RHP

RHP User

F49

CATCH 22

December 08 2012

OK all men out there help me out with this one...What I would like to know is...Do you or don't sleep you with a woman on first meet?I've done this to prove a point and it's a catch 22...do or don't..A) If I "DO NOT" sleep with on first meet - and hold off cause want the respect...most men tend to loose interest and move on.OR B) Sleep with/have a good shag - knowing the respect is not the same...lower self-respect..and then the man just expect sex on demand or disappear...So either ither it's a catch 22....I am after men's opinion here - which is better for a woman to do??

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If there's a strong attraction and you feel good about it, go ahead and sleep together on the first date as long as you're ready. If you like him but you don't feel too comfortable about it, wait a bit. If the guy loses interest immediately, he only wanted the one thing to begin with so you've lost nothing. The respect doesn't come from when you do it, it's about how you do it. If you seem like you're caving in and having sex because you feel obligated, a man would probably not respect this. If you're ready to get it on as though it doesn't matter whether it's with him or the next guy, he probably won't respect this either. If you can be strong and confident about what you want and when you want it, a man can respect that.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I like to meet a woman, get to know a bit about her, if she is entertaining, funny, good company, if the sparks fly and it ends up in sex, then both have agreed and if they see each other again, even better, common ground and mutal respect is there.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    who says never have sex until the 5th date.But I could be dead by then. I think it's all about what you are looking for,and what you want.Respect yourself and others will respect you.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    is earned and I believe has nothing to do with sex. If you sleep with someone on a first date it should be no reflection on your own self-esteem or theirs for you. You bring some fairly old fashioned ideas to this debate, should your self esteem be at the mercy of others opinions of you or are you able to maintain your self esteem outside of the opinions of others? Personally I believe you should be able to be valued as a person without recourse to being judged by the values of others.   Mike

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If you explain that you really like a guy and want to be with him but you want more than a one night stand ,most guys will be happy to wait.I think its when guys don't know where they stand is when they loose interest.A guy could go out on a date ,have a great night with you ,and then think,she dose not like me as she was not affectionate toward's me.I think that's happened to most people here.

  • playful4u

    playful4u

    12 years ago

    always choose a). Only hold out longer for the one you want to keep.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Any man who is sub consciously measuring your willingness to hold out is frankly not worth bothering with. The nonsense I have heard from married men who wear it as a badge of honour that their particular partner is more virtuous than previous partners or other perspective women because she served up an acceptable period of abstinence before succumbing to human nature is nothing short of ridiculous.If you're a man and you like fucking what could be more ironic than seeking a partner who appears indifferent?, this social faux par we're presented with that a woman who puts out on the first date is somehow unworthy is bewildering, it's a complete oxymoron and something you shouldn't allow yourself to be shackled to.Sexual chemistry is instant, it's either there or it isn't, if it's there and you act upon it then good for the pair of you, if you wish to continue on an emotional journey together then make sure that it's natural and organic and something you both want.There is a large element of truth in the old saying "treat em mean, keep em keen" in the sense that if you offer your heart like a door mat it will be walked over, if you seek to intrigue and entice someone then it's going to be far more alluring if you allow a subtle glimpse of the light inside by only leaving the door to your heart slightly ajar.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ..which is not to say it doesn't happen. Mostly, though, first time out is to see if the boxes are ticked, then take it from there.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    nameisinuse do you live in a very beautiful place but what a great post . ps and I have met that person you mention in your profile a number of times.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hi fox,   Very common question. I actually thinks its an easy one because women are the boss. Maybe you're over thinking the situation believing the guy won't be interested if you say no on the first meet. Honestly, is that the type of guy you would respect anyway...and the type of respect that you should get from a guy.   Some simple things to think about....   * expect the respect you should and would get if this guy had nothing to do with sex * is he the personality you're after and have the traits that you're attracted to * you're the boss and you have the control so take time to think it through * the ratio of males to females is generally 5:1....is it really going to hurt to wait a few extra days or weeks to find what you're after   That said each woman is at her own level of comfortness when it comes to making these types of decisions...so ultimately she has to live with aftermath (if she feels there is one). Simple tip....the fact you're questioning yourself and gone to the effort of making it a forum topic...may show you're not 100% comfortable.   To answer your question....the male doesn't have the control and its not his decision to make. What he should do though is take the responsibility to provide a duty of care for her feelings and make the mature decision to say no if he can see signs she isn't comfortable or ready.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    First up, are you talking about meetings off here, or just dates in general? I'll assume the former.Often it's just a timing issue, which is addressed at the start of the date (first meets are often on a schoolnight). I think it's much easier to have that buffer though where the expectation is to not play straight away (though without being closed off to the possibility.)To speculate a bit, if men are unwilling to wait for one date then it sounds like they're the type looking for a one-off shag. I prefer to have ongoing arrangements than just trying to get my end in anything that moves.Besides, I actually enjoy the anticipation between first meet and first play. I almost certainly wouldn't go on a 'second date' though - if they haven't made up their mind by the end of the first meeting about me then it would seem like they were just playing games. When the second meeting comes around, it usually involves a "hi" in the doorway, a passionate kiss and then straight to the bedroom. Chit chat is for between rounds. :)n_d

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I prefer to wait, you won't regret it, if he loses interest you've lost what? If you both want to meet again and you sleep together you've made a considered decision and had a bit of time for some good old URST to develop.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Too rite, It a chat room..Hi ev1 first time on here, talk about jumping hoops to join lol and no pic yet sorry :-))

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    As long as the other person is totally Awesome, it is totally worth the wait.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    One has to wonder why someone would only wish to marry or embark on a long term relationship with a girl who made them wait a predetermined period before sleeping with them, it's hilarious really, especially when there's a good chance she may have slept with heaps of guys previously without waiting. I have sat and listened to men explaining on great detail that they knew their partner was the one for them because they were made to wait, which clearly signified an underlying element of purity, yet I've known full well their partners have had a handful of one night stands.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have a friend who tells me. "No anal sex on the first date" What an outrage! Can't believe it, and may I add why didn't he tell me that on our first date. Hmmm!?!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It's cos you showed him that awesome weapon you call a strapon...he is no doubt still trembling

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Freya I will admit this only to you, and it makes me blush to think of it. I hopped up on the bed face straight down in the pillows and ass up in the air. Why? I don't know why I did that, poor man what was he aupposed to do? Haha!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ya got me there,buggered if I know

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    is the number of dates ive been on which didnt end with sex.i find that when you get to the point where youre going on a date shes probably already decided that she wants to fuck you. ra

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Deciding whether to sleep with someone is alot like falling in love. Falling in love, is like a fart. If you have to push it, then it's probably shit. So, if a man wants to push it, is he there for you too?? For me, when/if it happens, I want it to be perfect, well timed, and spontaneous. Nothing is more of a turn off than penciling in a play date. It removes the intimacy that I so dearly love to remember about the experience.

  • Lifes_great

    Lifes_great

    12 years ago

    I'm with Mike here....one shouldn't impact on the other....sex is sex....respect is respect Quoting 'miketheduc' is earned and I believe has nothing to do with sex. If you sleep with someone on a first date it should be no reflection on your own self-esteem or theirs for you. You bring some fairly old fashioned ideas to this debate, should your self esteem be at the mercy of others opinions of you or are you able to maintain your self esteem outside of the opinions of others? Personally I believe you should be able to be valued as a person without recourse to being judged by the values of others.   Mike

  • Mr_MrsAraps

    Mr_MrsAraps

    12 years ago

    Its totally your choice on how the date goes and what your comfortable with. If the date is someone that is just going to bugger off after the first shag then they are going to bugger off anyway irrespective of your choice of option A or B.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It can be like swimming between the flags..sometimes you want to be safe and follow the rules..Other times it is fun to swim outside the flags ..   Either way there are still sharks in the water..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    falling in love is like a fart...PLEASE may I have the tee shirt

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'nameisinuse' One has to wonder why someone would only wish to marry or embark on a long term relationship with a girl who made them wait a predetermined period before sleeping with them, it's hilarious really, especially when there's a good chance she may have slept with heaps of guys previously without waiting. I have sat and listened to men explaining on great detail that they knew their partner was the one for them because they were made to wait, which clearly signified an underlying element of purity, yet I've known full well their partners have had a handful of one night stands.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. It's the thrill of the chase

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    As a man who loves a challenge, I find sleeping with someone on the first date ruins half the fun of dating. Leaving from a date who kisses you hotly then walks away is much more exciting and leaves you anticipating the next date more than sleeping with her.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Sounds like you have plenty of information to make a decision on your problem here. But I'll just add, like everyone what Evers comfortable to you. If your just after sex well first night no question, if you really like the guys, well first night sex may still be on the cards or maybe not. As previously suggested it it feels right why not. If it takes a few more dates well so be it, if he runs as your not quite ready well he was just in it for the sex. I slept with my wife first night, but was not expecting it at all, I would have waited years for her to sleep with me if that's what it took, lol. But it was amazing, the connection was just right and although I don't think we both thought at the time we had found our wife or husband to be. It was a very special connection with amazing sex and if it was just the one night and never saw each other again it was a night to remember but as it turned out it was a great start to our 10'relationshipmwhich we have been married for 8 years. So in summary I don't think it matters, but it's all about what your looking for and if the guys keen he will conform to what every rules you have, but if you really like him you would put too many rules in place either. Good luck with it. Cheers

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My previous post -" you wouldn't put too many rules in place on him if you really like him" Just in case you could not work out my jumble there

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It appears by feedback given... Some people have sex on first date and some don't...."Go with Flow" seems to be the norm.. Hey I am happy with that!LOL Either way...Get sex either way... Just sayin!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Oh I think we forget to mention the most important thing. If you have sex on the first date you need to let them know that you have never done that before. It's the very first time for you. If you can you should say this with a look of amazement on your face. this will have a two pronged effect of making your new lover feel special whilst validating your good girl status. This immediately puts the sex on a second date sex setting. :)

  • Lifes_great

    Lifes_great

    12 years ago

    and here I was thinking I was special.....( not it a goofy kinda way). I didn't think girls told porkies Quoting 'Meeka100'Oh I think we forget to mention the most important thing. If you have sex on the first date you need to let them know that you have never done that before. It's the very first time for you. If you can you should say this with a look of amazement on your face. this will have a two pronged effect of making your new lover feel special whilst validating your good girl status. This immediately puts the sex on a second date sex setting. :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' Oh I think we forget to mention the most important thing. If you have sex on the first date you need to let them know that you have never done that before. It's the very first time for you. If you can you should say this with a look of amazement on your face. this will have a two pronged effect of making your new lover feel special whilst validating your good girl status. This immediately puts the sex on a second date sex setting. :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It's not a lie if you're not found out.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Lifes_great' I'm with Mike here....one shouldn't impact on the other....sex is sex....respect is respect There are plenty of women I haven't had sex with that I don't respect.RA

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    and too true for me also...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It was worth waiting every second for her. I would wait another year if I had to. If he cares about you, he will wait until you are ready. You might have to beat him a way with a stick a few times, he might get sullen or frustrated (don't get in to too much heavy petting), but if he cares for you,meh will wait, and it will be that much better.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'jensman1903' It's not a lie if you're not found out.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'hardtruckin2011'Deciding whether to sleep with someone is alot like falling in love. Falling in love, is like a fart. If you have to push it, then it's probably shit. So, if a man wants to push it, is he there for you too?? For me, when/if it happens, I want it to be perfect, well timed, and spontaneous. Nothing is more of a turn off than penciling in a play date. It removes the intimacy that I so dearly love to remember about the experience. THAT IS GOLD!!! ROPMSL

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    if youre hot for each other and the time is right go for it,if i not and there's a connection i'm sure there's gonna be another meeting so you think a bit more about what you wanna do to eachother

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    for me....i'd much rather have to work for it, than have it given freely. its ever so much sweeter a prize, if its earned.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I guess you need to ask yourself that ! If your here looking for mr right or mr right now , I personally don't have any less respect for a woman either way , I have an amazing friend on here we met for coffee not that I drink it but the next week waiting to meet again was so exciting , then I have other friends we played on first date and I still can't wait to see them again , think if you choose the right guy it doesn't matter either way ! Let it unfold the way it's meant to by chance !

  • chevtrek

    chevtrek

    12 years ago

    On the downside holding out means nothing for some men its like a notch on the bed post.. I respect a woman who is honest and if shes horny then hey thats honesty good on her... A person can never know what happens after a first date or sex,if he or she wants to go further or it was the heat of the moment.. I have about 20 lady friends on here we have had sex 1 time or 5 times but decided that was it so, have some fun and dont let it worry you.. Respect yourself and others will respect you...   Steve

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Self Respect has a lot to do with this topic.The problem I have is....For me personally I do have high self-respect and confidence not an issue in that area.I am just finding (from personal experiences) it's the other person involved that mainly I have issues with...They appear to have little self-respect, dignity and confidence...A) First meet they want sex and a quick root and that's it - get what they want...will use every trick, persuasion in the book to get into my pants first meet. Charming, respectful...etc etc......Yeah I am wise to that!!!B) Hold off after first meet and they disappear - loose all contact!I know it's not me..I don't come across as "slutty", "needy" or "play mind games"I also know I am not for everyone...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    SuperFox, I can see the dilemma...Point 1:If a man loses interest because he doesn't get dessert on a first date, or can't wait until you're sure and ready, then he's a wimp and a selfish @$$hole!! Lol...He doesn't deserve you. Why are you worried?? aren't there enough men in Brissy??Point 2:If you give him the go ahead and you have sex on the first date, and then you withhold sex afterwards, he's going to be wondering if he's mucked-up the session and wasn't good enough for you...possibly disappear.However, and I speak from personal experience (not extensive, I must say), if you both can't keep your bodies off one-another and have sex..so what?Had a couple of those and my impression of the girl wasn't diminished an iota.. I went out with both girls (at different times!!!)..for a long time..I think one should be upfront and communicate openly with the partner....so important!!Cheers!!

  • Rainmaker007

    Rainmaker007

    12 years ago

    -If you are a virgin,you might want to lose it to someone special -if you are after casual nsa fun and you like the guy,why wait?-if you are after a relationship,you need to take your time.-if you are not sure,just go with the flow-if its non of the above,just do it!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    You'll probably find the decision is easier to make if you stop judging yourself or treating sex as some sort of leverage. Just enjoy it or say no as you please. The rest will out the same way regardless.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    God I love it when you talk clean like that...phew...I think it's a little hot in here :p

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    just be honest ..if you just meet up with some one and you keen for a shag..just say so...over last 2 years ive met so many that say they looking for romance .i play the gentleman and never see them again ..im to nice ,then there those that say there not into one night stand but get naked ...last one turned up at 11 45 pm ,told me she doesnt normal meet guys late at might and then between gags ,kept saying how much she loved sucking cock.. then when i contacted her again i told im not her type ...wtf..everybody know if you meet someone off here its not because you want them to meet your parants..so why mess around just say up front what you want

  • DevilUNo22

    DevilUNo22

    12 years ago

    If its worth doing its worth waiting for - at a first meet eye contact and depth of conversation should decide the issue - not just sexual attraction - if it feels natural and it feels right why not as long as both understand what is going on and where it is going to lead to and mutual respect is obvious....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'zx10knight' just be honest ..if you just meet up with some one and you keen for a shag..just say so...over last 2 years ive met so many that say they looking for romance .i play the gentleman and never see them again ..im to nice ,then there those that say there not into one night stand but get naked ...last one turned up at 11 45 pm ,told me she doesnt normal meet guys late at might and then between gags ,kept saying how much she loved sucking cock.. then when i contacted her again i told im not her type ...wtf..everybody know if you meet someone off here its not because you want them to meet your parants..so why mess around just say up front what you want zx10knightsure is a Catch 22 out there!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Bathsheba' You'll probably find the decision is easier to make if you stop judging yourself or treating sex as some sort of leverage. Just enjoy it or say no as you please. The rest will out the same way regardless.PS - love your outfit in pic...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Just wondering if the "sex on first date" is more of an issue for singles here than couples? Each of the couples we've met up with here have been sex on the same night and it's a complete non-issue. We don't actually care whether we do have sex on the first date or not, as for us the sex is just a natural flow-on if you're attracted to the other couple - it's just always ended up happening on the first date. Why should it be different for singles unless you're actually looking for a romantic attachment or relationship? In which case wouldn't a conventional dating site be more relevant than RHP which is after all a sex-focussed site.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'AllyKats' Just wondering if the "sex on first date" is more of an issue for singles here than couples? Each of the couples we've met up with here have been sex on the same night and it's a complete non-issue. We don't actually care whether we do have sex on the first date or not, as for us the sex is just a natural flow-on if you're attracted to the other couple - it's just always ended up happening on the first date. Why should it be different for singles unless you're actually looking for a romantic attachment or relationship? In which case wouldn't a conventional dating site be more relevant than RHP which is after all a sex-focussed site. I've think you've hit the nail on the head with your comments "single" verses "couples"....Being a "single" women from experiences, for me "sex on first date" can be an issue for reasons being...I don't have anyone as in partner to fall back onto..At least in a "couple" relationship looking for others then there is unwritten or unspoken trust is there between as their is already formed a commitment...you know at end of night or session you know very well you are leaving with partner - make a decision together - I guess the two of you make the choice together...Where being single have only that person whom shagged, then it's up to the two people who shagged to communicate and speak up...sometimes one person tends to ignore and not be honest in what they really want (disappears)...so therefore makes the situation a little more awkward. So for me being single would be more of an issue than with couple...I guess at the end of day comes right down to own personal choice and if want to shag or not with first meet...There is nothing wrong with sex on first date as long at two people consent...it more the after marth that matters then it becomes that catch 22...Maybe that "couples" verses "single" would make a great forum??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'AllyKats' Just wondering if the "sex on first date" is more of an issue for singles here than couples? Each of the couples we've met up with here have been sex on the same night and it's a complete non-issue. We don't actually care whether we do have sex on the first date or not, as for us the sex is just a natural flow-on if you're attracted to the other couple - it's just always ended up happening on the first date. Why should it be different for singles unless you're actually looking for a romantic attachment or relationship? In which case wouldn't a conventional dating site be more relevant than RHP which is after all a sex-focussed site. I've think you've hit the nail on the head with your comments "single" verses "couples"....Being a "single" women from experiences, for me "sex on first date" can be an issue for reasons being...I don't have anyone as in partner to fall back onto..At least in a "couple" relationship looking for others then there is unwritten or unspoken trust is there between as their is already formed a commitment...you know at end of night or session you know very well you are leaving with partner - make a decision together - I guess the two of you make the choice together...Where being single have only that person whom shagged, then it's up to the two people who shagged to communicate and speak up...sometimes one person tends to ignore and not be honest in what they really want (disappears)...so therefore makes the situation a little more awkward. So for me being single would be more of an issue than with couple...I guess at the end of day comes right down to own personal choice and if want to shag or not with first meet...There is nothing wrong with sex on first date as long at two people consent...it more the after marth that matters then it becomes that catch 22...Maybe that "couples" verses "single" would make a great forum??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If your after a relationship it seems old fashioned to wait but thats the chance you take, its the same with a potential Fb if it feels right why not.....it may turn into continual fb or FWB if it doesnt randoms shouldnt matter. I find it absolutely amazing about the respect attitude......OK when I was a teenager I got that lesson.....but as I am so much more mature now I thought adults could play games....nice sexy games.If I have to wonder all the time if I will be judged?? I should keep my pants on.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    be judgmental about the man! , some men is only interested in getting into your pants, so they walk after mission accomplished, other would want to explore more and further the experience and develop long term attachment.i guess it depends on what YOU want? vis a vis, if You just want a shag then go for it, if You dont then hold back..simple?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    depends on the encounter. but respect is always there 1st or not. fun is fun, if your respect changes on holding out or not, then their own morals are lame.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Obviously I meant it will turn out the same regardless. The older I get the more I believe that if a connection is strong enough those concerned will work through any issues such as how they met, who initiated what, how old they are, who already has children, what their parents think, where they want to live and so on and so on. If a guy goes off you on the first date, it's a pretty safe bet it was never going anywhere regardless of what sexual activity did or didn't take place....so you may as well get your end away in the meantime right ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The time/location of the first meet could possibly dictate what the expectations might be. Then there's also the conversations you've had prior to deciding to meet. Nothing more frustrating than someone talking themselves up and not delivering. If I was told prior to the meet that you wanna do this, that and the other to me and it didn't happen I probably wouldn't come back for a second serving of rejection. I think the most important thing is communicating effectively with your prospective partner.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I don't mean this to sound mean, but maybe you need to find a few better men. No sex should not really equal no interest in future in my book. Sex on the first date should also not lead to a lack of respect in future in my book. Of course that is MY book :). The respect one is the real kicker, everyone deserves a little respect :).

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'justforfunisall' I don't mean this to sound mean, but maybe you need to find a few better men. No sex should not really equal no interest in future in my book. Sex on the first date should also not lead to a lack of respect in future in my book. Of course that is MY book :). The respect one is the real kicker, everyone deserves a little respect :)Please re-read my forum question again...I didn't ask for your opinion on the men I choose, rather more a question i was putting out there on a males perspective on sex on first date (yeah or neah) simple question to answer really..and yeah your right "A little respect goes a long way"..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That if you're meeting a better class of man they are likely to show you a higher level of respect, thus meaning the original question wouldn't have needed to be asked in the first place because the guy wouldn't be judging you in such a way

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    oh no,it was ''A Few Good men''...no good men here Silverfox

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I agree with justforfunisall and torturedcliche. After all, you said: "If I "DO NOT" sleep with on first meet - and hold off cause want the respect...most men tend to loose interest and move on." Any respectful man would not behave in this way, if they were genuinly interested in having sex with you. Any man that tells you "now, or forget about it", is not worthy of your, or my, time. I must say though, I have not encountered it yet.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If both parties want to sleeep with one another on the first date, why not? I don't think the guy should lose respect with you just because you did. If he does, move on, he is hypocritcal.   Though in saying that, if wanted to sleep with a woman on the first date and we did not, I would be very keen to meet her again asap if I really liked her. The reason the guy losses interest is because he is not overly into her in the first place, though guys being guys will still sleep with the woman.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'lovetopamper' If both parties want to sleeep with one another on the first date, why not? I don't think the guy should lose respect with you just because you did. If he does, move on, he is hypocritcal.   Though in saying that, if wanted to sleep with a woman on the first date and we did not, I would be very keen to meet her again asap if I really liked her. The reason the guy losses interest is because he is not overly into her in the first place, though guys being guys will still sleep with the woman. That's a great answer!I asked for a MAN's point of view on this Topic as it's a debatable topic and continues to be a Topic with many of my single friends - dammed if we do and dammed if we don't ???Have tried out this theory and yes a person does loose all respect of other if sleep with on first meet - it's never the same self-respect is lowered..at the end of the day it's all about choices and if both parties did actually like each other and wanted to continue or one person just wanted a quick shag or not and circumstances like not knowing if they married or not..For me if I do sleep with someone on the first date - I choose not to go on 2nd date only cause I know deep down inside the respect is not there. Now If I didn't NOT sleep with them yeah of course I would go a 2nd date if I felt a attraction - my respect for other person would be very high.I have meet some wonderful people from this site..In my opinion there is no right or wrong as long as both parties agree to what it will be...I don't judge others for choices they make - at the end of day it comes down to being honest and knowing ones true self and personal boundaries..

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It depends (naturally) on the person. For some here, of both genders, everything is about the CHASE. They thrive in the notion of conquering someone, and the quicker the better. Their whole persona is focused at the end game, which is simply to get the person they are meeting naked and to have sex. Once that is accomplished, and the necessary kudo's are given, then they promptly forget about that partner (they have already achieved that goal) and start looking for the next.   Me, I am probably the opposite. If I end up having sexy with a woman on the first date, she would have to be pretty special (and not just taking the sex side here) for me to continue seeing her. Luckily most women that has occured with thought the same way, so a simple ONS ensured with both of us probably releived we won't see each other again lol

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    You've obviously been screwed over in this situation more than once and that's a shame, having said that, bundling ALL guys into one shitheap is not right.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Torturedcliche' You've obviously been screwed over in this situation more than once and that's a shame, having said that, bundling ALL guys into one shitheap is not right. No I haven't ..and NO I have not!It's true there are some really amazing men!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    are correct Tortured,everyone is different but unfortunately there is still some social conditioning around how women express their sexuality.Drives me nuts.The important thing is to have self respect,how others perceive your choices and actions should be irrelevant to that. In my opinion one of the worst words in the English language is PROMISCUOUS,imagine if it didn't exist,if we just got rid of it from out thinking ,our literature,our lexicons....our songs.....sexuality and the expressing of it should not be viewed as a commodity .

  • Zsuza69

    Zsuza69

    12 years ago

    It all depends on the man and woman and what kind of relationship your after. If your after a Fwb then shag away lol if your after a boyfriend well maybe not such a good idea but you do need to tell him what your after and what you expect. Most men will not loose interest if you tell them that you don't want to have sex on the first date because you wish it to mean more than just a shag. Either way tell the guy what you want and he will stay keen. It's when he doesn't know what you want is when he looses interest. Hope this helps :-)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • montyv12

    montyv12

    12 years ago

    I have waited tried to be the gentleman and have found that if you wait you gain the respect of the lady but by the third date if its still uneasy to talk or show emotion just call it quits and run for the hillsfor very right move there are plenty of wrong moves and there are plenty of fish in the sea this site will be the last place you will meet a keeper as we all are here for the self pleasure which ever way we get it

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ...choose and tell me honestly what you want.It's nothing to do with if you shag me on the first date or not.If you shag me on our first date I’ll respect you for the choice you've made (assuming I like you enough to agree)..If you decide to wait until your sure about how you feel. I'll respect you for your patience.How's that sound?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Worth the wait ? One more date is hardly a long time is it ?I never expect sex on the first date but when two people click it does happen, wonderful !But I would never expect it and certainly wouldn't lose interest, nothing like a build up and some anticipation to get the sparks flying !Heh heh, one date picked me up from home as it was on the way for her, it was very clear she wanted to come in and do me then and there but our destination was a booking so I insisted we honour it.The flirting, leg rubbing under table play was excruciating, and to cap it off I suggested a walk along the beach to help the meal go down before we went back to mine, she was just about apoplectic with horniness, was awesome ! We were lovers for a year before fate intervened.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Respect from a guy, if not let them go and move on. I have never slept with a woman on a first meet as I have always found that the "chase" is worth the wait. But each to their own.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ~sheesh~