RHP

RHP User

F56

Appropriate messages

March 30 2016

Is there such a thing?? I recently received a message from a couple, Ive not messaged before nor have I even viewed their profile. It said "We are keen on meeting a mature woman but would need to see pics first" Now, is it me or is this just rude? It felt like they were assuming Id be thankful they had contacted me! Am I being a little precious about this? Looking forward to your opinions 😊

Comments

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    9 years ago

    There are certainly INNAPPROPRIATE messages, with people often hiding behind the excuse of "it's a sex site " to act like letcherous dribbling weirdos. I don't think the message you received was innappropriate, but your reaction means it was not successfully communicated by them. It's logical to want to see photos to determine a level of interest and personal attraction, but blurting out a statement of demand without first engaging and interesting the recipient is just not the path to success, as you've observed. Additionally, there are those in here who just like to view or even collect photos. Why I really don't know, given that porn is only a couple of clicks away. There are no set rules YOU must follow when communicating in this strange human catalogue. You set your own guidelines, tolerances..... and the pace of what you're comfortable in doing, and with who. If they have issue with that..... hit the NEXT button and they miss out on you, the very person they were interested in, in the first place. Funny like that huh 😄

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    If you don't like it, you don't like it. If I find a message comes across as rude or boring I delete and move on. A bit of effort is appreciated, not just 'hi you sound nice can I see your pics?' - Posted from rhpmobile

  • social_suicide

    social_suicide

    9 years ago

    Nothing wrong with the message at all. Basically after your first week on here you realise that photos are very important, as this is a sex site so attraction is one key ingredient. Basically the approach is one of efficiency, get the most important part out of the way at the beginning, then the real matchmaking process starts.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Isn't it a bit like road rage? You put someone behind the wheel in a closed box (the car) and they feel so insulated from the people around them that they forget they are real people instead of just other objects. I reckon the internet is a bit like that too. You don't actually see the person you're messaging.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I don't see a problem with the message :) Attraction is critical, pictures are the first step to building that attraction. If you are uncomfortable sending pics, don't! Your gut judgement is important, if it's not right for you, don't respond to them! Mary xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    inappropriate or rude....but it does come across as being in a rush to sort through profiles. This approach has you feeling like you've taken a ticket at the deli in Cole's or woolies lol which is pretty shit.... But... If their approach does nothing for you, then I'd suggest they're not too compatible with you anyway... So just reply with this:- Thanks for your message, fucken wanker, shit, piss..... Sorry, my Tourette's fucken shit, cunt pussy basher, also comes out in my writing cunt face, wank, fuck.... My dance card is currently fucken shit, full right now piss, cunt... Want my fuck off number?? :) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mr_MrsAraps

    Mr_MrsAraps

    9 years ago

    It's not rude per day but it's still poor etiquette / judgement. If it's a real life situation you wouldn't walk up to someone and say lets go back to my place. I would at least make some effort to get to know them first. If there is interest there then sure then ask for some face pics, cock shots or whatever you like. But to ask the person for face shots first. That would be a no for me. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    You brought tears to my eyes!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I guess messages depend on what people are after on this site. I would say the message was blunt and to the point, it could have been worded a little differently to make one feel a bit more comfortable but not so bad. I have heard of some real shockers unfortunately. The pics seem to be of the utmost importance to most which I guess is to be expected and for some to show pics that could be an issue with trust and privacy. In the end we always have the choice of responding or not.

  • hotdelights

    hotdelights

    9 years ago

    Aren't we here to contact communicate and if we all click well go your own ways ... pics are our importants of clicking for intrest .. flirting is to say hello only by our minds . Couples need that stimulation all together. .. we are not siting in a class room here be open

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    9 years ago

    Would suggest they would open their pics first as they are doing the approach. If not, the simple reply " your gallery gets mine" solves it.

  • sweetgem

    sweetgem

    9 years ago

    Is defined differently from people to people 😊 The message you received doesn't sound rude, but blunt. But then I do not know if that was all in the message, or was there more content to it. Therefore, I am not going to try to analyse it (because it would turn out to be just my personal thoughts, not what the sender of the message meant) and would suggest that you don't take this message to heart, instead take it as a learning journey in your RHP time 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Fuck me! You have such a way with words lol come whisper in my ear 😉 To the OP Did they open their PG when they sent the message? So you could see if you may be interested? I think people forget that we are here for our own gratification and not theirs lol It's not the way to approach a unicorn haha Opening pics comes with the natural flow of the conversation and shouldn't be a demand 😊 RR 💋

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    ...no foul. Next question? Quoting 'Summer_solstice' Though I agree with the sentiment of the message (I don't communicate with guys unless I can see their faces), I think it was poorly worded.I agree SS, although what really sends me in a woman's profile is a hot pair of..... shoes!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Don't quite understand the problem with them needing to see you, sorry

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    my comment probably sounded harsh, sorry, I didn't mean it to. It is different for everyone. For me personally, I like to see their face before I'll talk to them, not always, but most of the time. It's not just to see if there's an attraction, it's to do with the whole trust thing, and that is a much bigger issue on these sites. I just like to be able to get a visual on the person so I know who I'm talking to, though from the comments above, that's different for everyone. The person who sent the message I'm sure would have meant it in good faith, but just made the message a bit 'lean'. We all have things that don't appeal in messaging, what's fine with one, won't be for another. How you choose to follow up, or not, is a personal thing for you. We can't say whether it's right or wrong for you to feel that way

  • rupamohan

    rupamohan

    9 years ago

    There can be tendency to stereotype feeling for example if something doesn't sound polite it must be rude. I tend to disagree...in business situations let us say 10% are really polite message, 50% are standard fake politeness, less then 5% are rude and rest are plain straightforward response. To me this is a very impersonal message and the content is not the best way to score a root. There are better way to rephrase and pace the message content so that you still stick to how you work but do it in a more diplomatic way. Often such message comes when you are not really interested in others but you still want to take chances. I mean a half hearted effort. The problem is it rarely works. Once you make a decision that you want to try something you need to act as if you are serious even if in your mind you are not.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Stirry' inappropriate or rude....but it does come across as being in a rush to sort through profiles. This approach has you feeling like you've taken a ticket at the deli in Cole's or woolies lol which is pretty shit.... But... If their approach does nothing for you, then I'd suggest they're not too compatible with you anyway... So just reply with this:- Thanks for your message, fucken wanker, shit, piss..... Sorry, my Tourette's fucken shit, cunt pussy basher, also comes out in my writing cunt face, wank, fuck.... My dance card is currently fucken shit, full right now piss, cunt... Want my fuck off number?? :) - Posted from rhpmobile Tourette's template. Let's take this out for a spin and see how many have a sense of humour Funny stuff

  • sean_73

    sean_73

    9 years ago

    as you did'nt contact them,or seen or heard of them,i can see where you are coming from in the senseof hey!how about a polite note 1st,and then ask if its ok to say can we see a pic,and assume that you are already interested.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    It's also odd that couples aren't part of your selection criteria OP and yes it was abrupt...and yes it should have had an additional "we'll show you ours first if you are interested " xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    That was the message in its entirety :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Thats my point exactly! I dont consider this to be just a "sex" site. I've actually made friends here and found a partner etc. My point is, would you approach someone in, for want of a better word "normal" everyday life like that?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Im not quite sure why i dont have that on my profile, ill need to correct that 😉

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I hear what you're saying, and i totally agree. I certainly wouldn’t meet anyone without seeing pics first. Perhaps i wasnt clear. Its not the request for pics that botheted me, its the way they asked. As Freya said, couples is not listed in my preferences and the tone of the message that i got was "ok, well we'll consider meeting but need to see pics first" when I hadn't viewed their profile, sent a flirt or any other sort of contact. Perhaps its a double standard but if i received a message like that from a guy id just chalk it up to a typical males abruptness (sorry to generalise guys, please dont hate me 😆) but i just maybe expect a little more from couples??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Now THAT was funny! 😅😂😂

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I think the message was abrupt and a few lines of hello ..... etc first would have been nice. And Stirry I nearly chocked on my coffee laughing at your rely 😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    9 years ago

    Precious. I say that because Im sure you would want to see pics too. Think about it ey? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Really Inspirit?? So its cool not to have a "hello" or "hey" before just expecting pics? Especially when I havent expressed an interest in couples? As Ive said previously, I realise people always refer to RHP as a sex site but Im not getting paid so some good old fashioned manners dont go astray. Perhaps you could think about that eh? 😉

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Yeah, you get me :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I can't wait until the next telemarketer calls lol - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I think that most people like to start a conversation. Asking for pics without even making the effort to begin that conversation smacks of being a tin of tuna in the supermarket isle..... and makes me think you're just sending out bulk messages hoping that with enough messages sent you'll get some sort of response in return. Asking for pics in the first breath online kind of indicates to me that you haven't the inclination or interest in actually getting to know me first to see if we actually have any common interests. After all, I'd never walk into a pub and find the first guy I can lay eyes and say, "Hey babe, could you just drop your jocks, I wanna see how well hung you are before we start chatting!" A sensible man would run for the hills with that approach.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    just laugh and move on. That as an initial message just reeks of laziness! (And I strongly suspect written by the male half...) I agree totally with what most have said, a few more lines of introduction would go down much better!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Lol, i might just try that tbe next time Im out for a drink 😉

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    are we really this uptight in todays "modern" world? Different stroke for different blokes and all that, i mean you gotta have a laugh dont ya hahahahahahaha