F46
Completely confused.....Please guys tell me what you would want ur woman to do!!
May 11 2008
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
Not quite sure what to say here.....maybe show him this post as a starter...well selected part anyway.... but i think in all honesty you simply have to think about exactly what you want and go get it... be brave..... worse case scenario it goes where you feel it is heading anyway.... best case...you suddenly get awesome sex!!!! not sure if it is much help but best of luck hun.. lava xxx
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Reck1
17 years ago
you got to give as good as you get
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hi, I agree with Lavagirl and that ultimately you have to be at peace with your decision. I also think you do need to make a decision, to continue as is will only lead to the death of the relationship by a thousand cuts or the casual air of indifference. I am sure you both deserve more. To just let the relationship wither is not really living. If you have trouble being upfront in person, you should show him what you have written here or in a journal, that will help you explain your feelings to him. It can be incredibly difficult being 'upfront' for shy ppl. But both of you do deserve to love and feel loved. Maybe you are simply not talking the same Language of Love (refer book "The Five Love Languages") and need to work together on this - for a relationship is a journey together - Something which I have forgetten to do (having been divorced) and learning from. In many ways whatever has happened is neither good or bad it is simply in the past and cannot be changed. It is the choices you make to move forward on your journey that will determine (what is good or bad).
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RHP User
17 years ago
Girl, you want it ALL and you just can't have it. Choose wisely. A man who treats you and your child well and gets on with your family and friends OR a really great orgasm. I know which one I would choose. Kiss
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RHP User
17 years ago
hi blue i think uve made it to easy for him and more to the point and i hope this doesnt upset you HES JUST NOT REALLY INTO YOU move on you deserve better regards michael xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
send him a card with a box of chockies saying "please make me come tonight".. i've onften wonderd how long sex should take. and how hard it should be for your parnter to cum. some women can beat you every time, ieven if you are in a rush. others take a great effort. maybe it's just the chemisty is not there.. i had a partner many years ago that liked 20 minutes or nothing. i remember i'd make sure i could see the bedside clock so i did not loose track of time. for me it was hard work and unrewarding (mostly). i'd cum, but i would not call it an orgasm. lasting longer than is naural for you really can make sex a chore. LRE
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RHP User
17 years ago
your fukin him senseless- and makin too many demands on him----he seems perfect in every other way---maybe its time u got yaself either some toys or another bit on the side:)
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RHP User
17 years ago
Well if its not a serious thing u have goin then mayb it wld b worth moving on, there is so many guys out there!!! I experienced the younger guys a bit when i initially seperated and to b honest with u, some can b very selfish...just wanna get their dick wet and thats it... But if u feel what u have is worth hanging onto, then talk to him....things wont change unless u do...hes not a mind reader!!! Some young guys just need a little guidance... If u dont talk to him, ul never b fully satisfied and prob feel like u r puttin out purely for his sake and not enjoy the experience urself. Anyway thats me talkin from experience...and the way i c it, u have two choices...talk to him or put up with it. Good luck xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hey Sugar It's supposed to be fun exploring a new lover Hunny....you don't have to go to either extreme. Challenge yourself to overcome your shyness and you may just get that mind-blowing orgasm with him. Start with an erotic e-mail, phone sex or a porn movie that explicitly shows how you like foreplay.....laugh a little about it too. No one is a sex god even tho we like to think we are....lol... Wishn you lukk xx SnS
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RHP User
17 years ago
"be blunt and explain what i want him to do and to be completely honest Im just not that forward" Isn't that your answer right there? You say he's younger than you, so let's say he's mid 20s. Guys that age have NO BRAIN and are pretty self absorbed, if you haven't told him otherwise then maybe he thinks he's doing everything right! After all you keep inviting him over so he's getting a lot of positive reinforcement. So you just have to ask tell him what you want. And you don't have to ask in an accusatory manner - "how come you never go down on me?" - just in case he really is clueless. "Ooh baby go down on me, I love it when you do that, it makes me cum sooo hard" or something obvious like that will get his attention focused in the right direction without bruising any egos. And if *that* doesn't work, are you so hung up about about not discussing your sexual needs that you'd rather pass over a guy that by your own admission is otherwise pretty darn good than talk to him about it? Who knows, you both might benefit from it - he learns to spend more time pleasing you, you learn the confidence to tell guys how you want to be pleased.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Life is like the deli section @ woolies.. You have to explain very slowly & clearly ... and sometimes even have to point to get exacty what you want anyway...... back to the cold aisle cheers Pete
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RHP User
17 years ago
I don't think there is any real "easy" option here, and if there was i guess the question you have to ask yourself is....is this guy really into me and is he worth going the extra mile for? If your considering giving him the flick because he doesn't bring you to orgasm then the answer may well lie there, surely there is more to a relationship than getting off! From the outside looking in I can see a few issues that may be affecting your relationship, maybe he is over the "initial lust" period, is he now being cramped by staying over 4-5 nights a week and now feeling embedded in your life, he may well know that he is not pleasuring you and this may be putting pressure on him. What does need to happen though is communication! Your man may well be as frustrated as you! If you want for him to give you the pleasure your looking for you really need to tell him how you like it, it doesn't have to be in a confronting way that is going to make you both feel uncomfortable it could be as easy as saying to him while he's going down on you......oooh that's really great i luv, give it to me like......... Anyway know one can give you the magic answer simply because there isn't one, you probably already know what has to be done.....don't leave it until things are really fucked, jump on top of your issues now. happy days DJ
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RHP User
17 years ago
I dont want ppl to think this is soley about an orgasm. It was the figuritive straw and being under the influence of a couple of substances and i just sat down and started typing without really thinking too hard...whatever came to mind came out... I am embarassed.. That being said, im suprised by some of the replies, some great ideas and some great advice. When we started it was relatively spontaneous sex with someone (ok being REALLY honest here) with someone I considered "hot" the type of guy i wouldnt have ever seen being into me. We were doing it at random locations and having some conversation just not anyting in depth.Im not sure exactly how long we were meeting like that for but long enough that i couldnt see too much harm in bringing him home. It started slow then he was visiting more and more often, getting along well, heaps in common and was easy. I made the mistake of being too easy going, and i know the majority of this is my own doing and its not just something i have done with him, i have done it with most ppl....i am giving, kind, understanding and generous to a fault and it always ends up with me crying wondering why it keeps happening. I give an inch and some ppl take a metre and ive had some that have taken a whole kilometre! I dont know how to say no and i know that its my problem. I just wish that ppl could see they were getting a sweet deal with me and not pushin to see just how much i will give. The reason i tell u all this is that theres more to my initail post than i put in otherwise it would be a novel! But nevertheless my guy is taking liberties now and just expecting things to be a certain way and im a quickly feeling like i am becoming a convenience now that the honeymoon period is ova. If he appreciated the things i do and the things i give i wouldnt have a problem, I enjoy spoiling,pampering ppl but have just felt really let down when it doesnt appear he is at all making as much effort to please me as I am him (thats sex, and everything ive said) so thats why i feel the way i do.... Someone said better to have a guy that i really am wildly attracted to that fits into my life like he has always been there. There are alot of positives. Some days the negatives outweight the positives other days the positives win out....All in all tho i would have to say his age is a real factor, he doesnt know better, he doesnt realise that the more you give the more you get in everysense, not just sex but in the way you treat someone. I would like to be treated with the same kindness and consideration as anyone but its not somethin i will ask for, if he hasnt thought to do it himself and i point it out, it will become a chore and i dont want that either. I dont think he knows how to make a woman feel special and if he does think i am special then he just isnt treating me that way.... and if he doesnt see me as special and doesnt treat me as special then yeah, maybe he's just not that into me.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Hi Blue, Your feeding and housing this guy and he sucks at foreplay. Hmm!!! If your really keen on this guy and you can honestly say to yourself i like everything about him. Then its worth communicating with him. If theres a BUT in there, well then you have to ask yourself can i get better. Of course you can, why rush, your young too. Go for Gold, dont settle for silver!!!!! Communication is the key. If you cant tell your partner everything or anything, you got nothing. Its the only way to know each others likes, dislikes. It sometimes takes awhile to, to discover alot of things about each other. Geez, were still learning ourselves alot of stuff and we explore alot of things together. To be honest, we have nights too when sometimes 1 of us doesnt orgasm. Its not the end of the world. Atleast we can be honest and open with each other and thats the most important part of any relationship we think. He gets on well with your mum, lol. Nice move on his part. I hope hes paying his way then. Im sure your feeding him as well. You seem to be able to confide in us. Im sure you should have no trouble telling him what it is you need. As you seem to be doing everything for him. Should i send Grav around to show him how its done?? He got me to put that in ,lol. Leelee xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
Welcome to the down side of the older/younger relationship. Honey you just have to take your young man in hand and train him up. His future lovers will thank you. Write him a nice erotic note explaining what he can do to make you happy in bed. Use your words! If you can't use your words just point.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Most guys want to be good in bed, id say all you need to do is tell him what you want, but maybe just one thing at a time. If he specifically says no to doing something then you've got a problem and you're gonna have to say something to him
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RHP User
17 years ago
im sorry but i have to disagree with what kiss said in an earlier post, of course you can have a great guy whos into ur family n friends n gets along with everyone AND have a great orgasm as well, you just have to communicate with him sugar, and if he should take offence to you telling him how you like it , then maybe hez not the right guy for you afterall
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RHP User
17 years ago
This is easy you introduced him to your friends and he has fallen for your best mate so now wants out with you. So if he gives you shit sex youll dump him. Its always your best mate your gotta watch out for. OK that was a bit of tongue in cheek But there is to many free men on here to worry about just one. Keep looking sugar. where the hell is my spell checker!!!!!! P.S let me know if he goes off with your best mate.
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RHP User
17 years ago
You say you dont consider yourself a couple..just friends with benefits right? So why is he involved in your life? He knows your child, sleeps there 4-5 nights a week...gets on well with your mum and your friends. I thought friends with benefits was none of the above..just meet for mutual fun and satisfaction, then go back to your own home/life. If you want/feel more.....back off and explain why. See what his reaction is...then you will know whether to invest your time/feelings or not. If you decide to become more, then invest your time and energy in changing him from a dud to a stud...You look like a fun girl..I am sure you could teach him lol Good luck x
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RHP User
17 years ago
well sugar nice guy or not if i performed like him id be out the fukin door.There would be plenty of guys out there that are all good and can fuck too.Sounds to me he just doesnt want to be taught the right way.Fortunatly for us guys althought women are different they mostly like the same stuff.So its not hard to learn the basics thank christ.If ya cant train the dog put him down and get a new one.Bit harsh maybee i dont know, all i do know is.sounds like a dud to me .I think my mrs would rather me give her the big o than doin the dishes .
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RHP User
17 years ago
I dont know babe can I have an orgasm and then you do the dishes? Mrs xxx
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RHP User
17 years ago
now i'm no relationship mastermind, but here go's, if i am right u both are young, not being rude. when i was young i slept with much older women, they made sure i new what they wanted, maybe not straight up but they didn't mess about. simple fact is i benifted 2, i will let u in on what once happened to me? 1 was about 18 and the lady maybe around 31, 1 night whilst watching a movie she started to nibble my ear and use her tongue very well around that area, she then played with my nipple, i became stiff and then she tied my hands behind my back. told me to neel on the floor and then blind folded me, she then asked me to feel her body still whilst neeling (sry bad spelling), after a while i felt her pussy on my face, i licked her thighs in no time and she moved herself really and i just supplied the tongue, then of course after a while i hand such a firm hold on my head from her and the shudder she gave off was so fucking great i felt a milloin dollars. i learnt in a nice playfull way the enjoyment in the experience of making (in this case helping) a lady come. + sex after is great to as i find women very ready for sex soon after, i dont believe that either of you want poor sex, he maybe thinks it great as he blows, but babe show him if you like him, you hv nothing at all to loss u both have everything to gain. go on u deserve it, u to will get over the shy ness and well, most man babe love oral and foreplay, however u dont find it over night and we start reading porn mags etc, now thats not a good start is it, show him and urself. all the best babe - ur do fine i am sure.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Thanks for that, its actually a great idea and think i will do it this weekend. It has gotten heaps better but still not getting the point accross as to what i want, i mean it aint rocket surgery (lol) im all about the clit, its the only way i orgasm but i dont think he realises this, he gives it a rub then gives up i dont think he realises it takes time for a woman to build up. I Got nothin to lose, will let u know how it goes!
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RHP User
16 years ago
You gotta tell him. You can't go on missing out. Personally, I prefer to take care of the woman's needs first (getting her to cum - even more than once) because being a guy you have to say it's pretty easy to get us to ;)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Maybe you should convince him that your clit is a third nipple and that he should gently suckle on it often, and on all amorous occasions ;)
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi Sugar Interesting thread. Personally I think some guys just aren't that into the woman's pleasure, maybe because they're selfish or maybe because they don't know any better. You definitely need to educate him, or at least try, and then find out one way or another whether he's not into it or he just doesn't know. There are some GREAT posts in here somewhere about giving girls oral ... one guy wrote forever and most of the girls cum just reading it lol. I printed it out for my husband ;) There are books by David Deida (I know, I'm always on about him) - check out It's a Guy Thing and Way of the Superior Man - very very informative re sexual attraction and who needs what etc. Also, maybe find some vids on redtube and share them with him, some good 'intructive' vids on there that are also good for spicing things up through watching, discussing, practising etc ;) I found one where a woman was fingering and giving oral to another woman and giving instructions ... was pretty good. Wish u all the best!
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