Building confidence around desires

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  Tall74nHard9

  4 years ago

  @JayTay074 Biggest tip - prepare to have a loooooot of patience - the process here is usually very slow. Don't expect anything, and you won't end up disappointed. Tall

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  teamaj2

  4 years ago

  Jay Tay What an excellent forum post . What a refreshing change from the posts that are just posted in the hope it attracts peoples attention . A lot of newbies decide to be brave and dip their toes into the RHP waters and would like some advice . As with all advice in life , you are an individual and you can decide to take it on board or leave it . My husband had been eager and tried to convince me for over 10 years to explore . I was a little slower in jumping on board . For us , it was definitely baby steps . We both ( but especially me -F) needed the confidence to proceed . I had a fixed idea that all swingers were super models and gym junkies and why would they be interested in me ? Number one thing I learnt . Swingers come in all shapes and sizes . Yes , people did want to interact with us . It definitely built my confidence. Confidence also came from attending parties and events . Meeting like minded people , chatting with them and learning more about swinging . It’s sometimes hard to find your tribe ‘ when it comes to events . We were very lucky . We learnt that people have so many different , wants , needs , kinks , ways of meeting , expectations- the lists are endless . You need to mindful , respectful of all the differences . In short tips- Always read profiles , be respectful at all times , don’t take rejection personally ( its a hard pill to swallow but it’s just the way it is ) , be honest , if playing with a couple or intending to - remember there is two people in that couple , we find it quite rude for someone to just ignore my husband . As Tall has said , patience is the key . We have found all experiences to be different . The best experiences are definitely those where you have no expectations, you meet , you are all instantly attracted , everyone is relaxed and the fun begins . Goodluck , write your own rule book , have fun , travel your own exciting path and find your bliss . Ax

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  teamaj2

  4 years ago

  P.S if at any time during chat or a meet you get a feeling that something is NQR it’s totally okay not to proceed or to stop the communication. Follow your gut . Sorry for long winded reply . Ax

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  D_Light

  4 years ago

  Make connections in chat rooms & ask all the questions you want answered to a live audience who could give you 30 diff responses or you may see similarities and you can decide where to from there. The key here is your now being noticed and if your in the chat rooms enough you will become friends with regulars in your locality and when an event is on that they're attending ask if you can go together or meet for pre-drinks or know with certainty that someone yr only going to meet for 1st time but has been a great chat buddy will be there to which will give you the confidence at least to walk through the door. It is definitely easier as a couple as there is someone to hold your hand, always go with no expectations too. A great deal of people use events to socialize & meet and only play at a later date in the comfort of a private residence others may want to get down & dirty the moment they arrive you can't leave with the thought of failure because its not what you hoped for. It won't just fall onto yr lap , although to some it does, as TnH states patience & no expectations

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