RHP

RHP User

M55

Amusing jack and jilling off tales

February 05 2018

ASF's the drought thread had me looking back at my younger life hence putting up this topic. Unfortunately I don't have an amusing tale as such but.... When I was young I was very much the romantic and was determined to give myself only to the girl I wished to share my life with. Well as we know, rarely do fairy tales come true. So at around 25/26 I gave in to the sexual tension that had built up over all those years. Now this was quite a subject and a butt of many jokes and stirrings for my mates and people who asked me in general about blue balls and the like. And when asked I would reply: Have you seen the film 'Catholic Boys' well the lad that confesses his outrageous wanking sins.... well I put that dude to shame. And had the wankers rash to show for it. Oh the memories of those lustful and painful days

Comments

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    7 years ago

    I used met the boys behind the laundry, until I got caught by Nun Megan. That's when I discovered the confession box. 😇😈 Ms Foxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    the stairs, with the boy from across the road, at mum and dad's house. Never got caught. 😜 LC.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    😂😂 Love it

  • OkeyDoke45

    OkeyDoke45

    7 years ago

    I was on a solo road trip a couple of years ago - camping along the way whenever I found a good spot. I pulled up one afternoon a good distance away from a busy highway, behind a hill and set up camp. Completely by myself which is just how I like it. It had been a hot day and the late afternoon was still quite warm so I stripped off and reclined in my chair in the shade. I decided that a little bit of self-loving wouldn't go astray, in that half-arsed distracted way. Anyway, the noise of traffic from the highway completely masked the sound of a campervan which suddenly trundled along the same track into view. So there I was, doing a mad dash for my clothes with a rather prominent boner. Now, you would think that a couple of people who stumbled across a naked man with an erection in the middle of the bush would think twice about setting up camp in close proximity. Nope.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    OkeyDoke45- hilarious!!! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I'm strangely turned on by that story. If I had driven in and seen you like that, I wouldn't have bothered setting up my own camp 😉

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    ... MAY know where I was at school...Until they sacked my arse..Some people may ask "WHY do you like to fuck on other people's gravestones Cavey???"Not such a strange outcome - of our coming of age.The high school I attended as a boarder had a fully operational cemetery BETWEEN the boys college and the girls college..I fucking KNOW I Am not the only student of that school who even today LOVES to fuck on gravestones...AND.. "If you are into bondage... then trust me.. I do AWESOME things with ropes, blindfolds and other toys in a cemetery"

  • PurePeony

    PurePeony

    7 years ago

    OkeyDoke, that was hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣 Cavey, you must have an exhibitionist streak! You always have "an audience" in cemetaries! 😜 It must have been more like dogging! 🤣🤣🤣

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    You never cease to amuse me with your stories and anecdotes. And if I had of gone to that school I would be frequenting the cemetery on a daily basis. So when is your book of awesome tales coming out, be a great read bloke. Just to add to this thread as I suddenly had recall. I was a child that discovered his sexuality at an extremely early age and well before puberty I would sit in my primary classes and play with myself under the table, hit the climax several times but once as I was fiddling away I was asked to stand and read. Well I sort of got up half way between a stand and a crouch with my tshirt pulled way down to hide my excitement but still read beautifully. Always reminded me of the pic of the kid on the diving board from 'Where Did I Come From'. Thank you to those who have shared their amusing tales so far.

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    7 years ago

    ...and me a few years younger playing doctors and nurses in the bushes of her front yard.. We had a lovely time except she developed this big red rash due to the paspalum grass I used on her pussy as my instrument ? Next thing I knew , her mother had me by the ear marching me home to my mum... where they both procedded to lecture me about the hazards of sticking paspalum grass in pussies ? Cranky buggers...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    ...Pure Peony if you can fuck with the intensity and duration as you incessantly seem to talk? Ditch this shit and run away with me to Cuba! You can fire up my cohibas. 🙃👍😎 - Posted from rhpmobile

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    7 years ago

    C'mon mate, let it go.

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    7 years ago

    Seriously. 😳 Maybe don’t read it if you don’t like it? - Posted from rhpmobile