M57
Chivalry
November 02 2016
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
2 different things. Aren't we all capable of looking after ourselves? And sometimes it's fortuitous to hold the door open for someone or few, that's manners. Thank you. :-) Chivalry. Don't open the car door or pull the chair out for me though, that's going to get awkward because I'm not used to it. ;-) Consideration is always appreciated here. A smile and a wave as we go on having given each other a pleasurable moment to go on with is worth it to me. That reminds me of a moment on a travelator where we had pulled the trolley over to the side as we got on so people could pass if they wanted to and we ended up in a convo with the person behind us and the person behind them too. Still makes me smile to remember. It's a confusing world at times, I'll be interested to see what other responses you get. Peachy
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RHP User
8 years ago
A guy opens doors for me, holds an umbrella for me....I appreciate it. It shows he was brought up to respect women and has a caring side. Yes I can do these things for myself but its very endearing to be treated nicely. In todays world where we come across disrespectful people more and more, I think its a good thing. But thats me. My guy treats me like his lady and I love it.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I don't see it as me being unable to open my own door I see it as a sign of respect and aways say thankyou. I've also held doors open for men. I also like help when buying multiple heavy/bulky items just so I don't have to make multiple trips to the car. (my experiece earlier this week) If you're not used to it I understand but people who find it offensive puzzle me.
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RHP User
8 years ago
It says more about her than you...... Clearly there have been men in her past that have done that exact same thing, but with an expectation of appreciation.....whatever that may have been. Or..... She's a mere feminazi which is NOT a feminist btw. They're more of a Hitlers woman army hell bent on being a victim in every situation they're placed in.....so when she gave you that whole woman of the world speech, I'd have replied "I know that you're not useless, I just wanted to check out your arse, as you walked passed me, but I think it just spoke to me :). Have a nice day" - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
8 years ago
We enjoy it and it's something we practice. It's about respect & manners, in our opinion. We don't expect or demand it. It is however nice when it happens. There are never any expectations nor demands to show appreciation. We don't feel that it is condescending to women or that it makes them feel less powerful / less of a person. It's just a nice thing to do and to also be on the receiving end of. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
If you look at the definition of chivalry: courteous behaviour, especially that of a man towards women. synonyms:gallantry, gentlemanliness, thoughtfulness, attentiveness, consideration, considerateness, courtesy, courteousness, politeness, graciousness, mannerliness, good manners, urbanity, courtliness "small but pleasing acts of chivalry that seemed to come so naturally to him" I agree with Stirry - opening or holding a door for someone should always be responded to with a thanks or a kind smile. I hold doors open for people all the time. I'm not being chivalrous in the correct term, it's just manners. I love chivalry if it's a natural part of a mans way of the world. Or if he just wants to make me feel special because he thinks I'm special. I swoon over gentleman! If it's clear it's not something he's comfortable with and the only reason he's performing said acts/putting on a show is to try and get in my pants - then that's being a player, not considerate. And I'm a feminist which has nothing to do with chivalry. If anyone - male of female takes the time to make my moments more comfortable, easier or pleasant I can only be appreciative.
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Eiliethiya
8 years ago
And it's rare so that it surprises me when it happens. But I'm not offended or feel demeaned or insulted. And I always say thanks/show appreciation. And like Soft...I hold doors for people. I wave thanks to other's in traffic that let me in, etc - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
8 years ago
Chivalry..... is merely a word to describe a display of Empathy..... from man, to women. Manipulation, is a word to describe a display of empathy... from man to woman where the man is seeking something favourable from her. (and yes, it goes in both gender directions) We area all guilty of it from time to time.But the world would be a better place if we did more of the genuine empathy, and less of the goal seeking type. DG
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Tall74nHard9
8 years ago
there really that much of a difference between the two ?Just had a quick check on a definition of chivalry, and amongst the many descriptors that came up, the one that I think best suited the overall context, was being "polite and respectful". Chivalry, or manners ? In any case, both are a simple and natural way of life for myself, and it is generally appreciated with a smile, or some other from of compliment. I do it automatically - there is no fishing for 'reward', the reward is in the act itself for me. Tall
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RHP User
8 years ago
I love it and think its a shame some women must be so rude when men do nice things for them
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sweetgem
8 years ago
I don't find it offensive or outdated at all if a man, whom I'm meeting for a drink or meal, or being seeing/dating, wants to: - open the door and let me enter before him; or - pay for the drink or meal In fact, I find it attractive and respectful for such behaviour, as his action shows that he is a man with demeanour and kindness. That is good manners in my book. Chivalry to me is like what you have mentioned Somuchfunforus, that is, open a car door, or walk closer to the road, or holding an umbrella, etc. I would still be appreciated if a man did that for me, but I would politely ask him not to do so again at an appropriate time later on, with reasoning, so that he would understand and know that it was unnecessary. It's all about communicating properly I suppose and communication is a mean of respect in certain circumstances. - Posted from rhpmobile
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ReyandJean
8 years ago
When you're the host it's reasonable to get your guest seated, let them first up the stairs and lead them down the stairs, etc. Man on man, woman on woman or mixed should not make a difference.If someone takes umbrage (word of the day), it says more about their own insecurities and misunderstanding of politeness.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yes I love a man who opens a door for me who is curteous and offers to pay for a drink. But I will always offer to split the bill of a meal. It makes me feel very feminine and sexy. I think its a big "shame on you" to the women who see it as a dominance thing . I feel sorry for guys they dont know what to do anymore. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Chillymofo
8 years ago
i really don't care what people think - i was raised by great parents, and will always do these thingsIf you have an issue with me opening a door for you or the like then thats your issue, not mine.I open doors, i always walk on the street side, and i will always look after my QueenIt's not chivalrous, just courtesy and mannersBut hey , thats just my take!
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RHP User
8 years ago
holding the umbrella is generally more practical, umbrella frames bumping your head isn't comfy.
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Sawadee
8 years ago
Chilvary is something I rarely think about but often act on. This is because it's the way we were bought up and nothing else. I say we because most guys around the same age are exactly the same. In the past 2 weeks I've had the pleasure to help out 2 elderly and 1 younger lady struggling with her baby and pram. Unlike some , I never think of doing these things for personal gain.. You are either that way inclined or not. To this day , to open a door or offer a seat to the lady is normal.and I still don't mind paying . If a reward is forthcoming , it's because that's the way it turned out , not because it's expected. Only the wolves in sheeps clothing think that way.. No wonder they're so stuffed up these days..
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RHP User
8 years ago
I see being a gentleman not as a choice but as away of life. I've found it an unusual lady to not enjoy being treated as such. Flowers are for gf, but anice meal, a bottle of good wine and some thing nice is fine for a fwb. In saying this, it's not about the gifts, or the way you talk, the preening of the door. I think it's am in the sincerity of it all. I beg to hear different, but I think a girl can tell when something is being 'put on' v the real honest thing. I'm proud, I'm proud of being a man, but I'm more proud of being the man who is respected by his fellow woman . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I hold doors open, press the door open burrin on my the lift if I see someone rushing, I have even paid for the short fall in groceries for the person in front of me, I don't mind paying for my own drinks or meal, and will always be thankful and grateful to someone who pays for mine, without thinking that they expect something in return. I love chivalry, sorry to say in away, but at the end of the day it goes both ways and is a sign of manners!
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RHP User
8 years ago
...it's the whole makes-me-feel-good thing. Like smiling at strangers and doing charitable deeds...which it is one of.Doing something nice or decent for someone, when I didn't have to...which is the key here...makes me feel good. Is that selfish? Maybe, but does it matter? Of course, each situation should be looked at individually. But, looking for negative flaws in a person for performing an act of kindness is really what people should be wary of becoming.
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RHP User
8 years ago
But I am owed care and courtesy as a person. Gender will never define my actions towards other people, doing the right thing by people is my prime motivation, even if that at times is never reciprocated by others :) By definition alone chivalry and manners are different and I'd prefer good manners over chivalry any day! That being said, I say thank you to anyone who opens a door for me or provides any support to me :) I have students, boys and girls, who see me carrying things to class and both genders ask if I need help :) I love that there are still people instilling in their children good manners and how to be considerate people :) Mary xx
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RHP User
8 years ago
If chivalry is dead, it's because of automatic doors...... And porn
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' It says more about her than you...... Clearly there have been men in her past that have done that exact same thing, but with an expectation of appreciation.....whatever that may have been. Or..... She's a mere feminazi which is NOT a feminist btw. They're more of a Hitlers woman army hell bent on being a victim in every situation they're placed in.....so when she gave you that whole woman of the world speech, I'd have replied "I know that you're not useless, I just wanted to check out your arse, as you walked passed me, but I think it just spoke to me :). Have a nice day" - Posted from rhpmobile another gem from 'The Devil's Dictionary' (Ambrose Bierce)... "Valor, n. A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope. 'Why have you halted?' roared the commander of a division at Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge; 'move forward, sir, at once.' 'General,' said the commander of the delinquent brigade, 'I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.' "
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TakingMyTime
8 years ago
Oh haha I don't have mind what it is called but I love it when a man offers to open the door or extends a hand to help me out of the car just love it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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