M41
Battle of the sexes...
September 02 2013
Comments
-
Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Lead ..... and Balance Your friend is right in the "women being told they can have it all".... and when some get it, they're still not happy. Because as individuals, they were never happy inside to begin with. As a Man, "calibration" between being a strong, bold Man who leads, and the empathic Man who acknowledges those strengths that she brings to the table..... is vital. This comes through effective communication, which also needs to be negotiated over time. Why battle, when you can negotiate. ;-) DG
-
RHP User
11 years ago
In my eyes both men and women are equal.We want the same things, the need to feel wanted, needed and respected.We have the same emotions and feelings.The only problem I see is vocal vocabulary..Men see snow as snowWomen see snow as snowflakes, ice, ice particles, blizzards, sleet, frozen water, oooooooh the list is endless!!I think sometimes things just need to be simplified. It would make it a lot easier to get points across.FOXY
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I think 'stereotype' is one of those words that can mean different things to different people. When a large majority of people exercise a commonly held standard of behaviour over a long period of time it becomes known as a stereotype. It is quite possible that some of our ancestors got some things right so not all stereotypes are necessarily 'bad' generalizations ?Are you behaving chivalrously because you want to or because a stereotype demands that you do ? Would you behave the same way if the stereotype didn't exist or was reversed - I like to think I would. I always just keep offering every time without getting upset or put out when she says "no, I'll pay this time" ?The point could be made to your girlfriend that you feel the same way about being chivalrous and embracing the responsibilities you think are yours to assume as she does being independent ? You giving in is the same as her giving in ? Any parents will tell you there are natural 'roles' that develop ... neither a woman nor a man alone can fulfill all parental roles to the same degree and effectiveness as a couple ... roles are not about superiority or importance but rather teamwork and interdependency - the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Just nod your head a lot when a woman is talking to you !
-
RHP User
11 years ago
which resonates with me.An independent woman me.I found it quite uncomfortable to even accept a man buying me a cup of coffee....until recently...a man told me he wanted to wine and dine me,buy me gifts,at first I felt sheer horror at the very thought,soooo uncomfortable,but he ignored my protests and bought me a beautiful gift....I was so surprised at how much I actually enjoyed, not just the gift but his absolute pleasure in shopping for me,choosing this beautiful thing,just for me.Sometimes a principle is a very cold thing to cling to.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
The rules are.If you ask for a brekkie / lunch / dinner date you pay, if the other way round, go dutch.Re stereotypes - I don't like them
-
RHP User
11 years ago
How thoughtful of you to even want to work women out :) I have no advice - women are a puzzle wrapped in a conundrum. Good luck xxx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
OP, I know your pain well... a lot of my lady friends get really shitty with me because I suffer with the White Knight Syndrome. (offer to pay, open doors, say thankyou, treat them with respect etc etc) If a woman is trying to open a door and her arms a full I open it for her (hey I'd do the same for a man). The big difference now days is that if she whinges about being able to do it herself I just tune out and don't take offense. I'm not going to stop being a nice guy simply because she wants to wear the pants. Yes she can do the same job as I can, yes she should get paid the same wage for the same work. But conversely, yes I should be allowed to behave as I feel is right, do and offer what I will (just as she has the right to refuse). DG is right about Balance... but it is a two way street that these women need to learn as much as we men do. (I have an itch in-between my shoulder blades from some of the guys who posted in the Secret Mend Business section recently... think I'll check for sharp objects )
-
madotara69
11 years ago
That was a very beautiful post. And it is soooo true.Mado
-
RHP User
11 years ago
HaHaHa Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested - everything said can and will be used against you LoL
-
madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'KiwiBred' HaHaHa Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested - everything said can and will be used against you LoL on a monthly basis but at other timesMado Tara xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Female Entitlement Mentality. It’s “always getting what you want, when you want it, even in defiance of reality and other people’s wishes,” according to Miranda Devine, who wrote about FEM in an opinion piece for the Sunday Telegraph over the weekend. Whether it’s career or family related, Miranda suggests there’s an increasing number of women who believe they live in the age of entitlement and have a “deluded self-belief and inflated sense of importance”. Her article is based on a survey which found there were health risks for women who put off having children until after the age of 35. What was interesting about the survey, she wrote, was the reaction to the results. Older mothers were angry at the suggestion they posed a “greater potential burden” on the health system, despite the fact that “no one was telling older women not to have babies or saying they won’t have a perfect delivery. The study simply reported the unavoidable fact that fertility declines with age, and the risk of some complications doubles. Knowing the truth should help women inform their life decisions, and avoid heartache down the track. But the irate reaction suggests some would rather bury their heads in the sand. The hostility was symptomatic of a female entitlement mentality (FEM).” Expanding on this idea of FEM, Miranda wrote: Increasingly in our narcissistic age we see this deluded self-belief and inflated sense of importance, from baby boomers to 13-year-old princesses. At its extreme, it manifests in the stars of reality shows such as The Real Housewives of Orange County, women whose lives are an epic monument to selfishness. FEM is the end product of a culture that places self-esteem and empowerment above fairness and common sense. For three generations, women have been told growing up that they are can have it all, do anything, and have unlimited freedom of choice. This was terrific for women to break free of oppression and achieve equality. But along the way we forgot that some restrictions on freedom must exist, if you are not to trample on the rights of other people and if you accept certain biological realities. Now, an inflated sense of entitlement means you lash out and blame others when you don’t get everything you believe you deserve. Some of Miranda’s examples of the Female Entitlement Mentality include: - The 18-year-old girl who is suing her former private school after she failed to get into the law school of her choice. She claims the school did not support her. The school claims she didn’t finish all her work. - People who opt for home birth over hospital births. “Their entitlement to a personally fulfilling experience trumps the right of their unborn child to the safest possible birth,” she writes. - The dating scene. Are women being too picky and coming across as arrogant? But it’s not just women who are guilty of growing up believing they can “have it all”. As children, we’re lead to believe we can do anything; that we can do anything and be anything we set our mind to. But to what extent is that true? Where’s the line between thinking you deserve something and actually being able to achieve it?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
A wave of female umbrage last week greeted a research study which found there are health risks for women who put off having children till after age 35. "Older mothers slam age shame" was one angry headline about the Monash University research into 133,000 women in Victoria, which warned older mothers posed a "greater potential burden" on the health system. No one was telling older women not to have babies or saying they won't have a perfect delivery. The study simply reported the unavoidable fact that fertility declines with age, and the risk of some complications doubles. Knowing the truth should help women inform their life decisions, and avoid heartache down the track. But the irate reaction suggests some would rather bury their heads in the sand. The hostility was symptomatic of a female entitlement mentality (FEM), which means always getting what you want, when you want it, even in defiance of reality and other people's wishes. Increasingly in our narcissistic age we see this deluded self-belief and inflated sense of importance, from baby boomers to 13-year-old princesses. At its extreme, it manifests in the stars of reality shows such as The Real Housewives of Orange County, women whose lives are an epic monument to selfishness. FEM is the end product of a culture that places self-esteem and empowerment above fairness and common sense. For three generations, women have been told growing up that they are can have it all, do anything, and have unlimited freedom of choice. This was terrific for women to break free of oppression and achieve equality. But along the way we forgot that some restrictions on freedom must exist, if you are not to trample on the rights of other people and if you accept certain biological realities. Now, an inflated sense of entitlement means you lash out and blame others when you don't get everything you believe you deserve. Take the case of the woman suing Geelong Grammar because she did not get a high enough mark to get into the course of her choice. Most people might accept the disappointment as bad luck, a sign of their own limitations or a spur to work harder. But not Rose Ashton-Weir, 18. She felt entitled to a place at the University of Sydney law school. Or the case of the Australian woman who divorced her Italian husband and took their four Italian-born daughters back to Australia, where she now wants to live. She defied a Family Court order that the girls, who are in their teens, should return to Italy, and has now been feted in the media, and championed by her local Liberal MP. The father says he loves his daughters and wants them home and the full bench of the court agrees. But the mother wants what she wants, so she's sent the children into hiding. Then there are those women who insist on having home births, even in high-risk pregnancies, ignoring medical advice that the baby could die. Their entitlement to a personally-fulfilling experience trumps the right of their unborn child to the safest possible birth. But it's on the dating scene where the entitlement mentality hits a brick wall. "A lot of women have a materialistic, shopping list mentality," says dating agency owner Della Cory. "It's true women have to know their rights and get their needs met but they also need to be aware with men that if you come across with an air of haughtiness and entitlement, bordering on arrogance, it's a turn-off." Veteran match-maker Yvonne Allen, after connecting professional singles for 37 years, is at her wits' end finding partners for women with inflated self-esteem. "I'm so concerned about what I see happening with relationships, men are feeling deballed," she said. One typical client, a businesswoman in her late 30s, complained about three men the agency had introduced her to. "They weren't suitable in her mind because none of them called her back. It was our fault," she said. Allen has found success for her clients by telling them some home truths . . . she has taught them humility. Life is a lot more pleasant when you are honest about its limitations.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks... its interesting to hear other points of view.Can I just say my post was edited quite significantly and I am quite sure (not making excuses :D) that whoever moderated this added some grammatical typos too! "reasonable intelligent" lol.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Yeah but this is what I don't get, I would do those things anyway and I do for my male friends or other girls that I have zero romantic interest for. If I enjoyed their company, they are good friends, I just see it as just good manners?Quoting 'IndefatigableMe'Are you behaving chivalrously because you want to or because a stereotype demands that you do ? Would you behave the same way if the stereotype didn't exist or was reversed - I like to think I would. I always just keep offering every time without getting upset or put out when she says "no, I'll pay this time" ?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Nick_Wilde' (Well, Miranda Devine) Then there are those women who insist on having home births, even in high-risk pregnancies, ignoring medical advice that the baby could die. Their entitlement to a personally-fulfilling experience trumps the right of their unborn child to the safest possible birth. I do hope the Telegraph gave Miranda credit after stealing just about everything she wrote... But wtf about home births? Sense of entitlement, really? Women have given birth at home since the beginning of time and it has nothing to do with feminism or "wanting what they want and not putting the child first." What's next? The working mothers debate again?
-
foreign_lover
11 years ago
I used to date a Russian girl, a long distance relationship at first but we did meet several times. On the last vacation together things weren't going too good (a big euphemism that, but let's not wander off) and there is one situation that sprung up in my mind when i read the OP's post:We were having dinner in a local Bulgarian restaurant (the holiday was in Varna). She wanted to play safe and ordered spaghetti bolognese. I tried a local dish and once i got it, i thought it was delicious. So i offered her to taste it. She declined. I asked her if she was sure she didn't want to try it out as it was really delicious. Still a "no".Once the holiday was over and we spoke online, she was complaining she only ate spaghetti and pizza's. I respond to her, i offered you several times to try something new or try from my plate. Her response: " You should've insisted more"She was an odd one, but oh so pretty and cute! Needless to say, i had my limit and soon after that i couldn't handle it anymore and put an end to it.
-
Paradisepair
11 years ago
But yeah, women who think they can have it all by channeling their inner Prima Donna have been fed the line by the media, by crappy TV shows and vacuous magazines. The Princess myth has been instigated by parents spoiling and protecting their little girls from growing up and the harsh reality of life.I am a proud feminist, with no apologies or man-hate attached, I on many levels do have it all but it took a lot of life experience to get here. I'll always accept chivalry when it's on offer but not without being prepared to break my wallet out before it's offered (and follow through). I'll also happily foot the bill entirely when the mood and budget suits me. Generosity - yours or mine should never be taken advantage of - and I'm quick to spot a moocher.I was brought up to be an independent woman - and to pitch in and support those around me who need it. I also love being spoiled - but I don't expect people to read my mind and know which hat I'm wearing nor do I resent them for failing to pick up on something that was never said... AND I've met a few guys in my time who have milked my generosity dry and given me a head-fuck for my trouble so goose/gander/pot/kettle/black...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Brilliant.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you both for your posts. Home births are indeed as old as humanity. And why shouldn't a woman decide her preferred way of giving birth? It is her experience and lets face it, while hospitals have come a long way, its still not the same as being at home with loving support from family and friends. I find it quite disheartening that when women start behaving like spoilt brats they invent all sorts of names to describe their behaviours, and making it clear that these are something to be ashamed of. Bad women, having a sense of entitlement, believing that they are in fact worthy of something and someone special. If I could be bothered I would start a post on male privilege, and there are plenty of scholarly articles I can refer to support my claims that male privilege is alive and well throughout the world. At the end of the day bratty people are bratty people and they come in both genders. And YES, I am a proud feminist too, and also a humanist and like Mrs Paradise, I don't hate men. I'm the mother of two of them.
-
chevtrek
11 years ago
Both sexes lost the battle back as far as the 60s
-
RHP User
11 years ago
And nothing I really disagree with. Goes both ways though lol. There are many things we men do that just have to confuse the hell out of women lol. The entitlement thing definitely applies to both sexes. These days it seems a lot of people feel that sense of entitlement to have everything their way, no compromise and if I don't get it I will make someone else's life hell!My thoughts?.....Women are strange but wonderous creatures.....probably in equal parts.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm surprised you didn't mention how use this mentality to drive attraction :p- Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'KiwiBred' HaHaHa Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested - everything said can and will be used against you LoL My development has been arrested. But really OP, it's about judging the moment. Sometimes the ladies want to be spoilt, sometimes they want to be your mate. Work out when and where, then tell the rest of us in the Secrect Men's Business forum.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
:-) - Posted from rhpmobile
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share