Bondage Fetish

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  gazpacho

  11 years ago

  I like having my hair pulled and my butt and balls slapped. Of course this may only be relevant should we ever meet in the right circumstances, but communication is a decent start. Just saying. Hugs Gazpacho

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Why don't you have a bit of fun and do a bit of research together? You could to a lovers guide to 50 shades like they do in Paris for the Da Vinci code. Just without all the 'Hollywood'.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  23 yr faithful vanilla relationship and my sister gave me the book..... Oh little did she know........ Hubby and I had great fun visiting the local 'toy' store... The clerk was really helpful and very knowleable, surprise, surprise.... It was also kind of kinky, well at the time lol.

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  luvsilver

  11 years ago

  (if I am correct in my thinking) Good to see you back. The Luvsilvers

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Shibari. Ok, I'll stop drooling for a moment and be serious. I haven't read a single one of the 50 shades series but from what I've been told it is POLES apart from reality. OK. Safety concerns for ANY BDSM play is paramount. If you don't know what you are doing, don't do it. Join FetLife and go to Skill Share workshops. Even basic bondage requires the knowledge that you don't constrict blood flow, leave anyone alone, etc. I know it sounds like dumb arse 101, but it isn't. You really need to take this seriously, and I bless you for asking. There are a million online tutorials, watch them all. Whether it be basic tie up, through to wax play or getting your heavy on with suspension rigging, don't try and fudge it, you can hurt people as it feels soooo good at the time and you think you are doing fine when you can cause serious harm. It's not a game. *Serious hat back off* Back to the basics, have a safe word, best bet is the traffic light system where green is fine, orange is "I'm challenged' but OK and as soon as you hear the word 'red' you STOP. Immediately. Then comfort and discuss what happened. Even after a successful play, aftercare is imperative. Make sure she knows she can say 'red' at anytime without judgement or ramifications. All scenes should be discussed and planned out prior to play. I know this sounds contrived, but it is necessary, especially if you are new to the scene. You may think she wanted 'abc' but she was really after 'xyz'. It will still be hot, just ensure you are both on the same page. No you can't call me names, yes you can slap my arse, forced orgasms are fine, spitting in my mouth isn't. It's a fucking long checklist, but worth it so there are no nasty surprises for her or you. But most of all, have fun. Just be safe, sane & consensual xxx

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  When someone tells me they are into BDSM I usually roll my eyes as there are only very very few that can handle it. Op you are looking for some dominance and submission role play, so go get a few crops, a feather duster, some padded cuffs a small length of rope and have some fun. Common sense is all you need and making it up as you go should be fine. I enjoy role playing and have a very imaginative imagination but even then I have to be careful with people. I lament as I have given up on looking for a submissive for all that have taken up the challenge in the past have failed me woefully. As for all that formalized and regimented bullshit it kind of defeats the purpose and for the level most are capable of is pointless. if you need someone to utter a safe word for you to know you have crossed the line you should not be playing to that level in the first place.

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  cbdlivin

  11 years ago

  MissKay has covered the really relevant points, like safe words and communication, I will just add in a couple of things I have for the just in case bits. 1. For all rope work I do, I have a specialised cutter that can separate the rope very fast, if any problems should develop. 2. First Aid Kit....rope burns are a bitch....should not happen but just pretend you are a boy scout and be prepared.3. Chains etc, thnigs that are metal used in bondage, I actually have a bolt cutter tucked away so can cut those chains.4. Handcuffs or Padlocks....things with keys...I have the key with me during play but also a spare set labeled in a draw, just in case during play the key goes missing, you do not want to freak someone out when you tell them you lost the key and you are not sure how to get those handcuffs off. These are just a few things I keep around, have yet to had to use any of these, other than the first aid kit for other uses in play....., but most importantly I am always prepared for that one time you need it in a scene. B

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Great advice from both of you. From experience be wary of real handcuffs, my fwb, a man in uniform, had a very awkward time explaining that one to his boss, when he needed some replacement cuffs - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  thanks everyone :) She wants a threesome tomorrow night too, its freaking hard to find a girl willing to do it, best opportunity ill ever have.

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  cbdlivin

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'eastgippygirl' Great advice from both of you. From experience be wary of real handcuffs, my fwb, a man in uniform, had a very awkward time explaining that one to his boss, when he needed some replacement cuffs - Posted from rhpmobile Another reason to avoid real cuffs is they can cause damage to a persons wrists if they pull to hard at them, I use Leather Cuffs myself.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Simplelife123' thanks everyone :) She wants a threesome tomorrow night too, its freaking hard to find a girl willing to do it, best opportunity ill ever have. There is no way you can organise that in less than 24 hours! Jeez... looks like she is domming you Simplelife not the other way around.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  No wonder my Dom is so happy with me - I'm dying to organise a threesome with another lady - I'd love to have him in control of two of us but with me still able to instruct her too. Yum...;)

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Find these 2 words provide lots of fun. An unexpected "resume" text in the middle of the day or after dinner (or when conversation gets boring 😝). The other party must repeat resume or ignore. Suspend is good when even if no boundaries have been crossed and your just tired of it ......or so excited that you need to stop and say "fuck that was good" 😝

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Meeka100' There is no way you can organise that in less than 24 hours! Jeez... looks like she is domming you Simplelife not the other way around. ROFLMAO!

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  gazpacho

  11 years ago

  Yeah, I agree. There's a fine art to being a competent dom. I'm no Dom but I know that calling yourself one is merely the start. You have to earn the badge. You need to do some extensive reconnaissance. Get out and about in the scene and watch, discuss, talk and learn. Oh..., and Man up, lad, and demand that your sub wait obediently until you are ready for her to earn your attention, otherwise she may never respect you in the morning. Personally, I think she ought be punished, not rewarded, don't you? Hugs Gazpacho

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Simplelife123' thanks everyone :) She wants a threesome tomorrow night too, its freaking hard to find a girl willing to do it, best opportunity ill ever have. I would like to know, did you manage to organise your threesome? How was it? Do tell.

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