M41

Cheeting Cougars

August 14 2012

Did you know?Cougars, panthers and pumas are ALL THE SAME ANIMAL?! But then depending on where you are, a panther can also be either a jaguar or a leopard, which are different species, or technically, even a lion or tiger, because they're all in the family 'panthera'. In fact, there is no such animal as a 'panther', nor even a 'black panther'. And not only do cheetahs never prosper, though they look like jaguars and leopards they're in an entirely separate genus!Cat nomenclature be a veritable labyrinth of self-referential cray!Feel free to drop any of this knowledge into your attempts at seduction, but be careful with its awesome potency. All I ask is that you name your firstborn after me. Sincerely,Neptune_Drift**The underscore is silent.

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RHP User

12 years ago

Ugh. That should obviously be the 'genus' Panthera. The family is Felidae, as in feline. Idiot. This is why you don't drink and post.

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RHP User

12 years ago

Thank you for yet another edifying post. For a short time I lived in the Santa Cruz Mountains of California and have had personal experience of encountering cougars in their natural habitat.There were a few cougars or mountain lions who we shared our home with,over a hundred acres of red wood forest During spring it was the mating season.The sound the female makes when mating is the most spine chilling sound I have ever heard.Similar to a high pitched human scream. So Mr.Drift,always approach a cougar with caution,especially in their natural habitat.Rarely seen during the day,they prefer to mate at night and tend to stalk their prey.However encountering a cougar, can indeed be an amazing experience.,one which you may never forget.x Hugs H

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belladonna888

12 years ago

Way past my first born babe , what else can i honour your pearl of wisdom with :) Bella

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RHP User

12 years ago

Hi! Neptune_drift.. :0 Now doesn't that feel much better?.. flexing your verbal skills and enjoying mental stimulation from sharing this knowledge with others. I found it quite Interesting...Man You're warped in a fun way he!he! I'm a Mature Woman who enjoyes the company of younger Guys as I'm sure you're aware of by now..I don't consider Myself to be a cougar ie an emotionally needy Woman who wants validation of self worth by having sex with younger guys ..However I do bring out My Inner Panther to play when I skillfully Pleasurably aroused to the max by My Lover..Then I make a gutteral sound in my voice and Man watch out funtime in the bedroom tonight or anywhere else I want ha!ha!...Keep the info Coming Hun.. enjoy Ciao Lu :)

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RHP User

12 years ago

Already have a first born Mr,Drift,but I promise to name my next chook Neptunex Hugs H

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RHP User

12 years ago

You'd make a good teacher, I expect. The 'Panther' on my right shoulder was chosen for several reasons. Firstly, I needed something to balance the Cobra on my left shoulder. I selected the Panther partly because one of our cars is a classic Jaguar and also because it fitted in with my Martial Arts background (from years gone by, I'm afraid)

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RHP User

12 years ago

Lions, tigers and leopards belong to the family Panthera do not purr at any time in their life. Only cougars, which are in the family Felis, same as our housecats, actually purr! Pusscat xxx PS it's cheating not cheeting!

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RHP User

12 years ago

Unless "cheeting" was an intentional play on words with "cheetah"? If not, Nept, say it was.

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RHP User

12 years ago

Pole cat, desperatus. Related to the mangy pole cat. Habitat dark bars and RHP forums Can be seen shopping for Bridget Jones panties in K Mart or at the local sex shop, depending when the specials are on. You would not know if pole cats wear a g string as it gets lost in the folds of its arse. Eats chocolate while sitting on the couch watching love stories, or home and away. Thinks that the hot sex you see up in the movie s is real and that she will find true love on RHP Wears prints of dead animals, usually bought from the “Mutton dressed as Lamb boutique” in two sizes to small for her. Shows both her tits and legs at the same time and her skirts are five time shorter then they should be. If the pole cat does not find her prey before lights on at a pub or nightclub she will wait in dark car parks. She looks for the guys that clearly have on their wobbly boots and find it hard to put key into Keyhole of car. This does not worry her as she knows she can guide any dick into any hole, she has a pH d in Dick Navigation. When this creature mates she tries not to get on top, the site of her bouncing up and down on a young cock can cause it to deflate. She sometimes forgets herself and smothers her prey with her tits and she now has the ambulance on speed dial. Ambulance divers vie for the call as it makes their shift a whole lot more interesting. Eats her pray so well she can bring him to his knees as he cries ohhhhh holly fuck, as she usually has no teeth. Can suck cock and balls in one go. Pays for drinks from unsuspecting pole cat bait. Ties them to the bed by the wrists so they have no chance to chew their arm off an escape the Pole Cat Lair. Usually victims of The Pole cat oral manipulation want to go back for more, despite the inner voice telling them not to go their again. The sensation is so strong it makes a guy feel his arse will be sucked right out of his urethra. Pole cats also like to hunt in packs and do tag team extremely well .Tender meat who have been caught in the dual pole cat tangle , feel like they have been through a wringer and spat out drained. Though busting to tell their mates keep it to themselves as their mates will exclaim for all to hear “ No way you did that, you sick fucker!” yet secretly hold the pole cats number in their mobile , under Bermuda triangle as they feel that’s where there balls went after the last blow job. Warning, young bait trying to leave before the pole cat has had her fill may get their arse chewed off.

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RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'slippery_halo' Unless "cheeting" was an intentional play on words with "cheetah"? If not, Nept, say it was. I'm saddened it was ever in doubt!I am however loving this outpouring of knowledge, and while it did occur to me that several of our finer vintage felids may have already given away firstborn naming rights, I was intending more "firstborn from the pairing." Of course if that's unfeasible and/or undesirable, please a) use protection, b) proceed to nearest naming opportunity, or just hilariously and inexplicably submit the paperwork to have their name legally changed. My dear Hesione, few things would please me more than to have a chicken named after me.My life's ambition is to make this list, probably for some fatal necrotising bacteria or something. To paraphrase Machiavelli, if you can't be loved, be a deadly airborne pathogen. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_organisms_named_after_famous_people

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RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'jensman1903' You'd make a good teacher, I expect. The 'Panther' on my right shoulder was chosen for several reasons. Firstly, I needed something to balance the Cobra on my left shoulder. I selected the Panther partly because one of our cars is a classic Jaguar and also because it fitted in with my Martial Arts background (from years gone by, I'm afraid) And now I kind of want to see them fight.

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RHP User

12 years ago

Surely the cougars of red hot pie would be way past having their firstborn? That's the last thing I would be looking for.

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belladonna888

12 years ago

28 and his funny he may still go far lol

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RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'neptune_drift' And now I kind of want to see them fight. That put an end to the martial arts (I was a Tae Kwon Do instructor) however, if you were to stand that malignant, little Western Australian turd, who upset Krissy in front of me, we could see what I could muster.

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RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'jensman1903' Quoting 'neptune_drift' And now I kind of want to see them fight. That put an end to the martial arts (I was a Tae Kwon Do instructor) however, if you were to stand that malignant, little Western Australian turd, who upset Krissy in front of me, we could see what I could muster. three back ops over the last three years,and spinal fusion...I hear ya honey and we do have some very big west australian Turds over here...cause everything is bigger in da west :) but lucky there are a ton of very very nice guys over here. Krissy can pick em like daisys in a field but now and again every women finds a weed.

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Cheeting Cougars

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