M50 F46

Ask me on the night. BI, Bi Curious and Experimental?

August 12 2009

I just need something defined here. My partner and I have both got experimental on our profiles. We have both played in the past, she more so. Interestingly couples we have met have urged me to change my status to straight. While the idea of my partners sexuality has been thoroughly encouraged. Anyway that's an aside, the reason I write is this. What should we put as our sexuality - We are not bi sexual as neither of us could see ourselves in a relationship with someone of the same sex. We are not curious as we have both sated our urges, and yielded to temptation in the past. But then we aren't experimental. To us experimental is a couple of teenagers learning about their bodies and experimenting on how many bases they can get too (sorry to use an American phrase)We both know what we want, we don't want uber aggressive females jumping on Sal and for me it would depend on how altered my state of mind would be. I've had chances but I've never been that horny to actually do anything other than abit of touching of the .. well. you know... he's thingo. Is there another option I guess we could just put 'ask me' but i think what it should say is 'ask me on the night'

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RHP User

15 years ago

with all the questions re: sexuality in the forums, and the different ways we all have of viewing sexuality, "ask me on the night", makes wonderful sense.There's a thread under Hot Topics called 'Suggestions for the RHP website' where your suggestion could really fit in, make it easier for RHP to keep up with what we're all asking for lol.HugsMrsP

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tripod8barbie

15 years ago

What a great point you bring up and we both have Curious up on our profile because there hasn't been an option that really does suit. Like you neither of us would class ourselves as bi as we would never want to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex. Neither of us go out looking specifically for someone of the same sex to play with, it but on occasion when it feels right and the right chemistry is there, then we are both comfortable enough in our sexuality and our relationship to explore the bi side of ourselves. I much like Sal find pushy women (or men for that matter) not attractive and would tend to let them know I'm straight if only to stop the advances. For some reason people feel the need to put a label on everything and we have found that if you say "I'm Curious" to some they will feel the need to argue that if you have ever played with someone of the same sex and enjoyed then you are most definately BI. Or more importantly, for some reason SOME people think if you are BI then you want to play with all other Same Sex people out there....ummm how does that work? Straight, Bi-Curious, BI, Gay or Lesbian we all have choices and tastes (Guys ...just cause another guy is BI ...doesn't mean he wants to look at you or touch you...don't kid yourself ...you probably are not his type lol) Hence I don't like to use either the word BI or BI Curious. If we must use a label at all I would choose to say I'm Hetro Flexible and people can take what they want from that.

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RHP User

15 years ago

I partly understand what you're saying but also, to me, i think you're confused by the choices. To me you'd probably be Experimental! Of course being adults its not meaning experimenting your bodies like teenages, its experimenting your sexuality!! Ask me on the night would probably deter people as if you'd say NO on the night, they'd probably think, well, i dont meet their standards and its a bit of a put down.I'm Bi sexual and, i'm also married. My sexuality as Bi Sexual is not to say i want a relationship with other girls, its saying i enjoy being with girls and playing with them all the way!So to me you would both be 'Experimental' OR you could classify yourselves as Bi Curious also! Thats basically stating your have urges, fantasies, of the same sex but are still experiementing and or curious about them! That way you're not expected to play with the same sex on the night, only if you say so or inetiate contact first!I hope thats not too confusing for you LOLxx

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HotOzCouple_cc

15 years ago

You've absolutely nailed it. We felt like we were reading a post we made in that it's exactly the way we feel.Perhaps "Take it as it comes"... Maybe RHP should have profile guidelines, where it is defined to the RHP world what each choice means.That doesn't mean that it's the be all and end all, it just means there's a bit of clarification.We don't like the term 'ask me'. We've found that's for someone that's hiding something and can make excuses on the run depending on the situation/approach."Will play with same sex"Maybe it's not up to RHP, maybe it's up to us as individuals to state it in our profile instead of relying in a single word to define us?Damn labels, making life hard for everyone!!

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RHP User

15 years ago

OPEN TO ANYTHING

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RHP User

15 years ago

The thing is, I am not confused, I know all to well what I do and do not like. Experimental is the best of a bad bunch when it comes to the options given, but as you say HotOz, perhaps it is up to us to state in our profile our own definition. We have talked of doing this. We had one person suggest to us Bi Casual...I quite like the sound of that...It was suggested to us by someone who felt it better to message us than post to an open forum for fear of being judged. We have come accross that ourselves. It is amazing the times we have been told Andy should not have experimental on his profile, or the number of males that state they are staight but turn out to be experimental after the feel comfortable enough to admit it. Funny how we all are open minded enough to do what we do but not to let people be what they want to be.

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HotOzCouple_cc

15 years ago

What a great term!!!"Open to anything" is an option in the participation category, but not in the orientation. RHP - There's another suggestion for you......

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RHP User

15 years ago

Define straight, a person who is only into the opposite sex. Define experimental, a person who is willing to learn and eccept new sexuall experiances with out being offended. Define bi curious, a person who is curious about the opposite sex, but not sure about it, but willing to give it a little bit of a go. Define bi, a person who is past curious and is able to sexually experiment with female and male with out being offended and doe's not wake up in the morning and say, what have i done. Just put on your profile that you are straight and if you meet people you like and they have stated they are curious or bi then tell them. but not on the night, right in the middle of things as it tend's to make it all sticky. Talk to people befor hand, work out what it is you are looking for and vice versa.

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RHP User

15 years ago

Ha I never post but having one of those days..I guess I'm Forum-Curious?? Oh the cause of all this is pretty obvious. It's cool for a girl to be bi and even if in another couple the girl isn't bi then she'll usually be ok in stating this and the choice can be made. There are not too many homophobic women out there. BUT there are a lot of completely homophobic men and the thought of playing around in a situation where there's another naked guy there that might be longing to play with them freaks them out. So it's a hard one, if you're essentially straight but open to go with the flow you could cut out a potential couple by saying you're bi/curious or experimental. Solution?

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RHP User

15 years ago

Well said back support, we agree with you entirely. Its all too easy and fun for all following your definations and talking before any dates are made!

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Ask me on the night. BI, Bi Curious and Experimental?

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