M43
Couple's happiness
February 19 2015
Comments
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
Lack of jealousy, lots of trust. It certainly creates a very unique bond... unconditional love. 1) Always had kinky friends, but we were a vanilla couple. Both used to be very jealous but at different points in our long-term relationship. 2) I (missus) brought it up. You know how they say never try it if your relationship is rocky. Well we did and... 3) We've a better and stronger relationship as a result. But we had to talk a lot of stuff out to get here...
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Hottie1
10 years ago
Trust is vital. I (mrs) play more significantly than hubby and he loves hearing about my very sexy plays which leads to further mind blowing sex ( I'm insatiable ) 😉 Hubby raised it and had been for many years and I didn't see the light till I opened my birthday present one year ( a gorgeous hot escort). He had listened to my fears/insecurities ( to do with body issues etc) and for over a year we played with escorts. He then said lets try swinging and he joined us to RHP. We have met a couple of incredible single men and we have 4 favourite couples on this site ;) I play with one with me as the third. Whether playing singularly or as a couple we are never jealous and he accepts when I say to him ' I'm not playing with you at parties, I can have you any time.' I owe our happiness to hubbies very relaxed nature and approach. I don't know if it would have been successful with this if it started the other way round, more to do with my insecurities again. Many people can't believe we've been swinging for under 12 months ;) I'm glad for paradise pair (😘) but we have friends in a rocky relationship and I see the writing on the wall!!!!! Enjoy the ride country touch, you must bring a lot to the play to be included in others play :) Mary xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
You sound like you have the perfect arrangement, and are still obviously very much in love. I couldnt swing, I couldnt watch someone I loved having sex with another person. But I understand why it can add to someones relationship. I know a guy who has been on here for ten years and regularly plays with couples. He said to me that quite a lot end up splitting up when one or the other falls for a playmate. There must be an incredible level of trust. Certainly a lot of the couples on the forums seem very happy and are still in love with each other.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It was the Mrs3s desire to experiment with the ladies that bought us here. We ended up playing with another male first though so go figure lol. Though fairly new to the caper ww've found its significantly enhanced our relationship and are looking forward to more adventures down the track. Luckily for us we're able to enjoy sex for sex and so jealousy isnt an issue. I know Mrs3 is the only significant woman in my life and vice versa.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
You never truly know what is going on in someone elses relationship.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I admire the most..yes you,you little lurkers..have been together since they were sixteen and seventeen...they absolutely love each other but have different things they enjoy...they have a number of friends who they play with but also who they care about ...xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
You have no idea of what's going on behind the scenes. My experience is that swinging couples are no more happier than the general population. 5 years ago I went out with a girl who was a swinger (I was not) and most of her friends were swinger couples. 5 years later, out of the 8 couples I got to know very well, only one couple is still together and they have their own issues that they struggle with. There were another 10 couples that I knew from afar and from what I know at least half of them have separated too. Not a good strike rate. What you think and what is really going on behind the scenes is usually very different
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' He said to me that quite a lot end up splitting up when one or the other falls for a playmate. Quoting 'Paradisepair'You know how they say never try it if your relationship is rocky. Well we did and... We've a better and stronger relationship as a result. But we had to talk a lot of stuff out to get here... I would say that couples that split as a result of swinging were probably on that road anyway (as many are). Breaking up is not always the end of the world, but it certainly feels like it at the time. But sometimes it is for the best if certain aspects are not in common. It is possible to have a mutual, good willed parting, but it doesn't mean it hurts any less. Swinging can be done for either right or wrong reasons, but so can casual sex as a single. The relationships that get stronger from swinging, are the ones that benefit not just from swinging, but by bringing back sex and fantasy into their lives. There have been experiments for couples that are on the rocks (not having sex among other things), and they were TOLD to start by having sex EVERY DAY for a certain timespan, whether they felt like it or not. As a result, their relationship blossomed. (Of course it doesn't have to be every day).
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Fit73' at least half of them have separated too. Not a good strike rate. Most people would have many relationships in their lives. That means many breakups. Sometimes a relationship is only good for certain stages in each other's lives, then people change. Sometimes it is not about staying together forever regardless, if things are too much of a struggle. Sometimes it is better to let the other person go. I have let someone I loved go, who is now in a new relationship, and guess what - I wish them all the best. I don't think it is about trying to improve the statistics of society, but finding the right person for the right time. Yes I'm sure most of us want our relationships to last *indefinately*, but I don't think a high breakup rate or divorce rate is *necessarily* a poor reflection on society (a commonly held view). Fit73, perhaps you are right though. It could be just me, and the fact that I have only really met and played with couples that are in 10-20-30 year relationships, often with kids (older or adults themselves). Yes I have met one of those couples aged approx 50, together since school age. But these couples might only have been swinging for a much shorter time, but are happy because they have a much stronger family, financial and personal life to build apon. (None via RHP btw).
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RHP User
10 years ago
so people who fuck and live together are more happy? Such a shallow view of happiness!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I should have added at the start: Or do swinging couples seem happier than most other couples. I am comparing swinging and non-swinging couples. Most responses seemed to have assumed that :)
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madotara69
10 years ago
Was what we initially fantasised towards and it came about in pillow talk while we were enjoying ourselves doing what we do. I mentioned how much I enjoyed what Tara was making me feel and talked of how much another guy would enjoy the enthusiasm of her passion in the playful nature she has. Her playful nature found the thoughts to be erotic and certainly arousing, so we talked more too it and fantasy became the better of us for giving it a whirl. It has not changed our relationship in any way, just something we have enjoyed and shared together with others and double penetration was something well worth the plunge of diving into the deep end, just can't do that with toys, but by jingo's does Tara enjoy it with two boys. Mado Mado Tara xx
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QLDtwo4fun
10 years ago
Q1 no Q2 yes, I don't remember who brought it up, but over time a shared fantasy be came reality. Q3 yes,
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Hottie1
10 years ago
Indicating he knows it's simply an observation albeit an external one. Agreed Mischievous Lad, no one knows the intricacies of the relationship of the relationship other than the people in that relationship. Most couples may 'seem happy' because when swinging you don't have to think of the other stuff that impacts relationships such as financial, social pressures etc. and you get to be something else for that period of time. So it may in fact be quite a short lived or token happiness 😁 thank you for your lovely words Koko but we constantly reassess where we are at and check we are both happy. I am extraordinarily lucky because hubby is the sort of bloke who is chilled and relaxed and not jealous. He also knows I respect his opinions and he has said how he has felt about certain playmates and they are no longer part of my scene ( I won't tell him but hubby has been right on both occasions) 😉 Mary xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
The common problem I saw in the swinging community and the couples I met was that there was always one partner that wanted it more than the other. This led to dynamics that were impossible to manage in the relationship over time. Added to that was drugs and alcohol (a big part of the active swinging scene). Like you, from the outside looking in, it looked ideal......sexy, fun, everyone having the time of their lives. But as I got to know the people and saw the real dynamics and real relationships behind the facade, it was a very sad sight indeed. It can work for some, but that is the minority from what I saw in the scene.
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