Can a single that attends a swingers club regularly be called a swinger?

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  Mr_MrsJones

  12 years ago

  I have actually discussed this with several single and non single people of late and am in the process of writing and researching a blog post on the topic. Personally I am not a huge fan of labels or of trying to put people into neat little boxes based on one or two easily observed characteristics. However if I was pressed to answer this question in a yes or no fashion I would say no. My reasons for this are: a) The standard definition for swinging is 'partner swapping' therefore a single person by definition cannot be a swinger because they have no partner to swapb) The single person often has a different agenda and their focus is often quite different from an attached person who is sharing their partner. A single often has a more selfish viewpoint which is not always a bad thing but in my opinion is not in the 'spirit' of swinging.c) There are a proportion of single people who attend swingers clubs, parties and even have regular arrangements with couples who, once they find their own more serious life partner, will leave the lifestyle altogether and not share their partner with others.HOWEVER ( see all the singles on the site steaming from the ears and formulating their replies as I type this!). That does not mean that I think there is no place for singles in the swinging lifestyle. Nor do wish to exclude them from anything they wish to participate in. I also recognise that not all single people will leave the lifestyle if they become more seriously attached. I merely wish to point out to people that there is a vast difference between the attitude, focus and outlook of a single person from a committed couple and this is where I think people need to look and recognise the differences. How can a single person understand what it is like to watch your husband of 15 years fuck someone else? In 99% of cases they can't. Of course they are entitled to their opinions but at the end of the day most singles in the swing scene are just singles with a more relaxed and open minded attitude to sex. I would go so far as to say that a proportion of them are just looking for a way to get a hassle free fuck any way they can. Donning protective helmet nowMrs Jones.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  I totally understand what you are saying.But i must say after 20 years on the scene and owning a club for 10 years, i disagree sorry babe. Singles ( not all ) can be called swingers.Lees xx

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=swingerJust one example i found , have to open club now so cant continue, but research is a must for sure.Leesa

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  http://aribchase.wordpress.com/2010/08/23/swingles/

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  http://itsjustahobby.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/sex-and-the-swingle-girl/http://www.rmpfun.com/LifestyleFAQ.htm

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  Mr_MrsJones

  12 years ago

  Interesting that Urban dictionary defines SWINGER as couple and single. The same website defines SWINGING as straight partner swapping between committed couples. Clearly the two definitions contradict each other. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=SwingingThe same website gives three definitions for the term 'swingle / s' two refer to singles in the swing scene but one other refers to a swinging couple who are seeking a play partner because they don't currently have one. I do understand that the common definition for the term swingle is a swinging single and I see your point. As I said I am not a huge fan of labels and definitions and I most certainly do not think that singles don't have a place in 'the lifestyle' I just wanted to make the point that the two groups (couples and singles) often have widely differing outlooks on life and sometimes they need to take that into consideration when interacting with each other. You are right research is key. I have found in general that some of the best research available is your own personal observation though because a lot of stuff on the net is very unreliable. The secretive nature of swingers (both couples and singles) makes the collection of valid research and compilation of verifiable statistics extremely difficult. But that is a whole different topic. Perhaps we should do some surveys and stuff amongst those of your patrons that are willing to participate and put together a research paper to publish sometime.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'Mr_MrsJones' Interesting that Urban dictionary defines SWINGER as couple and single. The same website defines SWINGING as straight partner swapping between committed couples. Clearly the two definitions contradict each other. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=SwingingThe same website gives three definitions for the term 'swingle / s' two refer to singles in the swing scene but one other refers to a swinging couple who are seeking a play partner because they don't currently have one. I do understand that the common definition for the term swingle is a swinging single and I see your point. As I said I am not a huge fan of labels and definitions and I most certainly do not think that singles don't have a place in 'the lifestyle' I just wanted to make the point that the two groups (couples and singles) often have widely differing outlooks on life and sometimes they need to take that into consideration when interacting with each other. You are right research is key. I have found in general that some of the best research available is your own personal observation though because a lot of stuff on the net is very unreliable. The secretive nature of swingers (both couples and singles) makes the collection of valid research and compilation of verifiable statistics extremely difficult. But that is a whole different topic. Perhaps we should do some surveys and stuff amongst those of your patrons that are willing to participate and put together a research paper to publish sometime. Siounds good to me.Leesa

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Oh leesa I am a single that visits your club ....... do you know what I call myself LUCKY lol

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Leesa.............everywhere you look the definition is similar...a 'swinger' is defined basically, as a 'person' who indulges in social sex with others.... 'swinger' is singular...it means one person..........even wikipedia says the following...Swinging or (rarely) partner swapping is a non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. makes simple sense that if a person is swinging...he/she is a swinger.... i guess all that matters is what you choose to call your patrons....if its swingers...then swingers it is...easy peasy.........

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Thanks mike I agree. Leesa

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  MissSarahCurious

  12 years ago

  I do call myself a swinger, as a single, because my view on sex is that it need not be contained within the bounds of marriage in order to be a healthy and fun activity. It doesn't matter what your rules are or how you do it, it's the fact that you 'get it' (conceptually, I mean).

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