Can't orgasm is it a psychological or medical issue?

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Guess it really depends on the stimulation a woman feels during sex, the level of arousal and let's face it, sometimes   the planets have to be aligned!   Some women, due to their physical make up, can almost orgasm at will.   I was with a lady last year that had 13 orgasms, mostly through masterbation.   She, like some other women, has a very sensitive and responsive G spot, which can lead to multiple orgasms.   Good tip though, always carry some lube with you, the best lube has a silicone base.   Cheers

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  I don't think it's an issue with her at all. I think it maybe your predisposed expectations are the real issue on this one. Enjoy each and every situation and experience for what it is at the time.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  She shoulkd have been sufficiently aroused to have some moisture there. If there was insuffiecient then at 19 I would suggest that she was not turned on. Never had an orgasm at that age is not uncommon as I was a few years older before having my first. It is the lack of wetness that is a concern. This can be medical or mental and with such limited infornmation it is difficult to say.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  It sounded like she enjoys sexual activities without being aroused.First investigate whether her clitoris is enlarged or not, her nipples, to see the physiological response of being aroused- very much like men having erectile dysfunction leading to inablitiy to reach orgasm.Measuring hormone level will help distinguish whether it is physiological or psychological.If it is psychological, maybe she has performance anxiety. PS. Psychology is a branch of medicine

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Quoting 'passionatepair4u'   Some women, due to their physical make up, can almost orgasm at will.   All women can.... and so can many men.It simply takes a degree of comfort, connectivity, experience with eachother.... and a heightened stage of mental and physical arousal.DG That's premature ejaculation- a state when one is hypersensitive to arousal.I have to disagree with your statement that 'All women' can orgasm at will. I mean, if it takes degrees of comfort, connectivity, and experience with other people- how can it be 'at will'? Also, may I see a reference for your fact?

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  the contraception she uses, some women on hormonal types of contraception experience dryness. Certain parts of your hormonal cycle can do it too.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  by the statement''with no lube'',perhaps you don't mean to sound cold OP but you are both twice that young woman's age and I would have thought you both would have paid attention to her lack of arousal before he ''entered her''.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Im not saying you shouldn't be playing with a 19 year old..but Im just wondering what a 19 year old gets from playing with people old enough to be her parents ??.....Im not saying its wrong..Im not judging but it unusual ....at that age she should be hanging out with kids her own age or a bit older......and yep shes still a kid....WTF does anyone know at 19 ??? except most of the time they hate anyone over the age of like 32 with any authority...   But in answer to your question............there is myriad reasons why she was not wet - physical , hormonal, psychological , emotional, etc... she could have been scared of the unknown...god who knows ??? - but I have to say that if she was not wet then some responsibility ( a heavy word in this context) to be begin with lays with both yourselves and perhaps instead of your husband entering her.....things may be should not have progressed that far without a fair bit of communication..did your husband really want to fuck her without her obvious arousal ??...however there is way too little information to make more comment because we do not know everything that went on....a few lines...and yes she may have consented just to keep you both happy..the only person here who knows is her....   Yes women can enjoy sex with orgasm..so can men..the orgasm is not the be all..it is the end to a means and most of the time it is the destination..... but it is not the journey....and the journey can be beyond pleasurable...   On a personal note..I would never want to fuck someone...who was not obviously aroused and into me ...but then ..thats me...

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  CrackUp

  12 years ago

  I hope that 'sexual' experience sketchily alluded to in your post was not her first - I daresay, should she be privy to your post, she would be mortified and never want to have sex again. Every woman is different. I went into premature menopause before I basically even knew what 'sex' was.. needless to say, it affected my ability to 'lubricate' from a very young age. Orgasm, as much as the blah blah blah on here insists otherwise, is still difficult for many women. I think the best thing anyone can do for another person, when being allowed to interact with them on such an intimate level, is show them some respect, care and some feeling for them as a fellow human being. Not as a piece of meat that wasn't up to your taste buds standards.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  you guys are 37 and 43.... do you think that maybe she was pretending to be something that she might not be ready for? "surprised at such age why she was not wet" Ummm ... a misguided but wise man has told me that there are no surprises in this world.19 for many is so young ... she is on her journey and has been brave enough to choose you two to help - orgasm or not, its a learning process for everyone She may have jumped in the deep end but orgasms aren't everything when you are learning about your sexuality. Be honoured that you've been a part of someone else's journey.Geez I hope that made sense!!!

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  rupamohan

  12 years ago

  The post I put in here had a description of background and at the end some questions. Thankyou to all who could focus on the questions. Thankyou to others too who could extend that focus.. and to all who tried to over read and get into moral lecturing judgemental mode..It was not helpful but we respect your choice to post what you like..

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Actually... it has nothing to do with premature ejaculation at all.I do not wish to sound condescending... there was a time I didnt think such things were possible either. And then I took several paths that showed me what I didnt know existed.Arousal is a mental process, primitive, and predominantly beyond conscious control, so in accepting that..... with the correct mental stimulation it is entirely possible for women and men to reach climax with NO physical stimulation whatsoever.And if youve ever had a wet-dream, or asked a woman if she has had climax in her sleep.... you'd understand the effect is entirely possible.And if you've ever known women who can do it, or you've managed to bring women to climax without physical stimulation, then you'd confirm that it is entirely learnable.There are available references of sorts, non-mainstream channels of learning..... but if I can make the effort to investigate out of curiosity, anyone else can too. DG 1. You talk someone into having an orgasm, this is without having a penetration- how is it not a pre-mature ejaculation?I think what you are talking about is orgasm without intercourse, which is another story. Still, orgasm is influenced by autonomic nervous system (unconcious control) , and erection is under parasympathetic branch hus, to sTay that one has an ability to reach orgasm at will is wrongYou mentioned that one can have orgasm 'at will'- will 1 (wl)n.1. a. The mental faculty by which one deliberately chooses or decides upon a course of actionI doubt that one can deliberately decide to have an orgasm anytime she/he wants. To be able to reach orgasm you need to pass 1. Arousal, and 2. Erection stages- there have to be these steps before orgasm, which means there has to be preparation before orgasm. Meaning that orgasm cannot comes on suddenly as one wishes.Wet dreams or climax during sleep are bad examples because they occur autonomously. You cannot control when you'll have wet dream and at which point of it you'll have orgasm. Still, before orgasm from wet dream you still need arousal, erection, and orgasm. You were agreeing to a statement what some people can have orgasm 'at will' and that it is 'beyond conscious control' are contradicting.Also, do you consider smells, sounds, sights as senses? If you talk someone to orgasm surely she is listentinening which involves physical stimulation of the ear structures. Therefore can you say that talking to someone is purely 'with out' physical stimulation? I do believe you can get someone to orgasm without physical contact or penetration, but surely not without physical stimulation (probably not true with wet dreams because there is no stimulation from external sources, but we still hear, smell, etc. in our dreams- I think it's more complex. Although, still involve neuronal firing and neuronal synapses which are the physical side of it).

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  I know what exactly your talking about .. hard luck for us as we left you half the way that night..May be we should try longer hours when we meet next :)

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Yeah, I can do that, too.As for the poor Spanish lass... I, too, can't get over the "couldn't stick it in her" comment. Call me judgemental.

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  rupamohan

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'poojaRaj'I know what exactly your talking about .. hard luck for us as we left you half the way that night..May be we should try longer hours when we meet next :) Hi guys hope u r doing fine. Nothing to do with you guys that nite. You guys were gr8 ...this is the girl we played with in sydney...I don't think she is dating online. Definately not on any adult site.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Relax. No slight intended or should be taken.- Posted from rhpmobile

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  madotara69

  12 years ago

  With the background you have given, I read that you see the lady as beautiful,petite. If so then there is a sense for some admiration with your reasons to her. It seems as there had been discussion for the ladies ability to reach orgasm, and that she still enjoys sexual activity, if so then it appears she wanted to engage for intercourse with your husband, I guess the difficulty entering without lube was for reason, I also feel that there was the element with trust between you as a couple and the lady.I hope that is the way you would like the background to have been thought for. With respect for your husband, there seems to be no lack of care, and an awkward level with discomfort. I guess that there must have been some wetness to continue once penetration had been achieved.I say that only for times when we have persevered on dryer days, it happens throughout the female cycle, with a little care it can be overcome without the need for lube. Sex can still be enjoyable with orgasm still reached.The answers for the questions maybe for the ladies to help there. Though there is a lot of people who have suffered with trauma that can lead to many problems related. A lot of people suffer from trauma alone.I do wish that you can find some answers for your concerns.Mado

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'Messolonghi'Yeah, I can do that, too. As for the poor Spanish lass... I, too, can't get over the "couldn't stick it in her" comment. Call me judgemental. I've had them in my sleep!

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  I can attest to the fact that a lack of wetness does not equal a lack of arousal. For me, I have never really gotten very wet when aroused. I can be horny as all hell but still dry as an outback creek bed in a drought and require lube. It's just a natural thing I think, some people can get very wet very easily, others remain pretty dry no matter how aroused they get. When we have sex and I don't need lube, it's an "OMG, that's weird" moment.

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