M54
Best friend ex's
December 17 2015
Comments
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LittleGiant
9 years ago
I have no idea why she would react that way, unless she either got the vibe that you were still in love with your ex (not in a 'as a friend' way) or she is very insecure. I have been good friends with all of my exes (not as long as you though, the friendships tended to dwindle out after a while). I was at my first long term partners' fiancee's hen's party and still talk to the ex after that one. - we used to catch up as friends (and fwbs for a while as well), but he now lives overseas. I tell him more than my closest friends! I understand if a relationship ends on a sour note, it'd be hard to remain friends. Having a great relationship with an ex shows that you are both mature people, I think.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Lucky that came out early.Dodges some dramas in the future I'd say. Personally, I would rather be in a relationship with someone who had at least an amicable relationship with their ex( if children are involved) especially if you go to any sporting functions or birthdays of the children. There are no issues.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Okay so mixed feelings on this. My relationship with my husband was similar, no heated arguments, not in recent years anyway, amicable breakup, all good, and I could quite easily have kept him in my life as a friend. He has over time gently moved away from that, reducing contact, knowing that that would be difficult for me. Keep in mind I was married to this man for 23 yrs so came to rely on him for advice, to fix things lol 😁 emotional could easily come into that if you're not both careful. The children need to get used to each of you having your own lives, they adapt quickly, we however can be a bit slow on the uptake. I think you sound like you haven't let go yet, i'm not having a go at you, but you may not even realise it yourself, perhaps you need to move on the kids get used as an excuse. They can be dropped off and picked up, leave it at that and properly start your own life. As far as how your date felt about that part of your life, if it's a hook up, casual encounter, then it's none of her business, not sure why she would care. I don't even know their name half the time, true story 😁😯
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RHP User
9 years ago
dictate that, to her, one of you still burns a candle and it's just a matter of time before she's being turfed out on her ear.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
No dramas is good obviously and it says a lot about you as a person, but you don't have lunch with that person, you separated for a reason, time to move on IMHO 😯
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hard to explain but there's no embers to rekindle that's for sure. I think it's knowing each others secrets, fears, anxieties and aspirations and being able to talk about it. I'll admit it's enormously reassuring to have someone to bounce things off and I'll assume the same for her. But yeh... This woman's reaction surprised me. I think the other factor is every one of my friends and family adore her and stay in contact, invite her to functions and gatherings and probably still whinge to her about me lol.
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RHP User
9 years ago
just wanted to say good on u ur kids need both of u in there life n its great that u have that sort of relationship well done should be more like it i would of stayed for dinner dessert and the rest mmmmmmm............
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd become friends with the ex too, may as well! And why shouldn't they still go out for lunch?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sounds high maintenance to me.
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Comes to my mind. Sounds like to me, the both of you are dependent on each other. There's no room for growth or freedom. I don't blame the other woman in a way. Becomes a drama Triangle... Who wants that?? Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
When I first met my ex I was surprised by how positive he was about his ex, and how they still got one well regardless of their break-up. I found it a sign of maturity and quite attractive. Btw I think the real issue here is that she declined dessert. She sounds like a freak! ;-)
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PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
I'd rather be seeing a guy who was on speaking terms with his ex, and maintained a positive relationship with her, than with a guy who talks about her as the enemy. There are a lot of variables in every situation, but in this case it sounds like the other woman had some issues. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Haha too funny, I can see how you'd think that but nah.. She has her private life which I'm sure would make most people blush. I have mine and the kids think we're both eligible to enter the cloth in that regard. Neither of us will openly date as far as the kids are concerned until the youngest finishes school. Once schooling is done it's party time. this was a conscious decision discussed and agreed when she moved out. So far the grades and mental health of the kids suggests we're getting it very right, maybe when schools over we'll have less to do with each other who knows. But if it ain't broke...
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LittleGiant
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' No dramas is good obviously and it says a lot about you as a person, but you don't have lunch with that person, you separated for a reason, time to move on IMHO 😯 I don't see why the can't have lunch together? Separating doesn't mean you shouldn't still be friends and I don't think that being friends means you haven't moved on. A few people have made the assumption that he (or she) still has a soft spot - again, I don't think it's always the case. Maybe I'm too optimistic but I think it can work. In this instance, it sounds like the one with the issue was the woman that couldn't deal with it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It was a FWB situation, I wouldnt care if a guy saw his ex wife every day,. but If I thought it was heading towards a relationship. that would be different. I think its great that you still get on so well, but seeing each other every day is almost like a relationship! If I was interested in a guy and we were planning to get serious, I would not like it. Its disrespectful in a way........ I wouldnt have my ex round every day if I was seeing a new man. I agree, the kids can be dropped off and picked up. Has your ex a new guy? Would she still be visiting you every day if she found someone new? If you at some stage decide you want a serious relationship again, it might well be an issue for your new girlfriend. Im just maybe not so liberal minded as some people though
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
i have a good relation ship with my ex and couple of her partners ,,my current wife gets along with her fine ,everything is the same except we aren't married and the thought of sex makes us laugh ,her brother was my best man at this wedding our family are still closeour the child was not torn in half like some ,yes being friends seems odd to the outsiders ,but let me guess ,like me its just something thats a long story ,thats seems normal, but gets the odd look ,but works well for you ,,glad it came out early and you can discuss it or end it now ,better now than later
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
but theres a line , and i had to draw the line one night ,when they were standing there ,having drinks ,discussing the now and before bedroom details and ganging up on me ,lol,now that was odd ,
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RHP User
9 years ago
Anyone that can not accept someone seeing a close long term friend, be that friend an ex lover, husband, wife, fuck buddy, whatever, is danger in my book and should never become more than a friend. But then something does not sit right with your OP.
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RHP User
9 years ago
But I can't see why you can't be best friends. I think it's great. I don't think anyone has the right to say you can't have lunch together. Some people realise they no longer love each other but still care for each other and the relationship moved to a different level, one of friendship. I wonder if this wasn't your ex and was a male friend, would others still feel you can't see each other every day. I'm sure if you both still wanted to be together, you would and if you were still interested in pursuing a reconciliation with your ex, you wouldn't be looking to date other women. I think the woman you were on a date with may have insecurities and is worried that she may just be a rebound or the in between. As I type this reply, a friend of mine is out for dinner with her ex partner and her current partner who was her ex partner but is her current partner again.
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Single_Guy4U
9 years ago
I know ex's are ex's for a reason, could have been issues, or just maybe just could not live together and conflict of personalities. (sometimes you get on well but just can't live together) Does not mean you still can't be friends. I am still friends with a women I went out with for 10-years, separated around 15-years ago. I even stayed with her in her 1-bed apartment in LA for a week (in the same bed), but no hanky panky as she said she had a boyfriend and she does not cheat (I was single at the time). I had no problem with that and we even went out for drinks with her boyfriend (now married to him with 2x teenage children) We still classify each other a long time friends. Don't talk every week or month, maybe once every 2-3 months, or even once a year sometimes just to catch up and say hi. Neither of us are looking at getting back together, just friends.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I get that there's no flames on your side or your exs..... But does the other lady see that?? It may just be that she's never experienced that with an ex...so asks how on earth could you?? Obviously I'm a little out of ideas on this one as I, like the others, just think she's a bit nutty for ending it without seeing how it works for herself.... But.... I'm trying on this compassion suit, and I gotta say....it's makin me itch lol :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hardly recognized you in your new suit! 😛
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RHP User
9 years ago
New wife decided that she didnt want him to have anything to do with me...she absolutely had nothing to fear from me..they have now been married for thirty years,and it's thirty years since I have seen him...we didnt have children together so there was no reason too.....,I think it's a very insecure person who feels like this. But I think it really depends on the nature of your relationship and how well someone else would be included..xxFreya
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Why some people are naming calling the woman in question for?? I believe she does not deserve that. They met and that was that...The OP obviously did not support the woman's choice (after he explained his situation with his ex) when she made it clear, his situation is not for her. Why hasn't the OP respected that?? I think both parties, (the Woman and the OP) have made it clear it's not for them..have moved on- with declined dessert.. As for the OP's choice of his relationship with his ex, he can do what ever he wants. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
She made a choice which she is entitled to do. Why is that so wrong? I've read plenty of profiles that state "No baggage". I don't get pissy over it. That's their choice. Maybe the problem is a slight case of hurt pride over not getting any dessert?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I suppose everyone has a differing opinion of what baggage is, but I personally wouldnt consider a good platonic relationship with an ex being baggage. But thats just me, I prefer people in my life that arent angry and negative,bitching about their ex. That is what I call baggage.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Some baggage is neatly packed in the downstairs wardrobe and some is strewn over the floor, but everybody has it ! I suspect if the op was to enter a serious loving relationship the daily contact with the ex would fall away of its own accord.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Why some people are naming calling the woman in question for?? I believe I was the only one who called her a name and that was only because she declined dessert, AND I added a winky face. That means I was joking.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'willowtree_2' I suppose everyone has a differing opinion of what baggage is, but I personally wouldnt consider a good platonic relationship with an ex being baggage. But thats just me, I prefer people in my life that arent angry and negative,bitching about their ex. That is what I call baggage. A man bringing up his ex-partner in a negative way on a date has little chance of making it into my bed. (Though I did experience the opposite once, where a guy was still so infatuated with his ex she had to take out an AVO against him. He told me this while in bed with me...)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Firstly, I absolutely have the best relationship with my ex (though hardly ever see him) one many would be envious of BUT I agree with ms foxy with the co-dependent theory. I miss my ex and would love to spend time with him, but, he needs to move on with his life, as do i, and new partners are quite often intimidated by wives of old, god knows I can be intimidating anyway, so is it fair to them? I'm not saying you shouldn't be friends but maybe place your date higher in the ranking than your ex, the fact that you're even talking about ex vs date suggests you have baggage and any woman you're out with will want to know she's the only one in that moment (or more if it goes beyond casual). Little disclaimer here, open relationships are different but your partner still needs to be the most important person in your life (excluding children), so yeah baggage good baggage lol but nevertheless baggage IMHO 😯
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RHP User
9 years ago
Her having a problem with you getting on well has more to do with her than it does you. Not saying she is wrong, but its her issue, not yours. I have a great relationship with my e wife, and hardly anyone I tell that too gets it. If your marriage was anything like mine, it was 95% great! It ended not so ideally after she fell out of love and went to the arms of another, but still I had 5 good years with her, learnt a lot of things about love, life and loss. When we split we became better friends than we did partners. So much so that she has recently invited me over to Germany to attend her wedding, the guy she left me for. They are both even taking on my last name! Im pretty sure if I did go, she would probably ask me to be the one to walk her down the aisle. I fell in love with her coz I though she was an amazing human, she still is that amazing human, just not in a relationship with me. Before I found myself in that situation I must admit I probably would have thought the same as the others. There must be something there still and would think it was going to happen again. But I know that aint the truth. Youre not missing anything mate.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Little disclaimer here, open relationships are different but your partner still needs to be the most important person in your life (excluding children), so yeah baggage good baggage lol but nevertheless baggage IMHO 😯 Fair enough your partner being number one, but does that come with the condition that he cant have any good, successful and meaningful relationships with other females? Or does he just throw away anyone that's important to him in his old life because his new partner feels threatened? Not fair IMO and if that's the case theres no way I would want to be with that person. In my case co-dependency doesn't make sense, shes on the other side of the world. Theres nothing she needs from me other than being a a great friend. If theres children involved that may blur the lines. But do you then put your 'Family unit' (even with separated parents) in a straining situation?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have had the opposite, abandoned by female friends when I got a steady, even though there was no sex involved they just didn't want to share.
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madotara69
9 years ago
Having people in your life that are good friends is good energy, positive well being, good spirits and on a whim! someone can seek a negative perception, create rules or conditions without ever even spending time, a moment, amongst it all without some sort of ownership shit hit's yah smack in the forehead, like an octopus stuck on your face, true love forever bahahaha Mado Mado Tara xx
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Meander, It was not just yourself who named called the woman in question, in this forum. Go back and reread. I think names used were (insecure, nutty). Not cool in my eyes. So do you think it's ok, even if you were " only joking"?? 🤔🤔 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
You were referring to my comment Ms Fox,I merely said I think it's an insecure person who feels like this,the OP asked a question because he was puzzled,I stand by my comment not name calling at all and your comment about the OP and his ex being codependent a bit of a leap in my opinion but you have a right to project as much as I do.
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RHP User
9 years ago
When seen from the top of a very high horse.is full of potholes..live your life as you want to Rugged,as they say,if it ain't broke why fix it..but things change.nothing stays the same,trite but true xxFreya
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Yes the OP is puzzled and curious. I think there's two things going on 1) The meet up with the woman- her choice. 2) The OP's relationship with his Ex partner on a daily basis. Yes I believe that does happen, (being codependent) in "some" marriage separations, especially when there's children involved. I believe sometimes it gives children false hope (in a way) if there's too much, which can make things worse. I believe children may see that as mum and dad getting back together. It can be great to be "friends" and get on well, nothing wrong with that. The OP has stayed, his current situation is working for him and the children are happy. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
But seriously, saying someone is insecure is name-calling now? It's not even a noun, FFS. OP, I hope I get on as well with my next ex.
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RHP User
9 years ago
are you the nutty lady the op is talkin about?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Very clever, belittling others under the guise of humour. Well done. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2'the fact that you're even talking about ex vs date suggests you have baggage but the OP said _she_ asked about his ex.
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RHP User
9 years ago
errr....I mean Phyllis:p Is that better? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
There's a big difference between getting on well with an ex and seeing them every day, obviously excluding dropping off and picking up children, maybe a quick cuppa occasionally but come on, are you really moving on with your life and is she? And as far as the woman you had dinner with, unless we were there and knew how it played out, we can't assume anything about the way she felt, she has no right of reply. My hookups are very different, no dating or going out to dinner, well not yet, so my earlier comment suggesting it was none of her business would only apply in my book if it was a pure hookup for sex, but then you made it her business by telling her? But without hearing her side, we don't know the full story. All due respect, was she really that into you? The question has to be asked. Was there in your opinion, any chemistry? I ask respectfully but would be interested to hear your response to that 😯😃
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've learnt a lot about my fellow forumites on this thread. I have no problem with the woman's decision, frankly I feel I've dodged a bullet. I've since had a couple of messages from her and she has softened on her stance but she's obviously after a serious long term relationship and that's a deal breaker for me at this point in my life. I really didn't know we had so many with doctorates in psychology in here, I'm feeling quite inadequate about my education. (Insert emoticon of choice) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Or Op would have added the lecture about co-dependancy. Its called "friends" co-parenting. Sheesh.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's just....one could be forgiven for noticing the extreme defensive nature of the comment, given that this lady in the op's mention, felt uneasy....that's insecure isn't it?? Or is that completely comfortable with the situation?? Ooooo maybe, foxxy could enlighten us?? *sits on the floor and crosses his legs*
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' Meander, It was not just yourself who named called the woman in question, in this forum. Go back and reread. I think names used were (insecure, nutty). Not cool in my eyes. So do you think it's ok, even if you were " only joking"?? 🤔🤔 Ms Foxy Yes, I totally think it's ok that I jokingly said this woman was a freak for not wanting desert and clarifying with a wink, on this particular forum. Had I suggested she was a freak for not not agreeing with the OP's relationship with his ex, even as a joke, that in my opinion would be different and not ok.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It really boils down to what deserts were on the menu. For all we know, the restaurant could have been McDonalds. But thats if it was a date with Stirry, of course. And wearing his new pair of thongs. 😝 ( for those with no sence of humour.... That was said in jest.)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I keep telling you I'm one classy cunt :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
My take on your post when I initially read it, and now, is that you were taking the piss, referring to someone being a freak for not wanting dessert (food, cake, that type of thing) so I got the humour in that, all good from my seat
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RHP User
9 years ago
Oops, sorry my bad, missed that, thanks for clarifying
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RHP User
9 years ago
G`day, I think it is good that you expect to be able keep life friends (X`s included). I am the same and life friends I will not ignore on request at first date. With kids as well she should expect that they are part of your life, for life !!! An amicable relationship is a desired thing (better than the crazy x g/f !!). Keep looking for what you want, and see the dessert as likely to be sour in that case . I do the right thing by partners, that is the reason I now have them as friends. I have even been sperm donor (in the past) to help an X. I find 50% of lady's I meet feel uncomfortable with that or have issues with me being a dad to my kids. Friends and family will always win with me, I move on with life and keep looking for someone more excepting and without a history of fighting with partners.My 14cents worth, have a great day.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I also mention early (first date) my friendships with X`s and my great kids, to judge if we are suited !!. It saves time to find out early, save getting stuck in a sour puss, heheheh. Merry xmas, and may Mrs Claws bob her red & white hat up and down on your lap by the xmas tree for being a good bloke. It worked for me mmmm. Merry Xmas to all.
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madotara69
9 years ago
Quoting 'RuggedlyRugged' I've learnt a lot about my fellow forumites on this thread. I have no problem with the woman's decision, frankly I feel I've dodged a bullet. I've since had a couple of messages from her and she has softened on her stance but she's obviously after a serious long term relationship and that's a deal breaker for me at this point in my life. I really didn't know we had so many with doctorates in psychology in here, I'm feeling quite inadequate about my education. (Insert emoticon of choice) - Posted from rhpmobile (intimidation look)
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' It's just....one could be forgiven for noticing the extreme defensive nature of the comment, given that this lady in the op's mention, felt uneasy....that's insecure isn't it?? Or is that completely comfortable with the situation?? Ooooo maybe, foxxy could enlighten us?? *sits on the floor and crosses his legs* It was this comment QUTOE: Obviously I'm a little out of ideas on this one as I, like the others, just think she's a bit nutty for ending it without seeing how it works for herself.... But.... I'm trying on this compassion suit, and I gotta say....it's makin me itch lol : UNQUOTE It was not just yourself who named called and belittled the woman, if you go back and re read. It's comments and name calling like your example that grate at me when a woman says she's not interested or anyone for that matter. So you think it's OK to go around calling someone "nutty" for that?? Then belittling under the guise of humor comments toward myself for supporting both the OP and the woman. She said NO and she's allowed to make that choice and she does not have to explain herself. Even with the EX in the picture, by going on the op's posts she just was not that into him, nor does she want to place herself in a situation that is not right for her. Is that being insecure or nutty for making a choice and voicing what she believes in? Maybe she didn't want to try for herself (as you said)...maybe she has been there done that?? who knows?? We don't know her side - she has her reasons. The OP and the woman just met had a meal and went their separate ways. As far as I can read by the OP's latest posts, nothing happened after that a few emails exchanged. That's it...nothing followed. I think you can uncrossed you legs now and have a stretch. :) Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' are you the nutty lady the op is talkin about?? - Posted from rhpmobile This are not humors...quite insulting and offensive actually and you should be pulled up on it. Why would you make such remark? To make you feel superior?? Was there really a need for this comment to take it off topic. It is not OK. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
You are right about humors,they are bile,but I suspect you meant humour...now why do I think this has nothing to do with the OP and more about the posters ?
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RHP User
9 years ago
missing something??? Quoting Rugged "sorry but I'm not interested in a man who is still that close to his ex. You'd have to stop having that much contact" That's a controlling, needy, and an insecure statement...it says "I cannot accept the relationship you have with your ex wife.." And who cares why??? But she's insecure about the relationship....and she's entitled to be, as much as I, or anyone else are entitled to call it what it is..... A nutty, insecure woman that hasn't dealt with her shit...... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Maintaining an amicable relationship with an ex is a good thing. Being with your ex every single day would be isnt in my opinion unless you harboured a secret desire to reconcile. I agree with Foxxy that it might be confusing for the children and I am puzzled as to why everyone is attacking her for sticking up for the other woman who cant have her say.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Crap grammar happens when still in bed on the phone.....
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' Maintaining an amicable relationship with an ex is a good thing. Being with your ex every single day would be isnt in my opinion unless you harboured a secret desire to reconcile. I agree with Foxxy that it might be confusing for the children I agree with this. I'd be staying well away from a situation like that as well, and not because I'm insecure.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I wouldn't tell the guy he had to spend less time with his ex....I'd just say see ya and leave him to it.
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PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
Nor does it have to be confusing for the children. My ex and I see each other pretty much every day. It's often just a quick "hi" and a chat while we drop off/ pick up kids, but sometimes longer than that. Our kids aren't confused about whether or not we are going to be getting back together - they are aware we are both much happier now we are separated, and they can see that we are communicating well in order to make sure things are as easy as possible for them. The OP's situation may not be for everyone - nor is mine. But if it works for him, that's great - it doesn't necessarily mean that their communication in unhealthy, or indicative of a complicated and confusing relationship for the kids involved. It could just a be a reflection of a mature approach to a difficult situation.
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RHP User
9 years ago
depend on Quoting 'PatchworkGirl' My ex and I see each other pretty much every day. It's often just a quick "hi" and a chat while we drop off/ pick up kids, but sometimes longer than that. got the impression from what the OP has said that in his case it's more than that. Contact and chats when you drop off and pick up kids is to be expected but this seems to be more involved. It's up to him what works for him but he probably shouldn't be surprised that some women aren't interested in getting mixed up in it and could see potential complications.
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PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
Yep, that's a good point - and if the other woman wasn't interested in getting involved, that's probably good for him to have known that upfront too!
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Not about the posters at all. I feel for the woman. If she was to read this forum, (or if this was posted without her knowledge??) how would she feel having people put her down, judge her, put labels on her, whatever.. when they don't know her only by what the OP has written. It's just his side. I don't think she deserves that at all. She stood up and said its not for her. I think that's a good quality to be able to stand up and say something. It's actually feeling secure in herself that she can do that. Why should she be put down for that? To me that's not being nutty, high maintenance (as one poster said pg 1), insecure? I just don't get that. I think it's more to do with posters their selves than anything making those comments. What it says to me, if posters make those comments, how are they going to react if someone said you're not for me?? Sit there and call them insecure, nutty what ever?? Make uncalled humours belittling comments? See where I'm coming from?? Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
What she said 👍
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Quote:"A nutty, insecure "woman" that hasn't dealt with her shit...... ". So it's just a woman huh? Oooooh I understand, Hummm Interesting. Thanks for explaining. 🙂 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Personally, if I want dessert, nothing stops me, i'm like a dog with a bone 😸😛
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Having a slight dig at ones spelling and Grammar, does not make one more appealing or intelligent. If anything it makes you appear like you were attacking my posts and correcting them. Is that right?? Off Topic???? So what if I have? Does it give you the right to belittle another persons posts- if you are not agreeable?? If anything I have stayed on topic until I was belittled and attacked for my posts. I think the way I have been attacked has been uncalled for. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
As I said,the moral high ground is always shaky,you have made mountains out of molehills as is your prerogative and your usual MO...this is the last time I shall respond to you so take your best cheap shot ..phttt
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RHP User
9 years ago
quoting super foxxy"Stirry Quote:"A nutty, insecure "woman" that hasn't dealt with her shit...... ". So it's just a woman huh? Oooooh I understand, Hummm Interesting. Thanks for explaining. 🙂 Ms Foxy" Bahahahahaha......should I refer to her as a man??? Atm you're just as nutty as she is lol :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
I don't have to take being bullied, named called nor will I be intimidated or insulted nor should anyone. I feel that you have both have taken cheap shots (mainly at myself) for standing up to the woman in question. I have pulled you both up on that and others who have put the woman down. And now I'm told I made a mountain out of mole hill and being told I'm just as nutty as the woman. Seriously that's not OK. I will let others who read this forum judge for themselves. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
I may be easy....but I'm not cheap.... You owe me $150 per comment :p Merry Christmas :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Many moons ago, when my husband and I split, i moved one street away so our children were close to both parents and didnt have to do the fortnightly weekend dad thing, and also as I didnt get home from work until 6 at night, and my ex finished at 2, our kids would go to their dads place after school. I would pick them up from there after work.Sometimes I stayed and had a chat and cuppa, and stayed for an occasional meal. So I saw my ex daily. But that worked for our family structure and the kids benefited by not having to go to after school care. We were both totally over our marriage by a long shot, so there was no ulterior motives, just what worked for our family. And yes it did change a little when he eventually had a girlfriend move in. I didnt stay for a cuppa etc. And that was fine as it was her home with him by that stage. So maybe thats why I can relate to the ops experience.
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RHP User
9 years ago
with my ex as I don't have to deal with the irritations that separated us. To reiterate what OP said the woman's comment was - "You'd have to stop having that much contact". In my opinion she was entitled to not be interested in a man still close to his ex but to try to order his life with that comment is no one's right. You either accept it or you remove yourself from the situation and they are the only options in my opinion.
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RHP User
9 years ago
3 streets for us hahaha. - Posted from rhpmobile
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ruby_blossum
9 years ago
may only be a little guilty of "living in the future" (something many people do these days) Instead of taking the time to get to know you properly, see if there was any type of relationship between the two of you, her brain has already skipped far ahead and she told you how she would feel about you keeping such a strong relationship with your ex. Nothing wrong with that, at least you know now and only skipped dessert.
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RHP User
9 years ago
trying to figure this part out. I think we have both settled down now from the rawness of our separation which has been protracted. It still hurts that we aren't together now......a lot.......but I know in time it's healthier for us both. We are trying to figure out the parenting side of things and we are trying to keep it amicable. Not sure how it will end up but I have to be her friend to make this work really.
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RHP User
9 years ago
No sense in holding grudges. Especially when kids are involved. Good for you :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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