Are we normal?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  You're definitely not abnormal, it's only naturally to feel a little self-concious when it comes to others opinions and what they may/ or may not think of you. But you're not going to appeal to everyone, the same as the rest of us, everyone has a wide variety of preferences when it comes to finding playmates :)As hard as it may be to do, you'se just need to relax, lose a lil inhibition and let any negative stuff roll off your back. Life is too short to worry about what others think :)Mrs F xx

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  we completely understand that we will appeal to some and not to others and we aint (at least we don't think we are) an unnattractive couple just thought this was goin to be an awesome enjoyable experience not so stressful ya know lol :) I think it is mostly in our heads cause being new to this and all it a bit daunting all of a sudden lol

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  These sound like normal inhibitions to me. Oh and just because you have a lot of contacts is no indication that you shag them all so you can go ahead and make friends and nobody will think you are a slut. As for your inhibitions, well if you drop them like a pair of damp undies you'll have more fun I think. Warm hugs gazza

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Our start in all this was a little different as for our first experience we picked up another mf couple in a gay club in town, rather than on rhp. We learnt about sex clubs when we took a friend on holiday to a strip club and I bought Andy and I a lap dance...the dancer was also a swinger and told us where she likes to go....   We were very nervous/excited the first time we went to the sex club, do not worry about what others think. As others have said, you will not be what everyone here is looking for but you will be just right for some. Dont be afraid of taking control of any situation you find yourselves in and just be upfront and hones with the people you chat with right from the very start, if they have a problem with that then they are not the ones for you.   Relax and have fun. It was hit and miss in the beginning for us but we kept talking with each other and eventually you get better with the whole process and find what works for you and what doesnt   Goodluck xx Sal

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  think about it, if there were a bunch of nervous virgins who looked way to far into everything or a more experience group who knows what they want and how to get it which would you choose??Fake it till you make it

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It's a tough world this swinging business, we have met some great people but also been messed around by some.  We seem to have learnt our way over the past 3 months in relation to what we are looking for and how to get it.   We nearly didn't walk into our first swingers party and the night we met our first couple from RHP out at drinks we were shitting our pants :)  all seems a little silly now.   Relax and enjoy you will never get the beginning back.   Kiles

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Hey guys,   Interesting to read your post and the things you are dealing with at this early stage! It is totally normal to be feeling the way you are, and it is extremely common to be cautious and often resistant in these early stages of feeling your way around this AMAZING lifestyle. Our thoughts to try and help you would be -   If you are experiencing things in your personal lives "things turned upside down" then we would suggest you let your lil problems subside before stressing yourselves too much with this. The outside stress will often confuse your frame of mind, when actually your outside pressure is what might be creating the issues.   Remember together as a couple what "kinky" "horny" or "memorable" experience which first opened your eyes up to the thoughts of enjoying this lifestyle, and if it was entirely mutual then focus deeply on those thoughts together which will really help soften the pressure and feelings of what is now becoming a reality rather than a previous fantasy!   We would really suggest at this point (from 100% experience) if you are pretty sure you want to at least "meet" people with an open mind and just maybe, kinda, sought of, possibly enjoy an intimate friendship, turn your focus back to just a few of your more "favourite" profiles/people and arrange a night out! All your fears will quickly diminish once you make a positive introduction with your first couple and all these fears that seemed to be snowballing out of control will all fade away.   When you meet the right people which seem to match your expectations, there is never any expectation or unwanted pessure involved and you will feel so comfortable and eager that you will be bursting at the zipper to go the next step. it's an awesome and inspiring adrenalin rush that never goes away each time you experience these things with your partner.   BTW - We are really nice people who would love to help you out without the need to ever have sex if necesary ..... YooHooooooo!!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It's the name of the game. In university I learnt that there's an organ in our nose the detects the DNA of other people around us. According to the DNA structure it tells us whether or not we're attacted to that person. I relax then with knowing that it's just luck of the draw, ontop of the complexity of personalities getting along. I guess when we meet with someone else there's a good chance they won't like us, but if they do...we enjoy the ride.

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