F53
Cancelling dates/hookups/meets
January 02 2018
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
It was about five years ago and I was sitting in the car in a pub car park and just about to go in for a lunch date. My phone rang and I answered it pretty much expecting to hear the girl friends voice but oh no it was the wife telling me that our son was crook and needed picking up from school ASAP...Ya get that.
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The_Antichrist
7 years ago
For no good reason, despite having a really good reason.... A. It’s part of my screening tools. B. My visits to a clinical psychologist has informed me of a condition that they call hyperarousal of the sumpathetic nervous system...other people may also know it’s more common label, which I may add I don’t feel worthy of, but otherwise known as PTSD.....and chances are that I’ve been a bad boy and not gone for a walk, or I’ve had too much coffee and I’ve worked myself up into an anxious bloody mess.... Then there’s the acceptable reasons of being fatigued and/or running too late to make any meet viable in my mind... None of these are personal, it’s just part of me at this point in my life... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Eiliethiya
7 years ago
On a thread a little while ago about being single for 5yrs and only recently starting to get 'stood up' for dates. The first guy...I gave a second chance to, and he did it again. No one gets the opportunity to do that to me again. It only takes a minute to send a quick msg to explain that something has come up. That I can understand. The silence on the day you've arranged & agreed to meet, then a no show, but then sending a msg a day or two later like nothing happened and asking to meet again...nope, not happening. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
...cancelling from time to time. I think you need a spanking. Can I owe you one? Please can I owe you one? 🙏🙏🙏 - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
7 years ago
Now getting to that point is hard to crack. I over think too much. If I couldnt meet some one, there would be a good reason and I would reschedule. I never use to be very much aware of peoples mental health. Until I met one of my lovers 4 years ago, He suffers from social anxiety. It can be debilititating. He not only felt bad for not meeting, but also would then isolate feeling like a failure. So be kind to those who dont meet. There maybe bigger issues going on. 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Seems to be man flu. The latest was a gentleman that l organised a 3some with another forumite. He messaged us both a few hours before to say he had the dreaded flu Poor guy must have died. Neither of us heard from him again. RIP.
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RHP User
7 years ago
My pet hate! 😡 Yes, strong word I know, but again pet hate is cancelling at the last minute or ghosting the day before or on the day of. We are all busy, tired, work, families blah blah blah I find it very disrespectful and inconsiderate, especially once plans are made. My time is just as precious as theirs, and arrangements have been made or travel, bookings etc. I not only find it rude, I also find it a turn off. Real men should be able to have control over their lives, not PAMF! ( yes I’ve coined my own term it’s happened so much) Here’s just a few reasons; - ummm I had to help a friend with his car - oops I fell asleep - damb I slept in - I was falling for you so I got scared of my feelings and stuff - I got back with my girlfriend - my girlfriend was getting suspicious ( ohh I forgot to tell you I wasn’t single) - I forgot to check my phone, what are you up to now? - oh the boys have asked me to go fishing lol - oh I have to shag the ex so I can stay at hers for free (true story 😳) I think I’ll stop there for now 🙄💩👻🤨 Sorry 😐😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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swingalingson
7 years ago
Best stay home. For any reason a guy is not feeling well 100 percent because he may be tired or not up to things. Better to cancel and try at a later date when performance will not be an issue. An introduction and first impression is so important. If i am not up to it,why try and have to explain why there was a performance issue.
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
People ghost because they are no longer interested and got turned off by something. (too many text exchanges turned them off/they are just too busy for you/following up with another etc). It's an easy way out to avoid confrontation. It's a shame cause it's making our dating/hook up culture and generation look bad. The only way to stop it, is to not do it to the next person. 😊 As for benching, they are totally unsure of you and are keeping their options open. They do keep putting you off not to see you or see you when only they want. Best not to sit around waiting for them. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Exactly! I have male friends who have been very open to their lover/s about that same situation only to be given a mouthful and not believed. 😕 Ms Foxy
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OkeyDoke45
7 years ago
Quoting 'Eiliethiya' On a thread a little while ago about being single for 5yrs and only recently starting to get 'stood up' for dates. The first guy...I gave a second chance to, and he did it again. No one gets the opportunity to do that to me again. It only takes a minute to send a quick msg to explain that something has come up. That I can understand. The silence on the day you've arranged & agreed to meet, then a no show, but then sending a msg a day or two later like nothing happened and asking to meet again...nope, not happening. - Posted from rhpmobile From another site, I had a couple who would dick me around (not literally, sadly) quite a lot. After a couple of cancellations (from their end) after much to-and-fro, it seemed they kept forgetting who I was and would message me expressing interest. I would reply and gently chide them that they already knew everything about me that they needed to know, all they had to do was check their messages. I would get this explosive reply that they were quite popular and it was ridiculous for me to suggest that they could remember everybody, they would sign off by telling me to bugger off and not bother them again. A couple of weeks later I would get another message from them again, same routine. It was daft. I finally told them to bugger off and blocked them - the first time I ever had to block anyone. Unfortunately they had my mobile number so they continued to message me for a bit.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Still haven't finished reading all the comments yet but stopped at yours, well said, couldn't agree more. These two parts from your post> "The first guy...I gave a second chance to, and he did it again. No one gets the opportunity to do that to me again." Same here, did the same thing for a long termer who then didn't show again And this> "but then sending a msg a day or two later like nothing happened and asking to meet again...nope, not happening." lol yes that seems to be the pattern. My theory, based on experience and what later came out, largely because I pressed for more information, is that they're married. The wife suddenly has a day off work or cancels her plans. The long termer above, yes it turned out he was married. But well said, I agree a quick text, how hard is that?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Haha 😂😂
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RHP User
7 years ago
Yes you can definitely owe me spanking
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megz85g
7 years ago
Only canceled once, very recently actually. Something came up at home, and I had to turn around 5 minutes from my destination. I felt horrible. I have been ghosted or cancelled on many times, never stood up tho thankfully. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Outside of rhp. We always speak to people with the intention of meeting up if everyone is happy to do so, but life happens. Shift work, children, illness or simply lack of time means unfortunately it doesn't always follow through straight away. Some are happy to be patient, others not. But in the end who cares, we just move on from the fake profiles and organise another meet with those we really don't want to miss out on. A little understanding and flexibility goes a long way. - Posted from rhpmobile
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wetrynplease
7 years ago
We have been stood up several times, so disappointing after the effort is made in preparation... One of our potentials was texting us throughout the day, right up to the point that we were driving to the restaurant and then nothing, no show, no answer to phone, no reason why. The biggest reason I personally was drawn to this lifestyle is the look of satisfaction on my wifes face when she is pleasured, unfortunately i have had to witness the look of disappointment on her face when stood up, part of the game i spose 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
That's it! Well said. 👌👌 I like that, "just move on from the fake profiles and organise another meet with those we really don't want to miss out on." Ms Foxy
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Mischeviouslad
7 years ago
Things can happen to people.... sure..... but I think most people just aren't paying attention within the very limited communication they have with others. Most of the faults are in the rush. Its been years since anyone has flaked out on me, and Im not just referring to this asylum. If you've kept your spidey senses open and actually taken some time in communication and paid attention, then you will know how to pre empt that kind of behaviour. DG
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Xxalex
7 years ago
She suffers severe depression and also physical pain from a back and hip injury.. If I didn't know her well and know the situation, I could understand how it would be very frustrating and a huge turn off.. And being honest, it still gets to me from time to time, especially if I'm having a bad day, I tend to take it personally... I guess if you didn't know the person you'd get pissed off and angry, say some nasty things and walk away.. Can't say it would help the person, but I guess that's life.. I have to help and support her often from having this exact thing happen to her... One group of people I always have time for and will accept nearly any genuine excuse from is single mums... To me, their child/children are like mum.5 If you want time with the mum, you have to have/make time for their kids... I would hate to have someone take advantage of me through this, and thankfully neither did.. But I get they are doing all they can for their children and have huge respect for that. Huge shout out to single mums (and dad's for that fact) that put their kids first in everything and often go without themselves. You are awesome parents. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Our only experience of someone cancelling was a single girl who at the last minute ghosted meKLeft the kik conversation and just became non communicativeI sent her a message on here and she replied her son was ill and had to go to hospitalthat can happen we all agree but i think it was cold feet more than anything and a simple text or message on kik to say cant make it is polite. When i looked back at the messages she brought in a male play friend two days before she was to meet me which i wasnt really keen on and said so twice she said thats fine and was happy to meet me on her own but i think her playmate had something to do with not meeting meMischa
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RHP User
7 years ago
I have had to both cancel and been ghosted/stood up. My reasons are generally always to do with my kids, if Mr gets called in for an overtime shift then I need to be home to care for the kids. Though I always make it clear that my availability can be sporadic and always try to give as much notice as possible if I need to cancel / postpone. Those that have arranged to meet with me and then ghosted, well that's simple, unless a legitimate reason is provided, then another opportunity will not be offered ;) It isn't difficult to send a message.
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RHP User
7 years ago
we have had this a bit....its really just unacceptable not to at least give a general no can do...how hard is it to say "sorry cant make it somethings come up" who cares what something is...just plain decency..we recently had someone not turn up and after waiting a good while noticed they had blocked us 10 mins before they were due....just spineless and pathetic. Glad you have opened this discussion
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RHP User
7 years ago
We had a couple we travelled a long way to meet and organised accomodation and 30 mins before we were to meet they nessaged saying they couldnt make it. It almost seemed like they were playing a game
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RHP User
7 years ago
We booked a spa suite, arranged obligations, sitters, ...hours before our potential playdate reveals he is a lover of sausage...luckily suite was refunded...we wonder does that ever work for people hiding their orientation? More strength to you whatever that is but its not for everyone and surely the deception and 11th hour confession is a waste of everyone's time???? Most people on here are great and many can even say no thank you with grace its a pity that not all are so up front. ps mrs b thinks you are BOTH very hot X
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