F40
Bit of a vent.
January 14 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
You seem to know what you want ,but people have a right to change their minds if they don't want to go further. Just put it down to life and don't try to over think it. If they have a drinks night in your part of town attend it,best way to meet heaps of people in one go.The Sydney drinks night is on this saturday night ,we gonna rock it ! Us humans are just weird !
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RHP User
11 years ago
ideally it would be nice if guys were more upfront and honest. Its could be because they don't like to hurt peoples feelings, which is ironic because that is what ends up happening. Try not to take it personally...easier said than done, we know.
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flimac
11 years ago
This place has in the past given me some great experiences, but of late I'm had every asshole under the sun contact me. Hence I'm out of here, been here long enough and had enough of the bs a plus of late I swear they've all been stalker types! Ill still be about the forums no doubt but profile is closing down for a while if not for good I think - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Urgh it just shites me! I know everyone has right to change their mind so just be upfront about it afterwards! And your totally right Couple Swap, that and I guess I wanna know did I do something wrong? I want to learn from my experiences you know! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Oh the ongoing lament of the RHP newbie. There is no simple answer to your inquiry or should I say there is no one reason for what is the same outcome. What comes to mind though is did you contact them back? Would not be the first time that two people sit in mutual frustration awaiting the others move. If you have made the first move and there is no response you are best to give the benefit of the doubt, missed messages, forgot to reply. Many long term RHP users have learnt to treat people with a cautious level of detachment. Its the nature of the game.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've been on it years ago but Jesus guys have changed! Of course I contacted them back saying a had a great night and so on.. So why is it that hard to reply with NOT INTERESTED?! It's just kinda the nice thing to do isn't it? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
for not being honest in your intentions and not giving clear and decent closure. Sure, you can string people along to get laid, but that just makes you an asshole. And you can go silent after you've laid them, but that also makes you an asshole. So ... don't be an asshole. Simple. OP, the world's full of people who navigate it differently than you or I do. They might well be complete toss pots but it's not worth getting aggravated by that, just live and let live I reckon. There's enough hostility in the world.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Applies in the "normal" world, applies in this colorful world.
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
I've found that problem can pretty much be solved if you go to drinks nights and meet people.. Also make lots of gfs on here... They don't need to be sexual.. but its great to have the support from like minded people... Run your dates handle names past them... This has saved me from a few near disasters lol xx
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
Sorry Kizza x
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
Interesting blog. Given the high ratio of men to women on here, a lament of men disappearing. Perhaps now know how the majority of men feel. Not saying its right, just shit happens.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Your profile isnt even that.... different..... in what you seek.... so I suggest that isnt where your hopes are being affected. Now obviously we're not privy to your email conversations, but if those arent leading to a meet which leads to the experiecnes you seek.... ... then you're just not having those conversations with the right people. Which in itself is a bit odd..... as given the profiles, comments and behaviour of many of the guys in here.... it seems like they'd fuck roadkill. So.... what is happening in your "auditioning" process? DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Or is this a dig at the few you've met? Bad roots?
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RHP User
11 years ago
As in our regular everyday lives, not everyone is going to be into you. It takes time to find a suitable FWB. Hang in there and it will happen. Its great to be assertive, confident and know what you want ... but a little humility and a sense of humour goes a long way to making you come across and a genuine person that guys want to get to know. Your profile says you are looking for a FWB, so developing a friendship, sexual or not, can take time. If they don't get back to you after meeting then there must be a reason. Either they aren't into you, they don't get what a FWB entails or something you may be saying is off putting. Any how it is their right to not want to take things further. IMHO, most people want to be with someone that appreciates them for who they are and not just what they can bring to the table, (except those whose agenda is to fuck and run). The most important thing is to have chemistry and a mutual connection. Don't be in a hurry to find someone as it can come across as desperate. Be choosy... but not demanding. Chill out and what you are looking for will come to you. As a newbie of only a couple of weeks, you are still honing your skills at screening for potential suitable FWB partners. If all the above seems too much trouble then you may actually be seeking a Fucky Buddy not FWB. Just my thoughts, hope it helps. SF
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chevtrek
11 years ago
I thought this was a mans complaint as womenalways give men the run around.But serious you have put yourself on the fenceas in one side relationship and the other FWB.Most people want one or the other not a fencesitter.That way if he likes you enough he can pursuea relationship or you put FWB then he knowsthat's all you want.Last of all there is the man who just wants toscore so its hit and run. LOL.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yep I'm hearing u girl re bull shit n no contact :( u should try being one of the honest guys on here... These tools really fuk it up for us guys that just want a chance at laughs n some simply adult fun without any other hassles :))
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RHP User
11 years ago
DG there are lots of men that are all talk and no action. Look at the number of women who can't arrange a gang bang because the guys are all keen but on the day they don't show. Look at all the events and the lists of single guys who always express an interest in attending but never show. Some guys are just all talk & when a woman takes them up on what they are offering they don't actually know what to do with it. o.O
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RHP User
11 years ago
Always best to vent. Hang in there as it does appear there must be at least 200 guys per girl on here Wow out
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is it because I do what I say I'm gonna do in my profile.. Not just say I do it and not follow through? Am I too straightforward that it scares them away after because they don't know what to do next? I'm a pretty sexual person obviously I know what I want.. So is that scary for guys to hear? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've been on here for a while now. As a guest and a member. What is the status of your male catch up losses. . Are they guest's, one precious message doesn't go far on here in a guest's capacity. I've had meets that are one offs, and it's ok, the thrill of a first meet with a stranger can be all some guy's are looking for. Admittedly my profile doesn't say I'm looking for them, I just go with the flow and see what happens, no expectations. Have you considered that sexual chemistry was missing? And they've chosen to look elsewhere or not reallllyyyyyyy looking for fwb. This site isn't perfect, just like the people on it. Chalk it up to experience and look at it as a learning curve. You'll find fwb where you least expect it, and I hope that the few bad experiences don't stop you from being exactly who you are. You can't please everyone.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Dimbarses - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Logic would indicate that avoiding those guys selling their sexual resume and talking a big game should be avoided DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
The women of rhp would do well to focus on me... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it... Bwahahaha 😄😄😄😄 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Absolutely agree.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It can be very annoying the "not knowing" bit... Unfortunately my dear it's not just the fellas that pull the silent(or block) treatment I'm afraid... I try and take it as it is... and not take it personally but then again... easier said than done as I'm a big believer in manners go ALONG way! G xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
So easy to make assumptions as to whys. A women messages a guy and out of politeness (lord forbid you dont reply) he returns the message, they strike up a conversation, find some mutual interest and then the girl wants to meet. Oh hum another coffee over small talk, but then etiquette dictates you must, this is a dating site (of sorts) after all. The two meet and as they both or one lacks to ability to speak their mind the whole thing becomes a futile exercise in social politeness. The imbalance of attraction then results in the inevitable feelings of rejection. msbehvn85:I'm a pretty sexual person obviously I know what I want.. So is that scary for guys to hear?Not at all, guys love women that know what they want, I would say that is one of the biggest turn ons there is for guys. But knowing what you want and effectively communicating that is where many fail. I have lost count of the number of "coffee" dates I have been on. Sometimes the moment you meet you are looking for an exit, other times its all go, the mutual attraction is there, conversation flowing and all is good. Then you learn something about the other that just is not your style. Despite hitting it off and having a good time you know that you will never see that person again.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've decided to put my name on the under 35s pleasure lounge list for this Saturday nights event. Hopefully I'll have some different luck there?! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Violet, too true, lol. Its a case of people being genuine and replying to messages/flirts so the sender knows whether you want to meet or not. If not, then no drama move on. If you decide to meet then stick to the arrangement and if something cropps up then let the person know as early as possible. Hey you are all beautiful people, stay naked, loosen up and have fun, hey. Don
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its fine , i have been called worse than liza !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its all about the suburb to me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well, I read this on your profile. "I want a FWB thing, and if we get along then I personally will dedicate my time to you until it's decided to move on, I don't expect the same in return." And to me this sentence is a little confusing. You are saying you will dedicate time for your lover, but don't expect the same from said lover. And having fuck buddies that care far less than you do about them, is the problem right? I would also suggest changing your method of selection. You state that messaging back and forth is a waste of time - and those interested in you have to be ready for action. To me, that is a fatal error on your behalf. If you don't want flakes, spend the time messaging them before meeting. That way you can truly gauge someone's personality and interest before meeting.
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discreet_liasons
11 years ago
That kind of behavior isn't the sole domain of the male of the species. I think it's a fear of confrontation or the awkwardness of telling the other person. I've seen ugly reactions to rejection and it does feel bad to tell someone they just don't turn you on but I do think it's a better to politely say it won't proceed. Don't take it to heart just shrug it off and move forward. There's someone for everyone and sometimes several. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
@ blindman You say....."A women messages a guy and out of politeness (lord forbid you dont reply) he returns the message, they strike up a conversation, find some mutual interest and then the girl wants to meet. Oh hum another coffee over small talk, but then etiquette dictates you must, this is a dating site (of sorts) after all. The two meet and as they both or one lacks to ability to speak their mind the whole thing becomes a futile exercise in social politeness. The imbalance of attraction then results in the inevitable feelings of rejection." If have thought it not only logical.... but a prudent use if time to avoid wasting future time..... to use that phone call/s.... to determine that you WILL get on rather well.... before deciding to commit your time to meeting. I think in here, so many people are in a rush to meet anyone who just replies because of the challenges in just getting a reply. DG - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
After 6 years on here and other sites I no longer bother with the coffee meets as I feel it is a total waste of time. When contacted I am very up front about what I am looking for and happy to list out the flaws in my personality, situation, and whatever else may be relevant. Then if they still show an interest and if they can hold a descent conversation on the phone will I even consider meeting. I expect that the first meeting should be in more intimate surrounding, like a club, party, or their place. I am not a sample in a mixed sample box for women to have a random nibble of. If you want to taste its all or nothing and they have to have something yummy to offer in return. There are exceptions to this, but that is for people for whom I have no intimate desires. Friendships are just as important as lovers as long as the distinction is clearly understood.
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
I love nibbling at sample boxes... Lol x
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RHP User
11 years ago
sometimes it can also turn around and bite us on the ass. I went on a meet, 2 months ago. We talked for a week first and seemed compatible. Day of the meet was a disaster, all her photos were very old and she had put on a lot of weight. I talked to her that night and explained I wasn't into her physically and boy did I cop it for the next couple of weeks.... I received prank calls from lots of different numbers and all kinds of abuse. I'm just lucky it was a public meet and she didn't know where I lived... Anyway damned if you do and damned if you don't. Also it seems people want different things these days. I would love some great sex, even as FWB, but I don't lie about what I'm looking for, I want to find love. But it seems a lot of women just want to have fun these days. Some of my best relationships have been with friends I have known for years and one day ended up in bed with. So for me FWB does not mean that there will never be a relationship. Just that it starts out as friends having sex and maybe leading to more. Can you honestly say that if you met the right man, that it won't progress into more?I should also say that I once had FWB situation and we never progressed into a relationship stage too, and it was a great just to fuck each others brains out when we were horny. As for the guys that just meet/fuck and run, without even letting you know why or not even a "no thanks", that's just rude. Everyone has an ideal partner in their mind and if you don't match, you could at least have the balls to be truthful. God knows I'm not the fittest being in a wheelchair, but at least I don't do a disappearing act or fuck and roll away lol. Not all guys just want to fuck and run either. Some of us like cuddles and talking after sex a lot :DAnyway, best of luck.
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RHP User
11 years ago
common courtesy goes a long way.
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