M63
Couples Profiles~ it's like talking to a schizophrenic~
September 06 2009
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Lol. I wrote our profile and Andy looked over it before we posted it and that is all good. We have talked till the cows come home about what we like and don't like.you would therefore think we were pretty well sorted and there would be no conflict, disagreement...all united all the time. ROFL!!!! The truth of it? I jump on RHP and I look around, check out the sent folders and see who Andy may have flirted with or messaged, I pop onto MSN, wow someone new has been added.... "Andy, OMG, did you send a flirt to that person?!?!? Ewww, yuck"" "'God, Andy I said on our profile noone under 26 the f in this couple is only 25 and 3/4" "Andy, it says in their profile that he is a light smoker, why did you even add them to msn?" "Oh god, she says 'play with me if your not scared your man will like me more' What the hell did you send a flirt to a woman that says that for? Did you even read the profile?!?!" " You emailed such and such to arrange coffee, I said I did not want to do coffee on that day. You never listen...bla, blah blah....... and then there is "What did you tell them that for? Don't tell people I like that, I dont want to do that with them, that is my business not theirs" and finally "You sent them our pg? Don't send people our PG without me knowing who they are, I don't want just anyone seeing that. I don't like there profile that is why I did not send it in the first place, jeez, They are pics too and I have the right to choose who sees me naked and who doesnt" Yes, at this point Andy has tuned out, throwm up his hands and either said. "FFS, you know what, you handle this from now on I don't care anymore" or "I am not doing this anymore you make it too damm hard etc etc etc. Yes one profile two people. Andy and I are both quite controlling but in different ways. I will expand my limitations when it suits me, but he challenges them, and look out! Also, one male of a couple told us it is a numbers game. Where I will read every profile in full then decide wether to flirt or not some men will go, yep fits the basic criteria, only one strike, but maybe it will be fine or they simply are horny when they flirting/messaging and just see a hot pic, or really just want to play so badly the standards lower a little in the hopes the person will be cool and make up for some fault in another way. In the case of the "If your not scared your man will like me more" statement (there is a profile that really says words to that affect) the female may see warning bells and percieve this woman as a threat, whereas a man either just thinks cooll thats hot (with complete devotion to there partner so therefore confusion as to why their partner should feel threatened. We are getting better. This stuff happens less and less. I am guessing you have had this happen Gaz, one partner really keen, maybe forged ahead a little faster than the other wanted to so you get very lukewarm responses from that partner? I admit we have been guilty of that, and I do feel bad when it happens. You can pretty much right off a person after that. Why would they want to get involved with a couple who cant sort themselves out. When bickering starts that early on imagine the drama you could get in the bedroom....Noone in there right mind wants to deal with that. Now I know there will be plenty of you that will have a go at me for some of those naggy things I have said, and maybe even Andy will agree with this post?! But I am being totally honest here about some of the stuff that can go on with a couple. I understand your frustration Gaz because we are sometimes that couple (heaven forbid). Mostly though it is cool and I stress these two things to any couples out there that experience the same: 1)Comminication is a must 2)Don't sweat the small stuff. I have to remind myself of number 2 sometimes Andy, you know we're cool xx Sal
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RHP User
15 years ago
Should have edited that before I posted it, sorry guys. xxx
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tamworthguy46
15 years ago
Being skizophenic gazz i am deeply offended and hurt by that heading..... lol had you there for a min gazz. am i reading between the lines to much by saying let the ladies do choosing for group play, because the guys will pretty much go allong with whatever they decide, but i also sympatise with people trieng to read a one profile 2 personality story !....confusing to say the least !
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RHP User
15 years ago
SalAndy, Hello how are you going? I live with a "friend with benefits", though their hasn't been any benefits latley!! :( We go out together and what ever happens, happens!! :) ... I must admit i am pretty cool with everything that happens with either one of us, but one thing that annoys me is when he would rather get it on with someone else all the time( even though he dosen't) , rather than me !! Maybe i am just being green eyes.... Our thing will never be anything more than "friends with benefits" i know. I dont want it to be anything more than that... When we go out we scan and say who we would like to pick up :). He says he likes going out on the town with me as we look for the same things!!! Don't know what to think or do any more.. :0 HELP!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi guys, well written Sal. I must admit i giggled all through reading your post. You both sound the same as us. Quite scary really and im sure were not alone.I have to agree on your two points..1/ communication..id like to think Grav knows me well enough, so whens hes talking to another part of a couple/female he can give them the right information and vice versa. 2/ Dont sweat on the small stuff...In the end it all comes down to meeting people...thats if you can actually arrange real people to meet. I think we have all had the bad experiences of no shows. We believe theres no harm in atleast meeting people and then taking things from there. Be it, there just going to be friends or maybe having fun. We always go with no expectations, no dissapointments. Probably the hardest part is arranging dates and times when your all free.I understand tho where your coming from...we both miss certain points on profiles before sending a message/flirt to people. But hey ..you never know...they might just turn out to be the right ones. Lifes to short...deal with it when the times comes...and remember there probably thinking the same about yourselves.Funny part is....Grav never flirted me coz he thought i wouldnt want to meet him ...and i didnt give him a second look..simply coz i didnt like his profile picture. We met by chance at a swingers club 3 yrs ago in all out glory ...lol ..The rest is history.Leelee xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
we are a couple and have found that if you do the whole RHP thing together as in both be present at the time you dont seem to have as many issues
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RHP User
15 years ago
I look, and she has the final say.....no correspondence will be entered into and the judges verdict is final !!!! Cheers Nev
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RHP User
15 years ago
You guys actually read my lengthy post. Glad it resonated with you. Shirlygirl, I am a little surprised you feel that way being friends with benefits, but I do get it. I dare say it is a case of the greened eyed monster, I am not sure what you should do. Maybe talk about it. But pick the right time. Timing also important...we have some great talks at the strangest times and really get quite deep. We learn alot about each other that way and without getting over emotional. xx Sal
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ahahaha gaz... this post gave me a good laugh! I agree with tamworthy.... 99% of the time it's the ladies who have the final say... my experience is limited to FFM and couples but seems to me that if the girls hit it off.... then it's all good ;-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
6911pl is probably right, it'd be best to do this when both are always present but we find this just about impossible. We are very time poor and the time we have together is very precious and the last thing we want to do is be on the computer. Mr Pup initially did the groundwork online and had the same fun as Sal and Andy so he did the whole 'FFS tantrum' and let Mrs Pup do the work. Now Mrs Pup is a very accepting (some may say naive) lass and just got taken for a ride by those on here that are not honest and upfront. So she chucked her own tantrum and chucked the computer back at Mr Pup! We've slowly worked it out and what works for us is to not sweat anything and just wait for a time when we can meet people face to face. We're the horrible couple who don't have a lot of time for this so we're sure to piss off a few people but then I think we end up meeting the same relaxed, chilled out types as us as the meets we seem to make end up being quite compatible. But to Gaz's Skitso lament, try hooking up between 2 couples, there's then 4 people to contend with and the permutations of who likes who and what to do when and where gets a whole lot more..... confusing...nah it's all fun and games!
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RHP User
15 years ago
You are right Puppy, 2 couples equals 4 individuals...a whole other issue in itself, but with experience we do get better.Someone else has mentioned that if the females get along then it is usually all good, and alot of the time that is true. We found for the ffm what worked really well was me taking over and organising the whole thing. I did that and it was great. Andy however, and totally understandably would love an opportunity to do the hunting, you know thrill of the chase and all that.I am planning something now for him, but I am not saying what, I hope he likes it ;)
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RHP User
15 years ago
We've often been told that people can't tell which of us is online, 'cos our chatting styles are quite similar. It confuses the hell out of people when they were chatting to one of us and then half an hour later the other gets on and has no idea who they are! It's difficult enough keeping track of everyone I chat to let alone those mr goat has chatted to! apologies to all those who get lost in the cross-fire, miss goat
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RHP User
15 years ago
Okay Andy here' I don't throw tantrums. I just get really sad and disappointed if something doesn't go to plan. Yes I do sulk but I get over it. :) Sal and I might get two days out of a month to play. And even then (depending on the cycle of the moon) that might not happen. Sal says she is happy to play once every three months. But it seems to me that she is on RHP more than I am... and she has all their phone numbers not I :P When we get home we are both racing to RHP to find out if we have any flirts or winks, or MSN to see if anyone wants to meet for ‘coffee’ So many things cock block me - i'm block clocked...cocked ... oh well you get my point. We tried newbies the other day and that was a nice dinner ... and that was it! perfectly good Friday ruined by an early night. We went to the club the other night and everyone in there smoked ... sal swinger directive 3 is no playing with smokers. We can't play with anyone under 26 I’m with the only person it seems in the world that has an issue with age. Have you ever had a hot 19 indicate she wants to shag only to be told that you're not allowed... Guys you hear me on this one hey!! No I get told I’m turning into a dirty old man. I’m 34, and you know what, she ended up copping off with a guy in his 50’s ... obviously she didn’t care and he didn’t care. Why lord WHY!!! I could have been in there, I could have bridged the generation gap! Like Rove, loved by old and young. Then there’s the case of the other night, where the girl with the bolted on dd’s in the club looked too ‘skanky’ I’m in a sex club, for fucks sake. ON the other hand Sal did dare me to put my head between them and blow a raspberry. A dare I dared not take up, the guy she was with wore a Metallica t-shirt and looked like the missing link! The narrowing of couples and singles is getting tighter and tighter... but we still manage, I guess. I'm not sure what Sal is planning for me, but oh what I have planned for her. The best times we have is when she has the control but I’ve got a domination session planned for her and our girlfriend coming up when I get back in a couple of weeks. Teach her to block cock me. Cock block !! whatever We are still trying to find a nice man for us to have our MMF, someone with a big nob that ejaculates white chocolate would do! Hey even I would have a go if you could manage rum and raisin. A
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RHP User
15 years ago
shirlygirl We would love nothing more to be your friend with benefits.....and Andy....we also dont understand this thing with ages.....what does it really matter....we have an age gap and love it.....just some other cpls dont ...well its their loss we guess...
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think the girls need to talk before going ahead with anything. Somehow it makes everything run so much smoother.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Fun_sexc_couple... lolz... yes... but if it's mmf you are organising then there's only one "girl" involved .... so obviously the guys have to work it out together..... See the lady might find you attractive... but if the guy finds you annoying it just isn't going to happen... so you have to chat both up... but there is a single profile for both... and as a consequence of that it's sometimes difficult to work out which partner you are chatting to .... and what pushes their buttons.... As I see it, guys buttons are nearly always different to women's buttons.... hehe... wtf are you talking about gaz??? Men have a penis and women have vaginas.. lol. ... any way.... It's the split personality that makes it so interesting... and so difficult. Obviously, this is why so many coulples say that they have difficulty arranging an MMF even when there are a zillion guys with their hand up saying "kick it to me"..... HUgs Gazza
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RHP User
15 years ago
Talk to the woman she will have the casting vote
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