F47
Born or bred???
April 07 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well focus this is a favourite topic of mine - having a son whose father died when he was 10 weeks old has given me much opportunity to ponder this.... Both his father and I were highly sexed and in fact he was the first man who made me question how far I may be able to go with this sexual nature of mine. My son is very much the player although he has recently met "the one" so I think genetics definatly play a part with sexuality. My family have always said that i have "my mothers tits and my fathers sex drive" a dangerous but fun combination lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
I might add that at least you mum was female, where as with a male son I had absolutely no idea what to do - so I had him standing up and sitting down at whim depending on what his bodily functions were dicatating. A wonder he grew up normal at all lol....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Going for Born focus. . I'm not sure any breeding technique, deliberate or otherwise, by solo/dual or even by wolves could affect you sexual preference of any gender. . It's in your make-up (next to the eye-liner)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi Focus, I think it's a bit of both and then throw in some free will. In large families (I have 4 sisters) there are always different personalities, sexuality and beliefs. I believe the :Nurture" guides but the Nature and Free Will take over. Otherwise we would all be the same and that would be toooo boring. Gotta love family reuniouns and everyone wanting to have their say :). xx
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RHP User
14 years ago
My father left when I was 5 and I was brought up by a strong independent mother (I'm straight). I did see my father again once when I was 25, about a week before he died. He was lazy prick who I have no respect for - but I'm completely the opposite in almost every way, so nature obviously didn't play a part in that aspect of my personality and I think this is true of a lot of my other personality traits. I'd agree with xxticklishxx on this one - I think nature does play a part in a persons sexuality as does their family upbringing to an extent. But a persons life experience also has an impact. It's all a nice complex mix
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RHP User
14 years ago
= NatureHow we are raised really has little impact on our more personal, permanent and pervasive traits.
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RHP User
14 years ago
i read a while back that it is the stress in the mother that controlls how you turn out...homosexual, straight, Bi...im expecting most of mine to be gay lol im not sure if i believe that but who knows...my exes family is very straight laced and the middle child has come out more gay than any gay man i know...he is more girl than me i think you are born that way and i think it all depends on how open sexually your family is as to how you deal with it as you get older a lot of people struggle with their sexuality because they are raised to see homosexual and Bi as wrong...but i think the fact, say you, are so comfortable about yours is because you were raised knowing there is nothing wrong with which ever way you decide to swing roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
When I look at my cousin who is homosexual, his father is a proud man, masculine in all respects, my niece who is bi, raised mainly by her father with her two brothers and the occassional girlfriend of her fathers, and my very own Focus, very strong willed, never gave into peer pressure, independant to a fault, generous to family and friends...bi and a subbie. l If you watch little kids at play, they will automatically gravitate towards dolls and trucks or guns. Even very young gilrs, maybe about a year old instinctively rock thier dolly. l Kittykat4u the second child was a boy, I was pregnant when the father left so yes I can understand how hard it is being a single woman and teaching a boy how to stand up to pee.
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RHP User
14 years ago
A bit off topic sorry but... I'm hearing ya with the toilet training. I was still with my ex husband at the time of toilet training my son BUT my ex was such a lazy prick he always sat down to pee :) I wasnt sure if my son would ever learn to stand up and do it lol
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RHP User
14 years ago
I being the only boy of five children and also the oldest will put my two cents in.OK I admit it, I do some times find myself sitting down to pee,hehe.My mother and father separated when I was young and many years later I got in touchwith my father.I seen good and bad qualities in both of us, so it seemed we shared but I chose not to be like himin other ways.I don't want to imagine him in a sexual way, that will scar me to much.But I will say that I was homophobic growing up and what opened my eyes was meeting my wife.I asked her if she would play with another woman and she said sure, if you play with a guy first.LOL.I think it all depends on what you feel comfortable with and how you deal with things around you.Do we have to be just like mum or dad, I don't think so.
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RHP User
14 years ago
can anyone else see the irony in talking children on one of Focus' threads hehehe i only have one boy amungst my 100 and i did worry about him being the only boy...i had to teach him to stand and pee lol but he is definately a boys boy..nothing girly there lol but i have a friend with a heap of kids and only one being a boy...he boy is the total oppisite to mine...he is very girly and feminine but then one of my girls yeah she will play with her "babies" but give her a car or truck and she is a happy little vegimite none of my girls are really girly girls but then neither am i...lol roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
You forgot one neice Fionabee who is bi - raised by her Mother no contact with her father until last week...oh yeah family reunions are fun in our family...lol.... . Krissy - you would have had one very tough time of it and I applaud you. I do have other siblings but only one who shares the same set of parents (both Mother and Father) and he swears he is straight - strangely enough he is actually very homophobic and yes Fionabee raised us both.... . Roxxy - its OK hun I thought of the irony posting it....lol... . Ticklish - I dont mind if you go off topic - we are still discussing children afterall (yes Roxxy I really did say tha...lol) . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well said Tonyerotic Ive always believed that we are attracted to the person, not what sex they are. Our parents teach & support us on our lifes journey, but as individuals it is our choice to choose who we are attracted to, its really just who we are. At the end of the day, its all about accepting peoples choices in life & expecting the same in return, sadly that is not always the case, but hey if were enjoying ourselves....life really is too short of not follow our dreams. I applaud all you solo mums, its not easy & the potty training is the pits, but damn those cuddles & smiles are well worth all we have to put up with. Hugs & kisses Jaz
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think that homosexuality may be genetic, as to think otherwise lends credibility to those who would suggest that gays and lesbians are somehow "broken" and in need of being fixed. In my experience, that's simply not the case - people feel very strongly about their sexual orientation if they're either heterosexual or homosexual.Bisexual may be a different case, though I claim no expertise. I suspect that an interest in sex with either gender is perhaps more the product of an open mind than a genetic predisposition. Is it fair to say that most bisexuals feel a preference for one gender but an acceptance of sex with the other? If so, that would support my position - if not, I may be farting smoke.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'xxticklishxx' A bit off topic sorry but... I'm hearing ya with the toilet training. I was still with my ex husband at the time of toilet training my son BUT my ex was such a lazy prick he always sat down to pee :) I wasnt sure if my son would ever learn to stand up and do it lol That'd be terrible... I mean he'd walk into a men's public toilet and assume the urinals were trays full of lollies or breathmints. Or worse still maybe get confused and try to poo in it. . I'm for nature. There's an awful lot of instinct in us the moment we are born. Nurture can fuck you up pretty bad though (not in terms of sexuality..). I'm awfully thankful that my parents are well adjusted normal people and I therefore managed to remain awesome (you know... the way I was born)..
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justswingingbi
14 years ago
I know a few gay people who knew from a very early age that they were gay, even if they didn't have a name for it yet. They had hetero relationships because that was what was expected of them and had hetero sex for the same reason. They grew up with their original birth parents (no divorce, no single parent families) and so you have to come to the conclusion that they were born that way. One friend went as far as joining the Mormon church in order to get them to "cure" her of being gay. She lasted a couple of years, then broke away with another female church member (they had fallen in love). Bisexuality I think can be learned though... Mr Justswinging never touched a guy until I begged him too... and when nothing fell off and he wasn't struck by lightening he thought he might just do it again...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' I'm awfully thankful that my parents are well adjusted normal people and I therefore managed to remain awesome (you know... the way I was born)..Ask JG's Mum one day if the Doctor smacked his arse when he came out! ... Might explain a lot ... *insert evil chuckle here*
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think our sexual orientation is something we are born with. I have known people that knew they were different from the moment they could put it into coherent thought. In days gone by, most people who had urges outside of the rigid morality of the times, suppressed or hid their feelings so that for the most part, we have no idea what sexual orientation our forbears were. Makes it a bit hard to prove any genetic based theorems but I think that if it isn't in the DNA somewhere I would be very surprised.As for nurture - If you raise a child in an atmosphere of tolerance and understanding they are more likely to follow an experimental path and to be open with their sexuality. Intolerance leads to unhealthy suppression. I met a lesbian couple who had a son and daughter and I often wonder how the kids turned out because the parents were very disparaging of men in general and never missed the opportunity to point this out to their children.As well as homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality and pansexuality I would also include kinksters as a subsection under those headings. In my case, as a young teenager I had an interest in BDSM and understood it but never explored that side of me until later in life. If you are reading this and still wondering whether to experiment sexually in any way, don't put it off, do it now!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT' I met a lesbian couple who had a son and daughter and I often wonder how the kids turned out because the parents were very disparaging of men in general and never missed the opportunity to point this out to their children. They are probably drawn to men because they think all women are intolerant, judgemental, disparaging bitches :-D
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' That'd be terrible... I mean he'd walk into a men's public toilet and assume the urinals were trays full of lollies or breathmints. Or worse still maybe get confused and try to poo in it. . WTF - JG I hope you are house trained! Pretty fucking big breathmints!!! hehehehehe Meeks
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' I think that homosexuality may be genetic, as to think otherwise lends credibility to those who would suggest that gays and lesbians are somehow "broken" and in need of being fixed. In my experience, that's simply not the case - people feel very strongly about their sexual orientation if they're either heterosexual or homosexual.Bisexual may be a different case, though I claim no expertise. I suspect that an interest in sex with either gender is perhaps more the product of an open mind than a genetic predisposition. Is it fair to say that most bisexuals feel a preference for one gender but an acceptance of sex with the other? If so, that would support my position - if not, I may be farting smoke. Nature and nurture definitely have parts to play in our evolving sexuality. I'm unsure though that sexuality can be passed down through genes. You may be hard wired to be hetero or homo but I don't think there's likely to be a gay gene. I'm absolutely positive there are gay jeans though :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'puppy' I'm absolutely positive there are gay jeans though :)They're those tight black skinny ones that every trendy dickhead in Brunswick seems to be wearing.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I would really question the suggestion that sexuality is genetic at a DNA level. I mean to say, genetics are a different set of chemical substances to the chemical reactions (triggers) that make me like baked pumpkin and my mother not like it. You can't learn to like baked pumpkin but with constant exposure I suppose you can grow accustomed to it... Given the choice, a person who was indifferent to baked pumpkin wouldn't go out of their way to order up a serve of it at the Hilton. On the other hand, a person who has never eaten pumpkin before might be reticent because of it's unusual texture and bright orange color. Once those inhibitions go, such a person might truly love it and prefer its sweetness over baked potato.... or they might remain indifferent to it... or they might dislike it... and stick with the pickled cabbage.I would expect that none of these interesting senses of taste are learnt or genetic. What is learnt is how you deal with your fears ... perhaps you've never tried baked pumpkin and wouldn't dare to eat it for fear of having a bad experience... none the less, although the reaction of fear is obviously innate, being encouraged to overcome your fears is the learnt factor here. That's the benefit of good parenting. Confronting situations as they arise with an open mind and an open heart. Your sexuality is just another sense... built in to your chemical composition, and individual.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
“Good taste is the excuse I've always given for leading such a bad life”HUgsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I would really question the suggestion that sexuality is genetic at a DNA level. I mean to say, genetics are a different set of chemical substances to the chemical reactions (triggers) that make me like baked pumpkin and my mother not like it. You can't learn to like baked pumpkin but with constant exposure I suppose you can grow accustomed to it... Given the choice, a person who was indifferent to baked pumpkin wouldn't go out of their way to order up a serve of it at the Hilton. On the other hand, a person who has never eaten pumpkin before might be reticent because of it's unusual texture and bright orange color. Once those inhibitions go, such a person might truly love it and prefer its sweetness over baked potato.... or they might remain indifferent to it... or they might dislike it... and stick with the pickled cabbage.I would expect that none of these interesting senses of taste are learnt or genetic. What is learnt is how you deal with your fears ... perhaps you've never tried baked pumpkin and wouldn't dare to eat it for fear of having a bad experience... none the less, although the reaction of fear is obviously innate, being encouraged to overcome your fears is the learnt factor here. That's the benefit of good parenting. Confronting situations as they arise with an open mind and an open heart. Your sexuality is just another sense... built in to your chemical composition, and individual.HugsStalky If sexuality is just another sense, how can it be built into ones chemical composition without being part of our genetic make-up? Or are you referring to neural pathways?Genetics doesn't always determine preferences as these can be altered by neural pathways that are determined by nurture. By the time we are old enough to realise we have the power of choice many of our preferences have been established.
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RHP User
14 years ago
As a species, we are born with basic primal instincts for survival and at the lowest level of Maslow's hierarchy are the needs for food, shelter, sex for procreation and depending on your interpretation of the "fight or flight" instinct...the need for security. | Without the capability to think...we would be breeding like rabbits and about every year from day one our beloved female companions would be throwing another litter. That's the very fundamental rule of Science 101 at a base level and why our species, which is one of the least capable at birth to survive or dominate this planet has managed to do so....and throw in our capacity to continue to grow and develop as the most intelligent species on the planet. Well, at least the one with the most intelligence that could use it to ensure it's survival and dominance...I am not so sure about socialization and integration with the rest of the planet. | After that...the dance begins. Our environment, society, media, and all forms of mental stimulus, good or bad, begin to shape our development which is then balanced by our own version of what is indeed our unique and separate reality. Game on...it's up to you to play the black cards, red cards, all of them or none of them or manage to pull up a pair of wild cards that you didn't even know were in the deck. | The simple answer is both. The highly complex answer is both. | If you are looking for a very good reason or hoping to find an excuse... | ....you will find both in either.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I dont think it can be both nature and nurture. When Focus and her brother were both young we lived miles out in the country. No one else to play with. Focus had to play "boy games" her brother had to play "girl games" There was no TV reception so no tv. At the time I strongly disagreed with kids having toy guns so there were none of those. There was no distinction made for boys or girls. Both were dressed similarly and treated in a "like" fashion. Focus is bi sexual, attended uni to study for a degree in teaching. Her brother joined the army at 17, is homophobic and could not wait to get married and have kids. So nurture could be ruled out here. I somehow doubt if it is genetic either as too much study has been done in the field of genetics and any link would have been found by now. I always thought it had something to do with the brain and the neuro pathways.
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RHP User
14 years ago
it was all explained in the book i read a few years back lol and for the life of me i cant remember the name of it but it all comes down to mum and her pregnancy i think a lot of our personality and our abilities come from the way we are raised...but i dont think gay, bi or straight comes from it at all i think the way we cope with it has a lot to do with those around us and the way we are raised hopefully the more open and honest we are with our kids and the more accepting we are of others...will show our kids how to be more willing to be whatever they are and be open and honest about it and not have all the emotional attachments that go with being gay or bi roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT' I met a lesbian couple who had a son and daughter and I often wonder how the kids turned out because the parents were very disparaging of men in general and never missed the opportunity to point this out to their children. i am very wary of this happening in my house....i hate men, those that know me understand why, but although i will let people know how much as often as i can im very careful since i had my son, never ever to do it with him around....i dont want him thinking he is the scum of the earth just because he has a penis and because of him im trying very hard to change my way of thinking....one of the reasons i got on this site hahaha but when you have kids you need to be careful about what you say and how you say it when they are around...i hope that little boy grew up knowing he isnt scum like the rest but a gorgeous man that deserves to be loved as much as everyone else does roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT'Genetics doesn't always determine preferences as these can be altered by neural pathways that are determined by nurture. By the time we are old enough to realise we have the power of choice many of our preferences have been established. Despite the fact that for hundreds of years the brain was believed to be like a machine and therefore incapable of rewiring itself, since the 60's the idea of neuroplasticity has become fairly mainstream. Examples include placing a small plate covered with "pixels" that emit very mild electric signals. The brain is capable of rewiring to pass these signals to the visual cortex, allowing congenitally blind people to see for the first time in their lives... through their tongue. 'The Brain That Changes Itself' by Norman Doidge is a fantastic read - I just finished it a few weeks ago. Although you're quite right that a lot of things are established early, there is far less hard-wiring than conventional wisdom would have us believe.
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RHP User
14 years ago
its great reaing the various responses.... . Im still unsire for myself as to what it could be though talking about this topic with a lovely woman in Melbourne and discussing the prevalence forbisexuality in the females of my generation is making me wonder if it is possibly a little of each... . Kisses Focus
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I would really question the suggestion that sexuality is genetic at a DNA level. I mean to say, genetics are a different set of chemical substances to the chemical reactions (triggers) that make me like baked pumpkin and my mother not like it. You can't learn to like baked pumpkin but with constant exposure I suppose you can grow accustomed to it... I think your example is far too narrow. A like or dislike for a particular food is learned or decided for one's self, but an awareness of whether one is straight or gay is far more strongly held. I hated mushrooms as a kid but love them now - the change is unlikely to be related to a change in my genetic make-up. Being bi, perhaps the distinction is less obvious to you? Did you always regard yourself as bi, or did you grow up thinking that you were hetero and then experiment to get to where you are now? I ask in the spirit of genuine curiosity - being straight, I don't have the answers.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' Quoting 'MistressT'Genetics doesn't always determine preferences as these can be altered by neural pathways that are determined by nurture. By the time we are old enough to realise we have the power of choice many of our preferences have been established. Despite the fact that for hundreds of years the brain was believed to be like a machine and therefore incapable of rewiring itself, since the 60's the idea of neuroplasticity has become fairly mainstream. Examples include placing a small plate covered with "pixels" that emit very mild electric signals. The brain is capable of rewiring to pass these signals to the visual cortex, allowing congenitally blind people to see for the first time in their lives... through their tongue. 'The Brain That Changes Itself' by Norman Doidge is a fantastic read - I just finished it a few weeks ago. Although you're quite right that a lot of things are established early, there is far less hard-wiring than conventional wisdom would have us believe. When I wrote this I had colour and taste preferences in mind which I think are inherent but I will give you another example of what I meant with that paragraph. If a child likes pumpkin as a baby by the time they are 18 months to 2 years old they may decide that they will not eat pumpkin despite the encouragement of the parents to do so. By the time they have reached adulthood it often happens that they discover they actually enjoy pumpkin. If however the parents forcefeed pumpkin to the child or make them eat it at every meal then it usually happens that by adulthood they usually find the taste of pumpkin is repulsive for the obvious reasonsI do understand neural plasticity. I know of a young child who had a liver transplant when they were 18 months old. Something went wrong during the procedure causing brain damage to the part of the brain that deals with sight. The brain healed itself by using that part of the brain normally used for speech to deal with sight. The result was a slight speech impediment and although the childs sight is not 100% perfect, the child can see quite well. The brain is a marvelous thing.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight'Without the capability to think...we would be breeding like rabbits and about every year from day one our beloved female companions would be throwing another litter. That's the very fundamental rule of Science 101 at a base level and why our species, which is one of the least capable at birth to survive or dominate this planet has managed to do so....and throw in our capacity to continue to grow and develop as the most intelligent species on the planet.Actually, our intelligence is a natural handbrake on population growth, but it's a physiological issue, not a thought process. Our long dependence on our parents prevents a litter a year and the cause of that dependence stems from the fact that our brains have grown over time to the point where if babies were allowed to mature to the same point where other animal offspring are, they simply wouldn't fit through their mother's birth canal. One might suggest that the pelvis of women should have evolved to cope - perhaps men's predilection for fine-boned women has slowed that process to the point where we're somewhat out of step. We ask for a big head to come out of a small space, hence the reason human births require so much more assistance than those of other animals and unlike them, we can't walk within 10 minutes of being born.
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RHP User
14 years ago
For me its Chokos and Weetbix......ewwwwww andKrissyPlease please tell me that is makeup on your boob!shuddersCheers Nev
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT'When I wrote this I had colour and taste preferences in mind which I think are inherent but I will give you another example of what I meant with that paragraph. If a child likes pumpkin as a baby by the time they are 18 months to 2 years old they may decide that they will not eat pumpkin despite the encouragement of the parents to do so. By the time they have reached adulthood it often happens that they discover they actually enjoy pumpkin. If however the parents forcefeed pumpkin to the child or make them eat it at every meal then it usually happens that by adulthood they usually find the taste of pumpkin is repulsive for the obvious reasonsI do understand neural plasticity. I know of a young child who had a liver transplant when they were 18 months old. Something went wrong during the procedure causing brain damage to the part of the brain that deals with sight. The brain healed itself by using that part of the brain normally used for speech to deal with sight. The result was a slight speech impediment and although the childs sight is not 100% perfect, the child can see quite well. The brain is a marvelous thing. Ah, I totally agree with your pumpkin analogy and believe that we're saying the same thing - that such a preference is learned or behavioural and not determined by genetic selection.It truly is amazing what the brain is capable of! I highly recommend the book I mentioned earlier - although it bogs down a bit toward the end, much of it deals with case studies similar to the one your young friend experienced, as well as some very interesting cases like rewiring the brain to eliminate the pain of phantom limbs or overcoming learning disabilities. As you obviously have knowledge and experience of plasticity, I suspect that you'd find it quite fascinating.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Krissy, I would role play any part in the movie version if I had a shot at Daryl Hannah. She made a Splash as a fish... | ...and even looks smokin' hot wet.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I couldnt find a man sexually appealing if I wanted to. Of course there is a trend among teenaged girls and young women to kiss and pretend to be bi for attention, but pretending for the opposite sex is different. If you arent naturally attracted to the same sex, nothing will change that.
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justswingingbi
14 years ago
There is a theory that homosexuality is Mother Nature's way of saving our planet. If you are COTCB fans and haven't read the land of painted caves, let me save you some time... read only the last 200 pages, the rest is made up of Ohh look at this cave, Ohh look at that cave... Ohh look at this cave... Ohh look at that cave... Waste of $30Mrs Justswinging
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RHP User
14 years ago
I don't profess to be a genetic scientist but don't think a person's sexuality is genetic, nor do I think it is nurtured because of a well plowed neural pathway put there like a pavlov's dog by our parents.With less than 8% of the human genome unmapped I think it unlikely that anyone will identify a gay gene in the human DNA strand. The other chemicals that make up the body are proteins and RNA molecules. Together with DNA, these chemicals make us into the wonderful individuals that we are today. My thoughts are that our sexuality is a result of the RNA and proteins that make up our composition. We sense a sexual stimulus and our unique chemical composition is to blame for it, rather than any remnant DNA strand inherited from or parents.As for the neural pathway, people do not choose to be gay. For some reason a sexual stimulus is already hard wired. The receptors are there waiting to be triggered. You might not like it when they are triggered, but there's nothing you can do about that much of what is happening. If it were a real concern, science could attempt to find the gayness switch and with the use of introduced chemicals switch it off. Obviously, there are far more useful projects for medical research to advance.HugsStalky Quoting 'MistressT' Quoting 'stalky' If sexuality is just another sense, how can it be built into ones chemical composition without being part of our genetic make-up? Or are you referring to neural pathways?Genetics doesn't always determine preferences as these can be altered by neural pathways that are determined by nurture. By the time we are old enough to realise we have the power of choice many of our preferences have been established.
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RHP User
14 years ago
As suggested by Chrissy... there's a much maligned scale called the Kinsey scale that rates from 0- 6 heterosexuality and homosexuality. Chrissy said that she was a 3, which is neither Straight nor Gay, vis vis... Bisexual. What you described, Snowshoe was a person identifying as a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale.It's not for me to say whether bisexual people are mostly 1 or 2 and I don't think that kind of research has been done.As for me, my very first sexual exploration was with two others, one of each gender, before we knew there was a name for it.HugsStalky Quoting 'Snowshoe' Bisexual may be a different case, though I claim no expertise. I suspect that an interest in sex with either gender is perhaps more the product of an open mind than a genetic predisposition. Is it fair to say that most bisexuals feel a preference for one gender but an acceptance of sex with the other? If so, that would support my position - if not, I may be farting smoke.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I spent all my life feeling like there was something wrong with me because of my sexuality, I never really knew it was a bad thing until my first love.. ahhhh to this day I still wish(she had me in a spell).. And the things we did without even knowing about porn.. (bless her, we used to go on picinics and she used to tie me up to trees and have her way with me.. loved it). Anyway long story short..I was 15 and my beautiful lover and I were making love as we did a few times a week (we had been friends since I was 5) and her parents thought I was such a lovely girl... until she found us naked with me giving oral sex.. well this poor woman.. she chased me up the Street calling me the Devil, "wait till I tell your mother".. thing is she, never did, so I always just assumed they knew.. when I came out at 25, everyone was so shocked even the woman who chased me up the street.. What the..!! Years later and much to my families dislike I came out, I met my Bio father when I was 28 and never told him, as he passed quite soon after, but he did mention that my Grandmother his wife, liked to keep the company of women (I guess thats the English way of sugar coating).. asking family and friends.. this was true,!!! and there were more of us in the familiy made me feel like I was not alone.. The funny thing was I never met her as she lived in another country and died years ago.. I think its a bit of both (in saying that if my Son said he met a girl I would be surprised as he kept stealing his sisters vibrator) and the link continues.. Oriah
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'With less than 8% of the human genome unmapped I think it unlikely that anyone will identify a gay gene in the human DNA strand. The other chemicals that make up the body are proteins and RNA molecules. Together with DNA, these chemicals make us into the wonderful individuals that we are today. My thoughts are that our sexuality is a result of the RNA and proteins that make up our composition. We sense a sexual stimulus and our unique chemical composition is to blame for it, rather than any remnant DNA strand inherited from or parents.As for the neural pathway, people do not choose to be gay. For some reason a sexual stimulus is already hard wired. The other chemicals?? What we are is all part of our genetic inheritance. We are products of our parents and their parents and so on. If sexual orientation is not inherited then where does it come from? In many aspects our sexuality defines who we are so are you saying this is something learned? Did I learn to be straight from my parents or is it just part of my genetic make-up?You say that "people do not choose to be gay". So if they have no choice then their sexuality must be inherited. Don't forget that some characteristics can skip a generation or two and that people these days are more open to revealing themselves.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT' The other chemicals?? What we are is all part of our genetic inheritance. We are products of our parents and their parents and so on. If sexual orientation is not inherited then where does it come from? In many aspects our sexuality defines who we are so are you saying this is something learned? Did I learn to be straight from my parents or is it just part of my genetic make-up?You say that "people do not choose to be gay". So if they have no choice then their sexuality must be inherited. Don't forget that some characteristics can skip a generation or two and that people these days are more open to revealing themselves. Absolutely right. It's simplistic to think that there's a gayness gene, just as it is to think that there's a pumpkin gene. There are only two choices - nature or nurture. If it's not nurture, then it's genetic. We have no other essence or ether.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT' The other chemicals?? What we are is all part of our genetic inheritance. We are products of our parents and their parents and so on. If sexual orientation is not inherited then where does it come from? In many aspects our sexuality defines who we are so are you saying this is something learned? Did I learn to be straight from my parents or is it just part of my genetic make-up?You say that "people do not choose to be gay". So if they have no choice then their sexuality must be inherited. Don't forget that some characteristics can skip a generation or two and that people these days are more open to revealing themselves. Hey... as I said, I'm not a geneticist... but you make comments of certainty where truly none exists. You said "sexuality must be inherited"... Well, that's not been proven. Also, I did not say that sexuality is learnt. You seem to be suggesting that they are the only two possibilities, but that's not necessarily so either. Take an absurd proposition..... that being straight is a product of being exposed to the mumps prior to the age of 2.... lmfao... IYes, I made that up... but it's not so absurd when you appreciate that there are other external factors that impact on your chemical composition.. or else we would be clones... forever as short and as fat as our ancestors.... some of us have straight teeth ffs... perhaps contributed to by adding more flouride treatment in the water.... clearly there are more factors that influence our chemical composition, than just the DNA build instructions we got from our ancestors. That's evolution... a wild card. Maybe being straight is nature's wild card. Whatever it is... your sexuality is not learnt. And there is no evidence that it is genetic.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
in my belief yes i think genetics play a role to a certain degree but it is up to the individual to run with it or not. i know a few females and males that were dead set againt any kinda of sexual play other than mf and as acouple only,but once the right time place and situation arose to play with the same gender and they did they realised it was actually fun and fulfilling so now they say they are bi lol.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I will grant that external influences like viruses and exposure to certain chemicals or radiation can have a physical impact on children developing in the womb but I am not convinced that it can have any bearing on the sexuality of that child without there being evidence of other effects. The reason I am convinced of this is the study done on identical twins in which one twin was straight and the other homosexual. The twins were exposed to the same things during their childhoods and they were raised the same yet their sexuality was totally opposite.
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RHP User
14 years ago
I don't know but it was interesting reading Mistress T's comments - my parents were both fairly modest and could never quite understand why I was so open and always running around naked - in fact they both quite clearly tried to stop my lack of modesty - however it is still fully intact and truly do seem to have been born that way. However my sister says I have inherited my mothers tits and my fathers sex drive so maybe there's some 50/50 deal going on with born or bred............
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'MistressT' I will grant that external influences like viruses and exposure to certain chemicals or radiation can have a physical impact on children developing in the womb but I am not convinced that it can have any bearing on the sexuality of that child without there being evidence of other effects. The reason I am convinced of this is the study done on identical twins in which one twin was straight and the other homosexual. The twins were exposed to the same things during their childhoods and they were raised the same yet their sexuality was totally opposite. Are you suggesting that sexuality is due to nurture then? Identical twins have identical DNA, so that would point to nurture asbeing the cause. Stalky, I'm no geneticist either, but I'm a firm believer in Occams Razor, which essentially states that the simplest solution is usually the right one. While it's possible that sexuality is determined by factors other than nature or nurture, I think that the odds are against it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
If sexuality is genetic then after 40,000 years of human evolution you would expect the gay gene to breed out just like the hair suit, but it hasn't. There are around 90% of the population identifying as straight. Back 40,000 years nearly everyone must have been gay (adam and steve). I mean it defies logic that sexuality is genetic. It defies logic that it is nurtured. There must be something else involved... like a sense of taste and style!! Hehe Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
I'd say genetics definitely has a part to play... I was raised in a christian family, went to a christian school where the only sex ed wasnt until year 10 where it was only 'sex is evil, abstinence is the only real contraception' lol.. unless you did health studies in year 11 and 12 then they had to teach the syllabus lol... but was always a good little kid... but alas I started playing with myself when i was only 4... (not exagerating at all) and i didnt even know what I was doing.. didn't know it was 'sexual' i didnt even know sex existed.. just that whatever i was doing was the best feeling ever... When I was about 9/10 me and my (female) cousin used to play around, because she like me was very sexual without actually knowing sex existed... so how you argue nurture when the both of us were so young, raised in strict families and didnt even know what sex was... Then half my female cousins on that side of my family got pregnant as teenagers... i luckily managed to refrain from actual sex until i was 17 :p since then ive resembled the pringles ad... rofl..so yeah coming from a strict christian upbringing, living in a bubble of innocence.. id definitely say nature!
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RHP User
14 years ago
This has been a fascinating read...truly I am enjoying the arguments for nature/naurture/or something inbetween ; For most it is thought that it has to be something in between but I wonder cuold the reason we are more aware of hmosexuality/heterosexuality and bisexuality today is because we are more understanding and openminded about sexual choices than we once were?? / Kisses Focus
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jensta
14 years ago
We all, get 50% of our Genetic DNA fom our Mother & 50% DNA from our Father Life style only plays a small percentage! I have Had my DNA taken & tested at Monash Medical Centre! So I know what im talking about! whether it be medical! behaviors, personality, looks or even Sexuality! We are born and much of us is all mapped out in our DNA! What we do with it, is the choices we make along the way! Enjoy being ourselves! we are meant to be! Love ones self! enjoy! who we are! we are all unique! xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' If sexuality is genetic then after 40,000 years of human evolution you would expect the gay gene to breed out just like the hair suit, but it hasn't. There are around 90% of the population identifying as straight. Back 40,000 years nearly everyone must have been gay (adam and steve). I mean it defies logic that sexuality is genetic. It defies logic that it is nurtured. There must be something else involved... like a sense of taste and style!! Hehe Hugs Stalky About 10 percent of the population is left-handed - an esteemed club that I happen to belong to. By your logic, left-handedness should have faded from our genome long ago. Genes aren't like a row of switches, they're more like a set of dials. There are many traits that are only expressed under certain conditions, such as haemochromatosis, where two parents are blissfully unaware that they carry the gene until they produce a child that has the illness. There's also a large chunk of our DNA that has until recently been referred to as "junk DNA", as it was believed that it played no part in our composition - now it's becoming a hot topic as this has proved not to be the case.Genetics isn't the enemy of human diversity, it's the preserver of it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Yes we were born, doo doo doo, born, born...born to be alive.... By Patrick Hernandez (1979 Chrysalis Records) . Tangent left of topic> . >When you hold your new born baby do you say to your infant.....? . "When you're older, I'm going to judge your sexuality, argue with you, lash out at you occasionally and be inflexible, stubborn and grumpy....goochy goochy goo!" . Unlikely! So remember your first adorations and love as your teenage offspring annoy the crap out of you. Young people are not of the opinion that they are growing, incomplete and capable of errors ~ They see themselves a complete, wise and fully capable..... . The "Shades of Grey" that come with the hair to match, can only be realised later.....much later. . "Experience is a high price to pay for maturity"
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Snowshoe' About 10 percent of the population is left-handed - an esteemed club that I happen to belong to. By your logic, left-handedness should have faded from our genome long ago. Genes aren't like a row of switches, they're more like a set of dials. There are many traits that are only expressed under certain conditions, such as haemochromatosis, where two parents are blissfully unaware that they carry the gene until they produce a child that has the illness. There's also a large chunk of our DNA that has until recently been referred to as "junk DNA", as it was believed that it played no part in our composition - now it's becoming a hot topic as this has proved not to be the case.Genetics isn't the enemy of human diversity, it's the preserver of it. I'm left handed too but you missed my point, apparently. What I didn't say was that genetically speaking, rooting homosexuals do not produce little homosexual babies making a loving homosexual environment for their homosexual DNA to thrive and perpetuate through the ages. Therefore, I think, If DNA alone is the determinate of sexuality then 40,000 years of evolving human kind selectively breeding heterosexuals ought to have put an end to diverse sexuality, you know... like like the hair suit.... that is, unless something else is influencing sexuality besides breeding or nurturing. My mention of switches was a way to describe the chemical triggers. My blood pressure is high... introduce a chemical and the switch for lower blood pressure is triggered... I wasn't describing genes.Anyway, it is interesting, what Krissy says, isn't it.HugsStalkyQuoting 'Krissy_G' Believe me Ive looked into this soooo much. During gestation it is chemicals that disrupt the endocrine process. This can be caused from a number of factors and not just limited to substance abuse.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Krissy_G'Believe me Ive looked into this soooo much. During gestation it is chemicals that disrupt the endocrine process. This can be caused from a number of factors and not just limited to substance abuse. thank you Krissy....this is what im talking about...it all has to do with something when the mother is pregnant roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' I'm left handed too but you missed my point, apparently. What I didn't say was that genetically speaking, rooting homosexuals do not produce little homosexual babies making a loving homosexual environment for their homosexual DNA to thrive and perpetuate through the ages. Therefore, I think, If DNA alone is the determinate of sexuality then 40,000 years of evolving human kind selectively breeding heterosexuals ought to have put an end to diverse sexuality, you know... like like the hair suit.... that is, unless something else is influencing sexuality besides breeding or nurturing. Being left-handed in your job must be a drag - lots of smudging, if you're anything like me with a pencil. :-)I didn't miss your point. The reason genes are more like dials than switches is that genes can be present in your DNA without being expressed. With the appropriate genetic lineage, two black parents can produce a white baby that later produces their own black child. It's not all about dominance and recessiveness, nor are genes absolute. Evolutionary psychology maintains that genetic influence is far more prevalent that one might like to imagine, guiding many aspects of how we interact with each other in daily life. Having done a bit of reading on it in the past and so coming at it from that side it seems more likely that sexuality is genetic, but I could be wrong...
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