F67
Are you a REACHER or a SETTLER?
September 25 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I am attracted to people who match me on a mental level. This means I have to like what they have to say, their sense of humour and their morals. Height and face are a big deal to me, body shape and size not to so much. It does cross my mind that people won't think I look my profile pics. I think my face does, but as I said on a different forum, I AM 40 with the flab, cellulite and spider veins that tend to come with age. I don't settle and like to think I have the confidence to reach. But I don't always. And Nick is waaaaay out of my league.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I don't shoot high or low but someone has to have the whole package for me - scintillating intellect, huge big heart, social conscience, a good sense of fairness, kindness and compassion, confidence and clarity about their life, a rockin' bod, a nice face AND be into generously built old ducks. Oops, maybe I'm a reacher after all!!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
A settler!
-
Beachlover1999
11 years ago
That is me! I recently did a TMS profile for work and I am a 'thruster' always moving forward and trying to achieve (hey you cute boy over here please!!!) new goals without seeing obstacles in my way!!!! It's not that I ooooze self confidence, because I don't particularly......just an opportunist with a positive outlook.........There is a saying from Newcastle, UK where I'm from originally so said in a Geordie accent 'shy bairns get nowt' basically if you don't ask (cute hot guy far to young.....) you won't get anywhere!!!! Lolol ....crawls back into delusional corner.......:)))))
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I feel quite strongly about giving credit to the person whose idea it originally was...plagiarism on sites like this is just too easy and many people have no respect for another's ideas or words.Mr.Wilde and I sadly have never met...actually I always thought he was youand that folks is a longstanding joke between Ms.Mes and I
-
Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
I simply don't believe in "leagues"....as in, "they're out of your league/punch above your weight". It's arrogant to think someone is beyond you, and not give them the opportunity for input in that decision. If I see someone I want to meet, I walk up and meet them. What's the big deal?! Now, I know the responses I'll receive... this topic like most others has been covered before....But that's their reality.... not mine :-)- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
but now you can have a nanna nap
-
RHP User
11 years ago
never thought about it like that ... sounds about right.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Once was a Settler... now Reaching for the stars... 2013 has been the year of big changes.(still occasionally trip over my feet but is a BIG improvement on where I was 12 months ago).
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' It does cross my mind that people won't think I look my profile pics. I think my face does, but as I said on a different forum, I AM 40 with the flab, cellulite and spider veins that tend to come with age. I remember you from the last M&G in Sydney... you do look as stunning in real life as you do in your profile pics (from the bits that I saw).Just saying...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Is finding a Dysmorphic Settler such an unrealistic expectation.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
We are def reachers, :-)- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I won't settle again.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm less than 6 feet tall and I'm less than 6 inches long, so I'm not the greatest Reacher, both outside and inside.Conversely, I'm not a Settler. To use that term, with respect to Freya, and with much more with respect to the Ladies that I've been privileged to share time with, that term could indicate that "I've settled for them". Nothing could be further from the truth !I think I'm a "Pragmatic Realist". I don't send my "5 messages per day allocation" fishing for whomever replies.I send messages to Ladies who entrance me with their brain as much as their body.My current friend's brain ... Wow. Her body ... WOW WOW.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm a settler through and through. Without fail I always notice the hottie in the room, but don't show any interest because of that old saying, "they are out of my league". The perk is the ridiculous flattery you feel when they do express an interest - although sometimes this is because they're dismayed that you're the only one not paying them any attention!I've heard that there's always a settler and a reacher in a relationship - I do wonder what would happen if there were two of both?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'amuse_bouche' I'm a settler through and through. Without fail I always notice the hottie in the room, but don't show any interest because of that old saying, "they are out of my league". The perk is the ridiculous flattery you feel when they do express an interest - although sometimes this is because they're dismayed that you're the only one not paying them any attention!I've heard that there's always a settler and a reacher in a relationship - I do wonder what would happen if there were two of both?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm super cute and super smart, who wouldn't want to be with me??? That's right, RHP has put me in my place :(. But seriously, this comes down to confidence. If I believe I'm worth your time to get to know me I have a better chance of you don't that. If I don't believe I'm worthy of you, neither will you.
-
Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Right But also...... the cliche.... which is true...... you miss 100% of the shots you dont take.DG
-
RHP User
11 years ago
But its conflicting as I can put body language as a reacher if I find someone attractive. I do believe if you have an air of confidence about yourself then you tend to reach out to more people. This is no more apparent when going out dancing. You meet soo many more people on the dance floor.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm confused as to why someone being 'so' self secure would be perceived as being delusional? I know my worth, I know what I bring to the table therefore in that respect I'm incredibly self secure. I gravitate towards people who are like minded in terms of attitude towards life not necessarily with the same interests or passions as mine; I recognise people that have the ability to challenge me on some level mind body and soul. Call me delusional if you will but I refuse to settle for the sake of settling and I refuse to wonder what if period. I'm inclined to take a shot rather than not to not to have tried at all. But that's just me...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I dont hold back and do not consider rejection as a bad thing. Seldom am I completely rejected. Many times I reject them, not out right. Some people have standards that are so impossible to meet I am surprised they ever find anyone. Some people are empty and have no depth of personality, so dull. I engage the mind first, then the sexuality, then the body. People that know me know that and looks are but skin deep. My arrogance helps but you have to get to really know me before you can find that flaw. I love people, I love to learn about them and get to know them.The sexiest thing anyone can possibly possess is a good mind and personality.Yet I do not consider my self absolutely secure, I just know that no one is for every one and to let rejection get to you is a pointless act of self harm that gets you no where.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm not attracted to stereotype beautiful women... Therefore I am not a reacher in that sense. No Barbie dolls, no trophy wife... And certainly not a settler... And it is not a widget on a shelf we are looking for... We are looking at humans beings, and no matter how pretty they can be on the outside it's the inside that will really stop me in my tracks. But if you fall inside my demographic... You are most definitely in clear and present danger :) Hp xo 💌 If you're slightly odd, apply within...
-
Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
She gets it ;-)- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
delusional refers to those who think that they are irresistible..and that is delusional...just ask any woman who has been approached in a bar by a man who just wont take no for an answer.
-
Coops27M
11 years ago
I'm not the greatest looking bloke but i think i'm worthy of the best even if they don't know it yet :)- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
what I am but I don't think of people as targets. I love good conversation more than anything else and talk to anyone and anybody. In saying that, sometimes I am surprised at the people that want to explore further when it didn't dawn on me that they would be interested in doing that with me. I have also been surprised by the ones that have backed away from conversation thinking it is an expression of interest in going further. And strange to say, it is not the hot ones that do this.I am totally outclassed in my relationship - he is crazier, more charming and more interesting than me so maybe I am a reacher - but gotta tell you its exhausting keeping up!
-
Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
I believe that those two choices are just too limiting. There will be varying degrees both within and outside of those fields, and for myself I feel I fall outside of the two. The best word I would think fits me is the typically Taurean "practical". I know I have the intelligence and wisdom to entertain pretty much anyone I could come across, and I am not particularly concerned as to their perceived level of 'attractiveness' compared to the crowd. I will only be wary if I see that if the lady perceives herself to be a 'cut above' to a large degree (otherwise known as being up themselves) and then I would give them a wide berth. The stereotypical ladies from the more affluent suburbs come readily to mind. Tall
-
Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
I believe that those two choices are just too limiting. There will be varying degrees both within and outside of those fields, and for myself I feel I fall outside of the two. The best word I would think fits me is the typically Taurean "practical". I know I have the intelligence and wisdom to entertain pretty much anyone I could come across, and I am not particularly concerned as to their perceived level of 'attractiveness' compared to the crowd. I will only be wary if I see that if the lady perceives herself to be a 'cut above' to a large degree (otherwise known as being up themselves) and then I would give them a wide berth. The stereotypical ladies from the more affluent suburbs come readily to mind. Tall
-
chevtrek
11 years ago
If I fell in love and got love back I would not careand settle but in general I dont set linits and go forgold---LOL...
-
Playful2looking
11 years ago
Hmm interesting I think we go for what we think we can achieve. It is possible too have an over inflated opinion of yourself. you see it at Kareoke nights where people get up to sing.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'lickandsuck123' It is possible too have an over inflated opinion of yourself. you see it at Kareoke nights where people get up to sing. I resemble that remark!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
A reacher or a settler?I'm an equal opportunity opportunist ... I'm a clumsy girl too. I kinda trip and fall on people, hot or not.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
You're messing with a sacred cow there lickandsuck123. :-D
-
On_Safari
11 years ago
Reacher, Settler, Practical (Tall!!! Lol). I believe I'm a Practical Reacher who'll settle someday when I find that which I seek in a relationship. Settling in other areas of my life is highly dubious though since I always seem to be reaching for something, maybe it's cos I'm short? I wholeheartedly agree with beautiful Kiwibred and Mes (who'd have guessed right? 😘). There are many things everyone will find attractive in another, I think confidence is the most attractive trait a person can have alongside, charm, grace, consideration for others and like gorgeous Funlover said, "the belief" that you are deserving of it whatever the "it" is. How does one change their ✨stars if they don't atleast reach for them? ~ It's all in your perspective folks!!
-
Plain
11 years ago
I am clumsy I constantly trip over my tongue and speak, with a touch of tourettes at the worst possible moment and get nowhere fast. Having said that I will always give someone the benefit of the doubt, someone you might not be interested in looks, but after talking you can change your mind and appreciate that person in passion sex appeal etc. I have had a bad experience in reaching in my early years and vowed never to do it again. So I discover more before I settle and often make the other person reach, if I could put it that way.( that sounds conceipted and self delusional by the way but its not meant to be).
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I like conventionally good-looking men and all sorts of women. I'm happy to approach anyone; I don't expect to appeal to them all, but am sufficiently secure to not be devastated by rejection. Lisa
-
Mr_MrsAraps
11 years ago
If I had to place myself somewhere would say I somewhere in between. Definitely wouldn't settle as I know what I like and what I don't like.As for reaching ..... well I do have pretty long arms that do come in handy in certain positions
-
On_Safari
11 years ago
There's a karaoke comp here on the weekend and I passingly thought I'd have a crack at it!! Unrushed when I come down your way you'll sing with me won't you? Lol sacred cow indeed!!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Critiquing someone's karaoke performance is like critiquing their orgasm expression. Self awaeness or self consciousness has no place or part in the equation. Just face it, sometimes it just feels better than it looks or sounds :-)
-
RHP User
11 years ago
And then the spuds fell out of me ears and my vision was cleared and now I know I deserve someone truly wonderful. I live by the motto beauty is as beauty does. And I thought the purpose of karaoke was to give people a laff! Aren't you meant to try and sing like sh*t
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Im a "Cruiser" and take each day/person as it comes.
-
Missb4u
11 years ago
Some days a reacher, some days a settler, some days an opportunist 😳 I think it depends on how I am feeling at the time and how much interest "the profile" has sparked in me. I do approach but not often so it would have to be pretty special for me to have sent a message or a flirt. But I am not crushed by rejection, I am not everyone's type after all. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm definitely a SETTLER :/- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
you said it well.....i agree entirely.....
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I Think It Has a lot To Do With The Person On The Other Side Of The Fence .... I Like To Think Of My Self As Kind , Caring , Intelligent , Good Looking And Often Put The "other" First . Im Not Full Of Myself But I Do Beleve I Should Reach ? But It Seems I May Be Out Of My league When I Dont Even Get A Reply Or noticed ... Or Is That Just The Way society's Becoming " Rude" ??? I Was At The Pub The Other Night Where I Saw A Lady sitting By Her Self So I Decided That I Would Go And Talk To Her Were Chatting Away And On An intellectual Level I Found Her Very Attractive (nothing To Do With Her Looks ) So We Were Chatting For A Good 45 Mins When My Mates Decided To Come Find Me And Her friends Returned From The Dance Floor. The Group Of Girls That She Was With And My Mates Started Chatting And There Was Alot Of Cross conversation And It Was noisy . So I Decided To End Our Conversation There By Handing Her A business Card discreetly So She Could Contact Me If She Liked Or Not Her Choice . Now This Is Where It Pissed Me Off .... She Decided To Be Ubrupt About The Car And Brought The Table To A Hush Then Went On Ripping Into Me About How I Must Be Soooo Good To Have A business Card And Why Was I Giving It To Her ... It Was actually Pretty embarrassing When I Gave It To Her It Was To Be Descreet ? Now I Beleve On A Scale Of One To 10 If I Was A Ten ... Not Saying That I Am A 10 But For Referance I Beleve She Would Have Been A 5 Or 6 ? So if Girls Want To Reach Why Do They Think That They Can Be A Bitch About It ? Not Saying All Of Them Do But Just A majority Of Them .. Im Guessing This Is The Same For Guys . It Tends To Be The Younger generation That Im In? Or Am I Just Out Of practice ? Has Anyone Else Had This experience? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
for a settler...and sometimes I settle for a Reacher...Somedays my mood takes me where no man has been before...and I REACH like crazy...and somedays I just reach a little...And occasionally I just settle (petal)...S'nP
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I would never meet anyone without them seeing my pics first as I'd hate to see that slight flicker of disappointment cross their face- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Indy and Unrushed, The Sacred Cow says... when next visiting Sydney and available on a Friday night we should congregate at the Robin Hood... Karaoke night is awesome fun at the Hood.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' delusional refers to those who think that they are irresistible..and that is delusional.For the explaination, I now understand what my friends mean.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm def a reacher batting well above my average lol, but we fell in love and I'm so glad I made the first contAct.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
always nice to have friends you can trust
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I tend to reach out with one hand whilst still firmly gripping the veranda rail of my settler's cottage with the other. (and speaking of delusional, just where IS Nick? Havn't heard from him/her/them for a while!). Obi1
-
RHP User
11 years ago
couldnt care less
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Sounds like a plan! To answer the OP's question, I reach until I find what I am looking for, then settle in quite nicely :-)
-
RHP User
11 years ago
As a couple , we contact people and have played with couples who we agree are about the same as us in looks .. so there is no funny feelings either way and in the end of day -- its got to be mutaul attraction between all for play
-
him_and_me
11 years ago
Quoting Unrushed Sacred Cows Critiquing someone's karaoke performance is like critiquing their orgasm expression. Self awaeness or self consciousness has no place or part in the equation. Just face it, sometimes it just feels better than it looks or sounds :-) That may be true, but the difference is that most people don't orgasm on a stage in front of dozens of other people!! I love singing, but I know I sound crap so I'd never get up and do it in front of music lovers (at least not sober!)
-
him_and_me
11 years ago
That was meant to be two paragraphs! Why does that happen?!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Your hands might have gotten a bit shaky picturing my orgasm face?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quote: Mesmerised. "It does cross my mind that people won't think I look my profile pics. I think my face does, but as I said on a different forum, I AM 40 with the flab, cellulite and spider veins that tend to come with age." After reading your comment, I was drawn to check your profile. Mes, you should have plenty of confidence, you are a very attractive lady, and what guy doesn't like a few curves. I hope you don't mind me saying- Posted from rhpmobile
-
On_Safari
11 years ago
Ok I heard some say the next Sydney meet n greet is the 11th of January. Any chance of moving it to the 18th? Roadtrip PaintMe I can be there on the 18th before flying away for me holiday luvs.... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Sometimes its just a silent smile, other times you might think its a good idea to call an ambulance or the men in their clean white coats :-D
-
RHP User
11 years ago
a Settler than a Reacher.......still sometimes I jump and I am very scared....actually shits scared of my own bravery
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'mrsuperjabs' Mes, you should have plenty of confidence, you are a very attractive lady, and what guy doesn't like a few curves. I hope you don't mind me saying Thanks you very much, and hellooooo! . But you've only seen the pics, not me naked and at my most vulnerable.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share