RHP

RHP User

F43

Can I still be on here with an STI?

April 15 2013

hey all...I just found out a month ago that I have the herpes 2 virus even though I have never had a break out. It's not commonly tested for with STI tests and it's crazy to think that 1 in 5 people have it but most don't know! Anyways, after doing a lot of research on the topic and trying to find sex websites for people with STI's, I have come back here to find out what your thoughts are of me being on here but openly admitting that I do have the virus? It's so frustrating knowing that I have this and I would never lie to anyone or have sex without telling them first. I'm sure it would be a turn off to most guys but I didn't want to get any backlash or mean messages if I do decide to open up my profile again.

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    STI's are common and I would hazard a guess that there are a lot of people who may not know they have something like HSV-2 (the common cold sore being HSV-1 causes a lot of shock in some people when they find out).   There may not be a case for disclosure in an open forum or on your profile but I would think it is something that you would share with someone before jumping to the go with.   Most of these things can be protected against with medication or safe sex so if you are careful and disclose anything serious before running to the bedroom everything should be fine.... it is up to the other person to see if they want to risk it or not and mature enough to handle the information they are given.   It is good you have done the research since that will better arm you against any ignorance and help allay any fears they have.   I know this may not be of any help or use but they are my thoughts, do with them as you wish

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Sorry to hear you have had that bad news. I remember reading that approx 80% of the adult population have herpes 1 which can be quite easily spread to the genital area during oral sex. Hope you get some positive responses from people here - they are generally supportive and have some good advice. All I can say is you're doing the right and very brave thing telling potential playmates.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Just be honest on your profile. I think Some people don't mind at all.

  • lovman8

    lovman8

    12 years ago

    Your honesty is to be admired and I have no problem with you being here at all. I'm sure there is many guys in the same position and are re-assured by your presence. Stay sexy and keep having fun.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    thanks for that : ) I guess it never hurts to try!

  • Smilingwithfun

    Smilingwithfun

    12 years ago

    If you have it on your profile,people then can make a choice. You may start a good trend. Amazing honesty you show. I'm sure there are many out there that have STI's who are not as strong as you & would gain strength by your profile. I wish you all the best,you deserve it.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    thank you for taking the time to reply! I guess i'm just absolutely stunned that doctors wouldn't automatically test for such things..they only test for it if someone has an outbreak! ridiculous! the medical community should know better...but like you said..honesty is the best policy and I would hope that others out there are being honest as well : ) I hope you are having fun here xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hi! Sweetnsexy :) You are definitely that ..Thanks for opening up about such a sensitive issue .as they say "but for the grace of God go I" I just went to check up what's involved when sharing Sexual Intimacy it is a bit Limited but both can still enjoy eachother in different ways .. I also found some STI dating sites online if you're Interested here they are it's up to you if you check them out.. 1.STI Singles.com.au 2.Lovebugdating.net.au 3.Living Sphere.com Aus. Herpes singles sites.. That's just 3 .. Good Luck! with your search for suitable Playmates .. Cheers Lu :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    like the cold sore virus, lots of people have it and very rarely or never have an outbreak. The problem with herpes is that the sores can appear anywhere in the general genitalia area so a condom does not provide protection, that said the danger time is while there is an outbreak of sores ( just like cold sores). We wouldn't have any concerns playing with anyone that was honest enough to tell us, as long as there were no sores present at the time of play and you guys are obviously honest enough not to play IF that happened anyway. We work in an area where herpes and other STI's are of concern so we have a good idea of what to look for in a visual check. Nothing beats bloods and swabs though.Thanks for the post, it would be great if you do start a trend of honesty.Cheers

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    A lot of people are afraid to talk about STIs openly and honestly. If you have something people can/will treat you differently, some will ignore you, but only a few will verbally abuse you. I found this out the hard way when I was recently told I had molluscum, (very minor but annoying problem, spread by sexual and non-sexual contact, curable but takes time) telling others is the right thing to do, I would have been disgusted with myself if I had infected anyone else. I had to tell others exactly what I had after the first reaction (Didn't tell her I had an STI due to the stigma, said something along the lines of "It's not you, it's me - and I really mean that") and she told me I was a time wasting ass. It's a bit of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Honesty really is the best way to go. Out of curiosity, and this is a genuine question....if you didnt know you had it and they dont usually test for it, how did you know to go the Dr? Did it start as a coldsore or something?- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'sweetandsexy14'thank you for taking the time to reply! I guess i'm just absolutely stunned that doctors wouldn't automatically test for such things..they only test for it if someone has an outbreak! ridiculous! the medical community should know better...but like you said..honesty is the best policy and I would hope that others out there are being honest as well : ) I hope you are having fun here xx because its just that common, and they cant test unless you have an ourbreak   or they take ablood test only if you ask for that with your std, its a cost thing and often tests come back with a false positive and in wa then you have to ask for the blood to be sent to NSW to get a more conclusive test.   they say one in 5 have it   most dont know they have it you do not have to notify the health depeartment if you have it   and I think you will find a lot of people will contact you that are in the same boat, so its not going to be a problem and your honest about it.   It may cut out a few of your dance card but not as many as you would think

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    12 years ago

    Gold star to you miss S&S There are many carrying who know, and many many more who don't know they are. You are taking the moral high ground and acting with integrity through disclosure do that others may make a choice. Respect. (((((hug))))) DG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Just because there is high prevalence of the virus in the community doesn't make it okay to sleep around with other people without them knowing that you have HSV.Being on here doesn't transmit the virus to anyone, but not telling them you have HSV before you have sex with them is highly moral (probably legal) breach.HSV can develop into cancer down the line with some strains have higher risk than the others. I am not a lawyer, but I think if you know this and if someone you have sex without telling them you have HSV develops cancer from HSV he infected from you. He/she will have some legal right to sue to for negligence.Regarding STDs in general- it's not only a medical matter where you think 'Oh, I'll just make him wear double condom and he'll be fine'. There's also legal issues involve, so by disclosure you're not only protecting him but also protect yourself for a possible legal trouble in the future.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I applaud your honesty sweetandsexy.. I dont think too many here would come out the way you have. I noticed you also made reference to this on your profile.. I find your honesty refreshing and admire your thoughtfulness towards potential partners. Everyone likes to know if theres something to consider before entering into something they could possibly regret later..As you said, 1 in 5 adults have some type of herpes, so its more common than we like to think. I've been tested for STDs and all came back clear. I always use protection so I guess if theres 1 in 5 , I surely would have come across someone somewhere with something.. Because I've never been faced with such a decision, I dont know how I'd react. If wearing protection poses no problem, I dont think there would be a problem.. Jay...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I wouldn't expect it to be on your profile but would expect for someone to disclose it early on in person or something. And be clear about what it is because I thought it was a VW Golf.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    HIV type 2 can be picked up on blood tests as it leaves something in the cells easily identifiable from hsv 1( had a tutorial on the subject from a virologist at work). medication is available as a one day treatment taken am & pm. This antiviral stops replication of the virus if taken at the first sign of infection. Hope this helps SnS.

  • jensta

    jensta

    12 years ago

    Thanks for Sharing ... shows Warmth & StrengthI wish you luck ... xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hi everyone....thank you so much for the uplifting comments and I've always believed in honesty and I shouldn't have to feel bad for something that I can't control. Anyways, as one asked...I found out I had it after I went to get a blood test because my partner had a breakout. After I did my historical research I realized that I actually got it from my ex a couple years back and the DR then just thought I had a bad yeast infection. Not so! I've never had any signs or symptoms since which is good though. Also, I did find that I had to be very persistent with the DR to do a blood test as this is the only way to detect it unless you have a breakout and they can swab.   Trust me, I went through a lot of depression and guilt and anger and numbness and finally realised that I can't let this ruin my life! I have a few of the most amazing friends who were by my side contantly and that was the best thing I could have ever asked for to get out of my depression! Things could be a lot worse and if people shy away from me because of it then at least I always know I have my trusty vibrator to do the job ; )   I would definitely hope everyone else out there is being honest and insisting on a blood test along with the regular STI tests. It really doesn't cost that much people and isn't it worth knowing so you don't inadvertently pass it on to others?   Anyways, thank you again for all being so kind and I hope everyone is having an amazing time out there in life and be safe in your meetups   xx   Amanda

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    My Pleasure Hun :) I'm so very sorry you contracted it from someone that you Loved and trusted .. I wish you well and I hope you check out those other Dating sites I listed .Enjoy those Who are in the same situation as yourself .. Blessings Lu :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    you are too sweet Lu! Thanks so much for your help and support xx