouldn't be telling them all about me or my life and my inner most thoughts and feelings, in my experience it is not a good idea to ever share these parts of me. It always comes back to bite you in the end. What is wrong with biting you on your end ;-)
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' I agree! it goes hand and hand with open and honest communication. I do find it hard (and especially difficult) to trust someone a second time around; especially when already proved to me the first time, they gave me one reason not to trust them. I place trust in people by their actions, they way they behave in an acceptable manner and faith. However I don't like it when actions are not followed through, behavior is totally acceptable and my exposed vulnerability is taken advantage of because of my openness. As they say give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves. ;) I believe in the value exchange, piggy bank system - it works - it really does!! Foxy Funny when you read something that describes exactly how you feel too..... So so true......Actions speak louder than words and dirty deeds dreadfully hard to forget.....
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JessicaRabbit
10 years ago
When you put your trust in the wrong person and it comes back to bite you on the butt. I am super slow to let people in for that very reason. I don't trust easily as I think a lot of people don't deserve it, sadly. Jess Xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Missb72. " but you can have relationships without trust" That is why these relationships can never be considered as GOOD ones !!! From my experience, sooner or later, someone gets either "physically", "mentally" and/or "financially" hurt !!! Amy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sometimes my problem is that I trust others a little too easily. Live and learn.
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RHP User
10 years ago
JessicaRabbit !!! I do agree that a lot of people don't deserve to be trusted. So when I do find a person that puts his or her trust in me, I make sure never to give that person a reason to doubt me. Trust is the biggest "gift/honour" that another person can bestow upon another. It should always be cherished. Amy
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
It's one of the key factors in any relationship/friendship/partnership, without it there can't be a relationship.... Trust can takes years to build and only seconds to destroy, then once it's been broken, it will never be the same again.....💋
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RHP User
10 years ago
I find words are easily said, but it's actions that speak volumes. Plus trust is a difficult thing, especially if you've been hurt. I used to think being tough was strong. But after some life lessons, I've found that the courage and strength to open yourself and be vulnerable to another person takes so much more courage. You give to the other person the ability to crush you but by building healthy trust and respect it sees them cradle you and caress you having them show you how beautiful and wonderful a person you are. But yes, you need to also find the right people to put your trust in.
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Violetincredible
10 years ago
If you have trust in yourself and you know the people you have relationships with then you understand them as a person and you can almost predict how things will happen. No one is perfect and everyone will make mistakes which may effect you but you learn from these experiences both through what happened and the interactions resulting from it- sometimes a breach in trust can actually bring you closer because it breaks a false belief or you grow together from it. Trusting your intuition, not being ruled by emotion and being able to love, having total trust and love of yourself and look at things from another persons point of view are important. Xxviolet
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes, Amylee, indeed I do agree with you. Still, it's not impossible to regain. If one partner betrays a trust, is truly repentant and seeks to make amends, then it falls to the other partner to have the patience to allow the trust to be rebuilt. That's the power of love. Yes, trust is extremely important but love is the utmost importance. I'm speaking from experience here.
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RHP User
10 years ago
and I am too quick to trust others. I trust unless they give me something to not trust them for. I am also far too open.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Maybe I am too trusting? I take people and situations at face value and usually trust people until they give me a reason not to. Once that trust has been broken things can never go back to the way they were for me. This probably isn't the ideal way to view the world but that's just how I am. When my gut instinct tells me not to trust someone before they have actually not given me a reason to I head for the hills. Very rarely has that instinct been wrong.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I watch their behaviour more than I listen to what they say. I look to see if what they do matches what they tell me, but I also observe body language closely. Lying with words is easy, with actions much less so.
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totallygenuine
10 years ago
Trusting this couple (knew them for 3years with 1 on 1 meets with the wife had sleep overs at their place..I always inclu hubby at all times) and opening up to them was my biggest regret. Well I thought I did now going behind my back spreading false claims about me to my friends on my friends list. Word got back to me. They know who they are reading their updated profile (At our age we are very secure) I seriously laughed cause I seen all the pain and suffering the wife went through just to please the hubby from over the years. I have seriously walked away with my head up from all of this.I wish them both well but really just another stat doomed for massive problems.I've seen it all.
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RHP User
10 years ago
is only ever band aid repairable.. you may forgive but you never forget.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Trust can be given freely, but break it just once and it can never be given again. I often wonder if all the cheats on here that say they love there partner actually understand what the previous sentence means.
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RHP User
10 years ago
... it's all too easy to use it as an excuse. I mean it's a hell of a lot easier to just say that an walk away than it is to confront the issues as to how things played out. If 'broken trust' is used as an excuse and not fully addressed, I think there is a reasonably good chance of it being an issue further down the track. Either way, emotions aside - blessings in disguise.
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Trust can be given freely, but break it just once and it can never be given again. I often wonder if all the cheats on here that say they love there partner actually understand what the previous sentence means. I've often wondered that myself or they say "I'm happy in marriage" followed by "I love my partner"...like WTF?? Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
For those who have broken someones trust.. "If you are the person who has broken another's trust, you have no right to expect anything from them, especially trust. You can only prove by your actions, words, and kept-promises that you are now on the "straight and narrow" and have no intention of straying again. You cannot hold it against them if they search your life for flaws and wrongs -- you earned their distrust. Hard work, patience, perseverance, and consistent proof is the only way to regain the trust you don't deserve." To get someone to trust you again, you have to be genuine and not do anything to make then distrust you. Work really hard on getting them to trust you again - so they can forgive. :) Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Trust nobody,not even yourself... people change,situations change... there are no guarantees...ever....I think it is more important t to understand the human condition than to trust...Make no promides'take no hostages xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
If all the world was trusting, there would be no need for keys and locks, but then could I trust a locksmith as he faces rake and ruin, not to do something to make me lock my open door. Trust is happiness, as all is fine. You don't have to worry about the door, or worry that tomorrow you may find your heart broken on the floor, just keep on laughing and havnig a good time. Trust is the friend of the most unscrupulousness types, it is all they wish to take from you, they keep in jars as prizes, the rest is incidental. Trust is also easy to scar and will never ever heal. You may, like the locksmith, break the trust you were given but there was good reason. A nick. Or you may have your head so far up your asre your own blinding light causes you to break some promise you should have known better to keep (I am guilty of that one). A cut. Or you are just a devil with a shiny trust collection. But every little nick, or cut, or bloodied broken bone, thickens the crust on trust. But for the owner that exposed the trust that's a much darker ride Its not your fault, you may not have even noticed, but all around you are reasons to lock the door, constantly checking, because your scared up crusty trust is hard to even find. Sorry I know very depressing, but we all must remember that even the smallest broken promise will accumulate. So what to do, are we all to end up untrusting and unhappy. Bitter at all, and cynical to the core. I think there is some way to keep your trust scar free, or for some it may be possible for your trust to heal. Its sounds kind of corny, because all you need is to forgive, not a sorry, not action, not in words, or deeds, its all in your head, your very own mind. Its not easy to do I grant you that, but try I implore you all. You will feel it working at the very instant you learn how. Its so simple, forgiveness keeps trust fresh and vibrant. Just words from an imperfect soul, as I struggle to remember how to used to forgive.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You are ridiculously HOT!!!!!Just saying xPeter
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RHP User
10 years ago
There is no real feeling like that of giving and receiving 110% trust :) Once trust is lost/broken I'm sorry but it's never really returned to normal again ? Sure u may get/give 75% back but never will it be that 110% again
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RHP User
10 years ago
Nailed it for me.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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cougar4fun
10 years ago
That you have to trust someone met on this site to hook up with them... For me, I don't believe you can know someone well enough from a few meets and a few messages that you trust them to keep your privacy etc. For me, it's more instinct. I meet up with them, chat for a bit and then hope they have the common courtesy to keep my private life to themselves, but I rarely trust that they will, i just go with my instinct that they seem to be a good person and that my privacy will be respected, but that's just a risk you take being on here. A relationship is totally different. It takes a lot for me to trust someone completely and not much to take it away....I agree that once broken, it's never really repaired, regardless of how much I want to trust someone a second time and feel like I should be able to, there's always that tiny bit of doubt there....for me, trust is the number one thing though. Everyone should have at least one person in their lifetime that they can trust completely.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I can take time….but when present is the most relaxing factor of any kind of relationship.It is very true, as most people here have stated, that one lost it is hard to re-build…..But I believe that there is a part of us that always knows where the trust can be placed to start with. I strongly believe in instinct….that place that is always informing us what is going on.The problem is that our minds usually are so attached to the “story”, the fantasy that we often disregard our instinct and we push through even when it does not feel right, in pursue of the perfect picture….. You always know ultimately where to place your trust and where not to :)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'withoutaclue' Sometimes my problem is that I trust others a little too easily. Live and learn. .....have been bitten and back-stabbed so many times you think I would be a little more jaded!! But I still then to believe in people until they show me I'm wrong to...then it's about them trying to rebuild what they have destroyed
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Its sounds kind of corny, because all you need is to forgive, not a sorry, not action, not in words, or deeds, its all in your head, your very own mind. Its not easy to do I grant you that, but try I implore you all. You will feel it working at the very instant you learn how. Its so simple, forgiveness keeps trust fresh and vibrant. Just words from an imperfect soul, as I struggle to remember how to used to forgive. And tend to think it's not so much about what has happened but more so how we react that makes all the difference. It's fair to say that we all have things that we just wont tolerate due to or own current belief systems. Every now and then someone comes along to confront and/or challenge them and even possibly shift our current perspective. When we stop focusing solely on our own and take into consideration all contributing factors as well as where the other person is coming from, acceptance (as in acknowledging not necessarily condoning) makes it so much easier to forgive, whereas, if we can't see past our own point of view - there is little chance of resolving any issue let alone trust issues.
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RHP User
10 years ago
jensman1903 !!! Trust is not impossible to regain. Love is all powerful. It can overcome just about everything !!! I'm speaking from experience too !!! Amy
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RHP User
10 years ago
I used to be like you and I was "badly burnt" by freely trusting others.This caused me to adopt a very "negative" attitude towards people. This in itself is very "bad" and can be harmful to one's own "psyche". So I made myself "snap" out of it. But now I'm very "cautious" when it comes to trusting people. Never take a person at "face value" !!! Some of Life's Lessons can be extremely "hard" and often than not, they "play" with the thoughts in your head !!! Amy
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RHP User
10 years ago
"Everyone should have at least one person in their lifetime that they can trust completely." For me, it is my husband, and the reverse is also true !!! Where "trust" and "love" are concerned, here are my thoughts on it : You can trust someone without being in love with him or her. You cannot truly love someone without there being trust. Amy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Impossible for trust to have meaning unless and often after, it is broken, sadly. But it needs other values to validate it, like love, truth, honesty, forgiveness. However we seem to have an endless, easier supply of delusions, especially about ourselves. Time removes naiveity, wisdom is hard earned. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Jay_me' is only ever band aid repairable.. you may forgive but you never forget. This is so true. I understood why, I forgave him, but you never forget someone betraying your trust. It's always in the back of your mind, so you question your motives for everything someone does. I have tried to rebuild a relationship with my long term 'friend' after finding out he continued to see his 'ex' behind my back for the first two years we were together. What pisses me off royally is him still calling me neurotic or paranoid about his actions and telling me to get over it and move on. I HAVE moved on, or he wouldn't still be in my life, but for some reason he doesn't understand why I can't ever trust him 100% again. Once a 'cheat', always a cheat...says a fellow 'cheater', lol. And yes, I know...what do I expect? Answer: perhaps a different kind of relationship in future, where open, clear and honest communication, not hiding everything and who we intrinsically are from each other, is the norm. Hmm...let's look back at the threads on communication for some validation there.
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RHP User
10 years ago
only trust in yourself, trust in others is having high expectations which are bound to fail.enjoy people for what and who they are, not what you want them to be.
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Chelle63
10 years ago
As far as I am concerned trust is the most important thing in any relationship. Once that is broken it can never be fully restored, there will always be that nagging doubt in the back of your mind. My biggest hate is liars............... if I catch you in a lie then that's it as far as I am concerned.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Quoting 'Blindman67' Trust can be given freely, but break it just once and it can never be given again. I often wonder if all the cheats on here that say they love there partner actually understand what the previous sentence means. I've often wondered that myself or they say "I'm happy in marriage" followed by "I love my partner"...like WTF?? Foxy And then these are the same people that expect "trust" from you by expecting you to be "discrete" as they fear they will get caught out. And they expect that you will trust them when they cannot even be honest with ones they supposedly "love"...........hhhmmmmmm
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RHP User
10 years ago
Trust can never be fully regained, but life also is never perfect and humans are infallible creatures. This is by means an excuse, and it is for the victim of broken trust to forgive and move on. And in doing so, I like the proper response to an apology. When someone says sorry... never say "that's ok" as it says the behaviour was ok and you can do it again.... always say, "I accept your apology" indicating the behaviour was not ok but I am willing to forgive for the sake of the relationship but don't repeat the behaviour.
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RHP User
10 years ago
can take years to build but can be destroyed by mere suspicion...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Trust is a requirement for a good relationship though it is not the be all and end all.There needs to be more than just trust, there needs to be common interest, caring and other factors that without trust can be meaningless. Fully agree that once lost it is hard to regain and I love the glass vase analogy... so apropos. I trust people generally with the small things in life and as the trust builds so does the relationship. SG
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RHP User
10 years ago
When we trust someone we are investing in their future behaviour wether it be practical or emotional we evaluate the person and the situation, and make a judgement, and usually that judgement is done unilaterally and without consultation. We trust them. And yet when that judgement proves bad, it's their fault. Why is that ?
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RHP User
10 years ago
50zcool.... it's because communication is made about desired and undesired behaviours.... particularly behaviours that would hurt the said individual... so when the person undertakes said unliked behaviour, they go against the agreement onto which you are basing your trust. For example, walking down the street you don't expect to get punched in the head, because society sets rules against this. And in relationships, similar rules are established and "hopefully" communicated. Accidents do happen, but if monogamy is a rule in your relationship then saying.. I accidentally feel over and my pants came down as I did, and low and behold her skirt just miraculously lifted up, and for an unrelated issue I was hard and you wouldn't of guested it but it just slid in. You know the rules to your relationships and if not clarify them, so that you know that each is clear on behaviour they can trust.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' 50zcool.... it's because communication is made about desired and undesired behaviours.... particularly behaviours that would hurt the said individual... so when the person undertakes said unliked behaviour, they go against the agreement onto which you are basing your trust. For example, walking down the street you don't expect to get punched in the head, because society sets rules against this. And in relationships, similar rules are established and "hopefully" communicated. Accidents do happen, but if monogamy is a rule in your relationship then saying.. I accidentally feel over and my pants came down as I did, and low and behold her skirt just miraculously lifted up, and for an unrelated issue I was hard and you wouldn't of guested it but it just slid in. You know the rules to your relationships and if not clarify them, so that you know that each is clear on behaviour they can trust. I would have thought desired behaviours would be part of the "risk assessment", can this individual behave in x manner ? Yes/No ? The expectation that they will follow the rules is your assessment. Therefore is it really their fault ?Or I guess you might argue is monogamy a realistic expectation ? Meh, me thinks I talk shit sometimes
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RHP User
10 years ago
50zcool... risk is everywhere. Life without taking some risks is pretty boring to me. But if you are looking at risk/reward dynamics, all I can say is relationships are not business deals - or if you think they are then maybe that's why so many fail. Trust is that person you can open up to about your deepest emotions and know you'll be accepted as you (or helped if you are having troubles). If every time you look at the risk of opening up to someone then you're bound to hide things. And my guess is you do this so you put on a persona that you know will get certain rewards. But in this you are already cheating the other person of really getting to know yourself. And cheating is breaking of trust. So by looking at the risk, you already are destining the relationship to lying. Ok, yes healthy boundaries are necessary to get know people and this takes time. And it's possibly love when you are open without concern for the risk.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'OF_78' 50zcool... risk is everywhere. Life without taking some risks is pretty boring to me. But if you are looking at risk/reward dynamics, all I can say is relationships are not business deals - or if you think they are then maybe that's why so many fail. Trust is that person you can open up to about your deepest emotions and know you'll be accepted as you (or helped if you are having troubles). If every time you look at the risk of opening up to someone then you're bound to hide things. And my guess is you do this so you put on a persona that you know will get certain rewards. But in this you are already cheating the other person of really getting to know yourself. And cheating is breaking of trust. So by looking at the risk, you already are destining the relationship to lying. Ok, yes healthy boundaries are necessary to get know people and this takes time. And it's possibly love when you are open without concern for the risk. This is so true. This brings up something that is rarely recognised, usually because it is an 'inconvenient truth' and to be ignored at all costs, especially by the 'aggrieved party'. When one party looks at the relationship as a deal, or 'whats in it for me', it takes on the deal breaker mentality, almost doomed to fail. As 'OF_78' has said, when one withholds the lack of trust issue is already there, and if not dealt with in a natural growing together and learning about each other, and learning to give, it may become a breach of trust anyway. One, or both refuse to give of themselves and be vulnerable, and Im not saying you do this in an abusive situation, far from it. A marriage is a commitment to give all, but if you then dont give all of yourself, and take on other pursuits as a placebo for the primary relationship, essentially living in denial, then it is a breach of trust already, and division can grow. Frustrating years later when infidelity appears, the finger pointers crawl out of the woodwork, but the truth is, the trust was broken many years ago.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Unfortunately I feel that once you lose trust it's never the same again... Trust and respect ... Very important .. - Posted from rhpmobile
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totallygenuine
10 years ago
Soooooo true I'm with you on that.
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