M35 F33

Couple swapping

October 18 2015

Is it just us or are those who are not into partner swapping deemed as a taboo/frowned upon? My partner and i are very new to the scene and after our first play date which didn't involve swapping I discovered that I don't really feel the need to have another man.. i felt watching another couple together was hot on its own! Any who since joining red hot pie and going through the messaging people and getting a feel for the community and learning along the way i noticed there seems to be a bit of trend of pushing for a swap? And when told you aren't ready or do not want to partner swap they get a little.. snippy? Am I alone in this? Is couple swapping during couples play really the be all and end all? Or are have we been attracting the wrong kind of people? We have talked to many fantastic and understanding people! Then there are those who get confused by our choice of not swapping ect? We don't meet up with the pushy type of people mind you. Tam xx

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DynamicCouple36

9 years ago

So many on here, have a sense of entitlement. They are of the opinion, that as this is a swingers / sex site, that everyone is on here for the same reason abd as such everyone must jump into bed at the drop of a hat...... Some even treat the women in here like pieces of meat . Clearly no respect. Don't let anyone push you into swapping if you don't want to . If they get bitchy & nasty, don't let it stress you out. Simply ignore and or block them. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

For us, we are far far far from pushy, but we see no need to play with another couple if there is no swap or direct interaction. You say you "dont feel the need for another man", but to us its not sbout *needing* another person...its just fun! Keep doing what works for you....good luck guys :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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lovman8

9 years ago

and what your boundaries are and amongst all the dross and misfits that make up this rhp site you will find good people with whom to play, in any way you choose. Stay positive and respectful and have heaps of fun.

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RHP User

9 years ago

Hey guys! Why thankyou for the lovely responses! And reassurance and explanations :) this is much appreciated! I am glad we aren't alone in this :-) It has sure been a fun little adventure so far! And yes I agree with everyone on here. It's is each to their own :-) I probably should elaborate on what I've said further. We may not be a swapping couple but I've discovered that I may be swinging for both genders. So our next step we are hoping to explore my inner bi side. Same room same partner is fun especially with the girl on girl interactions during the play! Getting all hot just thinking about it! Hehe Oh another question is how on earth do you find a single lady?! I have tried many tactics of messaging and never knew how hard it was to get a girl to reply until now! I always thought my male friends on dating sites were just whinging or doing something wrong but holey crap they aren't kidding when they say us women are hard to pick up! If that makes sense? Tam xx - Posted from rhpmobile

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MrandMrsBrady

9 years ago

Mr U here,Have looked at your profile OP and without wanting to sound harsh there are more don'ts then do's which is entirely your prerogative. However trying to follow/remember all those rules in the middle of play would do my head in and as a result I couldn't relax and enjoy it. I believe that probably puts a lot of people off, doesn't excuse the rudeness though - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

But you wouldn't be in my demographic. I don't need another man or woman but I like it, so we engage in full swaps. I'd use your information in your profile to determine whether we ' might ' be a prospective match and if you clearly stated you don't swap I wouldn't message you. If you're clear about that and people are disrespectful I wouldnt engage with them further. Enjoy Mary xx

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NudesRus

9 years ago

We would not bother hooking up with a couple that were not into full swap. Nothing against anyone if that's what they are into. Your new, young and attractive so no doubt you will get a fair bit of attention, good and bad. Reading your profile I can see why people may be a bit confused as to exactly what you are after, your sending a lot of mixed messages.

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RHP User

9 years ago

(I think Im replying right so bare with me as I figure this forum out) Unicorn - we tend to discuss our boundaries thoroughly as a couple. This we noticed helps us relax. So we aren't sitting there trying to remember our rules. We live in the moment. I apologize if our profile sounds as though we dwell on our boundaries. We have revamped pur profile as before it was overly negative which I didn't notice. This all trial and error for us as we learn along the way :) You have not offended us or myself one bit! I appreciate honesty and forwardness. It helps us out!

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madotara69

9 years ago

We joined this site as one of few where swinging is accommodated as part of the online dating concept and exciting it appears once passing the entry permit it seems the whole world is playing up, messages flutter in at light speed 'wanna meet if we click we play" 'she's hot'. Personally if anyone is agitated because you don't swap partners, feeling out fantasy come lifestyle and care for each other is these boundaries you agree with each other, if they don't understand that then they are using the swinging guise as a means to find a fuck, scratch an itch in an relationship of convenience and don't really give a fuck about you or anyone else but them selves. "What's in it for me" Fuck'em love birds, you stand by each other and you will find others that care, even take you under their wing and shelter you from the big bad wolf who huffs and puffs to get you all alone. Mado Mado Tara xx

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RHP User

9 years ago

Sorry mado I thought I had put a reply! Glitchy damn app! They can huff and puff as much as they want ;) The way we see it we got to start somewhere! And things tend to change as you discover new things about yourself! We might be a non swapping couple right now but that's not to say we won't one day decide to go "why the fuck not! Let's do this!" We aren't entirely closed minded! If we were we wouldn't of tracked down this amazing site! As someone said in a separate thread "little steps" This is only the start to us fully exploring our desires and fantasies! We communicate and compromise where we see appropriate :) isn't this what's its about?! Enjoying yourself, exploring and discovering new things! Thanks to this site I have started to find my sexual identity! I can tell you we are hooked on this site and there is no turning back for us :-P Tam xx - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

There's long lists that two people can do, and things that others can introduce you to. Others that occur around/with others but not involving swapping, are things like Exhibitionism & Voyeurism, group classes in things like tantric sex and other techniques. But I would say many couples start with baby steps first. You are young and there's no rush to take any further steps in any particular time period. Try going to couples events first, like a house party, club or a fetish night etc, there is typically no pressure to play, you can just watch and suss things out, and you can stay within your own boundaries. It also enables you to physically meet people straight away, rather than trying to make matches via messaging which can be difficult and time consuming, especially for newbies.

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madotara69

9 years ago

Quoting 'littleMissShy' Sorry mado I thought I had put a reply! Glitchy damn app! They can huff and puff as much as they want ;) The way we see it we got to start somewhere! And things tend to change as you discover new things about yourself! We might be a non swapping couple right now but that's not to say we won't one day decide to go "why the fuck not! Let's do this!" We aren't entirely closed minded! If we were we wouldn't of tracked down this amazing site! As someone said in a separate thread "little steps" This is only the start to us fully exploring our desires and fantasies! We communicate and compromise where we see appropriate :) isn't this what's its about?! Enjoying yourself, exploring and discovering new things! Thanks to this site I have started to find my sexual identity! I can tell you we are hooked on this site and there is no turning back for us :-P Tam xx - Posted from rhpmobile Well it does to us, we get off on each other and having a blast as best mates, in love and roll together same room sex because of it, what happens then is very much nature taking it's course and by crickey some folk have some good ideas.

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RHP User

9 years ago

Partner swap is common in the swinging community, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's compulsory. I guess that's what a profile is for, and you've used yours OP to explain that couple swap is off the menu for you. If other couples expect all swinging couples to do that, well, maybe that's a false assumption on their part. Those couples are free to give your profile a miss and look for others instead who do swap. I don't think it's valid that anyone would get 'snippy' if you've met from RHP, your profile is clear, and you've had a discussion about wants and limits. The situation I can think of that might be more confused is at a swingers club or party, where it's going to be more common, and people may assume everyone there is up for it. Even then, prospective partners should communicate, and try to avoid making assumptions. If a misunderstanding does crop up, a mature person would just accept that and move on. But since you're new to swinging, OP, and have the boundaries that you do, it sounds like you're not likely to jump into a swinger's club ASAP anyway. Making the above scenario unlikely to crop up. Maybe try to find voyeurs and exhibitionists specifically instead of swingers in general, who may be wanting the partner swap? 'Cos at the end of the day, OP, you're a hot, young woman. Men are going to want to have sex with you, as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow.

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RHP User

9 years ago

We have been swinging for a few years and have never done full swap and never will as we have no desire for that what so ever. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

9 years ago

Sorry for my late response! Wow thankyou everyone for being supportive and offering good advice! Tantric sex sounds tantalizing I Wont lie ;) Really matching couples? And you never had any issues with couples messaging you ect? Maybe it is because we are young so some feel that they can try and push. Even though it says clearly on our profile we don't swap they do try :-P brownie points for trying though ;) Actually about the swingers clubs that's something I am eager to get involved with! I didn't know Perth had such a thing until I did some research! (Before we found RHP) I guess I am a bit of a voyer. I love watching couples together its hot! And thanktou for the compliment Halo ;) Sorry my replies are all over the place I have yet to figure out how to reply directly to a comment! Tam xx

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RHP User

9 years ago

only if it all feels right... I learnt a long time ago to never say never.. Just never do anything you dont want to do ... Jay xx

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rupamohan

9 years ago

It is your profile and only you know how you want it. I can share what I will do if I were you. My suggestion is if accidents are happening. You can try to find who is at fault or you can try to find how to avoid it. I will put no swap in bold and at the beginning of profile. Many members don't read profile till end. You don't need another man. This can be misunderstood as what ever else you do is your need. I am not sure you can attract right couples if whatever you do here is your need. It can also be misunderstood that you think others have a need for a man that is why they do it. I will reword "Ï don't need man" or simply avoid giving any reason. Pushy people - Many people enjoy pushing own and to some extent other's boundaries. We learn something new by pushing boundaries. However our experience is most experienced people know if explicitly firm boundary is stated trying to push it will spoil the plot. Only naive or stupid person will get into spoiling the plot. GOOD LUCK!!!

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langton11

9 years ago

My wife and I have not swung before and I'm confident that same room, same partner would be the only way she'd feel comfortable entering into it. If she liked/was attracted to the other guy/woman she'd definitely have a play, but I'm not sure if she'd ever do a full swap or not; it'd take attraction, perfect venue, timing, vibe etc but tbh it doesn't bother me too much either way re full swap, I'd like it, but not enough to push her outside of her comfort zone. I think your, and hopefully our, approach is wise (for us) as it leans on the side of caution. I've heard a few stories re couples diving head first into this and then having regrets and in some cases breaking up as a result. Maybe if they'd taken a more cautious approach the red flags would have been risen early enough to have saved their relationships. Also, we have couple of friends who we wouldn't mind doing some same room action with BUT we both wouldn't like to do anything physical with this couple, just watching is fine ;) whereas we have other friends we wouldn't a little more with, it can often be about the vibe/attraction to the other couple. Anyway, best of luck to you on your journey

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RHP User

9 years ago

Everyone his boundaries. each of us is searching what's the best for himself or herself. Some know it before , some change after experiencing. There is no rules in that game, only respect of each other and real franckness. If you don't feel to swap, just say it and you'll find some people who are the same but don't blame those who prefer to share in swapping.There is nothing as anoying as people who are involved in a game who pull back because there are not really keen to do it.Better to talk first without judgment, take the decision to do it or not and then to do the best for the things to happen happily in friendship and humor.Anyway the pushy attitude never goes in the right direction.Better to meet up if not sure to be keen and see what is the connection. Sometimes a personal feeling with makes people push the hot button much further that you thought you could and sometimes the chemistry is not there. So better to stop it before. Nobody is to be blamed for that. We try and see. If it's magical alleluia, if not all the best to you and good luck. Simple as that.

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ReyandJean

9 years ago

No problems with couples who want to watch. Half the fun. Or play together while watching others. Just move those wandering hands gently off your asses or simply say no thanks. There's less pressure when there is a gang of people than a discrete foursome.

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