M46 F42

Broadening limited experience - good or not?

August 03 2015

Would like to hear from any couples, guys or girls who've opened their relationship to broaden their partners otherwise limited sexual experiences? As a couple we've only ever skirted around the idea of 'spicing things up' but now I (Mr) is thinking of asking Mrs if she would like to try the company of another man. The brief history is that Mrs has only ever been with 1 partner where I on the other hand have a little more experience prior to becoming a couple. She has only even expressed a mild curiosity to know what someone else would be like but has not shown a strong desire for it. Is this a good idea or does it have the potential to open up Pandora's box?

Comments

RHP User

9 years ago

Why do you want her to do this 97Anoid, what is the reasoning behind it? Sounds like it something you are more keen on than she is.

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Yep - this is something that needs a 100% honest discussion. Is this something she wants to look into at all? And if so: Does she want to look into an experience with a girl, a guy, or a couple? How far does she want to go with said person/people; soft or full swap? Lots of questions you two need to chat about before going further with this. Having said that, if she shuts the conversation down, I wouldn't pursue the issue; just let it go with a "if you ever want to chat about it, we can".

reply

like
inspirit

9 years ago

Good luck

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Why are you only looking for women on your profile when your post is about having the Mrs experience another man? No, in my view it is not a good idea at all unless your wife is completely aware of your ideas and on fully board. It sounds to me she is neither.

reply

like
AnnieWhichway

9 years ago

this is a guy playing as a couple. Wishful thinking that the wife is on board. Plan a meet and.... " no sorry my wife is sick. But lets not waste the room..." Pandora's box will not only be opened but turned upside down on the front lawn........

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Okay.. A couple of things obviously need to be cleared up here. 1. Yes I'm definitely part of a couple. My wife and I started this profile quite some time ago when we first spoke about spicing things up. Since then life kind of got in the way and to state the obvious I have logged in and asked the original question on my own. Does she log on now? No. Should I change the profile to one on my own? Maybe, but since I have no intention of playing on the side or on my own I think not. 2. The advice sought is genuine and well intended. I stated in the original post that she had expressed curiosity. The exact statement from Mrs was "I would've liked to have been with someone else before we got married so I'd know what it was like"

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Yep - get on that chat! If she wishes she'd had something before the two of you were married, it doesn't mean she can't have it now as long as you're doing things together - but at the same time, if she feels uncomfortable in doing so due to a hangup (be it religious, societal, etc), you also need to respect that. Swinging isn't for everyone!

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Quoting '97Anoid' The exact statement from Mrs was "I would've liked to have been with someone else before we got married so I'd know what it was like" I think your wife's statement as you've quoted it is quite different from her suggesting she may want to try it now. I wish I'd done some things in my twenties that I'm not interested in anymore, but it would have been nice to have had the experience. You're thinking of asking your wife if she'd like to try the company of another guy you say. Well, if you started this profile together, that question shouldn't come as a complete surprise to her. I say go for it, ask her. Just be prepared for her to say no thanks, and having to leave the idea at that. Good luck.

reply

like
him_and_me

9 years ago

Mrs him_and_me had only slept with me prior to us exploring. That is no longer the case :) She loves it, and I'm quite fond of the experiences I get as well. We've tried couples and open relationship. As long as you talk constantly and make sure you are both comfortable and it doesn't intrude or detract from your primary relationship, then I think it can be great. A couple things to note though... - Theory can be much more exciting (less confronting) than practice. This again can be dealt with by talking through any concerns with your partner. - if you are looking at open relationships, she'll get a lot more attention that you. I'd not give out phone numbers, but stick to RHP messages or kik. Also, if there is any feeling of unease about a particular individual, then pass. I also gather as much info about my wife's partner as possible and on occasion go along to meets to so that I can get a sense of who she is meeting and whether I'm comfortable with him or not. Safety first! - Enjoy! Him. - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
ToeDippers

9 years ago

This sounds a lot like me and I did try and post a question - but after 2 days it still hasn't "cleared approval" - so I thought I'd ask my Q here. My wife and I are also looking to spice things up - though perhaps other partners isn't our thing.. well certainly not as an initial destination. We were looking for help from the good folk here as to things for erotic nights out that we could pursue without necessarily "swinging" or going to a swingers club. There doesn't seem to be something that is halfway between swingers and normal nightclub - uninhibited, flirting, dancing - but not necessarily in your face (Yes I know this sounds prudish - but one step at a time right?) We have discussed and will be going to a strip club, but that is pretty much as far as our googling has got us. We are travelling in a few weeks for some "couple time" and looking for ideas (any ideas) for what we can do away with a bit of anonymity - will be in London if anyone has any great ideas or clubs. Ideas for Perth as well will be welcome! Sorry for the rambling - we are looking to take a step "out of the bedroom" but don't want to slip up :)

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

I think this type of event/venue would suit us perfectly if it exists.

reply

like
ToeDippers

9 years ago

Just found out my question was posted into a different sub-section - sorry for the hijack

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

How long ago did you first try this him_and_me?

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Don't be put off by clubs! :) Especially the first timers nights, they can be a great place to explore a bit more of your wild side, and especially because most places are very firm on the no-means-no rule. You can go along and watch and be watched, and don't have to participate with anyone else if you don't want - can always flirt to start out but if you're respectful and tell people you're just getting started and aren't sure about playing, 99% of people will respect that :)

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Still sounds like something you want, people make those sorts of throw away comments all the time without really meaning them. All you can do is tell her that you are happy for her to explore and meet men for sex. If she doesn't take you up on it, well she just doesnt' want to. Although, she will probably come to the conclusion that you are pushing her away because you actually want to sleep with other women. I am sure most women would have that suspicion somewhere in their mind. I think anyway.

reply

like
him_and_me

9 years ago

Hey again, My wife's first extra marital experience was around 2 years ago, while she was overseas...where she hooked up with...a fireman! Since then, we've had a few different experiences, couples, single guys/girls, three some and things like private parties and clubs. I won't say it's all been roses. There are times I've struggled with it, but largely, if you are in a relationship where you really support each other and have each other's complete and utter trust, it can be wonderful too. Just wonderful icing on an already delicious cake. Him - Posted from rhpmobile

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Wouldn't it be great if she hooked up with others, then you could too !

reply

like
RHP User

9 years ago

Your comments and advice helpful and appreciated. Meander your thoughts were most correct. After having the conversation all is clear and we're both on the same page.

reply

like

Broadening limited experience - good or not?

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help