F51
Are we all just consolation prizes??
March 22 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Kas, Welcome to the forums :) I've been reading and contributing for a while now, and have learnt that people are on RHP for a myriad of different reasons. Yes, some are just here to fulfil a fantasy or two so they can tick it off their fuckit list, and they may well have a hierarchy. You happened to have come across one of them unfortunately. Whatever you do, don't take it personally. Consider it a lucky escape :) You will not always come second to something kinkier/hotter. We're not all just consolation prizes. There are plenty of amazing people on this site who will treat you with respect and decency... you've just got to find them. Accept that you may meet some real creeps along the way, develop a thick skin, work out an effective screening system and you'll have lots of fun :) Much love, Elle xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Well that's just rude isn't it.
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chevtrek
10 years ago
This will happen every so often but can suggest you go to a cluband enjoy variety.I can not comment on self esteem issues but will say this.For 5 years I tried to find a partner my age and even though I had lots of sexthe fact I could not find love got me down and my esteem was low.I threw away age restrictions and now guys even 18 wish they were meand I am known now as the lucky bastard.Your turn will come
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
That guy sounds like a flake. We've found some single guys string you along with lame excuses for dropping out. There might not have even been a couple... In life and online some people are solid, follow through with their words etc, and others are full of hot air or shit. It's disappointing to have your time and expectations wasted on someone who clearly didn't deserve it. Thankfully there are also some top people out there to help restore your/our faith that it's worth the effort.
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RHP User
10 years ago
The guy is a douche, no excuse for flaking out last minute! We alsio doubt there was a couple and more likely a fake profile or married guy who never intended to meet....or wife came home early ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
There are plenty of good guys here, but they may take some time to find. Just remember that you teach people how to treat you, so don't lower your standards for anyone. Welcome!
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Andyjayyy
10 years ago
Sorry to hear about getting sidelined, I thought that only happened to single guys but I guess being on this site is no different to what you find in any life situation...You can come across decent considerate people or inconsiderate ones. Once I say I'll meet someone, I stand by that commitment no matter what.. 95% of the time that consideration is returned.. 5% of the time I get left hanging (one particularly gorgeous young lady here on this site site & one similarly got couple, arrhh). I don't mind at all if they let me know when things change.. it's the few that can't even let you know, that are frustrating.. It's really not that hard to txt someone so they don't waste their time stupidly wondering what's happening & not wanting to disappoint them. At least I know I do the right thing and that is recognised & appreciated by those I do see. A - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Could be that he had no intention of ever meeting...just a little fantasy that he could. .He was married and got cold feet..He was single and got cold feet. .He did double book himself. .His budgie died xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
sounds like he had cold feet but what a funny excuse to give you, a true gentlemen would have asked if you were interested in joining him and the other couple he was meeting up with
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thats a terrible thing to have happen to you so early in your experience on here. I would have felt the same as you if it had happened when I first started meeting. Fortunately for me,when I have had a couple of crappy experiences, they were later on when Id learnt to be a bit street smart on here and didnt let things get to me personally. Dont let it turn you off. There are some wonderful people on here. His excuse probably wasnt true anyway, and if it was, well that shows you what kind of person he is.Unreliable.If he contacts you to meet up again, I would be telling him that I was way too busy meeting other guys to have time to fit him in for a date.His loss, your gain for seeing his true colours before you got involved. So get back on the horse and enjoy yourself.
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RHP User
10 years ago
The only absolute is that there are no absolutes here. Some men are dicks. Some women are dicks. Some are living in their own little fantasy land. However there are some totally amazing wonderful people here too, sometimes they are hard to find, but they are always worth the time spent searching... Good luck, chin up... Hp 💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Like the other Members have stated, there are all types of people on this Site and some will treat you better than others. I've never taken the attitude that I'd be someone else's "consolation prize". No way !!! I'm the one that does the choosing. Sure I get heaps of guys sending me flirts and messages but in the end I choose the ones I think are the best from the way they construct their messages. Eventually you will get to know which men sound more sincere than others. There are some good and decent men out there and I have conversed with quite a few. My current boyfriend is one such man and he is the one that contacted me first. When I was deciding whether this man was the right one for me, I had all sorts of advice from other Members and even from my husband. No one believed that a decent man could actually be a Member of RHP. But he is and so there must be others who will treat you well and not just as a "consolation prize". Always bear in mind that you are "Worth it" so don't give up hope too quickly. By the time my perfect man came along, I had been on RHP for 15 months. His appearance on RHP came as a very unexpected and pleasant surprise !!! I wish you all the luck sincerely. :) Amy
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RHP User
10 years ago
I applaud your bravery in posting, Kas, and I'm awed at your insight into yourself. There are a lot of men who aren't interested in meeting with a couple at all. (Ewwww, seeing a penis!) So had it been some other guys, they might've ditched a couple to go visit you! There's a wide variety of people here. It's hit and miss, but I can assure you that there are hits. Hang in there until you find what you're looking for. It doesn't fall into your lap. Well, not immediately.
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RHP User
10 years ago
As the only individual guy (as in a guy not part of a couple profile) to respond so far I am sorry that you were treated this way by another guy from RHP. As others have said above, there could be any number of reasons for cancelling at the last minute, but common decency (I know that decency may be lacking in some quarters here) dictates that he should of either advised you much earlier of a change of plan, or not scheduled another meet once yours had been arranged and confirmed. On the other hand, I am glad that you found out about the change of plans before the meet, because if he shows so little consideration for others, there is a chance that he might have been even more inconsiderate of your wishes later on had the meet progressed and he become more than slightly under the weather. At least a last minute rejection, while potentially humiliating, meant that you arrived home safe and well, if slightly frustrated. Unfortunately there are all sorts of people in the world, and RHP provides a fair but small sample of the general population. Better luck with your future experience here.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
No heirarchy...... some people in here (clearly) have no social skills or empathy or respect. The messages Im SURE you've received will testify to that. The best thing you can do in sites like this... or any internet based site for that matter is to assume everyone else has an agenda where they are the priority, and develop your screening methods to weed these people out as best you can BEFORE deciding to : - * reply to their message* obtain their number* talking to them and deciding if meeting face to face is a good use of time People are in such a rush in here they send messages demanding to meet (and shag!!!) based only on a photograph, and before they've even figured out if meeting someone is worth it yet. Weird.
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RHP User
10 years ago
not to use and see this place as the be all and all of your social/sex life. It appears that many people on here do see it that way, and unfortunately, disappointment can be amplified through crappy experiences like the one you just had. When you have a well balanced social life, the disappointments of crappy experiences such as this will feel far more insignificant.......they will still be disappointments and feel crappy, but it won't feel so overwhelming. take care
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RHP User
10 years ago
Keep the balance and dont let this medium be your only form of "dating/hookups" or it can desensitise you ( thats my word for the week) and this is said from personal experience😳
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think it might be a bit naive to think everyone on here is just ticking off a fucklist, I'd speculate to say those that hold that ambition are in the minority and don't stick around too long. I'd doubt very much if the guy in question got a couples gig in favour of you, its more likely he decided his photos weren't him and his dick was a bit green. Don't take it personally just learn to be a little more careful in identifying who to meet. Guys have the same issue, I was chatting to a girl last week who was 100 miles an hour to meet only to go silent on the day. Later she says she is rethinking her plans.... no doubt she will turn up with a new profile, maybe this time she will actually say she is attached which was fairly obvious from the start. Some of these games are just necessary processes people need to go through to feel there way in, some are protection against doing something wicked. Keep smiling and keep moving on :) On and if you fancy hooking up ..... ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks to all of you for the support, but I should clarify the whole question wasn't based solely on his perceived rejection. I have a whole plethora of past rejections to choose from. :) sad but true. As for the guy, go easy on him. I have met up with him before (so I know his dick is not in fact, green but that made me laugh) and he is actually a really good guy. I think I just had a flashback to all the crappy relationships I've been in, and blew a misunderstanding out of perspective. I should probably remember in future not to have a tantrum via blog posts and forums.... but thanks for not making me out to be a bunny boiler.
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6exxy
10 years ago
Thanks for your last post giving more insight. As you have noticed some are quick to shot even without all the facts. I applaud your courage and honesty. Hopefully a nice guy will help restore some of your shine. However gurlfriend you must take the first step and believe in who you are, love yourself and ask for the same love in return. I wish you luck in your search? Where are you? Hugs and kisses 😘
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