M41
Couple thinking about a playmate but need info?
July 06 2016
Comments
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LittleGiant
8 years ago
Cue everyone commenting about how you are being deceptive by having a single profile on here and how you should go ask HER for her thoughts, not us. Think you might regret this post pretty quickly if it goes the same way as similar ones....But seriously, does she know you're on here? Make your profile a couple's one and go to events to meet new people then let her set the boundaries depending on what she is and isn't comfortable with. Simples! Miss Little x
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tdh84
8 years ago
Ok fair enough I didn't think about it that way lol. Not trying to be deceptive. No she doesn't know I'm on here. I was going to tell her though. I was just after feedback. Not looking for anyone on here. Just thought it may help to get people's insights and experiences. I am new to this. Thought I would ask myself first before a couple's profile. Please don't think I'm just talking bs. I'm assuming that's a part of this forum asking for insight?
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social_suicide
8 years ago
Its pretty straight forward really. You have a chat and both agree on whatever you want to do. If the boundaries are more or less demands then forget it. Nothing worse than coercing a partner into something like this. There is no way you will cover all the bases through having a chat, it doesn't work that way so be prepared for a possible emotional roller-coaster ride. Oh and safe words are juvenile and insulting, if something is going on and Mrs doesn't like it then just speak up and say so, no one cares and everyone listens. For the first experience I would recommend neutral ground ie; hotel room, one way to start is you meet in the hotel bar or wherever and the women go up to the room to begin the night, you wait awhile then head up. Then the only problem is an obvious one, she will want to know where are you going to source the +1 from.
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Lol. Read your profile. States you are single and your description is sure set up to lure women into a 1 on 1. Yes the forum gives you insight and there are plenty on here accepting that there are people straying from partners. But there are plenty on here that have been caught up and hurt in the bullshit spun by others. I'd suggest a bit of honesty on your profile for the best insight. Strap in. Rough flight ahead.......
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DynamicCouple36
8 years ago
If she does not know about your profile on here, then more than likely she also does not know of your plans (or should that be your fantasy) with regards bringing a 3rd person into your bed. This can only backfire and lead to disaster for your relationship. Our suggestion is to speak to her about RHP and with her permission to open up a VERIFIED couples profile. Before you invite anyone into your bed, you both need to talk about it a LOT and so clearly establish your boundaries, likes, dislikes and concerns. If you don't then things could go pear shaped very quickly.
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Jonandjane2014
8 years ago
Just curious how you would feel if she said she wanted to invite another male into your bed? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Don't make any sudden movements and slowly exit the fora before they catch you ;) But yeah, pretty much what LittleGiant said.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Tdh24 sounds like very sound advice to me, are you looking after her or your self? Find out what her fantasise May be and weather she wants to leave it as a fantacy ! work around that , as men we can often get more pleasure facilitating.
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tdh84
8 years ago
AnniWhichWay I started this account when I was single and never actually used it. Just browsed now and then. Call it what you like but I've never posted or spoke to anyone on here. I'm not trying to lure any women out that seriously is a weak thing to do. Like I said I am only asking for insight.
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tdh84
8 years ago
There is no plans as yet. Haven't got that far but YES I have spoke to her about my fantasies ( and that's what they are ) not wanting another partner just abit of fun. She is interested in some. I've asked her if she wants to sleep with another man or have a threesome with another man but she's not keen on that. But she has watched 3some porn with 2 girl's and 1 guy and that got her excited. Please don't make this a personal attack. Gudge if you will but keep it to yourself please. I'm not here to start problems just want to talk with people in the game thanks.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Honesty is super important and I would suggest talking to her before even going online as a "single" man. Only she can say how she feels about this and you probably want to be clear on how "interested" she is. As in us she saying that she might be for your sakes or is it real interest?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsJonesy
8 years ago
And yes, honour your request for it not to be a personal attack. Firstly..... if your partner wants to do it, then she has to be the driver of the lust bus. If you want to do it through a site such as this, have a paid couples profile and let her do the searching and the chatting. To get anywhere have a detailed profile, pics with you both in them (you can have ones in your public gallery which hide your identity but still show you both together), and please do not just talk about what YOU TWO want. It has to be an encounter which has benefits for all three people involved....otherwise the elusive unicorn who you seek will yawn, close your message and move on....because unicorns are not an experiment but a person with their own desires and wishes. If you want to try a different approach, try going to a swingers club...watch the first night, see if you can have a chat with some people in the scene, get to know and feel comfortable in the place. Then go home, have a chat about what you saw, what you both liked and disliked...and whether you want to take the next step.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Who has been decepted many times and who is not interested in sharing. Hahahahaha. Not interested. I'm sure there's plenty of males who would be though - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Now that's out of the way..... As Ms Jonesy said, its all about the woman/women. They will choose who. And if they say no or stop play, they must be respected and looked after without questioning their decision. Put your own desires aside and support her, not drive her.
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tdh84
8 years ago
Yes it has to be totally respectful and how she wants it. Of course it's more about my pleasure but she is interested and it's something that could potentially really turn us both on and make us sexually so much more into sex again. I'm fine with however she wants to do it. The thought of it alone has got me excited so I'll be happy either way but of course I want her to be happy aswell.
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MsJonesy
8 years ago
"Of course its more about my pleasure..." No the %=@# not! If it is not about equal pleasure then dump the idea and find another way to spice it up. If she has to be coerced, if she feels she is doing it for your benefit and your pleasure then you are going to hit the brick wall covered with graffiti which says trouble...fights....and break up.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yes I agree with MsJonesy and will add that it sounds like you're hoping swinging will fix your sex life. Maybe it will, but I wouldn't count on it, particularly if she doesn't know about your presence on here as a single guy
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RHP User
8 years ago
on cue LittleGiant lol
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tdh84
8 years ago
I never asked anyone if they were interested so why comment?
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tdh84
8 years ago
Settle down please. I think your jumping to conclusions too quickly. I understand what your saying and I didn't mean it like that. I'll say it again we are only just talking about it so far. Just tring to be honest about how I write things. As I said before she's interested in it.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'MsJonesy' "Of course its more about my pleasure..." No the %=@# not! OP, that statement is a major red flag. Keep in mind that even if you do manage to get to the stage of putting up a couple's profile on here, finding single women for FFM threesomes is not easy at all. Single women who do play with couples are called unicorns for a reason and can be very choosy about the couples they go for. If they sense that your partner is not fully on board with you and is only doing it to try and please you or 'fix' your relationship, then they will run a mile.
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tdh84
8 years ago
Ok fair enough. Just not used to how this works.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Hi Maybe for starters you have been discussing how to go about it .. So here's my take of being bi courius this is only me not anyone else's thinking.. Suggest go to a club with her in a normal night club were there is girls of every look and ask your g:f which one do you think is hot ? If she does see a girl she's attracted to ask her what she would like to sexually do with her , get her all excited and suggest to go to a strip club and shout her a lapdance to the stripper that takes her fancy .. Believe me it's hot having the girl teasing . strippers love chicks going along , as its mostly men that go so in my experience is your girl will want a private showing . It's going to cost ya but see how you go with the night , if she's not interested in the real thing you know it's just a fantasy.. If she wants more bi action try a escort , couples profile and try on here together I hope that helps ...
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ReyandJean
8 years ago
We'll take the OP at face value. Here's our advice based on our experience. Get off the keyboard and attend an event where you meet real people. The keyboard route is twice as much effort with little return. You can facilitate by booking into the event, driving there, etc. But you're just leading the horse to water. Realize that single women who want to play with (inexperienced) couples are not easy to come by. You may need to expand your requirements somewhat or settle for voyeurism.
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SexyDeviants
8 years ago
Coming from someone who was once in a relationship that had no trust (he did things behind my back). Once she knows you've done something 'on your own' e.g. on rhp as a single. You will destroy the fantasy for her and it will no longer turn her on. To be a successful swinger, you HAVE TO have 100% trust, if she doesn't trust you, forget having any fun. No trust = big trouble. You also have to have open communication, you have to be honest with each other and talk about everything to do with in the life style. Without these two things, it won't work and the single bisexual woman you try and attract will smell you a mile off. If you give her honesty, love and affection and she trusts you 100% not to go behind her back in anyway (no matter how small you think it is)... You'll get your pleasure too, it's a two way street. You're a human, you obviously enjoy your own pleasure, fair enough. But for you to get off, you need your partner to trust you, and you need to be 100% honest with her. Mr D will sometimes tells me he likes having sex with other women, that other women turn him on... he is always honest with me, and it actually makes me more turned on the more we are honest with each other. That's my advice anyway, trust and communication, the rest is up to you... What ha worked for us won't necessarily work for you. Ms D
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youandus33
8 years ago
just plain cheating to us ,sorry dose not add up
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RHP User
8 years ago
Hi there In any relationship honesty and integrity is the key. If it really is a joint desire then there should be no issue with you having a couples profile or even a singles profile that explains the true situation. Exploring a variety of things you might both be interested can be a great thing for both of you. Just be honest about the intentions and also have integrity in your actions. Sometimes one party does need to take the lead and perhaps that was your intention however as a community you are putting yourself out there with conflicting intentions, not the best of starts. I see a lot of clients in your situation and I've gotta say I usually see them separately first and then together. There has not been one instance where they have truly both been on the same page about what they want as a couple. At that point a joint session is done and everything comes out and the negotiations begin. It usually works out really well and they decide on some rules and give whatever they decide a try in the safest circumstances possible. Which vary for everyone as everyone decides on different things. Anyway, communication is the key, maybe try going to a professional to facilitate the conversation and boundary setting to really make sure it's what you both want before jumping in and then update your profile to reflect that. It sounds like you both want something, but exactly what that is and if you are both on the same page may not quite be there yet. I really do hope you sort it out for the both of you. If done the right way it can strengthen a relationship.
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
I did say it would be a rough flight.............I've been here a couple of years and I still need to buckle in. You need to be rock solid as a couple to survive, not go solo and then try and get her on board. We all live and learn. But wish you good luck OP. the life style is worth the big effort that is needed from both sides of the couple but it's not for everyone.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'd let us know that I wasnt - Posted from rhpmobile
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tdh84
8 years ago
It's not very nice to make accusations youandus33. I can't tell you more than I already have. We have been talking more about it and we're making progress. Haven't discussed a couple's profile yet though. Still lot's and lots to talk about. I appreciate everyones help and am taking on board all of the advice. It would be nice if this whole thing was simple but life's not meant to be easy I guess. At least we are both talking thing's through thoroughly and are being respectful of each other's feelings towards it.
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Seachange
8 years ago
you got good advice from some people. I do understand this is a 'fact finding mission' or research for you. I think those who accused you of cheating have seen the worst of people here who say they are single and cheat behind their partner's back and then suffering some consequences of nasty interaction of the 'unsuspecting' partner. So you can not blame them. however, you have been dealt the tail end of the crap experience they went thru. I myself have had a nasty 'stalking' and abuse from an ex-playmate's wife. He said he was single and he was not. Long story. However, I will not blame you for his deception. It has nothing to do with you. Now, display caution and respect to your partner before proceeding as the repercussions affect not just the both of you but those people who engage with you with the knowledge that you are honest about your intent and situation. I hope you get to reach a point of understanding with your partner, set up your rules of engagement and pursue a path that works for both of you. Best of luck.
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tdh84
8 years ago
Cool. All makes sense. I try no to judge people is all. Especially on a public forum. It's all good though. Thanks for the advice :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
If my partner was on this site and had not told me??, I would be a little pissed, especially if my partner was trying to see if I wanted to have a threesome and I wasn't sure...She needs to be the one looking at the profiles, you need to be with her, talk to her, but ffm porn on while you are chatting, you both need to talk about rules or if there are any rules ...rules suck by the way, especially for the single female that may join you. Also you both need to talk about the experience before and when it is over...there are a lot of bi curious women here that have never or hardy even been with a women and sometimes finding a female with couple experience is better for the first time...You see it is about both of you, but girls, well sometimes they get emotional, or she may see you really want too, so she said yes and regrets it later (doing it for your partner, only ends up in pain), so she has to have the connection with the other female, for the first time and ever after, you need to give your partner as much attention as the girl who has joined you both for fun and playtime...remember it's playtime and some people don't understand how it is just sex and enjoyment nothing serious, in like your relationship with is serious??....just fun total trust and not one hint of jealous feelings...one little doubt, your both not ready - Posted from rhpmobile
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