F31
Can't orgasm
April 20 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
From what they have found is they need to get super turned on and they sometimes think of fantasies that they like and has worked for them
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RHP User
11 years ago
using toys or just letting your hands do the walking?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Okay, so I may be a virgin, but I have had some interesting encounters with women in the Geelong area... ...What do you use to masturbate? What does 'sex' usually entail for you? Sometimes, the right sex toy helps? Correct me if I'm wrong, ladies, but it's my understanding that it would be hard for ladies to orgasm from sexual penetration alone (only 20% can do so, from memory). If there's a silver lining, though, at least you're not facing the problem that your clit isn't being stimulated though sex and/or masturbation.
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RHP User
11 years ago
thinking too much about it and trying too hard to reach the big O. Have you allowed someone to totally tantalize your entire body, not just your clit, slowly and sensually allowing you to sink into ecstasy by seducing your mind and your body?
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daddysmacks58
11 years ago
my friend had a similar problem, before we realized she wanted to try different role play, then she finally climaxed
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
You are overthinking it and wishing it to happen so much that your concentration is killing the feelings.Happens to me in a 69...my concentration on pleasing my lover makes me lose all the feelings of what they are doing to me.Maybe those "amazing feelings" were actually an orgasm but just not one of those OMG thrusting, writhing ones you might be expecting ?Try different paces, slow, fast, stop and start. Once your clit gets sensitive, rest for a few minutes and try again to see if it helps.ET xox
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
make sure you don't just concentrate all the stimulation only on your clit.Use your nipples, and inside as well.Ask your lover to stimulate you with sensitive touches all over your body but avoiding your erogenous zones or sexual parts to build up the tension and passion first.ET xox
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RHP User
11 years ago
from your profile that you are only interested in couples.....perhaps that is the key....if you are being pleasured by two people perhaps they could 'take it in turns to give you lots of oral,make you the focus of their attention xx Q
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
miss Certainly, I expect that you will have received all kinds if attention from guys pushing their sexual resume on how they're going to assist you. There was a similar topic several months back... I'll try to find it and send it to you privately, because the last time I offered a forum response, I received all manner of "interesting" messages from guys...who through they knew that woman's body, her mind and her experiences better than she did! In short miss Certainly.... The answer is in your own mind. Less thought and pressure on a result. More enjoyment of pleasure and it's delivery. Climax should never be a goal to achieve, but a stepping stone on the pleasure pathway. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is to relax. Allow your body to take you there not just your mind. But I feel there's more going on in your mind than you let on. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
You bet me to that one.... AGAIN!!! Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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daddysmacks58
11 years ago
there's alot of advice on here, but maybe you should see if life outside of sex is stressed out. we have to assume that you can cum by yourself,
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RHP User
11 years ago
one of the product catch phrases at work is...Relax, it's just sex. It is so true, there is so much bullshit pressure when it comes to sex. Relax and enjoy the ride, you are only young and need to get to know yourself. Bi_for_cpls is right, sounds like you could do with a real pampering and allow you to really relax into letting go.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hahaha just jokes there....but seriously I think there may be too much emphasis on the big O than needs to be. It's like the age old saying about life...life is not a destination, it's a journey. How about orgasms? Orgasms is not a destination is a journey. Instead of focussing on the so called destination, the orgasm, maybe focus on the journey. Let your body feel tantalised....let lust and passion take over....enjoy the way lust makes your body writhe and move. Be with the person or people who you can relax with and take your time with. Share cheeky banter...some light touches leading up...then feel your heart beat in expectation of that first kiss. You know what I'm saying? The mind is a sexual organ too....it needs to be stimulated just right....the skin....the lips....everything i say...everything.....it's not just about the clit or penetration. That sooo porn. Share fantasies....explore those options. But yeh never ever feel pressured.
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RHP User
11 years ago
at how many males are commenting
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RHP User
11 years ago
By Miss First_Base....haha
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madotara69
11 years ago
It's not a problem really, though has led to further remedy. Tara cums so damn easily through clitoral stimulation, so we have learnt that there is other ways to cum, that does not have the buttons so sensitive. So now we leave the clitoral orgasm to the very last way with cumming and it works a treat. Find someone who is patient and caring enough to share those cumming other orgasms and maybe your little clitoris, will show you something you really really enjoy in an exhausted kind of way, then just lay back and enjoy the sensitivity all spent and in recovery. Then spoon the night away in bliss. Mado Tara xx
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' It's not a problem really, though has led to further remedy. Tara cums so damn easily through clitoral stimulation, so we have learnt that there is other ways to cum, that does not have the buttons so sensitive. So now we leave the clitoral orgasm to the very last way with cumming and it works a treat. Find someone who is patient and caring enough to share those cumming other orgasms and maybe your little clitoris, will show you something you really really enjoy in an exhausted kind of way, then just lay back and enjoy the sensitivity all spent and in recovery. Then spoon the night away in bliss. Mado Tara xx
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FunandLoving124
11 years ago
Hey :) We have a great toy, its called a magic wand :) it has 7 speeds and plugs into the wall and it will guarantee to make you orgasm. Your more than welcome to come around and use it :) J&M x
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RHP User
11 years ago
certainlycurious......................YOU could be another Linda Lovelace!.........maybe try practicing or fulfilling all your sexualinterests.....one of them may do the trick.The best thing to do is JUST RELAX.........
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RHP User
11 years ago
As a guy, I apologise for all the humans without vaginas who have commented on this thread. However: Google Rockbox Get out your credit dard sign for delivery knock your socks off Maybe lose some teeth RA
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well it's not just females it seems that don't have that full happy ending ? I get the great sensations of it all even tho I I cut a shot off I don't nor have I been able to feel the power of climax for so long it shits me :( ever since I was cut (no more kids :)) As a result I've had to fake the feeling so as not to upset a lover :) although it's been while (bloody long while) since I've had a lover grrr that's another story
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'RandomAgent' Google Rockbox Get out your credit dard sign for delivery knock your socks off Maybe lose some teeth RA Rockbox as in the free replacement firmware for digital music players?
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Are you suggesting that the OP should purchase some firmware or purchase some downloaded Japanese Style Karaoke from Seattle?? LMAO that's too funny! Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
I don't think the OP wants to loose any teeth... That will not fix her problem. LOL.......Wrong hole Random... Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
I don't think you are alone. I also believe it happens a lot with some women and it's not a good feeling when this happens. As women we have so much going on in or lives (kids, work/study etc) that sometimes when we do go to orgasm we can't, our brains are too overloaded with stuff going on in our lives and it's hard to just try and block stuff out. We get so overloaded with stuff, that is important to us and we can't just switch off like a light bulb. For me I have to me in a good state of mind..stress and other related stuff I can't, sometimes masturbating does nothing for me...it's boring and does nothing for me, so I just don't go there until I am ready. There can also be medical side effects, like medications, UTI's, lack of sex drives as we age etc etc that can also effect a woman. I believe the secret would be to be relaxed and control muscle tension, as in mind body and soul. I don't mean to just lie there like a starfish, I mean tension as in your vaginal muscle tension and feel those muscles and work with them. If all else fails, maybe talk to a doctor as sometimes they can provide creams and other alternatives. Hope this helps.. Ms.Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Good Advice
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RHP User
11 years ago
Search Rock Box on youtube, watch the video! Definitely don't use your face RA
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Not sure why some people think the OP hasnt already tried toys.... or that they will automatically and instantly 'solve' the situation. Anyhoo..... I have experienced two women who would refer to "over-stimulation" which breaks them out of the mental focus they had to reach climax. Only by getting them outside of their head and enjoying sensation rather than putting so much attention on an end-point, could they let go. it was a form of re-training..... or re-wiring. We all train our minds to do certain things, or think in certain structures and changing those can not only take effort, but another persons efforts on our behalf to break old habits. DG
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The_lex
11 years ago
"more like a power tool than a sex toy" jeezuz RA that thing looks dangerous lol lexi
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'RandomAgent' Search Rock Box on youtube, watch the video! I love Run-DMC.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hitachi wand!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you haven't had an orgasm, I can't imagine you'd have one with a partner for the first time. I'd go the masturbation route. My friend told me she hasn't had an orgasm. I cannot imagine how frustrated she is and you. Keep at it. It will happen.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' I don't think you are alone. I also believe it happens a lot with some women and it's not a good feeling when this happens. As women we have so much going on in or lives (kids, work/study etc) that sometimes when we do go to orgasm we can't, our brains are too overloaded with stuff going on in our lives and it's hard to just try and block stuff out. We get so overloaded with stuff, that is important to us and we can't just switch off like a light bulb. For me I have to me in a good state of mind..stress and other related stuff I can't, sometimes masturbating does nothing for me...it's boring and does nothing for me, so I just don't go there until I am ready. There can also be medical side effects, like medications, UTI's, lack of sex drives as we age etc etc that can also effect a woman. I believe the secret would be to be relaxed and control muscle tension, as in mind body and soul. I don't mean to just lie there like a starfish, I mean tension as in your vaginal muscle tension and feel those muscles and work with them. If all else fails, maybe talk to a doctor as sometimes they can provide creams and other alternatives. Hope this helps.. Ms.Foxy I recently have had issues not being able to climax. It almost felt like my clitoris had lost sensitivity, like a numb feeling. I got treated for a UTI and then I came within 5 mins next time I was with my FWB. Do you think a UTI could have stopped me being able to have an orgasm? Sorry to hijack just when I saw you mention it I wondered if the two were connected.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Another great vibe if you find it hard to climax is the NU Sensuelle Point Wireless 20 Function Bullet Vibrator Its rechargeable from mains or USB and is soooooo powerful . Like it will walk down the hallway on its own if you put it on the floor!I have had problems with it overheating though. I paid $65.
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Yes! I dare say having an UTI can stop a woman from having an orgasm, as there is bacteria in the bladder which often can be very painful, sometimes can be very sensitive when urinating, as the urine's PH is effected. Sometimes Citrous and labia can become tender and sensitive. Happy to hear you got treatment and go go ORGASM! :))) Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Not sure why some people think the OP hasnt already tried toys.... or that they will automatically and instantly 'solve' the situation. Particularly since the OP says she loves to masturbate, and does get close to orgasm. I think this is much more of a mental block than a physical one.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It can be attributable to various things, and it certainly is a co-operation between mind and body. In my life experiences, some women are very easily aroused to orgasm, others take a long time. Three points: - ask questions, and in particular, ask women who have "solved" the matter- don't be too hung up on it, if you enjoy sex, you are already riding the train, the destination yet to be reached?- explore and relax.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lots of foreplay and maybe try a good silicone based lube, don't think too much about it and try to relax, perhaps a few drinks ...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Try a G spot Orgasm first, leave the clit hanging for awhile Im sure the little man in the boat will explode soon after
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RHP User
11 years ago
I started my sexual career at 15 and guess I have had my fair share of ladies in my time, now 45 and find that orgasm is harder to achieve and in a swinging situation with a condom its just never gonna happenMy thoughts are that this may be due to the been there done it concept which makes it difficult to get really excited. I find that you get to a point with swinging where it becomes like going through the motions where the lady just lays back and expects you to give her a good doing and that the lack of emotional ties makes it seem pointless for me and disappointing for the lady. I still have the same level of interest in lady's and think about sex all the time but the reality of it is not matching the expectationMaybe its because as we get older our minds play a bigger part in our libido as apposed to our testicles when we are younger
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
Direct clitoral stimulation hurts when I'm turned on.. But I have found through lots of sitting around playing with myself that if I rub just above it.. (You can feel like a raised shaft when you are turned on) And imagine a really hot scenario when I'm turned on I can hit a really good orgasm.. Hmm actually a couple of times... Hope this helps you... Xxviolet
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's about methodology and the way you connect with someone. If you turn someone on immensely your half a chance. I don't believe guys make the effort. It's like blow and there asleep. So yes it's about being turned on and also it's about technique - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
11 years ago
Just coming from a guy, it's Mado hi, we are very open in here when it comes to sex and Tara is more than happy for sharing our intimate and sexual expression, so she will read this, think it turns her on a little. he he. So from a guy who loves to play with the clitoris, been at it for some time now and what we have found to be the most intense, as Tara is very sensitive too, is teasing the clit, mostly done through foreplay, and time is of the essence with (focussing on vagina above all else for this purpose) stimulating the entire vagina inside and out and with the lightest of a tap with the pad of a finger once there is that flow of natural lubricant, then move away and explore coming back and little light taps to that tiny little sensitive clitoris full with nerve endings, drives Tara nuts. Me too. Mado Tara xx
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MessYourSheets
11 years ago
Hehe, just sitting here taking notes :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
not saying this is your case but i knew a girl who thought she couldnt orgasm. Turned out she was have many orgasms. I guess she always through orgasms were going otbe hard work, it turned out that for her they wernt. I say this because you say it feels really good. Just food for thought.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You spend the whole time thinking, " just relax", which leads to "i bet his jaw is aching" or "his wrist will be sore tomorrow" or any other useless thing. I've noticed orgasm has been hard for myself lately, either by myself or with a man. I think the issue lies more in being willing to give over to the sensation, almost as though I'm not prepared to lose control. Perhaps its the choice in lover of late or that a few things in life have felt out of my control. But I think its definately a problem manifesting physically coming from not being able to mentally give in and surrender to something that is outside of the bedroom. The physical stimulation needs to good enough to want more, if you're not going over the edge, then enjoy the moment, and try again later, there should be no pressure from yourself. Some of the most passionate sex I've had hasn't involved me orgasming. I'm sure that whatever is inhibiting will be resolved and then you'll find that orgasm in back in its beautiful abundance. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not claiming to be the love doctor here. More a case of having had an amazing experience with a lady in the same boat that foretells the future for the OP and promises good things to come. Once upon a time there was a very cool hippie chick who had a thing going with a pretty straight guy. Hippie chick teaching straight guy a few things. Fantastic BJ's, lots of cowboying, some anal and occasionally some missionary but all in all a very enthusiastic pair they were except hippie chick, despite getting wet at the slightest wink from the straight dude was not quite getting the fireworks at the finish, but then she never had. Until ...... Sitting and chatting on straight dudes balcony sipping cointreau one night (I can't remember why, but hippie chick was in a nice teddy. Man how I love a teddy). While chatting and clearly admiring the lingerie, I slipped my foot between her legs. Then with with my toes, which are rather long, began teasing her pussy. I was expecting her to slap my foot away, but no, the camel toe relaxed and the tell tale damp patch appeared. I shifted the play a bit deeper at which point she just rolled her pelvis forward and ground in. It was on. By now, I was bulging pretty hard against, which didn't go unnoticed by hippie chick. She bounced off her chair, slipped teddy aside, liberated junior and jumped on. Now first penetration is always pretty good, but f**k me, this was amazing. Wet, tight, hot and trembling. Yes, trembling inside and out. Joined like that we moved. Whatever she did seemed to make me harder and larger. What ever I did made her louder an tremble more. Our bodies were impossibly in tune Then she came first with a very load scream. I held for a second, but the sheer power of the waves inside her brought me on too. I joined the shouting and for a while we both sat there shaking, liquore glasses still in hand Cointreau flying everywhere. How we came down from that I don't know, but we held there for a while like that taking in what had just happened. While I'd had the time of my life, Hippie chick had slayed a demon and conquered the world. Hope she remebers it like I do! Oh, well, tale told. Maybe like hippie chick OP will break through unexpectedly. Good luck when you do but I'm a little worked up remembering that all. Better go and work on that now.....;-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Try watching some porn, always gets me in the mood to climax!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Things that can inhibit orgasm. Not just for women. 1. drugs especially anti-depressives, painkillers, even Panadol 2. tired, stressed, anxious. If you are 3. as noted, being too process-oriented (if I rub for long and hard enough I will cum) Instead of worrying about cumming, think of someone you would like to be doing it to you. See a doctor (preferrrably a woman) and explain. You could have something simple to cure, like PID which can make you feel unpleasant enough to stop you cumming. It i amazing how many owners of vaginas don't know themselves how they really work and what turns them on. And because they don't know, how can they guide anyone else? There are also sex therapists who can help. There is a line of very good porn made by women for women using 'real' people who are in loving relationships as distinct from XXX hardcore porn which mostly give people the complete wrong idea and I would recommend this as an aid. Just watch it and focus on how good the people are making each other feel I have a very good friend, an intelligent university educated lady who picked up every night she could from high school on. She had lots of sex with lots of different people, always enjoyed it and believed she was orgasming. Until she met her current partner, who obviously did something right (and married her). She said the first orgasm at the age of 39 and she had she thought she was having a heart attack or stroke.
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RHP User
11 years ago
My partner and myself have being together for 14 years and only recently have I learnt a technique that makes her soak the sheets every time my fingers get near her gspot. It's mind blowing to see how much she can squirt. All I can say is lots of foreplay and lube. Have fun. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Bideas
11 years ago
Many years ago an ex of mine would find that clitoral stimulation would become painful after a short period of time, whether it be a finger or a tongue regardless of pressure or speed/aggressive stimulation.I found this very had to fathom initially, as I had never come across such a hurdle previously. In the 10 odd years prior to our meeting, she had only orgasmed a small number of times. She too would get to the point of orgasm and then over sensitise and lose interest. Sexual penetration was commonplace for orgasmic delights throughout her past, present and hopefully future escapades - yet manual stimulation was rarely satisfying for her. After much exploration and determination, we found that massaging her gspot slowly with a finger, whether solo or by myself, she would get uncontrollably wound up before being a quivering mess of smiles. Since this time, I have met a small number of others who have similar sensitivity, with each requiring different considerations inorder to complete the sensations for said lady. My current lady partner instructed me of a technique that I had never before come across, one similarly listed above by Violet Incredible. This lady too has a sensitive clitoris, tho not to the same point of the ex detailed above, however this current lady can have direct clitoral stimulation until a point of arousal in which her clit becomes erect, then stimulation of the very top of the clitoris (between clit and belly button) which is higher than I as a male would have considered possible to stimulate a lady. This spot can make her orgasm in minutes, faster when she is in control (maybe my skills are lacking?)This being said, gspot stimulation will also drive her wild very quickly. Another thing to consider is your ability to focus on what you are doing. Laying in a quiet room, imagining your fantasies while focusing on where you touch yourself allows you too much room for over thinking and drawing blood to the brain from the areas you want the focus. Find some porn that really excites you, watch it and only focus on the porn, only start touching yourself when you are fully immersed in the sights and sounds. Don't touch yourself with vigor, just enough to keep yourself involved. As you become more excited you'll be able to adjust pace when necessary, with focus always on the porn you should be able to prevent over thinking and ride the pleasures home. Good luck on your endeavors ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
What do you do? I personally think Superfoxxy has it on the nose and I note that a lot of people have mentioned stimulation of the body, not just concentrating on the clitoris........... Just an addendum to that.......... Have a hot bath, as hot as you can handle it, this makes your body more sensitive to touch. If you have a nice silky soap, start using that on your body, concentrate on your overall pleasure, avoid your main erogenous areas (nipples etc)..... When you feel that beautiful balance of body sensitivity, you can stay and masturbate in the bath, touching your breasts, lightly trailing your fingers over your lower stomach etc...... Just the feeling of the heat, being enveloped (security) and relaxation of muscles, might help!!! Or if you want to be in your bed, to keep that warmth going, use a pleasure gel for women (frenzy is pretty good), just enjoy the feel of it all....... I hope you achieve what your aiming for.
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hardnslow
11 years ago
You are young and probably trying too hard to achieve that eluding pleasure but are you, you don't know what you are going to expect, be like a bottle of good red wine you will mature with age and get better, enjoy the ride and don't forget your G Spot helped my ex to get thereHave fun xo
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RHP User
11 years ago
We have been there ourselves... Him also with another girl previously and she had this issue before... every time we found it to be related to over thinking, mind troubles, anything but physical problems. Just a support for all the other people's advises encouraging you to try and figure out the psychological side of it! Best of luck with this, we are sure you will find a way of overcum this issue! =) Btw, if you would like to have a chat in person, we are happy to arrange a meeting and discuss this matter in a relaxed conversation, maybe it would help! ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Certainly Curious, My first wife had the very same problem (many years ago...). We've divorced since and I've not had to deal with it since, but I was married to her for 11 years and we tried all sorts of methods and all sorts of erotic and exotic things. Even went to a Psychologist who specialized in Sex problems. After giving us exercises to do... which are for two to practice, but that didn't work either. He got her to buy a book called "BECOMING ORGASMIC". I don't know if it's still in print but a search online should tell you the writer or publisher. This was in the early 80's BUT it worked. I apparently explained to her WHAT was happening to her and why and what she was subconsciously doing to make it impossible to reach climax. (I'm assuming you've never had an orgasm?)... If so, it may still be pertinent to whatever you're going through. It's basically a female version of the male problem "Performance Anxiety". You're now so uptight and 'conscious' of the problem that you are worrying about 'getting there'. And men can tell you (in relation to 'performing'), if you get to the point when you place so much pressure on yourself to get it working, there's no way it will. It so very counter productive that it literally stuffs up the chemical reactions that would normally take place and produce an orgasm (or in the case of men, erection or orgasm (can be either, which not many realize). Anyway, I hope you can find the book. It did work wonders for her in the space of a week. Good luck... In fact this post is a few weeks old, so I hope you've blown yourself out the door by now...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have the same problem. I have never had an orgasm with someone.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have a similar issue, I think I killed my clit with kindness haha, and now can only get off with a toy (many have tried!)or dual stimulation, being internal and external. Just last night, Mr D finally after some 12 years of patience watched as I orgasmed through anal stimulation. It was also the first time he was able to take my ass. :) Truly, the powers of relaxation, distraction (and breathing) and my mantra of "I don't care" (ie it's not as bad as childbirth) gave us both an exceptionally wonderful session. I've figured that lately I need more extreme sensations to push me over the edge. Lots of discussions have been had to see what it is that I need, and Mr D is more than willing to try anything! Lucky me :o) Ms D - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
in a cowgirl position. Adjust yourself and move in ways that feel good to you. Keep going until it happens. Of course, you need a 'stayer' for this.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi there I have the same problem and everytime I don't climax I blame myself any tips on how to finally hit that climax - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have someone who can and I have a good vibrator lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Quoting 'CplLooking4fun1' Hi there I have the same problem and everytime I don't climax I blame myself any tips on how to finally hit that climax - Posted from rhpmobile Step 1..... believe that you DESERVE PLEASURE..... blaming yourself... won't allow that
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RHP User
11 years ago
Women CAN orgasm??! - Posted from rhpmobile
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