M43

Asking out strangers...

May 15 2017

Sorry to go back to dating 101, but I'd like some opinions. For me, I only like to ask out* women that I have managed to talk to on more than one occasion. This way, I guess I can build some sort of rapport with them, or at least show that I am friendly and talkative and non-threatening. (And sometimes I will find out if they are single through conversation/s). Obviously on many other occasions, you might only happen to come across someone once, and only for a few brief moments (who knows when or if you might encounter them again?). But asking them out after what might only be seconds, would make me feel like you are asking them solely because they just happen to be there, and not because you know the first thing about them. Women, (that are single now or from previous experience) what do you prefer? Are you happy to be asked out by a stranger, more or less straight up, or do you want some repeated conversation so when they ask they are much less a stranger? And if you work in a public field (cafe, retail etc), how often do you actually get approached? It is lots that you get sick of it, or actually less often than one might expect? If you are actually single, what dictates whether you say yes, no, or call security? :P * Ask out means in this context, essentially a coffee catch up or equivalent.

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RHP User

8 years ago

...with interest. I grapple with this very thing. Its agonising actually. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

Last weekend, weekend before actually, both at the same time lol funniest situation, can't expand too much with detail. I'm a little different to most, conversation is let's say very open, I'm very sexual and need to get that out there straight up, chemistry and attraction yep tick that box, then seriously turn each other on with the conversation 😊 it's amazing, I love losing all the fussiness of dating and getting down to what it is we both want to be doing and I am good at relaxing and making them relaxed so it's like we've been friends prior, completely comfortable with each other, just with a little heat. The one problem I have is forgetting not everyone is into caring and sharing and I think I offended one because of the presence of the other, although he was still keen, was asking about the other guy, probably perfectly normal in RL but that made me step back a bit because I'm not used to RL stuff. For me though, I would have done both of them together 😜 I did go for coffee with one, after that is.......😉 the other, I'm on a promise for a massage, I haven't had time to meet him, though I hope he's not reading this, if you are, I'm still here, still interested and hope you are 😉 I'm a bad bad girl 😛 One thing I'll add CT, more in relation to your situation, I think you'll find chicks aren't hit up as much as you think they are, regardless though, why worry about that? I hate that guys are frightened to approach, nothing to lose and everything to gain 👍

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Eiliethiya

8 years ago

I'd feel flattered that someone feels a short meeting or conversation makes them find me attractive enough to ask out.They are seeing me/my personality in person so it feels different to me than on a 'dating site'. Online is different. It feels like a rush, not wanting to know anything about me, and most likely just to get sex.

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RHP User

8 years ago

...''Dating Naked'' has gained some ground, I'm more relaxed out in public asking a stranger out. I'm still a little uneasy with dropping my gear right there in the bistro and asking a fine looking lady if she has plans for the rest of the afternoon but what the hell. Always carry spare cash if you try this...bail can be a bugger!

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RHP User

8 years ago

Quoting 'ChasinMidnight' ...''Dating Naked'' has gained some ground, I'm more relaxed out in public asking a stranger out. I'm still a little uneasy with dropping my gear right there in the bistro and asking a fine looking lady if she has plans for the rest of the afternoon but what the hell. Always carry spare cash if you try this...bail can be a bugger! of a one time local watering hole which had skimpy waitresses on for a few hours of the later days of the working week. There was a girl from NZ who was able to pick up banknotes from the bar room floor using only her butt cheeks! (She initiated and won several bets doing the splits).

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nibblemebi

8 years ago

To steal a slogan. .. Just. Do. It. Carpe diem and all that, what have you really got to lose? As long as you're respectful and not sleazy in your approach, you're going to at the very least flatter a woman and make her smile. At best you have a nice coffee and chat. At very best you could score the woman of your dreams. Life's too short to wonder what if. I get flirted with daily, asked out a bit less because I think guys are maybe scared of rejection? Not sure but the defining factor is obviously a mutual attraction and go from there ☺ Go on, I dare you! - Posted from rhpmobile

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Sawadee

8 years ago

Most the time I'm a impulsive type of guy ,but when it comes to asking for a date . I need to get a feel for who they are first and wether I think it's going to be worthwhile ,and I don't mean sex, even though it goes with the territory. ATM I'm toying with this very situation, through my business I get to see this particular girl quite often.. Her body language and eyes tell me one thing while her shyness tells me another and I don't want to spoil a good thing. ? So I'll wait and see what happens.. On the other hand , there's another much more forward. When I see her ( work ) she nearly always takes my hands and gazes straight into my eyes while we chat.. But as much as I like her I don't feel the same way, and that holds me back... I have acted impulsively before and had a great time.. So it gets back to how you feel at the time..

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RHP User

8 years ago

Quoting 'ontology'There was a girl from NZ who was able to pick up banknotes from the bar room floor using only her butt cheeks! ...could she make proper change? I'm not cheap but I do want my bill balance...or extra oysters. Best......... CM

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RHP User

8 years ago

If you have chatted to someone for awhile and you seem to be getting on I don't see any harm in asking them out on a date. For me personally, I don't need to have more than one conversation with someone to know whether I would like to see them again. On a few occasions I have had men stop me in the street and once on the train to say that they think I am beautiful and they would love to take me out. This is followed with a piece of paper with their number on it in my experience. It has also happened to a few of my friends and although it's hugely flattering I have only known one girlfriend who has used the number. Personally, that quick minute of chatting is too quick and all you have to go on is their looks and unfortunately contacting them usually means they end up with your contact number. Well, I suppose you could use a landline. 🤔

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RHP User

8 years ago

You're taken or should I attempt to flirt and try my luck? 🤔 - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

I have frequented a few local coffee shops and built rapport with a few women who serve. I have been very tempted to ask a couple of them out but tend to balk as I would not want to upset the lovely coffee connection we have. Hard work out in the world for males. Funny to me the one old fashioned value that the feminist movement chose to keep, most likely for their benefit lol. Men asking the women out. Cheers

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RHP User

8 years ago

Quoting 'ChasinMidnight' Quoting 'ontology'There was a girl from NZ who was able to pick up banknotes from the bar room floor using only her butt cheeks! ...could she make proper change? I'm not cheap but I do want my bill balance...or extra oysters. Best......... CM and there was another girl who took the US Silver Half Dollar (that I used as a marker for my upcoming game on the pool table) and dropped it down her G-string and offered no opportunity to retrieve it or win it back : (

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RHP User

8 years ago

Not true. I have done the asking many times. And I know a lot of my girlfriends have too. Life is short so why not enjoy and go for it.

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RHP User

8 years ago

There is nothing to lose, just do it It shows a women that she is desired, and as long as you just offer your number the choice is completely up to them. Maybe you meet the women for your lifetime only once and it would have been a waste if you didn't, hell I've asked a girl for a date who was in front of me in the queue at a grocery shop.

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RHP User

8 years ago

Be brave,take a chance.What is the worst thing that can happen? It's usually not the things we do that we regret,it's the things we didn't do. Q

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nibblemebi

8 years ago

Haha @ Fit Geek!! As you've probably seen I'm only seeking friends at the moment... but flirting is pretty harmless 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

What would you say is your success rate when asking? How many say yes to a date, how many answer that they aren't single? For me, I've probably asked about 20 people (from RL exclusively). But I'd say 8 or 9 out of 10 have told me they were not available, after I'd asked them out (not including those found to be taken through talking, who I obviously didn't ask out). I often chat about their life, then their weekend, and if they say something like "well my partner and I...", I have my answer :) Thus the question on whether those working or frequenting the public space more than most would have had more regularity of people asking them, and thus more likely to already be dating etc? I did ask someone out just a week or so ago, in a shop I deliver to. She laughed and said her boyfriend might not appreciate it so much :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

8 years ago

Shit I'm shopping at your supermarket now 😎 The checkout queue, vegie section, either is fine with me 😊

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soretongue

8 years ago

Not sure a landline is the way to go (stalker alert). Perhaps a "burner" phone/ easily disposable? Although, I'm jk, that wouldn't b nice for the other person..n now I regret mentioning it..🤔😕 Good on you Countrytouch for having the guts to ask someone! 👍 I'm similar in that I prefer to build a rapport/ have a few conversations first. I work in retail and constantly wonder to myself, if female customers know that we're checking them out? subtly of course 😉 n I'm sure/ assume the female staff check out guys vice versa..probably way more often 😛

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RHP User

8 years ago

I don't currently work in a public area, though have in the past, so I can't comment too much on that. BUT, I would love to be asked out, even if I am not interested, it would be very flattering :) Suffice to say, I am never approached in RL, maybe I have a terrifying resting bitch face hahahaha On the other hand, for those of you that are like me and married (or partnered), but open to play, how would you broach that in the outside world? I am never sure what to say, as I have had very mixed reactions to the few I have discussed it with. I have had everything from being told my husband is trying to get rid of me, outright shock and disdain to long term friends literally ghosting me! :(

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On_Safari

8 years ago

Quoting 'xxticklishxx' Not true. I have done the asking many times. And I know a lot of my girlfriends have too. Life is short so why not enjoy and go for it. And I've made that utterly clear to them before going forward just to PROVE that people WILL meet them, even just for a chat and a laugh. Mind you a couple of them I made sure had left and weren't lurking in the carpark waiting for me after the meeting....you know 'cos safety first, last and always ~ Indy PS. It does get boring though when all they wanna chat about is sex, how god they are and what you're missing out on and who they fucked or wanted to last week....or who you did. So I don't bother anymore.....oh and mentioning Chocky Desire would come along to meet and chat when they've said they're up for the social element usually sorts the shit out too. haha

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RHP User

8 years ago

You're talking about strangers that asked you out? @success: If success means having a good time: yes :)

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