Couples - one partner wanting to swing more than the other

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Hi guys. We both enjoy the lifestyle equally, but don't let it rule our world. We swing when we get the chance, and that way it seems to us to be more of a desire, a bit more intimate and not a have to. What works for us is, we don't want to be with everyone, and to be swinging every weekend, but to enjoy theme nights at the clubs and private parties every now and then when it suits us and our other life. Enjoy the journey... :)

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  jenniecruising

  12 years ago

  It must be the female half of the couple as 9 out 10 profiles only have pictures of the female and the male half is just going along with it.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  if either of us was ever 'upset or impatient' about wanting to play, it would be time for us to give the game away........

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  And I only say my experience when it comes to MFM that is has been the mans idea , a number of years agomimwould have thought the opposite but not for the past few years and the majority of contact / meet ups I've had from this site have been initiated by the man .......I share the love of MFM :-)

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Unless you both want it...it will end up toxic- Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  There's complete equality with us - there is nobody 'driving' more than the other. It's a hobby that we share but it doesn't rule our lives. I guess there has been mild disappointment in the past if one feels chemistry with potential playmates and one doesn't (so we don't play) but its very short lived and it stays in perspective. But I'd be worried if one of us wanted it more than the other and would probably be inclined to call it quits. Good luck!- Posted from rhpmobile

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  QLDtwo4fun

  12 years ago

  We talked about it for years, we play when we can, but we have lots of other commitments. It's pretty much a shared thing, it give us pleasure to talk about it later too.

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  Cheekyarses

  12 years ago

  This happens lots n lots n if you are in it together you need to communicate with each other.... If one isn't into it as much as the other - is rhp going to wk for you??

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Love your thoughts ! Another pet dislike is single female profiles that say they only play with their partner, which is fine, but why not alter your profile to a couples profile ? And put up some pics of both of you. Hp xo

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Communication and respect should be the mantra of every swinging couple. You need good communication because there are things that you will disagree on. Whether it be a frequency, level of interaction, attraction or non-attraction to someone, the situation etc. No two people truly think alike. In terms of driving force behind our interactions, we both share the work in finding couples and sending messages etc. In terms of swinging itself, I'd say Mr Otori would have a higher drive to swing with others than me. But through communicating we were able to reach a compromise that suited both of us. For instance, swinging only on weekends that we don't have the kids. If there is a situation or couple or something that uncomfortable with, all we need to do is speak up and respect our partner's decision or feelings in that regard. Part of that respect is not questioning a "no, not into that," or "no, I don't want to/want you to do..." Part of having good communication is feeling safe enough to voice your opinion. Saying "no, not interested" should NOT be followed by an argument, reprisals, or attempts to persuade or coerce the partner to say yes. With swinging, we always say it takes as many yes votes as there are willing partners to get things going, but only one no vote to stop things. The biggest thing you want to avoid is either meeting a couple that don't have good communication and respect or being the couple with bad communication and no respect. The most awkward thing is meeting a couple in which one partner is being pushed. Everyone can tell no matter how much they try to cover it up and no-one really wants to be a part of forcing someone to do something.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  For a successful relation you need good and honest communication. There is usually a dominant partner, and the extent of that dominance of course varies. A while back I had a couples profile with my partner at the time. I was more eager than her but we had a rule that the couple profile was only ever used together. That we did not communicate with anyone unless vetted by the other. We both also maintained our personal profiles (we met via RHP) but we shared our passwords. We actually became very selective and did not meet many new people in that time.Personally I do not approach couple profiles as a single person any more. First because there are too many overbearing guys controlling the communication and setting up the meetings. Second, way to many couple profiles end up with, "my wife is away.......blah blah" oh please spare me. Last, nothing worse than meeting a couple to find out one is just perfect and the other I would not touch with a barge pole. All too hard so I don't bother with couples any more.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Isn't swinging a united front?? If one person is into it more than the other and one is the driving force, I'd be focusing in fixing that first before heading out to play...it would not be fair on the other people you meet. Having tension in the air, experienced couples who swing would pick that up - I know I would. Maybe do up separate profiles if you want to play separately?? Good Luck FOXY

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  In the swinging scene, its something I am yet to explore...BUT one thing I am sure about is the communication and united front must be of high regard....Just like any other relationship I am guessing??? To me, that would a high priority in my books and I would not want to be "pushed into something" that made me uncomfortable or the other person getting "impatient" with me....if that were the case I would fix my backyard first. FOXY

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  mvagusta9

  12 years ago

  Both partners must be wanting to do this without regrets or jealously, am looking for friend with benefits so I can swing more often any ladies want join me.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Hi all, Thanks for the many comments. I would just like to say that my partner and I are very much in love and happy together. We have communicated a lot about this issue and what each of us wants. We certainly have never swung or would ever swing with one partner not into the situation or being pushed into it. We have had some great experiences and we both want more sexy fun times. It is more about the frequency that we swing and how much of our lives it involves that we feel differently about. Cheers The Special 2

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Thanks for your response. You made a lot of good points and we appreciate it.

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