F56
Bitterness, Head Fucks and cancelled memberships
May 28 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
You have to have your shit sorted to be on RHP otherwise the easy sex mentality can really mess with people's heads. I think people come here when they are after experimentation and lots of sex. Particularly after a LTR breakup. There are also some of us who would like a more substantial friendship. Most of us get bored of it after awhile and people start wanting more than casual sex. This online dating thing gets mighty boring!! I would have left years ago if it wasn't for the forums and they too get boring.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think there are a lot of damaged people on RHP.
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
I don't think cancelled memberships is the sole domain of RHP. Look back through RSVP & other dating sites & there is a lot of inactive profiles. As far as damaged people on here, they are on every site in different guises. Perhaps peoples expectations of this & other sites is to high. Maybe they think they don't have to work at it. I do smile when you read profiles that say they have no baggage or its stored away. I think only other people can know how your baggage is, they are the ones interacting with you. There is a song out at the moment that has the line" Dreams take so long to happen & are so quick to go" I think people are after whatever it is they are after instantly. I don't think it is just this site that messes with people, its the hope of finding & it not happening. We have got used to the idea Google can provide the answer.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Someone summed it up for me by saying 'There are a lot of fruit loops on RHP' I'm relatively new and just dip my toe in now and then. I am somewhat confused by some of the responces I get and am not sure how to interpret. Not good at reading between the lines, more a tone of voice, body language guy. Having said that, the forums are interesting and mind opening and some of the funnier people are on here, who I wouldn't mind meeting. I think you can't take the responces on the sites too seriously or dwell on them or you'll never get an answer. The sites are only a narrow cross selection and I don't know if they represent the community as a whole. . . . Did any of that make any sense? :)
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jensta
12 years ago
A lot of people with Issues online Negative & Judgemental I feel Sad for them ...Its a much better life when your HAPPY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Personally I would have to say yes it can be a bit of a head fuck that burns some people out . I put my profile on hold for 2 years when i was working oaver seas and it didn't bother me as i was over paying membership to send messages with no replys and go into the chat room to be over typed by the clicky little group of chatters. I think that is what pisses most people off. Yes there a vast array of reasons people do not reply to every message as we have read in many forums but i believe the vast majority of people move on with little reaction to a thanks but no thanks. Call me different but i was taught always to be polite even if the other person shits you to tears. At the moment i am content with just checking out the forums and the odd profile here and there until that one special one sparks some interest. It could be a bit of a head fuck for people that believe they are gods gift to man kind and don't end up getting the instant results that they want.
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Paradisepair
12 years ago
I imagine there's a few folks out there who delete to reinvent themselves as 'fresh meat' but also others who once they've found what they were looking for - or not - choose to delete to remove the fact that they were here...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think a lot just get on to try it or see how it goes for something new. Singles especially that are new to the game. Some couples just don't last as it seemed like a good idea at the time but realised it wasn't for them. I have known a few couples that are now no longer because of lifestyle.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have no idea what you are referring to. lol
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
I think the majority of people have a natural lifespan in sites such as this. All things come to an ultimate conclusion, be it disillusionment, relationship, or they just moved on. There are bitter people everywhere, and they were likely that way before they decided to join, some grew bitter in here, some find solutions and some cruise through life just as they always did. But the world outside RHP is MUCH bigger than the world within it, and how you are in here is going to be his you are out there. DG- Posted from rhpmobile
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ruby_blossum
12 years ago
and see all the blank spots.Many of the past posters have returned under a different name for many reasons.Yes, some have been badly burntsome really not ready for the rhp experiencesome just to stir the pot for their own childish amusementsome banned under their original namesome have taken a break and returned all brand new.Personally, I do think you need to have a certain outlook and confidence within yourself to survive mentally- emotionally on here, too many do see this site as an opportunity to play mind games and many are not stong enough to cope with that.
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Lifes_great
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I think there are a lot of damaged people on RHP. At least we all know where to come
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RHP User
12 years ago
This is consistent with just about everything on the internet. If you want to look up an old article, discussion or what ever resource, the chances are that it's gone. Of course, there are exceptions.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Looks like SuperFox has left the building.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why?
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP, I think sites like RHP can only fuck with people's heads of those heads were fuckable to start with. You won't get bitter and twisted here if you didn't have those tendencies already. My 2 cts
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' OP, I think sites like RHP can only fuck with people's heads of those heads were fuckable to start with. You won't get bitter and twisted here if you didn't have those tendencies already. My 2 cts Nobody is responsible for the way people treat them...Only how they react to it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe they all found their one true love and settled done into some old fashioned monogamous happy ever after?
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RHP User
12 years ago
And I'm sorry if it's affected anybody I've met from here. But what happens on RHP has little to do with my confidence offline. I know I'm gorgeous!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
That's right, hence my point that you need to have your shit relatively sorted out to be on these sorts of sites. If you have some issues you need to work through or are in a vulnerable state I think RHP is not the place for you because it will play with your head.
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RHP User
12 years ago
think it depends on how much priority you give it, how much energy you expend and how well you have your shit together.If any of those are out of whack, then vulnerable people can allow themselves to be affected by the negativity and rejection I suspect.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi folks. I have my shit well and truly together, and I've been a member here on and off for 5 years (!). Recently I was burned very badly so I took a break, got perspective and came back when I was ready. I think you definitely have to have good self-esteem and a good sense of perspective to ride the RHP roller coaster.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Nudierudie2'Nobody is responsible for the way people treat them... My favourite mantra: You teach people how to treat you. I've read too many posts by members (just using women as an example) on here saying things like "The first message wasn't great, but I thought maybe that was just me. His second message was a bit rude, but I thought I'd give him a chance. He refused to talk on the phone but I accepted that, as perhaps he was a bit shy. And then the bastard stood me up! How dare he, all guys on here are the same!!" Yes ladies, maybe he is an arsehole, but if you let him treat you like one from the start then aren't you at least partly responsible for the outcome? I really wish more people realised their own issues dictate a lot of their experiences here.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' Quoting 'Nudierudie2'Nobody is responsible for the way people treat them... My favourite mantra: You teach people how to treat you. I've read too many posts by members (just using women as an example) on here saying things like "The first message wasn't great, but I thought maybe that was just me. His second message was a bit rude, but I thought I'd give him a chance. He refused to talk on the phone but I accepted that, as perhaps he was a bit shy. And then the bastard stood me up! How dare he, all guys on here are the same!!" Yes ladies, maybe he is an arsehole, but if you let him treat you like one from the start then aren't you at least partly responsible for the outcome? I really wish more people realised their own issues dictate a lot of their experiences here.Well put Mz_Devious
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RHP User
12 years ago
There's more baggage passing through here than Heathrow.A Jehova's Witness would struggle with all the rejection.There's less competition in used cars, and more fakes here than a Bangkok street market.If you can navigate all that, then there's ever present risk of forum suicide.What could possibly go wrong?The simplest explanation is usually true though, and while there's some great theories above, I think we need to look at the very real possibility that it's a CIA conspiracy.Mr C in a tin foil hat.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I think there are a lot of damaged people on RHP. ---I think there are a lot of damaged people everywhere, its just that sites like RHP make it more obvious.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Will your tin hat be at the next Angel & Demon night at CC? :P
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' I really wish more people realised their own issues dictate a lot of their experiences here. When you come to a place like this with issues they are only going to be amplified.Luckily for us our issues are mostly limited to having too much fun with new friends, boldly going where we haven't been before, and maybe attention seeking in online forums Mr C
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Will your tin hat be at the next Angel & Demon night at CC? :P I think we were just waiting for your invitation!
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RHP User
12 years ago
See you there on the 7th. :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
hmmm, guess who lands in Sydney mid afternoon that day!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Karyn. See you there then. Should we meet for a drink first?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Care to take this convo to the Anything thread before this one gets deleted? I'll be waiting there...
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N4November
12 years ago
Too many bring their own agenda and expectations. The epic fail starts there for most I think and is the basic formula for failure. When I joined RHP, I had an open mind and a game plan for fun - but through my own doing!! Expect nothing and wow, the world opened doors that I never even knew existed. I also reckon that if you're a bit fucked up in real life, your experiences here will be no different because RHP is only a conduit to interact with people and you can't be someone you're not no matter how hard you try. If people are telling you you're a wanker @ work then the bitches from here are saying the same? Yep buddy, it's you! I think most people don't stay because they never displayed an image of their authentic self in the first place. Again, they bring their agendas and then don't have the stamina to keep up the pretence. I'm a great believer that like attracts like and that mantra has worked extremely well in the past and also stay switched on for the fakers. I just RHP would delete their profiles after a period of inactivity. What do you think?
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RHP User
12 years ago
For men who have just left a relationship or are struggling irl to find one, the hyper competitive nature of dating sites is soul destroying.I realise that many come here with distorted or false ideals of what it may do for them (unlimited free sex) lol. But never the less the reality is harsh.Then they see the women having a smorgasbord of men that aren't them, and bitterness, helplessness and despair follow.There is no right or wrong about it it just is.
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RHP User
12 years ago
i have introduced some old friends to the on-line dating game, but they became disillusioned and at times down right repulsed by some of the guys on here. Well they gave it a try and guess they are happy with the random pub pick up and whirlwind romance that turns sour. Then back to the pub. Some move on, find love and close their profile, some just lose interest. Many more sites then just RHP (lord forbid) some don't like the format.BayGirl.. Fakers, well I never. Who would lie on a totally anonymous dating site? lolMy first experience with online dating was in 1989 before the internet. The good old days of dial up Bulletin boards. Nothing has changed in the 24 years since then, and a large pinch of salt is needed to keep at it.So cheers to all the stayers, kisses to all the fakers (love ya despite your selves) and hugs to all the lovers that keep me here. xxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think it can only draw forth tendencies that people already have Quoting 'Ms_Devious' OP, I think sites like RHP can only fuck with people's heads of those heads were fuckable to start with. You won't get bitter and twisted here if you didn't have those tendencies already. My 2 cts
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RHP User
12 years ago
It is unfortunate, however, that many do NOT have their head sorted before they get here! Quoting 'Meeka100'That's right, hence my point that you need to have your shit relatively sorted out to be on these sorts of sites. If you have some issues you need to work through or are in a vulnerable state I think RHP is not the place for you because it will play with your head.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Couldn't agree more. If guys are not liked in real life, they won't be liked here when meeting someone. Sure, on paper we are all great but it's hard to keep up the pretence when being face-to-face with someone. And even with forum posters I find it easy now to see who's real and who is not. People can only keep up the facade for so long. And ladies, if you're a yes-saying people pleaser with body and self-esteem issues in real life, you will be treated like a doormat here too.
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RHP User
12 years ago
For most of us this is a learning and you get it or you go. For some who are bitter and angry after being on this site, had all the wrong expectations in the first place.No one waits for you, so get over yourself and be honest straight out and state what you want. But don't expect everybody to likes you or your profile.What I can see, only the very disappointed people speak badly of any site they have been on and didn't get what they thought they deserved, and I use the word deserve.......no one deserves anything.I think the bottomline on here or any site, just take everything with a grain of salt, be true to yourself, when other people can't handle this, so be it, you are not on here to please other people, you are on here to please yourself. Don't play games with no one and be happy, smile, joke, play and fuck when you like too. Everybody has baggage and everybody is to someone a nutcase. So what, that's life. I am one, I mean a nutcase, I write long letters and I like to be noted, for the quick fuckers I am a total nutcase for the more poetic males I am a dream. Do I care? yes how dare he didn't get me, but I get over myself move on and laugh.Where I stand, I say, I love being on here, I get as much or as little as I like, so I enjoy, even the players, the shy, the forceful, the downright shitheads, I say thank you.... how else do I have the opportunist to learn and get such an insight in some men's life. Yes this is only a cyber world but hey none the less a part of the world now, and the longer you are in it the more you get it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Prequel.... NudieRudie2... have I told you recently how cute your picturesque posterior is??? 3 answers to your questions.. all the same NO NO NO Anyone who thinks that websites like this are scary or breed a certain type of person are kidding themselves... I know for a fact that the people that try to get away with things on the NET actually do exactly the same thing in "THE REAL WORLD" A person doesn't change their characteristics just like a leopard doesn't change its spots. People are no different on the net than what they are in real life...The only thing that differentiates the real world to the internet is that its WAY more public.... These same people will try and get away with the same thing in real life IF NOT MORE... due to the lack of exposure and false pretence train of thought. Gimme the net anyday..I get to use my senses of judgement and perception Ive gained for the past 16 years. Too many weirdos out there in the real world.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' Quoting 'Nudierudie2'Nobody is responsible for the way people treat them... My favourite mantra: You teach people how to treat you. I've read too many posts by members (just using women as an example) on here saying things like "The first message wasn't great, but I thought maybe that was just me. His second message was a bit rude, but I thought I'd give him a chance. He refused to talk on the phone but I accepted that, as perhaps he was a bit shy. And then the bastard stood me up! How dare he, all guys on here are the same!!" Yes ladies, maybe he is an arsehole, but if you let him treat you like one from the start then aren't you at least partly responsible for the outcome? I really wish more people realised their own issues dictate a lot of their experiences here. And that is what i inferred from my rather broad statement... " Only how you react to it"If you accept less than desirable treatment then you are indicating that you accept the consequences of that less than desirable treatment.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There is another drinks night planned ? When and where please !If your all good i might come !As for this place being a head fk i think alot of people have left here because ,its always crashing,chat room kicks you out,and then because some people have had bad experiences.Like the time i went to drinks night and.......&^%$#@$%^&*()*&^%$$ happened!
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DynamicCouple36
12 years ago
We have been on RHP for a few weeks now and there are indeed some strange people out there, and plenty "men" posing as couples, who then become quite aggro when they dont get their way. Many just want to take a look at one's private albums, again pretending to be a couple, and when one asks them to prove, that they are both into all of this, they either become abusive or just vanishWe are also on another site, SH, and the same thing happens there, although just a lot worse and far more feral.We suppose that a sex and or swingers site seems to also attract the wrong people. One has to take the good with the bad we suppose.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think people in general do get a bit upset when they feel rejected by someone.We all want to be liked.Some people accept that its not meant to be if they are rejected and some people go the other way.They turn bitter and get abusive.Sure this place can play with your emotions ,best thing to do is just have a break for a while and come back refreshed.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Kizza1973' I think people in general do get a bit upset when they feel rejected by someone.We all want to be liked.Some people accept that its not meant to be if they are rejected and some people go the other way.They turn bitter and get abusive.Sure this place can play with your emotions ,best thing to do is just have a break for a while and come back refreshed. Actually i don't think that anyone who is honest with themselves can say that they embrace rejection...personally myself i can take constructive criticAnd I can honestly say having said that when one feels the sting of l rejection..... it makes one think twice about the persona one portrays.this place can only play with your emotions if you let it.!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Nudierudie2' Quoting 'Kizza1973' I think people in general do get a bit upset when they feel rejected by someone.We all want to be liked.Some people accept that its not meant to be if they are rejected and some people go the other way.They turn bitter and get abusive.Sure this place can play with your emotions ,best thing to do is just have a break for a while and come back refreshed. Actually i don't think that anyone who is honest with themselves can say that they embrace rejection...personally myself i can take constructive criticAnd I can honestly say having said that when one feels the sting of l rejection..... it makes one think twice about the persona one portrays.this place can only play with your emotions if you let it.! No one makes you feel this or that, its a choice!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think one of the main reasons of people getting enough of it is time wasters.... I know girls get bombarded, but if you have time to read my message, surely a "no thanks" if you don't like my profile isn't too hard or time consuming? And then there is those only after a chat, nothing more. That's fine, but say so. I'm not here just to chat... And then there is those that after a message or so say "i haven't got time".... I prefer rejection over feeding me bullshit! So some might have read between the lines by now, I too am a but over rhp, due to frustration by time wasters and keyboard players... On a happier note, I've met some nice girls too, but they are few and far between! I'm sticking with rhp till my membership runs out, then I'm off!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Doei!
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RHP User
12 years ago
not that I'm modest, it's just that stampedes are so undignified.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Does anyone really think it would be differnt on any other dating site? I had a shit experience on plenty of fish? Don't like particular the vanilla sites because its all smoke screen anyway. No one can tell me you go and sign up on this sites and don't expect to fuck.I believe people kidding themselves on there. And also I don't think you will find a partner for life on this sites also.Its just luck when you find a person who clicks with you really clicks with you.Everywhere you sign up with, you will find this kind of players, wonne bees, its just so. Don't get upset, delete them, say bye, say next, say fuck off.The ocean of RHP bis big and there are plenty of fish. Some are colorful and many are dull, and what is colorful for me is dull for you.Find your pool of fishies and you will be happy.
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RHP User
12 years ago
For a while there, when someone would delete their account, all posts written by them would disappear from the forums. This was well known and taken advantage of for while. This backfired in the long run when RHP resurrected ALL the old posts and then there were grey ghosts all over the place. So that would account for some of the deleted profiles I'm sure. In my experience, a lot of people delete their profiles because of the hard time they get in the forums. A lot of those as newcomers, those that survive the experience usually go on to become forum regulars. Forum regulars have their moments as well that the world or the forum gets on top of them and they'll leave and come back. That makes a lot of the people who have deleted their profiles for either reason, who could actually still be on RHP in other guises. It's quite fun when an old thread gets bumped up and those people will post on their new profiles commenting on their old posts. I'm all for reminiscing.Some people in the forum are full of crap and delete their account when they're busted. Or on the other hand, it looks like some leave because of accusations made in the forum that are not true. Hard to know in this dramatic world of ours.Yes, I imagine some become bitter, the double standards are shocking. Men are expected to pay membership and put lots of effort into writing messages and attracting attention only to be ignored rather than rewarded. That has to be soul destroying for some in the long run. The bad boys get more action than the good guys leading to more disappointment for most. Women are expected to be easily available only to cop outdated attitudes that they're sluts.
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