M55 F41
Condom or no Condom
October 15 2012
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
A condom is always the safer bet. People say it ruins the romance but then we're not really here for that are we?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Doesn't really address the issue of oral infections though, but you can only be so safe.
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xFunlovingx
12 years ago
That is all I have to say...Wow! Walks away shaking head! xFunlovingx
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werdvus
12 years ago
well as regular players , one would love to think that treat others and have respect for others as how you want to be treated , We found our selves asking the same question we we first started swinging , Scared Shitless we where !!! - Now that we have cum to know the scene , pardon the pun - we are very select to whom we romp free style with , as in the swinging scene , first appearances are everything , Hate to judge a book bi its cover but it really dose have some weight behind it - (Selection process ) we now over the past 7 x years have got to read newbie s and new cummers well , we would like to think in our own little fantasy world , ha ha ,,,,,,, and the select couples that we enjoy sex with most often , have also that respect for others safety and rights and importantly HEALTH ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Bottom line ,,,,,,geez there is a lot of sexual conatations in here,,,,,, Its a personal comfort thing , and a REALLY hard one !!!!!!!!! ,,,,,,,Such a juvenile ,,,, jesus ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,No Seriously Floks , very difficult line in the sand to draw , we are just lucky to be very comfortable with the crew that we play with , and know that we all have regular Full spectrum health and blood work done and vigilantly get medicals done with full write up reports ,The Loving Little Fuckers that we are , Mawa xox Never take offence at others personal choice , glove up -or Freestyle ? talk about it allways -never be afraid of what other may think and put yourself in a predicament of dought
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Two_Tarts
12 years ago
There will be others who will be better at explaining the risks, but most common (although plainly imperfect) practice seems to be no protection for oral and condoms for intercourse. There are plainly inherent risks from unprotected oral and so we are always very careful of our own oral hygiene and the condition of our gums to make sure that we at least do not invite trouble from those risks. Nothing quite like bleeding gums, a bit of periodontal disease or a mouth ulcer to invite an unwelcome infection. For the same reason we are very aware of the oral hygiene of potential partners as that affects their risk status from prior encounters. If it becomes obvious that people don't have good teeth in terms of dental care and hygiene then we would generally not get involved with them as poor oral hygiene puts them straight into a much higher risk group from oral (on top of the likely bad breath, eewwww!). Anything that involves the possibility of chafing, tearing, bleeding, or open sores should be avoided and protection definitely used. We think that unless you have some basis to know each others health status at that point in time with absolute certainty then condoms for intercourse should not be negotiable as the potential of chafing or tearing is unavoidable. It is easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, but anyone who makes a big deal of not wanting to use a condom to have sex with you probably doesn't use condoms with their other partners either. So regardless of how lovely or well meaning they might be they are probably the people that you should either avoid or take extra precautions with rather than less.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Whilst this may seem like a stupid question, we have been to many parties so far- we have only seen one condom in use - which eventually broke regardless! Whether or not we believe we should or should not wear a condom, it is interesting to get other people's opinions on the topic. We look forward to some other open minded comments, thanks Ms PeachyPear!
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
I always wear protection out of respect for the couple I am playing with, but sometimes the male of the couple does not with his lady and that often annoys me as it is like they don't care about my safety only their own. ET xox
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RHP User
12 years ago
We feel it's not about wether you think someone is hygienic or not. It's out of respect for future 'friends' that we take a responsible consideration towards them and us. Condoms are just an unfortunate fact of life with this type of life style. So we just make it not so obvious, or simply putting one on as much fun as possible. A nessasary evil you could say. Even if we play with a single guy, I tend to wear one to just to make the other guy feel more comfortable and not discriminated. Perhaps it's double standards , but oral sex we haven't though much of wearing one.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' That is all I have to say...Wow! Walks away shaking head! xFunlovingx Im sorry OP but I just cant believe you even need to ask this ...and Im finding it hard to believe that the parties you state you have attended that you have seen condoms used only once...if this is the case...then there is no hope for the human race... I appreciate that you may be new to the forums but this subject has been discussed many times - may be a good idea to check the previous threads ( it was only discussed again about 2 weeks ago ) ...and your following comment Whether or not we believe we should or should not wear a condom, etc Probably just lost you a whole heap of potential new playmates - most of us value our sexual health - there is not many things we control in this world, but we have a pretty good handle on this one... Its about valueing oneself but more importantly respecting others.....and trust me, if you ever get a STD or your partner does..... ...oh that will so change your thinking on the subject Good luck
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RHP User
12 years ago
I came across some fascinating figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, via a link from an article in the mainstream media. Google "Australian Bureau of Statistics Sexually transmissible infections" It's very interesting. If you are over 40s, and not Aboriginal, have a regular female partner (ie. share her risks, and vs. versa), and neglecting everything else except Chlamydia (which has 7 times the rate of the next most prevalent notifiable STI), the notified incidence is about 10% less (due to excluding Aboriginals) than about 100 per 100,000 per annum. That's about 0.09% per annum. Applying generalised facts to personal decisions in particular circumstances is maddeningly difficult, but some hard facts are better than none. Check out the site for a wealth of details and advice. Notice the government is focused on "education and prevention programs targeted towards people aged 15 to 29 years, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and men who have sex with men." Regarding non-notifiable STIs, the statistics indicate 1 in 6 women and 1 in 12 men carry the HSV2 virus which causes genital herpes. It remains in the body for life, may have no symptoms until periodic outbreaks (average frequency and duration is undefined) when the virus is active and people are considered contagious. Transmission can also occur without any signs of an outbreak (the likelihood of this is undefined). Condoms reduce transmission (by how much is undefined) but wont stop it. So, in general the potential transmission is a small proportion of 16% (due to only periodic outbreaks), reduced much further by using some sense and avoiding sex during an outbreak, reduced somewhat further if you use condoms. The problem with gaining practically usable hard advice from government and academics is that they are not really interested in low risk segments of the population (there’s no headlines or research money to be gained by “Risks are low, please relax”), generally apply the precautionary principal (as it cost them nothing to do so), and wish to avoid all liability. What decisions they make in their private life we’ll never know. In an attempt to gain information on the population segment of interest to me... “Caucasian, middle aged, middle class, long term married, straight in sexual orientation (ie. never had sex with a man), never used injectable drugs, have never worked in the sex industry, have never had any sexually transmissible disease (including warts or herpes)”... I made enquires of Associate Professor David Wilson of the Kirby Institute for infection and immunity in society, at the University of NSW, who are responsible for the “Annual Surveillance Report of HIV, viral hepatitis, STIs”.... without response. I have also made enquiry of Professor Victor Minichiello, University of New England, who co-authored “HIV, sexually transmitted infections, and sexuality in later life”, published in “Current Infectious Disease Reports”, 2011: 13:182–187.... with a response that I summarise as completely focussed on the increase in risk over recent years, and yet with no focus on the absolute level of risk.
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RHP User
12 years ago
WOW! It is so cool to see that our topic is creating so much interest, OH and judgement by some that are really in no position to judge anyone.This can only be described as interesting to say the least. I thought we prided ourselves on being an open minded group of people that could and would discuss ANYTHING. What i find even more amusing is that some who have seen this topic before on the forum, are offended by it and are obviously bored, still take the time to not only comment but pass judgement on others before knowing anything at all about them. QUOTE: Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones: and one can only assume that comments such as "trust me,if you ever get a STD or your partner does..... ...oh that will so change your thinking on the subject" come from personal experience. While we feel no need to defend ourselves it does appear that some of you need it explained a little clearer than others, so we will keep it super simple for you: while we have made absolutly no comment either way as to whether we do or dont use condoms, we felt it confronting and unnerving enough given what we had seen thus far to raise the issue in such a public forum so as to assertan the general view of the community that we now find ourselves playing in. Being big girls and boys who have made our own way in the world I'm quite sure we will have no problem in making up our own mind on where we stand on this matter, what was of more interest to us is where does the "general concenses' lie in this new community of ours. Given the uproar that this question has caused i think it is clear to say that either people in general bullshit themseleves or we have been to some very exceptional parties that are obviously not the norm. Either way your comments and input in this have been an eye opener and greatly appreciated
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Two_Tarts
12 years ago
We have been to parties and seen couples having unprotected sex but most commonly that has been with their own partners at the end of the night, which does not seem unreasonable. There was one occasion where Mrs was interested in a particular guy at a party right up until she noticed him having unprotected sex with a girl who he had plainly just met. After seeing that happen both he, and the girl, and their respective partners, were instantly off the menu regardless of their other merits because plainly they had all been made a party to blatant high risk behaviour whether it was their choice or not and there was no way to know if this was a one off mistake or a regular occurrence. We can't see why anyone would want to run the risk of sexual contact with someone who they knew was prepared to have random unprotected sex. It just seems to be asking for trouble and jeopardising everyone's safety. The trouble is that you might not always know who those people are and so for everyone's safety condoms really should be an essential in any party situation.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Condoms are a good thing we all know that, I'm not a party goer so can't comment on that but in the dating scene its a fools paradise, condoms and safe sex are extolled from all and sundry but it seems oral sex, bukkake and golden showers have exemptions ! Oral dams what are they ?Don't ask me to explain, the hypocrisy is breathtaking !
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RHP User
12 years ago
I find that being 'new' to the scene can be pretty intimidating, and asking a question like this is okay.I have lost myself for ages in previous forum posts, and have found some very valuable information in them.I also get worried about posting, because I don't want to get attacked for my personal opinion, or questions asked.There is so much information about that it can get confusing. I would be very interested to hear stories from people who have been in the scene for a while, and the stigma or consensus with condoms. Personally, I've not used them for oral, and my husband and I don't have intercourse with others, however there is that oral hygiene factor to take into account...x
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RHP User
12 years ago
We suggest you get to a govt ran sex / STD clinic, Its fun they are great to chat to. You will find a variety of ways to make yourself safe.....condoms arent even protecting you from half the STD out there.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Does one like getting showered with a raicoat on, not really By the time you have had 20 partners or so with someone else the same , chances are you carry some infection, but as long as its not presend go for it without a party hat.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' That is all I have to say...Wow! Walks away shaking head! xFunlovingx Perhaps Felix Baumgartner's next record will be set jumping off your attitude.
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RHP User
12 years ago
No OP..Im just a doctor (pathologist) ....and have seen many a person devastated by STD..in a professional capacity..so perhaps best if you assume nothing about me..... and just because we are "" like minded people"" on a sex site does not mean theat the majority (not all) will frown upon unsafe sex practices... and one page of "posting"" is not considered a uproar (you want uproar check out the open relationship thread) -the topic has been done to death - and only again recently ( I think two weeks ago) - so perhaps research the previous forums before posting....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'cupcakefortwo'I find that being 'new' to the scene can be pretty intimidating, and asking a question like this is okay.I have lost myself for ages in previous forum posts, and have found some very valuable information in them.I also get worried about posting, because I don't want to get attacked for my personal opinion, or questions asked.There is so much information about that it can get confusing. I would be very interested to hear stories from people who have been in the scene for a while, and the stigma or consensus with condoms. Personally, I've not used them for oral, and my husband and I don't have intercourse with others, however there is that oral hygiene factor to take into account...x Im not sure if Mrs or Mr Cupcake is posting (or both) , but Ive been following your posts...well constructed, balanced, thoughtful and articulate views Yes it can be tough in here, especially if its a emotive post/forum - like the current Open relationship/ marriage thread that is happening at the mo but then by nature people are emotive and naturally come from their own perspectives/experiences .. ...dont be scared to post..just be true to yourself.. but yes us ones that have been around for a long time are probably somewhat jaded ..god knows I am Welcome to the Sand Pit :) ..but at times, yes you may get sand in your eye...
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Splicey
12 years ago
I feel like I'm back in grade 8.How is this even a question? How could you not protect yourself and your partner? How could you not respect yourself enough to be responsible?
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RHP User
12 years ago
This book is incredible, if you are a newbie you should definitely grab a copy, it comes from a very sound POV and offers great advice on all of these concerns and encourages readers to decide for themselves.BB
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's your choice how you wish to play with others, but there's a high risk of catching something if you play Russian Roulette in this lifestyle. "No glove, no love" is our motto, as we're not out to make friends with the Grim Reaper.
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RHP User
12 years ago
When you were single and playing the field did you glove up or not?? If you answered you gloved up then why should it be any different to now?? Stds and sti's don't affect only single people. So explain again why it is you need to ask should you or should you not wear a condom??
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RHP User
12 years ago
Do a search on RHP for what you are looking for: Except do one search with condoms "allways" and record the matches. Then do another search "if required" or "never" etc. and record the results. Then from the results you will find the views on this thread do not match reality.
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jezebel_jj
12 years ago
Havent really bothered reading every response as it can be a bit tedious on the good ol' Iphone. In our opinion playing (regularly) with another couple (like we are doing at the moment), people you have actually gotten very well acquainted with and that all people concerned take all necessary steps for safe sexual health. We believe the condom is completely optional. However at a party with people you may or may not know. It goes without saying that the transmission of bodily fluids should be contained. All it takes is one over eager individual (carrying whatever) to do the "rounds" and suddenly he/she has put a number of people at risk. For us this happened quite recently (at a party) with the male (of the couple) deciding that he wasn't going to wear anything and basically stick his dick in every woman he could get his hands on. His carefree attitude and over-eagerness prompted a rather hasty exit on our behalf. We are personally glad we will never be seeing these people again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
"Doctor, I think my maid might have gonorrhea." "That's not a problem." The Doctor says. "Bring her in. If she's got it, I can clear it up." "Umm well, Doctor, I'm pretty sure my son's been doing the maid." "Well, bring them both in. I can look after them both." The man continued, "...Well, I've been doing her too." "Hmmm, I see,..." The Doctor uttered. "...And I would have given it to my wife as well." The man finished. "Oh no!!!" The doctor exclaimed. "We've all got it then!!!"
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RHP User
12 years ago
There is no right or wrong answer to this. Before the game starts the players should assess the pitch. If it's an away fixture at a newly promoted team that has not been scouted previously, the players should always wear shin pads. If it's a friendly kickabout with a familiar team then there is no real need to put the shinpads in. On some pitches moulded studs are better and on others screw ins are more suitable (no pun intended). You can tear a ligament or break a leg whether you wear shinpads or not, just as you can catch something whether or not you wear a condom.As long as your tactics are discussed beforehand and appropriate footwear agreed upon, all should have a thoroughly enjoyable game
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