F58
Constraint
July 31 2016
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm feeling really frustrated at the moment, because I work from home and usually host, but my work has taken over my home space and for every day that comes around, l have good intentions to put everything away and get ready to receive a visitor. However, it never seems to happen, because my work is my livelihood. How do I get guys to understand that if I take my finger off the pulse for a second, I lose money, or might not be able to pay the bills? I've just got back in contact with a fuck buddy and asked him if he wants to relive a fine memory and have sex in the car lol bit cold so I suggested we'd need a blanket, but music, bottle of red, the chemistry which I know is there, body heat, perfect. He is up for it and I'm happy about that. I just never have time to get organised here for sex, and it's driving me crazy. So that's a part of my life I need to get sorted, I just don't know how at this point. I do feel overwhelmed by it, the responsibility of having to support myself, and I feel very alone with it, but it is what it is and I have to try to get some structure into my life. Your question is a really interesting one. My situation is most definitely a constraint. Time will sort it out I'm sure, but time I need
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RHP User
8 years ago
With my life ATM..It would be nice to find a FWB but I suppose first you have to meet someone for that to happen 😝..a bit more money would also be good so I can travel a little more.. I have some mobility issues which I am working on..So really the main constraint is me. Life is short,don't waste it doing what doesn't make your heart happy,follow your bliss MsJonesy hugs Q
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Tall74nHard9
8 years ago
Was along the lines of the serenity prayer that Shells put down.There are some things we know that we can change, given the time to do so.Then there are other things we can't change, either in the moment, or perhaps longer term.So focus on what you can do, and don't sweat it for the things you know are not possible at the time.When something becomes important enough, you'll find the time. Tall
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have some constraints which I am unable to change. I simply have to work around them when I can and hope the other person is understanding. If they can't be understanding then there is little I can do about it.
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Limited_Editionx
8 years ago
Hi :) When I feel those precipices coming... I declutter my bedroom/wardrobe and rearrange my bedroom furniture- for some reason as I do this and by the time it is finished I seem to work through blocks in my brain and see things from a different perspective. XxMiss L. Ed
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Sawadee
8 years ago
I love the ' serenity prayer ' and have to remind myself every now then to take heed of the true meaning those few words . Besides that ' I sometimes get so bogged down with everything that's happening around me , I have to remind myself to step back and plan some me time.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Limited_Editionx' Hi :) When I feel those precipices coming... I declutter my bedroom/wardrobe and rearrange my bedroom furniture- for some reason as I do this and by the time it is finished I seem to work through blocks in my brain and see things from a different perspective. XxMiss L. Ed you can come and clean my house if it helps Just being helpful
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Sawadee
8 years ago
You're good like that... so thoughtful. lol
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have all constraints because I've spent my entire life thinking that if I always treated women with nothing but love and genuine respect, then maybe one day, I may actually be worthy of of not being treated like a loser and just ignored and basically made to feel invisible, ugly, worthless, like how the hell did I even get allowed on here. I've never been an option for any woman in my entire life, so I don't know why I thought just maybe I might get to at least chat with someone! But wrong again - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
HEy Ben, I hear a lot of anger in your response and in your profile too. Online dating is brutal and can really be damaging if are not in the right head space. Look after yourself and don't take the responses you get on here personally. Good luck Ben. '
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Understand your frustration. And perhaps that frustration has led you into a very negative state of mind. Its a vicous cycle. But your negativity is actually increasing your constraints. Your profile is full of negative energy. You need to step back and rethink some things and try a fresh approach because it wont work the way it is. People like a positjve affect in their lives. Rethink, reset and restart afresh. You can release those constraints but it starts with your mind and attitude. All the best Annie
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madotara69
8 years ago
I guess it seems we don't have much, nothing real valuable, no savings, we live from week to week, as soon as we get money it's gone, we don't have investment plans, no fancy car, the house we rent and it's decorated with crystals and stones and feng shui, silk scarves and chains and all sorts of nick knacks, Tara makes lots of little things out of all her little things But we are very happy and have most of what we need, what we do need we ask the universe and sure enough it somehow happens. We have spent.. over twenty five years investing in our friendship, children, we still make love now and then, but we love to fuck at least a few days a week, we have an ongoing journey with edging and it would have to be thousands of hours we don't have to go anywhere, except into euphoria and it costs nothing much, mostly just the hours intimate, foreplay, ok, some toys, oh and a machine or two and the swing, her leather collar and just a little essential oils for massage, grape seed oil we are a little careless but even a litre a week is a reasonable cost about $12. Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it' Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'jayme2' You're good like that... so thoughtful. lol yes I am always thinking of the needs of others same as if someone is stressed and finds pleasuring a woman helpful, I would of course offer my body I do what I can for our community
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RHP User
8 years ago
what is it with guys having a picture that looks like it's been taken in prison that would be a constraint I would imagine
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RHP User
8 years ago
You're hurt, I get that. Hearing ya, but you know every single person who has ever drawn breath, has been there. We have all been hurt, rejected, ignored, lead on, lied to, abused, let down, cheated on, promises broken etc. Words are cheap. Actions truly reveal. Its happen to all of us and will continue to be that way to the end of mankind because we live in the "Me" society However, it is our reaction to these actions that speaks volumes about the person we are. We chose to become the character by which people will remember us by. We control absolutely nothing in our lives, except our reactions to any given situation. How you handle yourself, whether you chose to accept anything with dignity and respect or choose to troll, is completely and utterly up to you. In the end, you get what you choose to settle for and if choose to have such a negative outlook on life (currently reflected very strongly in your profile) then you can expect nothing different to alter in your world OP For the last 38 years, I bought into the beautiful lie, that if I did the "right" thing then everything would be ok. In the last few days, my world has somewhat shifted on its axis and as a result my thinking has changed dramatically. All that I believe now is that you are totally completely true to yourself, without constraint. I do not mean that you venture forth into word, doing exactly what you please (because if we all did that I'm sure all our exes would be dead !) but in the absolute end, no one nor any given situation can truly constrain us Life is too fucking short, to mull this shit over . Take deep breathes when its all falling down around you, reach out to those who love and care for you and remember, everything is temporary and this too (the situation that is constraining you ) will pass. The only constraints we endure are the ones that we put upon ourselves
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Sawadee
8 years ago
Yes .. of course . participating in community services like that is a wonderful attribute..
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Chillymofo
8 years ago
Totally off topic - but Candy, Annie and Boo - you three beautiful souls made my day.Recognising someones hurt and taking the time to help.Ive been lurking on and off in these forums for many years, and its refreshing to see three ladies build someone up, rather than tear them downgood on you! For the record Ben, heed their words - I too sense a lot of negativity, and this will scare off anyone. A change of mindset will def improve results - good luck!
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RHP User
8 years ago
If and when I do find a girl younger than me that I'm attracted to I get on the message but you have to be careful with the younger ones as they tend to feel as though it's happening way to quick and don't go with it - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I commented on the wrong forum, my bad. Don't know how to delete sorry - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsJonesy
8 years ago
Don't stress, we have all done it at some point. 😊 Actually, your post does fit in with the topic anyhow; you are constrained by the younger women's reticence and reluctance to go at the pace you are comfortable with.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I feel for you. Truly.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Cengiz91' If and when I do find a girl younger than me that I'm attracted to I get on the message but you have to be careful with the younger ones as they tend to feel as though it's happening way to quick and don't go with it - Posted from rhpmobile I've just posted one comment in your other thread, and I'd like to reply to this. Can you post this again in that thread. I had trouble finding that thread but it's in 'Just sex' or whatever, so will probably get lost in the system now, once out of view of the main topics, but yeah, jump into that topic and I'll respond
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Betty7216' This is huge for me right now… Most of you will know that I’m married, and playing without permission… Long story short – we have moved a LOT… last place before Melbourne was a developing nation with serious security issues. Both of my boys (now 15 & 13) have had serious PTSD (me too), which has manifested as anxiety and depression (with one attempting suicide 18 months ago). It has taken a toll on my marriage, mostly due to my husband being completely emotionally unavailable during our time O/S and on our return (and, of course, I contributed to our issues - totally own my part in it).We did separate just over 2 years ago, for 6 months (which is when I first discovered RHP), and since reuniting, a lot of things are much better, and I was hoping that the intimacy would improve. I love my husband, and actually like him too, but I not only live without any sex, I also don’t have any intimacy… no snuggles in bed, no hand holding, no touching or kissing, except a basic 'hi' or 'bye' peck... I sometimes get a 'pat' so that I am not jealous of the dog - his words... It feels like I am dying slowly inside… hence me rejoining RHP a couple of months ago… Sorry, possibly TMI, but all background to where I am now… I was hoping that discretely sourcing intimacy elsewhere might be the answer - that I could keep my family together, and keep me. Nothing is ever that simple, as most of you will know… I have found gorgeous intimacy, with fabulous sex attached, but not only is that complicated, it has highlighted the shortfalls in my marriage, rather than supplementing what is missing… DUH! I am now trying to work out if I can find a balance between my own needs and the need to nurture/protect my family… I feel your pain, and I feel your needs, your desires. I was also without intimacy, and I don't just mean sex, but intimacy in between, it was devoid of, and I needed it. I felt like I was dying inside, I desperately needed to be desired. Eventually noticed guys looking at me and thought I'd take it out for a spin had no clue just how much fun was around the corner. I hope you can work it out. I couldn't, it became too painful, I needed to find it elsewhere. Don't worry, I got a kick start on that while I was married too and we won't tell, we're very discreet here. Aside from telling all on a public forum that is
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thank you all for your kind words! I'm sorry about my negative attitude. I know that it doesn't do me any good especially when trying to find a partner. After years of rejection and being told I'm not good enough for anyone, I get a buid up intense negative emotions which can take me to a very dark and lonely place in my mind. I know that I need to find different ways to vent and I am trying to do that. It helps when I get encouragement from lovely people on here who went out of their way to reach out to me and give me kind words of encouragement and advice. So I say from the bottom of my heart, thank you :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Grouse33
8 years ago
After all, I'm a straight white male and the (first) world is my oyster. The only real constraints, then, are a product of my own thoughts and behaviour. In order to be free of these obstacles I have to get over myself. Which is no mean feat. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Happened to me too..I have been happily single for years now..nothing so lonely as a marriage without intimacy ..I hope it all works out for you hugs Q
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