M43

Asking someone out in person: How often?

October 28 2018

After a recent discussion with friends, I thought I'd pose the following questions here: This is about random strangers and other people you meet, pass by and connect with IN PERSON ONLY, and particularly for singles. This is random social or work encounters, not like asking at a RHP social event. 1. How often do you ask someone out? That is, actually asking someone to go out (coffee, drinks etc), or asking for a phone number etc? (Not including flirting and small talk that doesn't lead to this). 2. How often are you asked out by someone (or asked for a phone number etc)? 3. Out of how many times you ask, how many have said yes (or given phone number etc)? 4. Out of how many times you have been asked, how many times have you said yes to someone (or given phone number etc)? 5. How often do you find out someone is not single or not available through conversation, that you might have otherwise asked directly? 6. Are you happy asking or being asked on the first encounter (even in a 5 min chat), or if you know where to find each other, do you prefer more than one conversation first? Does it matter?

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MsSuperFoxy

6 years ago

1. If I am attracted, then yes I will. 2. All the time 3. All 4. Depends. 5. Never happened so far 6. Yes, I am happy being asked out. Ms Foxy

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Eiliethiya

6 years ago

I don't do the asking...ever. That's just me and my own warped insecurities though. I haven't ever been directly asked out, or asked for my number in a face-to-face, in person situation.But I have had 2 customers from my workplace, and someone from another company (similar to mine) find me on Facebook and message me to ask me out. I said no in all cases. Because 2 were in their early 20's (way too young for me anyway), and one was a real creeper. Never found out someone is not single through questioning...because I don't do any asking lol If it's not done in a creepy or sleazy way, then yes I'm happy to be asked out. I find it flattering to be shown interest.

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EarthQueen

6 years ago

My answers are based on the fact that I have only been single the last three years of my life and during that time have only been dating on and off for about a year. I have lots of breaks from seeing people or choosing to go on dates. 1. If I ever hit on a man invariably he is married so I have never asked a man out. 2. Not much lately. My mojo has been low all year. I think you attract what you put out so I'm not surprised.3. See question 14. Maybe four times? But I can't really remember. I mostly meet people online TBH 5. Most of the time6. Yes I don't mind. If there's a good energy between us it wouldn't matter.

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RHP User

6 years ago

...as the view from down here is looking up, albeit someone is bound to pop in between us I'll have memories to share that will last a lifetime! 1. I asked out one of the staff at a place that I visit on an irregular regular basis...it actually worked and I think part of my good fortune was that I called her by her real name instead of the anglo-resized shortcut. Nothing flash but I did enjoy the company and we got a laugh out of both of us trying to change over Portuguese and Spanish whilst remaining sobererer. Her English was pretty good for a native Brazilian and her French was even better! 2. Hell, I'll try anything at least once and more if there's a glimmer of hope? I've run into a lovely Irish lass at my local pharmacist more than a few times so finally just handed her two cards I've made up for one of my recreational passions on it along with my details? She asked why two cards so go for broke and simply ask her to write her full name and number out on the back then return it? Must have been the fur and feathers reference but we have talked a couple of times so not a total waste of those cards in my wallet! 3. I'll take take the fifth both in the bottle and constitutionally back in the good 'ol USA? My strike rate is pretty good all things considered but never forget that I'm not above begging...even in public and especially in pubic! Two more shots of scotch and I might confess...or not! 4. Surely you jest, my friend? No is generally not in my vocabulary, at least in person and I do try avoid being rude. That said, my poor old dear sweet grandmother has died six times and my father only twice. Grieving can be a contumaciously lengthy process and moreso when the dearly recitative departed live overseas and I've been in emotional shambles. I did promise to call them later but later than what is an entirely different question. The first full moon after the Marx landing mission may be on the table! 5. I usually make the assumption that a yes of any kind is at least a Pavlovian signal? Usually the offer to introduce me their 6'6'" tall friend whose on the SWAT team is enough. That said, I also carry a water bottle at all times to rinse the Capsicum Spray out of my eyes in a hurry. That's dangerous...where to they buy that stuff? 6. I used to keep and office at the Rialto and honest to short little see-through dress in the summer and air conditioned buildings...I say hello when the door closed if there was a margin of hope and we were heading to ground level. Turns out it was a waste of time in an express elevator to make a good impression if she was only going down five floors instead of going down .. you finish this one! I guess besides an ample exhibition of a reasonable semblance of the truth the precis dissertation to the jury that will judge this is pretty simple? There really is no formula for guaranteed success or failure ... there really is only the fail to try and not having a sense of humor about it all. CM...who will glance upward at the Foxy one for the last time and tell everyone she ain't wearin' any then pray that she tosses back my card with her number on the back! Do it, please...don't make me beg!

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RHP User

6 years ago

EQ, Eliethiva and the Fox are now all above me? I can now tell you that when you go and die then sneak in a back door to heaven in will look just like this! Ladies...what are any or all of you doing next weekend?

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RHP User

6 years ago

I have never been asked out in person. I was in a relationship for over 27 years so I was a teenager the last time someone asked me out. Every one I eye up when I'm out is attached. I know that because moments after spotting them their partner comes along. Maybe I have resting bitch face lol. I'll happily chat to anyone and would go on a date if there was a connection. - Posted from rhpmobile

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Dryphuz

6 years ago

Depressing answers from me as always, but nonetheless here they are. 1. I haven't since high school, so about 20 years. Even then i can count the total on one hand, so that averages out to a bit over once a decade. 2. Well that's happened exactly 3 times in my life, so a bit less than once a decade. 3. 0 4.2 of 3 times asked. ! was a mistake, 2 was the no i sometimes regret, 3 was a good long meaningful relationship. 5. Never. But i'll explain why that is after i answer 6. 6. One conversation may be fine so long as i get a good feeling about it. A bit of physical attraction and conversation that is free flowing are good indicators. If I'm asked after 5 minutes and i don't yet know how i feel then i'll say yes and use the first date/catch-up to test the waters a bit more. Since it doesn't happen i cant give actual figures. My relationships always seem to simply materialise out of the aethyr. We just end up in the same geographical vicinity often enough that someone eventually kisses someone and things naturally evolve from there. I've never developed the tolerance to rejection to employ either the carpet bombing strategy or the focused attack. Instead i use the sidle method. You both sidle sideways towards each other over an extended period until one day you look down and realise you're holding hands. Metaphorically speaking of course.

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nightingale8

6 years ago

Even if I'm not interested I enjoy being asked. Honestly I wish more people would in person, as long as it's respectful. Hot tradesman fantasy, yes please 😁 Was in the city recently after some drinks and a young guy approached me and asked for my number. I was feeling spontaneous. Then he went in for a kiss! He called me a week later and I declined on that basis alone. Otherwise I might have gotten to know him for the thrill. I've never asked anyone out. I'd considered a colleague at work. The interest seems to be mutual but have been waiting for the work relationship to end! Looks like I'll be waiting a long time... - Posted from rhpmobile

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Mischeviouslad

6 years ago

I don’t make such a big deal out of it If I see someone interesting, I’ll walk over and talk to them and find out if their personality is as interesting to me as their appearance We tend to complicate the “hello” side of things due to our own insecurities, and that’s such an unfortunate handbrake upon us all. How to approach, what to say, how to say it, how to act..... don’t get caught inside your head...... just start with the ONLY line you’ll ever need.... Hello 😎

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MsSuperFoxy

6 years ago

This morning, i was out and about in the community and twice I was hit on for my number. 1st from auto electrician, 2nd one at Bunnings. I wasn't even looking my best (wearing gym wear). Actually, the 1st one rang me as I was in Bunnings and had just finished talking to the one in bunnings. 😎😇 Ms Foxy

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RHP User

6 years ago

I would say that I cant remember when I was asked out last. Maybe 3yrs ago. Been on here 6yrs since divorced. Not sure why men smile at me but never approach.. Dont have a resting bitch face or anything. But to be honest how would I ever explain RHP to a vanillla date. - Posted from rhpmobile

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nightingale8

6 years ago

Must have a good energy about you 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

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nightingale8

6 years ago

Take that as assumed - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

6 years ago

...and often just takes a bit of humor? Ask one of the lovely ladies that works in your local pharmacy about condoms. The next question when you ask for "the larger ones" should be simple. Do you have a fitting room here where I can try one on? Yes I have and yes it does. Try it!

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MsSuperFoxy

6 years ago

Nawww Thank you. I'm not sure what it is either. I just be myself. Ms Foxy x

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Seachange

6 years ago

I do get approached by strangers , of various ages and both genders just for conversation as I think I have a warm smiling disposition. So I have been told. Kids warm up to me easily. Now wrt being asked out by strangers, not always. Who in reality does? 😎 But I occasionally do get asked. On the street, on way to work, at a bar,, Bunnings or supermarket and train (captured audience). they always start like a friendly comment, nothing creepy. A good banter can lead to him asking for my number. As a Matter of fact, it happened last night while shopping at Bunnings ( to get some L brackets, piano hinge n shelving) when a nice looking Italian man approached me for a chat n curious on my items. In the end he asked for my number n I gave it to him. He'll call me for drinks Next week after long weekend. Nice.

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ElectricDreamers

6 years ago

I only really have one recent story... Sorry for ignoring your questions but I'm going for context and storytelling - I think though I'll answer them all. Overseas I met a handsome man at a work event, he gave me his name and number, we discussed that I was in an unconventional relationship - and it was left in my court to call, but life got in the way and he was cute but I have a type which he didn't seem to immediately tick all the boxes of... Disclaimer - I'm not a sapiosexual, it's a nice bonus but I'm a sucker for nice muscles/muscle... On the shuttlebus to the airport I checked his online profile out only to see that actually under that loose shirt was a cross fit instructor, total missed opportunity. Fast forward and since I knew he was likely to be back at the event I reached out in advance of the event, we met in person - and had some very exceptional sex, I think it was the 'real life' element that made it have a different kind of tingle to it. BUT THEN... he just couldn't spare the time to reconnect after that first night, although we bumped into each-other, yes he was working hard, and there was lots of communication and seemingly desire to do so... So I dig a little deeper online and he's a married man - which is just not my thing at all, couldn't bare to know I could be the cause of someone's emotional pain. I was so out of practice with making real life connections that it literally did not occur to me that it's something I should ask, we certainly discussed my husband enough that there was space for it to come up. I know in Europe many couples have an 'understanding' like 'don't ask don't tell' but it was a bit of a shock. #5 - I do wonder if waiting a year, but also having more than a 5 minute conversation before made it that much better...

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