M49

Are you a lying, duplicitous parent?

May 23 2011

So I steered another forum topic on a tangent and it made me think I'd spread the question to a wider demographic. . When it comes to lying to your children.. how far are you willing to go to facilitate your swinging lifestyle? . It's fairly well accepted that swinging, sex-parties, polyamory, fwb and fuckbuddies are considered an 'alternative sexual lifestyle' by most of the mainstream and that most people here keep that part of their private life private. . It's also fairly well accepted that to facilitate that 'other life', most people come up with a bit of a story, a 'second life'. If your hobby is darts (as embarrassing as that is) you can still just say "I am off to play darts". . So if you have children, children old enough to at least ask where you are off to, are you building an elaborate lie to feed your kids to cover up your lifestyle? And at what point is that debilitating to your relationship with them. How different is it to lying to your partner when you are cheating? How would they feel if they found out you built up this lie? Should you just play darts?

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RHP User

14 years ago

I do it so i don't have to lie to them, they spend every second weekend with their Dad, which is 3 hrs away, what I do when they aren't home doesn't even come up I only play on these weekends, and never mid week or with them anywhere near. Also never with anyone too local should that can of worms ever be opened gawd forbid. I'd never want to embarass them for the sake of me getting my rocks off, if that's the case I'll go without. Fuck I did it for most of my marriage, I'm a fucking sex camel I can go for ages without a drink of water. Did that answer your question? cos I lie chronically about other stuff to them, you know like the Easter Bunny and Santa and even the tooth fairy is a lazy bitch these days, it has to go in a glass on the bench, cos her wings will break lifting their big boof heads to get under the pillow

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RHP User

14 years ago

We've never played when the kids have been home, but have been "out visiting friends" from time to time. We did get sprung on here once and asked why we had called ourselves orallyaddicted. They were naive enough to accept our story when that it was because we talked so much......however, the eldest one is now 19 and is getting "experimental" and we recently came clean about our views on swinging, as she was flirting with one of the couple we play with! (they are nearer her age than ours, but it's still a bit wierd...lol). We have no intention of telling her which of our other friends we have fun with though - I think that will only come up on a "need to know" basis.. Hopefully the other child won't start asking awkward questions for a few more years yet though!

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RHP User

14 years ago

I am careful to furnish them with age appropriate information . Its very rare (almost never) that i have a date or meeting in the middle of the week,When and if i ever do i tell my younger ones,that mummy is going on a date. I never invite dates to my home while my younger children are here.My older ones (18 and 20) know what i am up to(minus the gory details) and where i am going.I have always been and will always continue to be honest and open with them in reguards to their questions about sex when they reach an appropriate age and begin asking questions.

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RHP User

14 years ago

Quoting 'dontgothere' Fuck I did it for most of my marriage, I'm a fucking sex camel I can go for ages without a drink of water.I saw a doco once... it wasn't amusing at the time... but the next time I see it I reckon when those camels are guzzling water like it's going out of fashion I'll have a naughty smirk on my face..

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RHP User

14 years ago

It's thirsty work alright

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RHP User

14 years ago

Ours are too little to have any concept just now...I guess we'll cross that bridge as and when we get to it. Jak Xx

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RHP User

14 years ago

And my mob are apparently smart enough not to ask a question they'd prefer not to hear the answer to. They're also old enough to find out for themselves what it's all about, so I don't want to interfere. Hugs Stalky

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RHP User

14 years ago

I look Focus straight in the eye ( I gotta stand on top step cause she is a little taller than I am ) And lie through my teeth. I am only here for the forums....Honest.....would I lie to you? and naturally she just laughs at me. l I have a ten year old son and he knows I am on this site. He can crack most computer passwords and nothing on the net is safe from him.....if he wants to know. Being a curious and horrible little feral child that he is, grotty little boy, I sprung him with his own RHP profile when he was nine. He just was not smart enough for Mummy. Little fraudster! Rest assured that the profile has been closed down and I regularly patrol the members to check for ten year old boys in disguise! I do not have men over when he is home. I also have a house full of fosterkids so I am always very very careful who gets invited to my home in the normal course of the day. The teenagers know what I am up to...teenagers are not stupid. I get respite for my foster kids and my ten year old goes to my stepdaughter, his big sister, while I race off to where ever for a week or an extended weekend without kids. I dont openly discuss what I do or whom I spend time with but it is not avoided either. I do tell my child that I have dinner with friends but certainly not what the rest of the night may entail. But he knows....I know that he does...he just pretends not to. Funnily enough, my eldest boy is 32 and no way in this wide world would I tell HIM I was on here. He is a prude! Thank God Focus moved to Sydney and gave me a convienient excuse to go there often. l l All of those parents out there with kids who are ten and over and think they dont know....Ha! Think again. More than likely they are being an ostrich.

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RHP User

14 years ago

Quoting 'stalky'And my mob are apparently smart enough not to ask a question they'd prefer not to hear the answer to. They're also old enough to find out for themselves what it's all about, so I don't want to interfere. Hugs Stalky So you drop a bit of a hint that makes them squirm and go eeewww.. Then you follow it up with a 'oh that's nothing.... this one time... at band camp..." And whamoo - they've left the room and will never ever ask or even try to imagine why those blue undies aren't sitting straight. Nice

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RHP User

14 years ago

That's closer to the truth than you realise Jean. You should have seen them squirming in their seats when I tried to explain how I scared off the two pretty Mormon girls who knocked on my door last week. :p Hugs Stalky

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N4November

14 years ago

From each post, I have conducted myself pretty much the same. For example, I have never had a playdate while the children are in the house. If my folks are actually around to have the kids, I will tell them I going on a date. Its healthy that they know that their mother has a life and interests outside the home. When the kids return from their dad's (who only has them every 3rd weekend grrrrr) - I tell them I need a holiday to get over my weekend because I'm exhausted!! And I'm not lying to them then!!!! hahahah . Interestingly, I spoke to a girlfriend of mine the other day who told me that both her teenage daughters had discovered her sexual activities and had moved in with their father with disgust. She is devastated. How to explain to them that her partner accepts her choices and that she is not a promiscuious whore that they now say she is. I wonder how other mothers in particular have handled this situation when their teenage kids discovered the sordid details of an open/swinging marriage. . But from my own perspective, and you can point your finger and tell me I'm a judgemental bitch, but it makes me SICK TO THE STOMACH the amount of couples I know that will conduct playdates with children in the house. Ok, if it is a baby in a cot - well heh - some rules could be broken! But if those kids are old enough to walk and talk - how do they accept the risk that it is highly possible one of their children busts them at it?!! I'm pretty sure that if I saw something like that as a child, its not something that you would ever forget..... It pisses me off and think those parents who put their own sexual needs before their own children interests are fucked. I don't think there's any excuse for this type of behaviour. . >>OK, I'll step down from my soapbox now...

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RHP User

14 years ago

Quoting 'baygirl2315' . . . it makes me SICK TO THE STOMACH the amount of couples I know that will conduct playdates with children in the house. Ok, if it is a baby in a cot - well heh - some rules could be broken! But if those kids are old enough to walk and talk - how do they accept the risk that it is highly possible one of their children busts them at it?!! I'm pretty sure that if I saw something like that as a child, its not something that you would ever forget..... It pisses me off and think those parents who put their own sexual needs before their own children interests are fucked. I don't think there's any excuse for this type of behaviour. .I fail to understand how they can relax enough to enjoy themselves with the kids in the house

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RHP User

14 years ago

Quoting 'baygirl2315' it makes me SICK TO THE STOMACH the amount of couples I know that will conduct playdates with children in the house. Ok, if it is a baby in a cot - well heh - some rules could be broken! But if those kids are old enough to walk and talk - how do they accept the risk that it is highly possible one of their children busts them at it?!! We could not agree more its a deal breaker we will move on, dont want to play / know couples that do that!

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RHP User

14 years ago

well my daughter was living at home it just got to hard to explain So i told her she was over 18 made it earsier when i was getting dress and guys comming to pick me up In the end she use to tell me to be careful and not come home to late lol Oh how the winds have changed hahaha

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RHP User

14 years ago

Quoting 'kissmetenderly' well my daughter was living at home it just got to hard to explain So i told her she was over 18 made it earsier when i was getting dress and guys comming to pick me up In the end she use to tell me to be careful and not come home to late lol Oh how the winds have changed hahaha I just tell mine to be careful....oh and not to do anythign I wouldnt....lol... . Kisses Focus

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RHP User

14 years ago

Quoting 'fionabee' Funnily enough, my eldest boy is 32 and no way in this wide world would I tell HIM I was on here. He is a prude! Thank God Focus moved to Sydney and gave me a convienient excuse to go there often. l lHahahaha he is disgusted that I internet date - sheesh what would he say if he knew we both do..... Sorry JG - couldnt resist I willk stay away now as I am not a parent and thus not lieing to anyone about what I am doing here. . Kisses Focus

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RHP User

14 years ago

There are some things I won't tell them, but as far as this site is concerned, it's moot point. I've yet to meet anyone from here, and I'm not really what anyone could call a swinger, or into polygamous relationships. Like I said in another topic, if it came to that, a simple "Daddy's going out" is sufficient.

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jandv

14 years ago

This show is so funny, especially with the swinger parents. Anyone seen this show? Funny.

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Are you a lying, duplicitous parent?

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