M48
Cheating or not cheating
May 12 2016
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Looking at your profile and what you had to say...It seems like you want to stray some as well. It becomes a little inconsistent reading your profile and your post. I am not judging ether but it certainly seems like both of you may have got to stage when things are stale for some reason. It is not possible for us to draw a conclusion as to your wife cheating on what is supplied. It could be innocent... a sexting thing ...or other guys full on. I go with ChucknShell have a cat about open up your relationship a bit and see how the conversation goes...
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Mr_MrsAraps
9 years ago
Same as well for not passing judgement. I agree with shells and Curvie but would also say before the open discussion, have you discussed fantasies based around an open relationship eg fantasies of other people or threesomes etc and if you have what has been each of your reaction during/afterwards. A discussion around fantasies with people outside your marriage will give you an indication of how a discussion around an actual open relationship might pan out. If she is totally against her it you having someone outside your marriage it may make it harder or she might be afraid to tell you the truth (that she also wants to fuck other people) Good luck, W - Posted from rhpmobile
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social_suicide
9 years ago
If she is cheating, and has no inclination towards being contrite, then tell her to pack her bags and go. If any discussion relating to her suspected cheating is conflated or worse ignored, tell her to pack up and go. If you need absolute proof then tap her phone with software, fuck the ideals of privacy when cheating is strongly suspected, you don't need to respect a cheater in any way.
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
You appear to have a "single " male profile on here ? Do you intend to play alone without her ? Does she know of your profile on here ? Yet you seem to play / party alone ? You are married are you not ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
But i will say what everyone is thinking. Your marriage is a little.........broken. You have a single profile and state you are looking for some action. No different to what you suspect your wife is already doing. If you had been able to find that "fun" , would we be having this discussion? If you had been successful in here and your wife had been unable too, you'd be happy. You cant compete with females in the fucking stakes, here or in the outside world. If you want real answers have that discussion with her. But be honest with her. Tell her you already have a profile here? Make it a level, honest discussion. You want her to be honest with you? Well man up and be honest with her. So thats what we are all thinking OP. Good luck. Life sucks sometimes........
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RHP User
9 years ago
You have both already made your decision. You both seem to have given up..... Up to you both now if you wish to save anything from it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Judge not her.... lest you be judged. Thats not a religious reference.... I just think you want everything your way. The wording in your profile is quite specific. And to consider its fine for the rooster to roam while the hen stays at home.... makes you a hypocrite.
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Katkat
9 years ago
Try talking to her in a nice way not angry you will push her away may be suggest you both have an open relationship or go to party where you can both play or swap partner if you feel that your relationship needs spicing but set a boundaries or limits what you can do or not do. But if you feel in your heart that you no longer love her then maybe best to take a break from each other I know the feeling you both have been together for almost 20 years but the other doesn't compromise or not being faithful specially if kids are involved it's not that easy to say goodbye. Usually liars will always use a reverse psychology on you & turn it around but it would be best if you are honest to yourself & not lie about it & just open up then at least you will not regret saying you didn't try. I know my ex cheated on me for sure but stupid of me was so blind for many years love is blind, only last year I realised enough is enough I've had it I don't care anymore. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
sounds like it's pretty much over dude. If what you say is correct, it's just a formality. Neither one of you are together in any sense of the word. I'm not judging you but even in an open relationship, you need some form of togetherness, you need to be into each other in some way. Doesn't seem like anything is there really, but then we don't know your situation. Talk openly and honestly, decide whether you do want to stay together and open up the relationship, or whether you both want to move on. Either way, it's unhealthy to stay like you are
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RHP User
9 years ago
From strangers here is useless. You know that your marriage is a trainwreck,if your wife is nt prepared to discuss this...get some professional help . Eighteen years is a long time...you both need to want to save what is left,or move on Q
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madotara69
9 years ago
you may ask yourself "Why is she hiding this from me ?" and be honest with yourself, if you want her to be honest with you IMHO Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
...and the horses have bolted. If you can get back together again either in the paddock or back on the farm, sit down, have a calm and mature discussion and go from there. Be prepared if you agree to go your separate ways and try to do that as gracefully as possible. All the best, it's a tenuous situation.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Mate, I havent checked your profile because its got nothing to do with your question. And i will not judge you like others have.Its a serious question. After 18yrs of marriage, you need to find a way to be able to speak openly and honestly to your wife. Sometimes you need to just put your balls on the table. This is something my wife and i are learning to do on the subject of sex, to be totally open and honest is fucking hard.If you think she is cheating what have you got to lose? The conversation my bring you closer or not. Btw. My wife didnt put her balls on the table. Just saying!
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
OP's profile on here has nothing to do with the question? But like a crime investigation but ignoring the murder weapon. Its all pretty much relevant when we form our opinions. I dont think anyone judged him as such. We feel for him in his situation. As we feel for you in a very similar situation.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yes, I haven't seen any judgment here, more fair play and facing reality type comments and all to me pretty much saying exactly what you said, to man up, talk to her, it'll either end or not, well that's a quick summary lol and I have some experience in this field so you might want to lose the chip on your shoulder. Most people have at some point been where you are. We all have needs and I get that, no really, I do get that, as do others. We're a more understanding bunch than what you might think 😉
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Livingandloving2
9 years ago
Nobody else could possibly give you the answers to questions other than your wife. I really hope you are able to resolve your issues. Mrs LAL xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Lol By saying I'm not judging must make it ok to judge. I just felt sorry for the guy and hope he can work it out with his wife 18 yrs is a long time. I think positive and constructive answers are more helpful. I'm taking my chip and going. Good luck Blaze023
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RHP User
9 years ago
No for me, saying I don't judge means exactly that. And you seem to think giving advice on saving the relationship is the only 'constructive' advice the op should be getting. That's an option perhaps, we don't know, up to them to sort that out, but it's not the only option. There is life beyond. I can testify to that. Sometimes beating your head against a brick wall isn't healthy or happy for either person. And the partner has to want that. As far as judging, I'd be the last person to do that, whether I say it or not makes no difference 😉
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social_suicide
9 years ago
So there is a massive difference between being judgmental and making judgements. This post only requires a judgment on what has been posted, bringing in the OP's profile is being judgmental........no ifs or buts. Being judgmental is getting a kick out of making negative moral assessments of other people which at least a half a dozen people here have done. Being judgmental enhances peoples own sense of moral worth by comparisons with the (supposed) lesser moral status of others. Yes you all can deny it however all that was required was an answer to what had been posted.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I believe there's a statement "What's good for the goose is good for the gander"!As earlier respondents have said, either open up your relationship or split.Does she know of your profile here & is having her revenge?
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RHP User
9 years ago
about 'your' relationship means that your relationship is not working. Solve the issue with each other or go your separate ways. When partners In a so called intimate relationship don't want to be intimate (ie: communicate their needs, desires, wants) then it's best to be honest all round and walk away. So painful otherwise. You're both living a lie and running away from the truth. Well that's how it appears to me.
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sweetgem
9 years ago
You and your wife are both straying outside your marriage, if you are not already cheating on each other! However, whether or not you both have already had sex with other people, it's not important in my book because, you both have already broken the vow you made on your wedding day by: 1) you come on RHP alone and 2) your wife is doing all the flirting things as you've described! Therefore, it is not a fair go if you think your wife is cheating while you're on here! Like some other commenters have advised, do seek professional help if you needed to and you need to discuss this issue with your wife soon, before the suspicion kills your sanity! All the best OP, sorting things out in a marriage is one hell of a mind draining process to get through in life! Be focus, be rational and try to maintain a clear mind would be helpful in your situation. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Move on I touch myself. Everthing isn't all about you. This thread been hijacked. 😆
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RHP User
9 years ago
If you believe deep down they are cheating, then they usually are. You have a better idea than any of us Time to have THE TALK and for both of you to decide on, if this is really the relationship you both want and need in your life now and if it is , time to redefine acceptable and unacceptable behaviours for both parties and if not, how you are going to wind it up as amicably and with as much dignity as possible
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Whynot02' Move on I touch myself. Everthing isn't all about you. This thread been hijacked. 😆 just counted our posts and it's 3 all so it's juice, your serve
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RHP User
9 years ago
I would ask her, you both are perhaps looking for a change and maybe if you tell her you are on a site and suspect she is up to something also . I would suggest doing something together like setting up a couples profile or trying swinging etc.Could end up be a lot of fun and saving 18 years of marriage provided you both want that . Good luck.
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
The OP is judging his wife. Or asking us to judge her actions. We can pass judgement on the facts he gives us. I dont really think its fair to make a judgement on one side of the story without the other. Facts are, he thinks she MAY be playing around. Facts are we KNOW he WANTS to play around. Facts are we all think the marriage is in trouble Have a look at the title of the thread........ Cheating or Not Cheating Well taking the title of the thread into consideration..... She MAY be cheating. The OP IS cheating. Not judging him. Judging the situation
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RHP User
9 years ago
You know your wife better than any of us and you are the only person who knows why you're in here and why you have your profile set up as it is. I agree with those who have advised you talk to your wife about opening your relationship and being with others with each other's consent. Who knows the opportunities this chat with her may open. 18 years is a long time to be married. We all change through life and maybe you both just need to make some changes to your relationship to suit your current needs and interests. Above all, talk to your wife. It doesn't matter what any of us in here think if you're not prepared to talk to her about this as nothing will change if you don't take that step. Hope you work things out with her. Ms Yang xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
I can't believe I spelt deuce as juice 😏 well that's embarrassing but yeah let's just run with the double meaning 😜
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RHP User
9 years ago
pulled the seats out and found 2cents there...I don't want them.. so, I will throw them in here.... 1c "OP has fantasies about being fckd around on.."2c "He would get off big time EVEN THINKING about her going out with a possibility of it happening" This is NOT judging him.. OR the professed "Her".. It is a simple observation.. and I hope he gets girl who will play that game with him.. I understand it is a pretty powerful emotion..
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inspirit
9 years ago
Grab a bottle of José and two shot glasses. Get smashed, have some mind blowing out there sex, then have a chat. You're souls will surley be open then. Honesty is the best policy.. overthinking is never a great idea. Good luck. - Posted from rhpmobile
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