T63
Couples
June 01 2019
Comments
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RHP User
6 years ago
Is a many and varied thing Hugs
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RHP User
6 years ago
I hear ya. I’ve given up on couples and am taking a break from being poly, dating married poly men. Usually too many rules, couples privilege is a real thing and invisible to the privileged, so there’s denial when it’s brought up. Then theirs their internal couple dynamic that you now play a part in, whether you want to or not. Not worth the dramas it brings. Happy to be convinced otherwise, but yet to happen.
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DynamicCouple36
6 years ago
We get flirts from “single” males. We reply politely and either get no reply, or a barrage of abuse if we politely declined his offer. And so perhaps some males think that they are on the top of the pile? Couples might very well be a lot harder to connect with. Why? Because you are dealing with the tastes, preferences of more than one person, and it’s very rare that all four people ( in the case if two couples) being attracted to one another. One would think that it would be a lot easier to simply hook up with a “single” guy but the % of no shows seems a lot higher with guys, in our experience. Then there are the couples profiles that are only the male half. The female seems blissfully unaware of RHP, their profile on here, and hubbies plans for her & himself. We get flirts & messages from couples too. Photos are exchange and then we often get ghosted. We guess that for many this is simply a fantasy. We don’t take it to heart. It’s one of the negatives of the online dating system. Often nothing is what it seems.
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Phoenix_Rising
6 years ago
Around a half of the single men who get a polite “no” from me reply with an equally polite “ok, thanks for answering”. I’ve never once had a couple reply after a rejection, it doesn’t go unnoticed..
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OkeyDoke45
6 years ago
I am potentially going through this once again at the moment Annie, it's like trying to communicate via a walkie talkie in a blizzard with this particular couple. I was approached, happily opened a line with them, get some replies to my messages and even then they are vague and sketchy. I'm a bit like Chriscat with it though - I mostly don't bother with it these days, and if I do get a message I don't invest too much energy into it due to past disappointments.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Annie I have no idea what couples think about their place on the pie rack. I don't really get the whole couples concept, unless one of them is bi. I do find a certain percentage of my profile views come from couples, with men the most frequent viewers. Since I clearly state I'm only interested in women who play alone my inbox is not overwhelmed.
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House_of_Fun
6 years ago
If you had said 'some' couples, I would have nodded my head. I can not agree with the generalisation though, I'm afraid. Though Phoenix does make an interesting point. In all my years I don't remember ever having received a thanks for your reply message from a couple either. I wonder what that says?
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AnnieWhichway
6 years ago
Quoting 'Solitary' If you had said 'some' couples, I would have nodded my head. I can not agree with the generalisation though, I'm afraid. Though Phoenix does make an interesting point. In all my years I don't remember ever having received a thanks for your reply message from a couple either. I wonder what that says? My bad. Yes, certainly not all couples but I'd say more than some. Perhaps a lot, maybe many, shitloads, a lot more than a few. Busloads even....... From my research on the topic, l can surmise a little. My research has come from my own profile, my significant other's profile experience and the couples profiles l have had over the years.It certainly is male (of the couple)driven. Contact under the same OP circumstance, ie, the response to a flirt or initial message to ones's profile, the following results can be offered. If it is a single female l can expect maybe 90 -100% reply to my reply.Single male maybe 80-90% reply to my replyCouple maybe 15 -25% reply to my reply. This increases if l was replying from a couple profile to maybe 30 -50%. I'm guessing a single female would get a higher result again in the search for unicorns.So.....My explanation to this, is the male of the offending couple that fail to provide courtesy and respect to the person responding to the initial contact has a high and mighty attitude being involved in a couples situation compared to a single male situation who would relish most contact responses.Hope that all makes sense
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deepestpurple
6 years ago
"Couple privilege""Not all couples" It's official, couples are the new males of RHP. I feel you though Annie, I get that vibe too.
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countrytouch82
6 years ago
As a single male and presumably this means with the others at the bottom of the pile, I don't have enough data by means of sexual interest correspondence to make any meaningful judgements :P Men, women, couples, TVs etc. Thinking logically... there's only a few categories developed here. If couples are down at the bottom (of said assorted RHP pile) just above the men, who makes up the rest of the volume? Because there aren't enough single women to fill all of such imaginary void from whoever happens to be at the top if not them? Or is it that we're all stuck at the bottom in some closely compacted order lol. Slightly more seriously I can't diss couples, as couples make up 95%+ of my sex life :)
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RHP User
6 years ago
If we see their faces in their public profile, we will check with each other first, but we both have a good idea of who we both want. We will check with each other after face pics have been exchanged. I have made the mistake of speaking with couples who claim to be athletic and are not. Hunter is more careful. We always give a polite no if we believe we aren't a good match. I think it is wrong to put a class system in place and everyone should be treated with respect.
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NewVicCpl
6 years ago
For us, it is generally me (the Mr) on here, but if we get a message or flirt from a couple or single male/female then i will make sure that we discuss and agree on how to reply and I (we) will reply to all, even if it is a polite thanks but no thanks. That said, there are times like this week were we have commented on a trending forum post which has resulted in a significant spike in the number of flirts being sent our way so I will filter them and ignore the ones that do not align to our 'looking for' criteria as there are just too many people to reply too....
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RHP User
6 years ago
It's not all couples Some are lovely and say hello etc we are looking for this heres our photos tell us what you think ...and are perfectly fine with a no thankyou happy hunting sort of response or a hell yeah hello hotties You do get some of the pushy couples that think they arent worthy of a no .. even when your polite in your response you get another message with ..."oh If only ".. "because if you did ".. ... I said no .. that's the only word you need to understand stop pushing Then you get the bad eggs.. the ones that message saying what they want and don't ask you or if they do they dont really care as long as it suits their needs... then when you say oh ok can I see your photos ...their response "oh no you first!!" .... umm sorry I'm the one your approaching?? ... I'm the one answering wether I basiclly want to be apart of something your already in... dont flip the switch haha 🤣 sometimes you just have to laugh it off and ignore it
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RHP User
6 years ago
Couples are much more polite to women than men. As I said it’s a guess 😕 Now back to the bottom guys. 😭
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RHP User
6 years ago
“...accept that you sit just above the single male rubble at the bottom.” “...fail to provide courtesy and respect to the person” “...high and mighty attitude compared to a single male situation who would relish most contact responses” Holy Judgemental Batman!
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AnnieWhichway
6 years ago
Quoting 'tred_lorde' “...accept that you sit just above the single male rubble at the bottom.” “...fail to provide courtesy and respect to the person” “...high and mighty attitude compared to a single male situation who would relish most contact responses” Holy Judgemental Batman! Fair call. Many know my posting style to know there was a fair bit of tongue in cheek within. Occasionally that is required to grab their attention to make them realise that it is about their behaviour. Wildly l think they will change that. But usually, once a dick, always a dick. I live in hope. But l think everyone is judgemental to certain degree. I will judge those that provide the usual evidence that lets them fall within certain parameters of various categories. Such as single men that are not single. Couples that are not couples. Rightly or wrongly l still may play with attached 'single' men but it requires up front honesty so l know to be expecting to be fucked around. Post responses can be interesting. Those that jump the most are often guilty
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RHP User
6 years ago
That’s a honest & reasonable response. A few truisms there so fair enough 👍🏼
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