M43
Bad boys vs nice guys
June 21 2020
Comments
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Kokoflamingo
5 years ago
Would you be Scottish by any chance? Ive met nice guys and bad boys. The bad boys are (in my personal experience) insecure and so act like they don't give a fig. The nice guys are keepers, the ones you like to spend time with as well as sleep with. Talking to my girlfriends lately and we were saying that there are not as many nice guys on RHP as before. Be true to yourself, people will like you the way you are. Bad boys for me are a quick thrill, nice guys are ones you keep as friends
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RHP User
5 years ago
Nice guys over bad boys thanks.
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FeistyFatty
5 years ago
A little of Column A and a little of Column B.... have to admit though "too nice" I find unattractive and "too bad" I just block.
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teamaj2
5 years ago
Bad boys v nice guys Myself ( F) I love the look of a bad boy with all the qualities of a nice guy. Physical attraction of course plays a huge role when meeting potential play partners. We are a couple that have been together over 14 years and exploring only for 3 years . We seek a nice guy that will respect our relationship and boundaries. My husband’s take on it - he’s happy to have someone join us but respect is paramount and sometimes lacking . Sadly the bad boys that we are usually attracted to lack respect , are wanting a quick hook up without getting to know us via chat and don’t want to respect our boundaries. A mix of both is perfect ! Archandrews just be yourself and like minded people will find you . Good luck
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
IMO Bad boys are immatured and cocky, as for "nice guys", they are friend zoned and will never move from that position. A charming man just reminds me of a snake charmer. Plays his musical instrument he expects the snake to dance when he wants. When it stops playing, back in the basket she goes. A good man, does the right thing, nor doesn't play head f*ck games nor is he immatured. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
Ms Foxy
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MsJonesy
5 years ago
My preference is a nice man, bad boys just don't attract me at all. Being a nice man doesn't mean being a push over. It's okay to have an opinion and express it, just as it's okay to respectfully disagree with others. In other words, don't be so amenable that you true self doesn't appear.
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EarthQueen
5 years ago
Even if it's just sex, the man that is respectful and kind is always the one you remember with a smile. I think sometimes nice can be equated with not being sexually forward. You can do both. If you agree on it together, you can explore any erotic, dirty, kinky, sexual fantasy together and still treat her well. Sex is a playful arena that can sometimes be different to the everyday way that you relate to each other. For example, You can still be into BDSM and dominate a women ( if that's what she likes) and be a nice guy. I think the big thing is to communicate with each other with openness, and respect each others boundaries. A good book that explores the psychology of this a bit more is Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel .
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archandrews
5 years ago
I guess the jist is showing confidence while being nice. Usually bad boys display confidence and sometime that can be misplaced - arrogance can be seen as confidence for a short period (till it gets nasty). But being nice doesn’t always exude confidence straight away.
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RHP User
5 years ago
I’d take a different slant and talk about insecure men vs men that own their masculinity. Insecure men are as many described here the bad boys. Self absorbed, toxic masculinity with outdated views on women and a sense of entitlement and lack of empathy. Men who own their masculinity are secure enough in themselves to surrender or to take control. They are not threatened by feedback and are present to a woman and what she brings to the moment. I think men have had confusing messages about who they need to be in this world. Be nice, but not too nice, else you are seen as a pushover. Be strong and like a super hero, but show emotions too. Don’t be too sexually demanding, but be sexually confident. There’s so much more to unpack here around expectations on men, no wonder they are confused.
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nightingale8
5 years ago
If you’ve met a few wonderful women and couples sounds like you’re probably doing just fine in the meeting aspect! As for being called “too nice” it sounds to me like a polite way of saying you’re a doormat ha. Overly eager, careful not to offend, never disagreeing? Nice = inoffensive but boring. Not you? I thought so. He he. At other times it’s just based on other people’s preconceived notions about you and their company hasn’t brought out the best in you. Just not the right fit and that’s fine. Bad boys? *yawn* It makes me think of people whose seduction strategy is simply making women feel insecure so as to appear in limited supply but then punctuating that with bursts of attention. Boring!
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sweetnyorkshire
5 years ago
women are attracted to the two Cs confidence and competence. its up to you if you choose to be bad or nice with these qualities.
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AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
go 1 step further. Bad boys are generally malignant tosses. The women that want to be with them are quite often capable of pulling most men they want but reject the imposes of society and end up caught in the crime and dangerous situations their dickhead men get them in. Generally shit attracts shit. And the dunny bees that come with them So be your nice self and you'll attract nice women. The nice looking women that go the other way have dark hearts, best told to fuck off for the sake of your own red and your black wallet
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AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
Should have read red hearts and black wallet. Think Snow White and her sisters. Her red heart and the sisters black hearts. Who would you prefer? Snow White was apparently very good in bed....
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SpicyKale
5 years ago
Annie, love the analogy! Though I'm not sure if anyone worked out if snow white was good in the sack... I think the general train of thought was that she was still a virgin because all the dwarfs were fucking dopey😉 I think at times people confuse being confident with being a bad boy. I'd go a confident nice guy any day... but confident without over the top arrogance
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Sawadee
5 years ago
Guys are good blokes ? I know which i prefer...
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click_lick
5 years ago
This question can likely be asked for both genders....Girl Next Door or Man Eater? I'd say the mainstream...about 2/3 of population will be attracted to nice people (men or women) who exhibit confidence and competence...i.e. people who are confident and competent and aren't being pricks about it. Just under 1/3 would be attracted to Mr.Nice-Guy-at-all-costs....aka pushover. And the remainder would go for Mr.Prick-at-all-costs. Where am I pulling the numbers from I hear you say? Estimates based on my rudimentary knowledge of evolution theory and the fact that we are still around as a species.... Depending on what a person's goal is (meet nice people, meet bossy people, meet self-conscious people, meet any people), one *could* portray a different persona for different "audiences". This requires capability (to shape shift) and also effort (to stay in-character)....and women with their formidable intuition pick up on all the incongruencies. So from my point of view it goes back to: one should stay true to themselves instead of shape shifting and portraying to be a different person. As said further above, in the long run and as a broad generalisation, nice will attract nice and crap will attract crap.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Arrogance is a huge turn off, recently after a thanks but no thanks offer. I was told Id find it very difficult to get any other offers. Give me nice guy any day of the week. With a little patience and trust they become the best lovers.
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86Jasindy
5 years ago
I believe it has allot to do with maturity. I went through a stage in my 20's I was fond of a bit of bad boy action, then realised (the ones I went for anyhow) were only interested in themselves. Now that I'm a bit more grown up, I want a partner, not a naughty teenager I have to keep tabs on. What struck me when I met Mr is the gentlemanly nature, which I felt protected and cared for, and the kind heart. At the end of the day, the bad boy type is just going to cause headache after headache if you get in a long term thing with him.
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AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
Spicy Didn't you see the Snow white porno. All the dwarfs are like horses.
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countrytouch82
4 years ago
One buddy relatively recently referred to me as the "dark horse", or in the context of this discussion the nice guy with a bad boy streak. But it was more a reflection of kinky secrets, as opposed to any conflicting type or badness in attitude. But of course any primary or secondary nature is rarely discovered by anyone while having a good guy book cover, regardless of what's inside, good or bad. It took a very long time before anyone picked up my book and read it. However on a similar note, way back in my youthful (school age) days I managed to get away with the odd rule breaking, because of course no one "suspected" me, the Mr Quiet Achiever stereotype at the time (insert sly evil grin) :p
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JohnAnn2227
4 years ago
In my experience bad boys just lack respect for anyone else. I find arrogant people an incredible turn-off whereas manners and someone opening the car door for me etc are the right way to encourage me to experience more of you.
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FlossieXx
4 years ago
I’ve met plenty of “bad boys” who are really just nice guys with hard outer shell or who just go for a “bad boy” aesthetic. That being said I don’t define a bad boy as someone who is disrespectful or an asshole, I define it as someone who doesn’t conform to society’s standards. And that appeals to me in a way as I’m a bit the same and it shows you have a bit of a spine and something interesting about you imo. However nice guys are lovely and I have no problems with them except that at times they can become overbearing in my experience. So really either is great but ideally a bad boy with a nice guy centre x
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funtimes247
4 years ago
Nice guys finish last
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funtimes247
4 years ago
Bad boys finish first Nice guys let the lady finish first 😉
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Sawadee
4 years ago
Just reading through all the different replys . Nothing much unusual about the outcome.. Everyone has thier opinion on bad guys and as expected good for a romp in the hay but not the sort you'd want to spend 24 hrs a day, take home to meet mum ' or spend the rest of your life with.. Thats where the so called good guys come into thier own. Ive been called both ' so go figure ? Even good guys know how to be the bad boy ...
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