Contradiction.

Comments

• 

  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Sounds like they just don't want to play with you two anymore ,there is nothing wrong with that what so ever. So maybe you two need to move on and find others like they have . - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  9 years ago

  My guess is the couple only want to swing with others they have no emotional connection with.. Just pure fun sex. The husband might have started to develop feelings and a strong desire for your wife so they ended things before he became his desires for your wife became stronger than his desires for his own wife. They may have discussed this and agreed to keep thing more platonic from now on and only play with others in the bedroom with no outside mingling such as dinner and drinks first etc - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  9 years ago

  The wife in question is only happy for her husband to play with women whom she doesn't consider more interesting or attractive than herself. Maybe Mrs AC is younger/slimmer/sexier/more outgoing/more experienced/etc than Mrs Othercouple? Whatever her reason is, I guess it's for them to sort out between them. If it were me worrying about another woman with my partner I'd pull the breaks, though admitting I'm intimidated by another woman would maybe not be the easiest thing. My thoughts.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Lots of married people have a rule that they will only see someone a certain number of times before cutting all ties. This is their way of trying to protect themselves and protect the other person from possible growing emotions or attachments. I am sure couples may do this too. By the way. I bet the husband told you this right? Christ knows what the wife actually said to him........ I reckon men usually twist things to something it may not have been.

  reply

  like

• 

  sensexual

  9 years ago

  I think everyone has contributed well considered points to your post and all have merit. I would like to address your question - "how secure is a relationship/ marriage and what is trust... If we do have any underlying trust "issues" with our relationships then really why be here surely swinging will only lead to the ultimate demise." It is evident to me this question is not one you are trying to understand for the other couple but more for yourself as it is something you are personally wrestling with, so I hope this helps. There are three parts to giving you my view of what is going on - 1. Trust comes from within and the degree to which you trust yourself will be reflected in what you see in others. This means that if you have any unresolved trust issues / fear of being hurt etc, there is a strong likelihood you will find people that have exactly the same issues to reflect back to you those unresolved parts of yourself, in effect we all find evidence of what we need to grow and learn and perfectly attract it in to help us clear up our own issues. If you truly trust yourself at the deepest level, then this type of thing has no effect and there would be no need for you to post. 2. I personally feel a relationship is secure whilst we have alignment and are growing, evolving at a similar rate. Understanding and communicating in each others values will ensure long-Gevity. This lifestyle will definitely exacerbate anything that is not quite resolved in ourselves. At one point in your post you said, "I know wifey can be very flirty, but only when the time is appropriate. It has also made us have a look at how we conduct ourselves with other couples too." I think it is great that you are looking at your own behaviours however I would caution you about any judgement you have of your wife or yourself. I don't think you can be too much of anything, my view is, it just is, until it is not any more. Such comments makes your wife wrong and causes shame. This will definitely shut her down and she will not be able to express what is important to her, then the first person that listen ends will find alignment with your wife in a way you do not. 3. Finally I think your are right when you say "swinging will only lead to the ultimate demise" if things are not right in the relationship. This will simply be because what is important to one has not been correctly communicated and been lost in the relationship and that person is finding what they truly need, to grow and learn, elsewhere. I wish you the best with this situation and hope nothing I have said offends as it was designed to support what you are going through.

  reply

  like

• 

  Darkerthangrey

  9 years ago

  I agree with Meeka .... Or maybe you guys have passed your used by date and they are being polite .... 😘 - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like

• 

  Mischeviouslad

  9 years ago

  Don't take on other peoples issues..... as your issue.

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Thank you all for your responses.. We are taking them on board I guess the main issue for us was, did we do or say something wrong that we weren't told about... however realistically swinging like the dating scene is fickle trends and flavours come and go and sometimes we just have a used by date and we need to remind ourselves of that. Ho harm done and it is good thing to have a look at ourselves from time to time. You guys are always full of great insight. Thanks

  reply

  like

• 

  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I was with a couple a few times and ended it because a had a dream about the guy and it weirded me out. I'm sure it's an innocent thing :) - Posted from rhpmobile

  reply

  like