M52
Couples please "define couples " whats acceptable what is not?
December 23 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why not guys.. If you both like swinging with couples, then can't see any problem with your lifestyle in this lifestyle..
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi,no problem at all as long she actually turns up to meets and greets and playtime.This is one of the biggest annoyances in the lifestyle where single guys try to be a 'couple' to bluff their way in past the gatekeepers.Their 'woman' is a figment of their imagination with the excuses stated why she can't come making Monty Python proud. Couples have all sorts of living arrangements so there are really no hard and fast rules what defines couples as long as you present as one.Good luck with it,there are lots of parties on this time of year.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Bigocean72' My partner and i are in a open sexual relationship we do not live in a defacto style relationship as she lives 40 kms away from him You man "from me", right?.I don't see why that would be a problem at all. Some couples here have said they will only play with others in committed relationships, because people who are not will not be concerned about the other person's pleasure. I think that's not true at all. It's all about mutual respect, whether you're lovers, friends, partners or all of the above.
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RHP User
11 years ago
"From me " correct. - Posted from rhpmobile
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QLDtwo4fun
11 years ago
The relationship you describe meets the dictionay definitions of a couple.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Two people in a relationship.
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Rockme2018
11 years ago
As long as you are honest and upfront with other members and in your profile about your situation, I don't see you have a problem. It's a case of different strokes for different folks, and as long as others know your situation from when you first start talking, they can make a choice from there (and vice versa of course). Nothing worse than getting to know what you thought was a couple, only to find the situation is something other than what you thought. You see many couples profiles where they state that they are just fuckbuddies or similar, and not in a committed relationship. So yeah, be upfront and you guys should be fine
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
Hey there Bigocean72 we are in a very similar situation to you. We have a long distance relationship like you except there is 400km between us not 40km lol Likewise we love the time we spend together but we still get to have our own independence. We are not married either, but we have been together for 2 years long distance. We do not have kids together and neither of us want kids so this works great. We have had a couples profile on here for about a year now but have only been seriously looking and playing for about 3 months since my partner moved back to the Gold Coast for work. We have met a few couples from the site that have been free to meet at the same time I have been on the Gold Coast visiting my partner. We would love to play more but because I only get down to the Gold Coast once, or twice a month this limits our free time for catch up's. The good thing is most couples are willing to be patient and once you communicate your situation with them and they understand they feel that your are more genuine and are willing to meet. All of the above only applies if you are truly genuine however as trustntru stated many couples get annoyed when they think a single guys is posing as a couple. Make sure to have photos of both of you on your profile and possibly offer to let a potential couple chat to BOTH of your before a meet so that they know you are a true genuine couple :) Taby xx
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On_Safari
11 years ago
What if two people (having an affair) formed a couples profile? They are, for lack of a better term; committed to the affair, trust and care for each other implicitly. Are attempting to explore this lifestyle together further because of that caring and trust and are openly honest with others that one of them is married to someone else. Honesty and respect still being paramount to both people and not wanting to deceive any potential playmates. What is the moral stance here for others being approached by that couple? Would the fact that the honesty has been complete still make them attractive as potential playmates? Given that they care for each other very much and would not want to hurt/lie to another couple..... Genuinely interested ~ Indy - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' What if two people (having an affair) formed a couples profile? They are, for lack of a better term; committed to the affair, trust and care for each other implicitly. A couple in this situation approached me. The answer is an absolute "No way". And how could two people both cheating on their partners trust each other implicitly? Aren't they both showing they can be dishonest?
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madotara69
11 years ago
Without judgement to the vows with marriage, then two people intimate within an affair are a couple in it's ways. Though taking a few more steps, two could meet in the street, agree to calling themselves a couple to get into a couples club for example. (who would know the better) I think there is a bond with committed couples that swinging has an unwritten set of rules, beliefs, comfort and a sense of trust. Maybe only couples that truly are in love understand that side of things. What is important, couples should be clearly informed, as to what sort of other couple they may be, when interests are shown, outside of the club scenario at least. Otherwise what sort of meaning is there to the couples thing? For what is at worth to a couple together in marriage, there should be no "grey" areas that may spoil the moments, watered down to the singles approach to the lifestyle. We are in love and it is all we have, and it means something. That needs to be considered and respected to the idea of couples in the swinging lifestyle. I think you know this Indi, so it was a good question thanks. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
We are not a couple, but started playing as a one about a month after meeting on RHP. Our profile is clear about us both being single and leading separate lives. We very much respect each other though, and considers ourselves friends, so having the other's back and ensuring we are both completely at ease hand and satisfied is paramount. x Ms Shout.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Mado and Tara That is an awsome and honest insight into your and other couples private personal feelings and a great answer for indi. , myself and any body else considering expanding there own adventures , or be it everybody in any situation including singles, couples , groups , clubs that the root of all ? and the moral grounds of any good relationship sexual or not is simple COMMUNICATiON , up front and honest communication between everybody involved that means everybody. As everybody feels and everybody can be hurt in many ways when opening there body mind partner and life to share with others!! Thanks all so far for some great feedback keep em come'n. - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Thanks Mado, your feelings echo mine and is a viewpoint I have echoed whilst in discussion with this couple. Mes they have been together for an extended period of time, their quandary exists not because of wanting to deceive others or to gain access to clubs as a couple or anything as "seedy" or underhanded as you imply. Yes I can believe there are people who do that.....these two however aren't interested in that scenario and want to be as honest as possible with those they engage thereby giving thise couples the choice to participate or not. I'm sure they fully comprehend the seriousness of the vows that were made to the partner and I can assure you they are more than aware of the consequences of their actions. No one is out to deceive, sleaze or mislead others which in fact is why I broached the question? And trust me, i have never heard either party ever mention the "spouse" with anything less than respect, love, consideration and caring. Mr Tryst and Ms Shout is it working for you both? How do neither of you fall in love deeper than the bond you must already share? And yes I completely understand the statements around trust and communication with each other when giving of yourselves to others. Thank you. And Mes thank you too.....deception is terrible for everyone and it all seens a bit of harmless fun until someone gets hurt but that isn't exactly the question at hand here.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Aren't they both showing they can be dishonest? Undeniably yes. My understanding is that beither have had to formulate elaborate plots to be together and it's just business as usual for them since both travel for work and "live away from home". I think if it required lies and deception to occur then it wouldn't be taking place for them. The genuine caring and trust exists I'm not sure why, maybe it's being together in that scenario for so long, but now I'm curious too....I'll ask them (lol yes because I'm intrigued AND nosey!) ~ Indy x
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madotara69
11 years ago
Thanks, and you right that everyone can benefit with communication. Personally if we were in your situation, and we had feelings for each other, that we were friends as lovers. Well that's how we started, as friends we could share our thoughts openly to become a couple here and as you say " expand our experiences". There is many different reasons why people want to swing, if you care for this friend of yours and she cares for you. Then you are a couple. And you will find couples to play with if you are up front, like you are here. So good luck and make the best of things. Mado Tara xx
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Am truly trying to establish a genuine insight here.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Can you please ask you question in 25 words or less. Thanks. :P
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Two people in a relationship. You have written heaps of stuff about couples stuff. I have read everything since we joined. Because you know your shit with it ? Mado Mado tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have never had a long term fully committed relationship.... For god sake don't ever listen to me!! LMAO!!!!!!! 😝
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I'm always long-winded!! Hahahaha sexy smartass!!
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madotara69
11 years ago
More about the the question that Bigocean is asking about what his relationship would mean to being a couple, the "ethics and acceptance." The profile is already up and running "The couple" Now he is running a pretty good campaign, though he is searching for something to butter it up a bit, or her up.(his partner) Or us up. Which way either or other, He is doing it with a bit of Class, snazzy even. That's where I thought you may come into it Meeka, you are a Classy Lady that has a snazzy way with things. Especially what you may view as acceptable. What do you reckon to the chance these lovebirds, have to being accepted as a couple? Mado
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RHP User
11 years ago
A way a couple is can take many forms. Doesn't matter that they don't live together, or that they are not married or have children. It's the feeling between them that is important. Couples have an emotional bond between them. In group situations you can see the couples that have a deep love for each other.... they are always connected in some way even when in a room of naked bonking people and even if they are bonking other people themselves. You can fell the connection still between them. Some couples will only play with other couples who are in love or in a committed type of relationship because the dynamics between the two in this "couple" is different. There is a bond and a caring between them that changes the dynamics of a group experience. It is totally different to a group of people having sex as single people or even friends with benefits. I don't think there is any issue with the OP having a couples profile. He refers to her as his partner so I assume they are not just bonking buddies. So no issue with going to swingers clubs or sex parties - nobody cares. Lots of couples on RHP may not be too concerned by it either.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Swinges get upset when people say they are a couple then go to clubs and they are not respectful of each other or others at the club, because they just don't get what swinging is about. Mind you that is some couples as well. Alot hinges on peoples behaviours.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Thank you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
You can't hit on me and try to stress/argue that you are single after a post like this. Are you soft in the head or do you just think I am? Maybe you want to act as a couple for swingers things, but outside of them, operate as a single? That's not cool with me! Make up your mind, are you single, or not? Can't be both mate! Am I way out of line here and just don't get the swingers lifestyle, or what?
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madotara69
11 years ago
That's the stuff, in music it is called a "Trained ear". It means one is tuned into the whole Orchestra, Blues n Rock, it is called tuned to a "line up of musicians" and a Drummer. But it is also the sort of stuff that can change the tides, to the nature of things. Its not just Classy, it's the same thing that music is.... Sexy shit. Well that's, in our world, a way of saying as a couple, we (enjoy your lyrics within the music) As to the nature and tide. Things start getting interesting. And respectfully, nothing gets watered down. No grey areas. And Bigocean is getting the conversation called for, and here it comes. Like a Bat out of Hell. (Meatloaf) A trained opera ear and voice, that sung Rock n Roll with Class. You may not be in a committed relationship Meeka, but you know your couples shit. (Sort of like Meatloaf but Pretty). Mado, Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your correct you already have answered that statement, so you would like to argue /stress the point that your a hypocrit and would like to have a domestic on a public forum ?? You have my number , and yes you are soft in the head and oh i hit you up?? Does it take two to tango ?? Or do you just love to blame!!! I recall you sent me a flirt and i told you to have both my socks !!! Put them on your feet so you can sneek around and think no one can see you !!! When i get together with this woman who is single has a life has a job has a family has her own friends and does not want a mundane relationship that is dependant on another!! When we are together we give 100% to each other two single people together partners.! So do you suggest if you want to explore the world you sit in the suit case ??? Or do you call yourself ? "Two singles together would like a set of swings " So you just dont get anything!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
So..... I'm assuming the honeymoon is over then?? :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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him_and_me
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' A way a couple is can take many forms. Doesn't matter that they don't live together, or that they are not married or have children. It's the feeling between them that is important. Couples have an emotional bond between them. I think it's the relationship that defines what I would call a couple. Technically speaking a couple is two. But emotionally a couple is two who care for and about each other, who are comfortable with each other and understand and 'know' each other well (this is not to say that you're not a couple if you only just got together and haven't met his mum yet or don't know what size undies he wears - you're just a new couple). It seems to me a couple as defined above would be very different in a swinging situation than a couple who are simply paired up for other reasons. So to me, as long as the 'depth' is there in the relationship then it shouldn't matter if they live together, are married, have kids etc, although I guess I would probably want to know up front. Indy, the situation you descibe is perhaps a little different in that one of the couple is married. I don't have an issue having sex with a married man (hell, I do it most nights of the week ) even if he's someone else's married man as long as - and this is the important bit - his spouse knows. I know people seek sex outside marriage for lots of different reasons and I'm not going to tell him/her that they can't or that it's wrong, it's just that I wouldn't like to get involved there. It's partly about respect for the unsuspecting spouse and it's partly (and more selfishly) about not wanting to get in trouble should the truth ever surface. There was a 'single' man earlier this year I was chatting to on here who, when we made contact, had divorced on his profile. It turns out he wasn't and while I appreciate that he told me the truth and it was highly unlikely that his spouse would have found out, I couldn't stay in touch. (Oooh! I was mad at him! But that's off topic!!) Gosh, that got a little longer than I expected... but I guess the crux of it is - if the depth is there in the relationship than a wedding band or shared address is not necessary in my eyes. x Me
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RHP User
11 years ago
I get what you mean. It is definitely hard to get your head around some of the concepts. I suppose he is in a long distance relationship but they both play on their own. So no technically he isn't single but he isn't really a couple. I believe this is relationship status is "it's complicated" Lol. But nice communication between you two..... Lol.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Him_and_me... Welcome back As for cravingtouch and bigocean... Well lurk probably hit that nail on the head... 😄 I'm not really comfortable with the idea of people choosing when they are and are not in relationships... appropriate wording for me would be something along the lines of "we are singles who play as a couple with select others..." In my mind that then allows everyone else to decide if they wish to get involved with you... And that was the original question wasn't it ? Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I swear I'm usually not this retarded at communication. I blame the wine ... ... ... OH MY GOD WINE I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT, YOU MAKE ME BETTER *hugs bottle* Lets never fight again, get inside me *gulp*
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I think I love you!! Lol 😍 thank you HimnMe that was perfect and HP thoughtful and considered approach as well ~ Indy, heading off to the wine rack to chill a bottle....
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'him_and_me' I know people seek sex outside marriage for lots of different reasons and I'm not going to tell him/her that they can't or that it's wrong, it's just that I wouldn't like to get involved there. It's partly about respect for the unsuspecting spouse and it's partly (and more selfishly) about not wanting to get in trouble should the truth ever surface. x Me Hi x Me and to him (sorry this is a "part to a body" of a work in progress) You look like the Arty type, "x" Me, looks arty Him To Him or Her, you would all be in the shit in their eyes. "If"(the unsuspecting spouse) had been blamed for the reason. (for playing alone) "as you are all together in "The Brief" when the defence questions the ethics and irony for who may turn out to be a lousy even pathetic lover, and in defence to why they weren't given a pinch of shit with sexual desire at home" And charged then to you as an unwanted useless gift. A sad case, with a double whammy. Not only "knowingly take part in being extremely embarrassed" The sadder point with (meaning to the sex) to that moment, means that you shared your sex with a lousy fucker that could not even satisfy the dearly loved spouse, that "otherwise" may have been a more energetic person sexually frustrated, explosive pent up release, to the tangled mess of exhaustion, whilst in reflection. (not now, no way, eewww) If not to "blame" the "unsuspecting spouse", then it is something taken upon ones self, the reasons owned upon ones self and those reasons have to be left for that one, to chance for the spouse to become aware. And that one, is to own the whole and entirety of it, when the shit hits the fan. You can't be judged, if the player holds the reason established as owning the blame. (to the eyes of the cheated spouse.) You do reserve the right to consider "Knowingly take part with someone that is risking everything at home" if it were to ever surface. Though in fairness, only the player knows the element of what levels those risks are. (some may just get roused on) Him and me. It is a tricky thing, because we have to respect, not only people, people make their own choices. Judgement comes to the honesty with those people, the choice is in their bag. This is a belief, and one that has been soul searching for the answers. Allso the paint has not even dried yet, it's fresh, it is open to faults, and just an expression towards these interests. These interests include and involve some of these good people that share these forums and the lifestyle. Disrespect is the thing to focus to. It shouldn't be shown to people who are honest to us as themselves. (not saying anyone has here) just the idea of it. Thanks, x Me Him and Me Mado Mado Tara xx
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