Becoming Bi?

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  Spontaneous.... it felt right so i went with it. Im a little more fussy with women tho - Posted from rhpmobile

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  boobsandbusted

  7 years ago

  i heard this term once that i thinkers nailed it ,when someone isn't looking for it and it just happens on the spot bi-situational - Posted from rhpmobile

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  AnnieWhichway

  7 years ago

  We evolve, particularly in here. I've seen many women for instance, come into rhp, straight and looking for a single male to have sex. Over time they begin to evolve as they learn about themselves and their bodies. Then they are are up for mmf, then begin going to events with their fwb to swap with other couples, then begin to play with the other female. Then it's bi mmf,. Then play the unicorn. Then a gangbang.......then anything........ Never say never. Just enjoy aanjd try not too label yourself too much

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  MrPlayful

  7 years ago

  Right time, place, person, fuck it why the hell not I said. If I didn’t like it I didn’t have to do it again. Spontaneous yes. Positive or negative... well it wasn’t bad, had a bit of fun, something different that’s for sure when it’s your first time and an hour before you hadn’t ever thought you would try it, had some more experiences since, so I guess it was positive. I didn’t look for it, just happened I guess, but I think that I was open to bi and swinging early on and before I really knew it.

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  For the longest time I thought of myself as straight. And the reason is that my romantic orientation is straight. ie It's only women whom I get crushes on, feel the romantic warms and fuzzies for, end up wanting to have "relationships" with, etc. So I dismissed my fantasies about m2m stuff as just that. Then a few years ago I read something about how romantic and sexual orientations can be out of whack, and it all made sense! I still think of myself as romantically straight, but sexually more flexible now. In hindsight I've always been like that, but it was just hard to see and acknowledge - mostly because society packages up romantic and sexual orientations very tightly. And male bisexuality is especially stigmatized. My take is that sexual orientation is much more fluid than romantic orientation. ie You see a lot more people getting into situational bi play for purely sexual fun than going fully bi (as in deciding that they could equally have a proper romantic relationship with both genders suddenly). Or maybe it just seems like that to me because I'm wired that way myself. So to answer the question: Yes, I think people can "become bi". But then, labels and identity are artificial social constructs which obscure a lot of subtlety. And sometimes it's more about finetuning which label makes sense for you than actually experiencing a real internal change as such. So I find it more useful to use these things as descriptive guides than as prescriptive and rigid identities. *shrug*

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  Right time, right place and right person and BAM! Everything you thought you knew about yourself is blown to smithereens.

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  lovebitten

  7 years ago

  But have had a few girlfriends about my age coming out as bi. All have been in relationships with men before and have children. I can only think it's something they pushed down for years, but now it's coming out? - Posted from rhpmobile

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  AnnieWhichway

  7 years ago

  Well written. Agree but have found that most bi's have a pronounced attraction to the opposite sex and limit the idea of romantic attraction to just the opposite sex. In reality, it's just that there is a hard wired tendency to be overly critical/ fussy toward the same sex. But in many cases, it's a matter of meeting the right person that satisfies those subconscious points that allows us to entertain the idea of a romantic liaison with a same sex partner. There is also the social impact when confronted with the opportunity of a same sex relationship in one's social world that they have built around themselves. In that context, it's often easier to dismiss that opportunity as just a secret sexual bi encounter than to face the hurdles of having a traditional relationship in the heterosexual lifestyle that you are associated with around friends and family. It's often just too hard to accommodate and therefore that phrase "coming out of the closet" is not an option for many. Having come out myself as bi and left behind most friends and family and my traditional hetro lifestyle, l date both sexes without too much thought. Having been burnt by a recent relationship with opposite sex, it's just easier to go with the flow. Haven't had the romantic notion for same sex yet but my subconscious barrier to the notion has been removed and left me with an open mind. In itself, it's a refreshing feeling. Annie

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  Hottie1

  7 years ago

  I always fantasised being with a woman, would masturbate to bi or lesbian porn and when we began swinging I explored with a woman ... it was what I’d imagined and more :) I am bisexual ... I’d easily be with another woman :) Mary xx

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  CandyDelicious you hit the nail on the head, that's exactly what happened with me several years ago and it's only happened once since although I've experienced several 3somes in between, it's just BAM your caught up in the moment

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  OkeyDoke45

  7 years ago

  For me it was something I knew from my teenage years - fantasized about sex with men as much as, and sometimes more than, women. Raised in your classic ''real men'' country mining town, no way you could let stuff like that out. Not ever. That kind of thing just didn't go on. Thankfully moved to a much more cosmopolitan and adventurous location, still didn't ''come out'' but had my first ''contact'' with gay and bi men. It was as much fun as I thought (not the first time though) and set me on a path of great times. Like others here have commented, I meet the odd bloke that I think ''you know what, I could try a proper relationship with you'', but they are few and far between. Again, as others have commented here, for some people their sexuality is an evolutionary thing throughout their life. They will add in (and remove) desires and fantasies as their experience widens. I think more people/couples are doing this with the internet (no more skulking in an out of porn shops) allowing people to explore new fantasies. Most people are still classic vanilla heteros though, and probably always will be.

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  gazpacho

  7 years ago

  The difference between a straight guy and a bi guy is two beers. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  7 years ago

  truly bi people know from a young age, as with Mary and OkeyDoke, and others have said. Although I've toyed with the idea, more so by getting to know some on the forum, I doubt I'll ever go there again. I am straight and into men. Yes I agree anyone can be caught up in the moment, but I don't believe that makes them bi, particularly if there is no desire to repeat, or ongoing/underlying attraction to the same sex. To be properly bi, you would IMO be equally turned on by the same sex. Going with the flow in the moment can happen for a number of reasons, not limited to wanting to please a partner. Just my thoughts 😯

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