M53 F54
Best way to approach a married woman?
January 08 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm told I'm forward to the point of being scary, but that opening line is a bit much, even for me. . I'd suggest starting up a conversation about your personal lives where you mention your home situation without hitting on her. Let her think about what you said and see if she mentions it next time you talk. . And no matter what her response is, if you are still forced to work with her afterwards, tread carefully. They don't say you shouldn't shit where you eat for no reason. Should she be freaked out or offended she could potentially make work very difficult for you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Basically you are saying "wanna fuck". No that is definitely not the right way to go. I agree with Mes's comment.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks Mesmerised. As mentioned, I'm rusty/clueless... and suspected the "be direct" approach might be too blunt.And I agree not to shit where I eat. I wouldn't approach her till my final contract/job is done.Cheers!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Wise counsel. Ta.
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RHP User
11 years ago
MESMERISED...
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On_Safari
11 years ago
You ask her out for a coffee first? Then turn the chat to something other than work to try and gauge her level of attraction to you. If she likes you she'll agree to the coffee....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thats too risky and could be back fired big time on your face...i probably will get offended by it if i was her , perhaps better to get to know her first and her situation before making any move on her, Good luck !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Once all work is done, and we'll never work together again, should I go "Coffee?" or "Drink?" Which would you rather?Or which says "I'm interested in you" better without being creepy... assuming "Drink", but happy to hear otherwise.;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
If a guy came up to me and casually mentioned he had an open marriage, I'd say good for you and walk off......... Now if I was asked for a coffee and relaxed and laughed with that person, different entirely.......... When at coffee, touch the elbow when walking her through the door, when you laugh touch her arm, do all the normal interactions that you would do when your on a date and you want to show your interested, you know the looks!!! If she says I'm married, then that's when you should say your information.... 'Look, you know I'm married as well, however I do want to say to you that my wife and I have an open marriage, we both play'. You can stipulate that of course she knows as she plays too!!! Have you or your husband ever thought about it? Good luck and enjoy!
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blond_gypsy
11 years ago
I obviously lack the wisdom that age and gender brings to many of the responses you'll get, but my innocent impression here is that part of the excitement for her is the taboo of it all. You're married, she's married, and yet flirting with you gives her biutterflies and vice versa. That brings about two problems. If you reveal your open marriage, does that make you less interesting? And two, she's married and not likely in the open situation that you are. Are you comfortable with that? It's no secret that while cheating is considered by most to be a bad thing, it's also...really exciting.
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madferrret
11 years ago
Quoting 'TommyDee1972' Once all work is done, and we'll never work together again, should I go "Coffee?" or "Drink?" Which would you rather?Or which says "I'm interested in you" better without being creepy... assuming "Drink", but happy to hear otherwise.;) if she agrees to coffee for gods sake don't take here to the local greasy spoon cafe. maybe somewhere that also serves a good glass and great food , reserve a table with a view , ? good luck son
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RHP User
11 years ago
Man oh man i know ? You should get your lovely wife to bring your lunch oneday make sure your lady colleague is there introduce your wife to her ! And then ask your wife to say to her something like !!!? Wow omg ! Mrs ? You are hotter than my husband said , you are a sexy woman indeed , my husband really wants to fuck you did you know ?? Tell you what how about dont worry about him just yet would you care to have a drink with me??? Get your wife to do it !! Hahaha - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
After your contract is up let her know you value her friendship and would like to continue it...exchange numbers and have a coffee date or lunch catch up...go from there. You will know if she is into you or not. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
More wise words and tips. Appreciated. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
All the ladies have given great advice. But .... One thing to remember about approaching anyone is your personality. Your personality must be on display NOT your desires. One thing I know that has been a drop kick to the face in my approaches has been the question "what do I say, and do to flick that immediate "I want your sex" button in this woman? The answer is nothing. You cannot consciously flick a switch here, turn a dial there like you're trying to find the tits on sbs. Your personality, and your confidence does that all for you. So..... Only YOU know this woman and really, not one of us can give you a line, a phrase that will be able to help. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes thats best, since she is a married woman .
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RHP User
11 years ago
You been Skyping DG again? . Quoting 'TommyDee1972'Once all work is done, and we'll never work together again, should I go "Coffee?" or "Drink?" Which would you rather? Or which says "I'm interested in you" better without being creepy... assuming "Drink", but happy to hear otherwise. ;) Why not, you could say "Let me buy us both a drink to celebrate the good outcome" or something, and go from there.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm working him with foot, didn't you notice?? :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Up there - Posted from rhpmobile
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
Yep become a good friend first - lol! Enjoying this post!
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
It's becoming a habit, Mes lol..... Ok so this comment may not be what you want to hear, but you asked for opinions. I say.... do nothing. She's married.... I'd be bone too impressed if some guy hit in my wife.... So that's the bit you didn't want to hear. Now... for the rest. You have no idea about the nature if her relationship just as she has no idea of yours. However you do know you have your own wife's permission. So if this married woman is flirting and giving the usual signs of interest.... change nothing that you've been doing and allow HER to make the decision to progress.... which you can encourage by only slightly raising the "temperature" of your flirting through eye contact that is prolonged 1-2 seconds longer than usual, the occasional expressive touch during conversation, and the occasional slight knowing smile. ( We're it me, and I KNOW ill cop flak for this comment.....I may look intently at her during a closet than is normal moment..... "It's ok....... I want to kiss you too"...... Then go back to what jobs you were doing). Observe her behaviour when doing these things to see if she responds positively. But again, I stress..... you don't know her marital situation, so let HER make the decision. You can tell her your open marriage circumstances once that threshold has been crossed. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Love those typos lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
See??? I let him up for air :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
You sound like a mini-me of someone ;) OP - your approach basically says 'you're hot, you're fuckable, you'll do'. This is fundamentally not flattering to most women (depending on circumstances of course). Plus, you work with her. Plus, she's married. Plus, you have no idea whether she's open to monogamish scenarios or cheating on her husband. Tread carefully. Make a connection on a personal level not revolving around sex. Flirt a little. Be open about your situation. Read her reactions and take it from there. Just my opinion :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' It's becoming a habit, Mes lol..... ( We're it me, and I KNOW ill cop flak for this comment.....I may look intently at her during a closet than is normal moment..... "It's ok....... I want to kiss you too"...... Then go back to what jobs you were doing). Observe her behaviour when doing these things to see if she responds positively. I think I've done that. Just not in a closet.
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madferrret
11 years ago
Quoting 'Stir_it_alot' All the ladies have given great advice. But .... One thing to remember about approaching anyone is your personality. Your personality must be on display NOT your desires. One thing I know that has been a drop kick to the face in my approaches has been the question "what do I say, and do to flick that immediate "I want your sex" button in this woman? The answer is nothing. You cannot consciously flick a switch here, turn a dial there like you're trying to find the tits on sbs. Your personality, and your confidence does that all for you. So..... Only YOU know this woman and really, not one of us can give you a line, a phrase that will be able to help. - Posted from rhpmobile or what i do lol use the jedi mind trick..............gestures with hand .... this is the cock your looking for ... lmao
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ooh has DG come out of the closet? :P
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
For the pedants... nowm that Im on the PC Ok so this comment may not be what you want to hear, but you asked for opinions. I say.... do nothing. She's married.... I'd be none too impressed if some guy hit in my wife.... So that's the bit you didn't want to hear. Now... for the rest. You have no idea about the nature if her relationship just as she has no idea of yours. However you do know you have your own wife's permission. So if this married woman is flirting and giving the usual signs of interest.... change nothing that you've been doing and allow HER to make the decision to progress.... which you can encourage by only slightly raising the "temperature" of your flirting through eye contact that is prolonged 1-2 seconds longer than usual, the occasional expressive touch during conversation, and the occasional slight knowing smile. ( We're it me, and I KNOW ill cop flak for this comment.....I may look intently at her during a closeR than is normal moment..... and say ... ...."It's ok....... I want to kiss you too"...... Then go back to what jobs you were doing). Observe her behaviour when doing these things to see if she responds positively. But again, I stress..... you don't know her marital situation, so let HER make the decision. You can tell her your open marriage circumstances once that threshold has been crossed.
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RHP User
11 years ago
..politely ask if she'd like to lie down while you have one.
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RHP User
11 years ago
To which my reply might be "well...it needs ironing :p" - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Welcome to the exciting world of swinging, and lucky you to have a wife that in full agreement. I would hope that the both of you have done your research and understand the pitfalls that those new to this may encounter. There is plenty online for you and your wife to read if you have not already done so. As for the "super spunky" lady at work, you have nothing to lose by asking. What is the worst that could possibly happen. LOL a slap in the face and a sexual harassment case, but I would say the odds of that are far less than the odds she says, "Hell yes I have waiting for you to make your move, hope you have some condoms as my place is just around the corner, do you mind if my girlfriend joins in." As only about 2% of married couples are into open relationships (Hate the term "monogamish" sounds so indecisive.) she will most likely decline your offer. As you lack experienced this will be part of the learning process. Gracefully accepting rejection is just as important as the proposition. I guaranty that she will tell her friends and who knows , she may have an equally "super spunky" girlfriend that is really keen on the idea. I have turned rejection around simply by my reaction. Most men will sulk off and treat the rejection as if the lady does not want to have anything to do with them. This is not at all the fact, there are a million reasons she would say no. She may well find you attractive and likes you. What every you do no not sulk, do not ignore her, do not ask WHY. (its none of your business.) This world is full of available spunky women, it wont take long for you to find your feet again. You learn from both success and failure. Success brings you confidence, failure gives you wisdom, its win win. Before you know it you will be able to tell if a woman is into you just by the way she looks at you and you wont have to put up with that voice in your head saying (I could be fooling myself, but a man can dream.) Oh and one last bit of advice. Be proactive, the best time to do anything is now. So next time you see her ask. Dont think to much about it or what you will say. Oh never ask directly for a shag, (This is where so many men fail) but never deny that you would love to have her. With out me knowing her personality, something like "Your a very attractive woman and I would like to ask. Are in an open relationship?" all done and you will have your answer. Happy hunting and best of luck.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Two bobs worth from the female half - there isn't essentially anything wrong with your opening line. Best outcome - you use it & it results in a fabulously sensual outcome, bringing pleasure to both you & your wife. Good outcome - she says 'ah I'm not down for the sex but let's have a drink anyway' (worse things than having a drink with someone you're attracted to even if it's all it will ever be). Shaky outcome - she says 'f*ck off dude' you apologise & explain its nothing she said or did to for you to think she may be interested, rather please accept it as a compliment & never shall I speak of it again - this is done like a gentlemen not the man you would be at outcome one! Worserer outcome - she slaps your face (not really likely if she's an evolved person) & turns on her heel - oh well at least you won't be working together forever...Worst outcome - she gets her steroid filled maniac husband to tear you a new a**hole (far fetched I know). So yeah prepare for all those scenarios but trust your instinct. As for your confidence - sure 17 years is a while but if your wife has been by your side then you must have it - after all her opinion is the main one that counts. The mind being the most powerful sexual organ should guide you to be yourself, don't dumb it down, like most things you will still have 'it'. Also the advice to let your wife whisper in her ear is hot as hell - might just work?? (See all of the above scenarios & throw in a few more) Good luck. Have fun. Dont over analyse. M - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Oh definitely from an unseen fast pace rear vector....and straight up her butt.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Tiny world. Hilarious.Love it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If she's shown some interest then approach her exactly the same as any other woman. there is such thing as being "too honest" start slow, don't try and push any agenda other than getting to know her better. As that develops, drop subtle hints as to your marriage status. Gauge the reaction. Don't let the just friends thing go too long otherwise you will end up being a "great friend, too valuable to lose by complicating things with sex". Other than that, you're going to have to wing it a bit.
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