F46
Attached but attending alone....
February 09 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have been to a swingers club once and that was enough for me. Not my kind of thing. Too many older guys trying to get me to have sex with them and not liking it when I said no. I have to be attracted to a guy before I would even think about sex with him . But I know lots of women who have had great times at swingers clubs. Good luck. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Nope, would never do. I've gone with girlfriends and lovers. For me it's about feeling safe and knowing got each other's backs. Going alone, I would not feel 100% safe. My suggestion, your first time, go with a friend. You just never know what might happen. Most hosts and regulars are very welcoming, whilst some do not understand, that no means no and will push your boundaries being a newbie. The next day, you will always have that person to vent to about the night before shenanigans. I guess it's an nice feeling having that support. 😇 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Its a shame that your hubby wont even acompany you to a venue. Doesnt mean he has to play if hes not interested. Ive been to private parties on my own, where I didnt know anyone but had spoken to some of the attendees online. That was fine. But I dont think I could do a big venue on my own, unless I was meeting people there. Maybe you could check out the event section, see what guests have registered for a venue, and send a few messages saying that you are thinking of attending alone, tell them what you told us in your post, and you will probably find they will take you under their wing. But still reckon your hubby should escort you if he knows how much it means to you.
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boxestotick
9 years ago
Happy for you to come with us next time we go. No expectations for you to play with us - just to help you get in and comfortablue. Shoot us a message if you're keen. M & K - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
We are on the same turf. Im going to a venue sat night if you are interested, send a message
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RHP User
9 years ago
That's exactly what I was worried about - I think after reading I will only go with someone or have someone I can meet there! Willowtree I might have another talk to him. Unfortunately with little ones and baby sitters scarce it makes it even harder lol! But if we go for a look and not a play he might be more willing. Thanks for the offers guys!!! Watch this space - I just might take you up on the offer if I can't persuade the other half! We are both more comfortable knowing that someone is going to play, but that we only ask what we want to know and are just happy if the other person is. He isn't ready to branch out just yet but knows I have started and it's made him a little curious. Maybe the atmosphere will make for a very fun night back home after 😉
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LifeUnscripted
9 years ago
But you would probably be more comfortable going with someone you trust enough to watch your back. It isn't that clubs are full of insistent predators, but if you are attractive and alone you will be approached, and it might be nice to have someone to be with so you can control that somewhat. People are generally respectful I think, but if you don't want a constant flow of guys approaching you, having someone you can talk to would probably be nice. :) Good luck! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Exactly why I won't go but if I did, I'd go by myself, without hesitation 😀
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is where I was thinking of.....is that where you guys go?
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RHP User
9 years ago
i go as a single woman I don't like mikes - its the only one i've had an issue at but not sure how much i'm allowed to say on the forums about it other people like it though so each to their own i guess. I'm going to one on Saturday night and am in Brisbane - I do normally take a female friend with me though... i see you already have other offers but you're welcome to join .
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boxestotick
9 years ago
Mikes Place! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Soft&Curious: when I first starting visiting events/clubs/parties because of my own urge for more than missionary with one lover, it was with a married woman like yourself--who's husband knew of her fantasies and urges to dress up for a random fetish nite or breakout her sexiest lingerie at the swingers club or at my place--that rush she used to get and sense of excitement she would whisper to me all night long and she would hold on to those moments to spicy up and already healthy appetite, she loved her marriage, but also the 'sexually free' feeling she had when she dressed up for me and paraded around meeting new friends. Her husband wasn't much of dancer and preferred ONLY the vanilla side to their life--so nights she wanted to go out and play we would and we would love it. That quivering heart-pounding and shaking sensation; that only these fantasies that she imagined would quench. Sure that sense of sexual freedom is very freeing to someone new like yourself that hasn't been yet--its not always gonna click with everyone there,but at least your doing something that you actually want to do. There veterans there that will completely put you at easy too. So don't give up on what stirs inside you. As for your FWB, if his 'gun-shy' and doesn't think he can perform in a crowd, I'd say he's kind of selfish--and it happens often! It's your sexual fantasy too, he's just along for the ride on this one. So hike up your sexiest skirt up and plan to get doll up with or without panties (preferable w/o), and enjoy that thunderous excitement of entering a place that completely safe, insanely friendly and without pressure to do anything.
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RHP User
9 years ago
So had a talk with the hubs and he def doesn't want to go but is more than happy for me to! I told him I had a few offers for meeting up with people to make me feel safer/less anxious and asked if he wanted to check out profiles but he said he trusts my judgment (don't know whether I trust it lol) PoisonIV it sucks that you've had a negative experience there - I picked it because Ive heard nothing but good comments. Watch out for messages to those that have been so nice to offer to meet!!!!! So next question - what does one wear? Its says red lingerie but there's nothing else......so do you turn up dressed? lol Im such a novice!!! I thought I would have a few drinks, chat, get out on the dance floor for some hot and sweaty contact and just have a bit of fun. Don't think I will play but copping a feel and some good lip action won't go astray
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RHP User
9 years ago
You've had so good offers, here, and here's another one. My wife and I have been and seen some interesting sights and talked with and met some nice people. The hosts will most likely look after new visitors and give you a tour. Unlike Thundersticks, I don't think your FWB is selfish or suffering performance anxiety if he can't make it or doesn't wish to - each to their own, at their own pace, in this place. Have fun and message if you wish x
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RHP User
9 years ago
I wear whatever I would wear to a night club. Being pre valentines day, red is the theme at most places this weekend. Im not a red person, so I will be wearing a floral summer dress. Well, thats the plan, but it will change just before I get ready. Lol. If you ecide to dress down later, a sexy baby doll or whatever lingere you want. But dress down isnt compulsory unless stated. Enjoy and have fun meeting people
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's up to your sense of bravery, I know when I went to the clubs I've been to around the world--I always wore a overcoat to the door, where they has a coat check--but I have not been to ones in Sydney as of yet, So I could only hope the club you has a discreet way to show up to the club. You dont want to show your 'bravery' to the vanilla folks on the street, I understand that you only want to share it with new friends in a safe place.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have a rotten virus. Now making friends with tissues and a puffer instead of at the club tonight 😠Not the kind of bodily fluids I was hoping to exchange! Have fun peeps - might see what you're up to in a few weeks!
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RHP User
9 years ago
If RHP had a section reserved for ladies who ' like the OP , had a link to a trusted partner who can escort a lady to a swingers club with a no obligation policy . Guys who are screened, trusted and recommended. Not talking Jo Blow off the street Seems silly that people who are keyed alike can't or don't want to attend alone , don't have a place to look for someone to link up with . Doesn't mean automatic sex, ( unless you want ) just a escort.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Its a great idea! I will say that I had some lovely offers made with no obligations so I was humbled by it. Its nice to see friendly people on here. So - did anyone have fun on Saturday?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Im sure there are lots of good trusted guys here who would love to escort a lady to a swingers function . Works both ways really. You attend as a couple who can keep a eye on each others back . After reading some of the things some single males get up to. I'd feel like I'm being judged by the action of others before even getting there, so finding a partner to go with would be much better.
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hotcple0069
9 years ago
Hi OP We are happy to take you to a club, message us if your serious. We wont have any expectations but completely understand how daunting it can be. T n P xx
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Openly_Curious
9 years ago
Answering your original question, I've gone alone twice. My husband is completely disinterested in parties but since I was super curious he was happy to see me go and enjoyed hearing about it after. In my limited experience, the quality of the venue made a huge difference to how comfortable I felt. In both instances I clicked with a couple fairly early on and although I met other people I tended to mostly hang out with them across the evening. People definitely get protective and helpful - in both instances they backed me when someone was being pushy. Beforehand I was most worried about leaving, but both times people I felt safe with walked me to my car.
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