M63
Cracking the seal.....
January 24 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well...... I think it is because I am too lazy and too shy to just go out and get randoms, whether it be on RHP or in real life. I like to hunt in packs and just wait for my friends to pick up suitable lovers.......... and they I might choose to join in or not. And scarily enough that is so true of me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What so you mean by "But are they productive... Or unproductive in reinforcing your positive attitude?" What positive attitude to do you mean? Attitude to what?
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gazpacho
11 years ago
lmfao... how the fuck should I know Meeka. hehe. I'm the one in therapy! :p HugsGazpacho
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RHP User
11 years ago
Gazzie!! Come on over and I will show you what a positive attitude is.
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RHP User
11 years ago
for a few months. That happens when you have ankle biters and live in the middle of nowhere. I'm not a fan of the 'I'm passing through your town' crowd so I'll just play with my toys and dream about past encounters. I might use the time wisely to design a few new encounters. I'm pretty sure my Vajajay is big enough not to close up in that time so there'll be no seal to break. I may or may not get a bit cranky at the 4 week mark ...
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Gaz.... Mr everywhere lol. The topic is kind of strange. Sex is not easy for everyone to come by. Some seek it too hard, and the stench if desperation kills their endeavours. Others go through a libido hiatus... For any number of reasons, and are stirred back to life by a particularly appealing and capable lover or simply an escape from the every day routine of family life. And then there are those who take a deliberate break from exercising their sexuality for personal reasons. These are called moods, and moods change. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'gazpacho51' The longer they go, the easier it becomes to accept the status quo.... The longer I haven't had sex, the less it is on my mind. This has been helpful when having sex wasn't an option, like in my last long-term relationship that was sexless for the last sixteen months. . Never again though. The amount of great sex I'm having these days has improved my positive attitude towards just about anything, mainly because I'm feeling great about who I am and what I look like. Feeling exceptionally cheerful today after last night's positive ehh... reinforcement.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sounds like you're not getting any.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' I may or may not get a bit cranky at the 4 week mark ... The men may say it's just PMS.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's in a way easy to be in a stage of no sex....for a long time...when family commitments, your ability to look after your little family, suddenly on your own, and thinking to sustain a living, takes over your thinking. You use all sorts of devices (that's why I hate this things now) to make yourself orgasm and lack the touch of another human being....you crave it very much....but cant find the time to invest in this too. Because you have to heal yourself and your children from the trauma of a sudden loss, there is no other place for another male until all this is healed, it is also your fear to hurt the children should you find someone and then it breaks....your thinking and protectiveness is on high alert, you don't think any thing else...its you and your boys. Then comes the time this part is suddenly over and you are free....oh God then comes the time you are FREE, and then you are scared....because you got older,10 years past, and many people tell you, and you read it, you are of the market place now....lol, forget it, you are not sexual nor young anymore. And then boom....some one offers you sex.....and you run, hide, and think" am I stupid not to say yes"....lucky for me he asked me again and this time, slowly I east into the sexual, sensual part of myself again, never to look back. And as you all see, my sensual, sexy part brought me here. Thats how I look most of the time now. Litonya
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RHP User
11 years ago
I went without for 8 years until the seal was broken 18 months ago....and yes the longer I went without the easier it was.I recently took a bit of a blow to my confidence and self esteem and on a conscious level have decided to abstain from sex for now , I just cant put myself out there again atm ..... emotionally cocooned from the inevitable drama that intimacy will bring, and at the same time isolated from the intimacy you crave........ And on a more subconscious level I have convinced myself that I am just "not in the mood" anyway Another 8 years??? God I hope not!!But for me the body and mind have to work together when it comes to sex and for now mine just aren't
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RHP User
11 years ago
I get rejected lots they all say the same dam thing nice guy but ? But what's the but do tell lol... It's been 14 odd months now :( long time between drinks lol but I keep plugging away god knows I've waited long enough lmao... I'd be happy for a friggen hand job using soemone else's hand for a change ;) I think my prob maybe I show to much respect when all she wants is cock ? I just can't seem to get it right lately lol... Any local takers wunna break my drought ;),,
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RHP User
11 years ago
Shit I just read ur post again :( fuk I think I'm a male version of your issue :( I may as well stop now hey
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RHP User
11 years ago
It will pass and soon I hope. You are too good to waste
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hugs and light coming your way x
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RHP User
11 years ago
JayJay of course it won't be another 8 years. And yeah.... sometimes you need a time out to sort your head out. I am exactly the same. I don't really follow the "the best way to get over a man, is it to get under another" thing.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Litonya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' It will pass and soon I hope. You are too good to waste Bouncing her ball of mojo and hoping it kicks in by next weekend
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' It will pass and soon I hope. You are too good to waste Quoting 'Meander' Hugs and light coming your way x Quoting 'Meeka100' JayJay of course it won't be another 8 years. And yeah.... sometimes you need a time out to sort your head out. I am exactly the same. I don't really follow the "the best way to get over a man, is it to get under another" thing. I luv u ladies
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Litonya' Then comes the time this part is suddenly over and you are free....oh God then comes the time you are FREE, and then you are scared....because you got older,10 years past, and many people tell you, and you read it, you are of the market place now....lol, forget it, you are not sexual nor young anymore. And then boom....some one offers you sex.....and you run, hide, and think" am I stupid not to say yes"....lucky for me he asked me again and this time, slowly I east into the sexual, sensual part of myself again, never to look back. I could have written that. Glad you found your sexy self too.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'paint_me' I may or may not get a bit cranky at the 4 week mark ... The men may say it's just PMS. Bugger, I'll have to think of something else then........
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is it not a case of the same old same old, day in day out. A change is as good as a holiday, from constant fucking, or not fucking. Groundhog day trapped in your favorite porno movie, or stuck at the Xmas family dinner. Both will bring on the hope for the welcome relief of death given time.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think it like the old saying use it or you lose it !! Or any good or bad habit , Its all in your mind you can make yourself be who ever you want what ever you want whenever you want ?? And remember i said "you can make yourself" So what any body else thinks or sees about you is erelevent !! So people who have stopped sex or intamacy for a long period stopped for a reason and there are many reasons ??? That breaking the habit or the craving or the desire or the need they fight is mentally tough and draining of energy , but once a person has broken this habit or need do they deep down still want ?? Maybe ?? Who knows only the individual !! So we are all pretty damn good at making excuses or blaming or just pushing away hiding behind !! so we make excuses why we dont do this any more !!! Go on ask anybody why dont you???? Most will have a complex reason !! But basically when you stop having anything in life your need for it vanishes or is pushed deeper so you cannot see it everyday but its there !!!! Once you dont have you dont want !! Or so you tell yourself its easier?? Well thats a cop out and not positive and lacking motivation or fear so many emotions make a simple answer to our simple life so not simple !!! And i think the harder you look the less you see , the less you see the more anxious you become the more anxious your are the more frustrated you get the more frustrated you have become the more useless it seems the more useless it seems the more negative you are the more negative you are you become desperate when your desperate you dont care when you dont care you do stupid things and stupid things can be very dangerous!!!! And all of a sudden you are not you doing things you would never do taking risks you would never take you are a different person !!! This is not necassarily. Bad this can also be great could be a new learning of ones self new boundaries new adventures lead to new people lead to a new you!! So in the case of use it dont lose it or keeping it moist ?? I think you just have to be happy and satisfied so you dont get stuck in the mud so to speak !!! So go out have a damn good fuck be happy with that you can then do something else you would like to do or been putting off !! Instead of worrying allday and night get out the get it wet use it and abuse it and enjoy it. And guess what when we are satisfied we dont look so hard so we dont worry and when you dont worry we become happy when we are happy with ourselves ?? Bingo every thing you ever dreamt of is in the palm of your hand !!! our choices our destiny our life simple really ! Hahaha yeah rite ppffttt!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Before RHP, I had not had sex for three years. Your right, the longer you go, the easier it gets.I am on the same path again. Four months and counting. Its just circumstance I guess, where I live now I cannot host. I also had my art studio before and that is where some sexy fucker seduced me and broke the three year drought. I don't like to be intimate at all. Sex for me has no emotional connection. I hate to date, and though back with my husband after 12 years divorced, I never did the date thing. I would rather do the fuck thing any day. A guy can get into my pants, just not under my skin.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Litonya' It's in a way easy to be in a stage of no sex....for a long time...when family commitments, your ability to look after your little family, suddenly on your own, and thinking to sustain a living, takes over your thinking. You use all sorts of devices (that's why I hate this things now) to make yourself orgasm and lack the touch of another human being....you crave it very much....but cant find the time to invest in this too. Because you have to heal yourself and your children from the trauma of a sudden loss, there is no other place for another male until all this is healed, it is also your fear to hurt the children should you find someone and then it breaks....your thinking and protectiveness is on high alert, you don't think any thing else...its you and your boys. Then comes the time this part is suddenly over and you are free....oh God then comes the time you are FREE, and then you are scared....because you got older,10 years past, and many people tell you, and you read it, you are of the market place now....lol, forget it, you are not sexual nor young anymore. And then boom....some one offers you sex.....and you run, hide, and think" am I stupid not to say yes"....lucky for me he asked me again and this time, slowly I east into the sexual, sensual part of myself again, never to look back. And as you all see, my sensual, sexy part brought me here. Thats how I look most of the time now. Litonya one of the most beautiful, sensual, women I have ever met. You know what you want, but there is still that shyness there. Cant wait for you to come visit me again. No tall beds for you short arse lol.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have you been sharing the pipe with Mado?
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' Have you been sharing the pipe with Mado? Big O made perfect sense and is finding his inner self and enjoying it. Show us your boobies, and the black and red is dazzlingly erotic, fuck you are a sexy woman paint me. Looks like you said it too yourself sort of. Another glass of wine perhaps, a relaxing evening, like your girlfriends. Mado Mado tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think random occasional encounters during "dry spells" are a good idea, reminds you that you still have a sexual side and keeps you sharp, not that there's any forgetting how to ride a bike, but being able to stand on the handlebars needs more than just muscle memory, if you know what I mean. The danger is when those random encounters go wrong, I think you're (especially) vulnerable to self-esteem damage when you're feeling unloved and untouched. The decision to accept that random encounter that's fallen into your neglected lap should come down to your headspace and how capable you are of withstanding potential disaster. Life rules = No risk? No reward. So, my clearly wise and sought after advice is: Keep your head screwed on and get yourself screwed.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Kinda makes me think of the relief one feels when able to take a much needed slash lol :) What?? Sometimes......it's better than sex lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
My life was a bit messy and I didn't want to bring anyone into it, no matter how casual, because I didn't want to be a burden on them in any way. Now that things are very very different I'm more confident which leads to more opportunity to meet great people. The ebb and flow of ones life is absolutely fascinating
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RHP User
11 years ago
Randoms are whatever you want them to be, if you go into a random encounter with a positive mindset, it's going to be positive. Personally I'm not really into randoms for a number of reasons but there are times when an ego boost (yay she wants me, even though I'm down on confidence or mojo) is just what the doctor ordered to help make a change.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The danger is when those random encounters go wrong, I think you're (especially) vulnerable to self-esteem damage when you're feeling unloved and untouched. Completely agree with this....this is my issue at the moment - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
For me personally, I think you need to have the right head space to have random enoucters or even the whole online dating thing. Because if you are not mentally strong it can really fuck you up more. I think anyway. Having random sex or casual sex with people can get you down even more if you are doing it for the wrong reasons. It can't change a "negative" attitude into a positive one. Can it??
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RHP User
11 years ago
but i did pay attention when they said that two negatives will never equal a positive. Even when one comes from a positive place, if the other comes from a negative place you'll always get a negative experience. Wait it out Jajay, draw your positive energy from other places and your mojo will return. xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' For me personally, I think you need to have the right head space to have random enoucters or even the whole online dating thing. Because if you are not mentally strong it can really fuck you up more. I think anyway. Having random sex or casual sex with people can get you down even more if you are doing it for the wrong reasons. It can't change a "negative" attitude into a positive one. Can it?? Have had this discussion many times and gotten my arse kicked over it by some dear friends!!a lot of the time I have been doing it for the wrong reasonsAfter being abstinent for so long I guess I keep using the excuse that I have a lot to make up for!!I constantly crave the physical affection which I know is often not found with random encounters and can often leave me feeling worse.Most of the time I am in the right head space but we all have times when we are feeling vulnerable and sensitive and I just need to learn that at those times random sex is not the answer !
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RHP User
11 years ago
I went for 2 years without sex as an exploration into abstinence as a valid take on sexuality. No masturbation, no cumming at all. As a result, conversely, or inversely, I felt completely sexually liberated. The sexual imagery and focus in advertising, music and culture held no sway with me and I was blissfully undistracted by it all, and put my energies into really enjoying life and all it had to offer me. I felt frictionless, slipstreaming. It was a great exercise in celebrating me, and building my sense of self and who I was in the world. I did another 2 year stint later in life, this time as a result of having life and love go awry, and to clear my head and reassess what it was that I wanted. It was like Purgatory, horrible, and I swore the whole way through until I had built back up my feelings of self worth and was ready to seek another partner. Both times, breaking the seal, I had an intermediate partner before I stabilized into developing a valuable relationship with someone special. Overall, I think it's really healthy to take a break from things when it's needed.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I have to learn this not getting under your skin bit.....next class is? And I'm sorry your studio is gone, uncertain what to say about your hubby when mine is convinced we'll be together again around 80yo (gentle smile). I've been without by choice for up to 2yrs, being a single mum, shyness, life just takes priority and other reasons. I think sometimes it's easier to go without esoecially when your body becomes conditioned to a schedule and when that schedule ceases your body aches and rebels.....it's that ache that hurts so you close yourself off and abstain again. Yes believe it or not gentlemen women can't just go out and "pick up a root". We suffer the same as you do......at times.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'JayJay_66' The danger is when those random encounters go wrong, I think you're (especially) vulnerable to self-esteem damage when you're feeling unloved and untouched. Completely agree with this....this is my issue at the moment - Posted from rhpmobile So sorry to hear that *hugs*! Treat yourself carefully, as carefully as you would someone else. That's a concept that takes a lot to achieve for a lifelong habitual people-pleaser, and something I'm slowly fumbling towards myself. Take the time you need, but remember, if you're closed to opportunities, they will pass you by, but more are always coming, that's the beauty of life. You just need the strength to be open, which you have already proven you can do. That time will come again for you, as it will for me and anyone else out there struggling with this.
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gazpacho
11 years ago
Quoting 'JayJay_66' The danger is when those random encounters go wrong, I think you're (especially) vulnerable to self-esteem damage when you're feeling unloved and untouched. Completely agree with this....this is my issue at the moment - Posted from rhpmobile Whilst I agree entirely, with your premise, I wonder what reaction is generated from you... I mean, I kind of guess you err on the side of caution, whereas In those circumstances I would most certainly work on the numbers to increase my chances of getting me whatever it was I thought I was was looking for.... or alternatively getting myself to the point where I've fucked so long that I'm so totally exhausted that it just doesn't matter any more. I'm not sure that helps though it does make sleeping easier. HugsGazpacho
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gazpacho
11 years ago
Quoting 'Bigocean72' I think it like the old saying use it or you lose it !! Or any good or bad habit , Its all in your mind you can make yourself be who ever you want what ever you want whenever you want ?? And remember i said "you can make yourself" So what any body else thinks or sees about you is erelevent !! So people who have stopped sex or intamacy for a long period stopped for a reason and there are many reasons ??? That breaking the habit or the craving or the desire or the need they fight is mentally tough and draining of energy , but once a person has broken this habit or need do they deep down still want ?? Maybe ?? Who knows only the individual !! So we are all pretty damn good at making excuses or blaming or just pushing away hiding behind !! so we make excuses why we dont do this any more !!! Go on ask anybody why dont you???? Most will have a complex reason !! But basically when you stop having anything in life your need for it vanishes or is pushed deeper so you cannot see it everyday but its there !!!! Once you dont have you dont want !! Or so you tell yourself its easier?? Well thats a cop out and not positive and lacking motivation or fear so many emotions make a simple answer to our simple life so not simple !!! And i think the harder you look the less you see , the less you see the more anxious you become the more anxious your are the more frustrated you get the more frustrated you have become the more useless it seems the more useless it seems the more negative you are the more negative you are you become desperate when your desperate you dont care when you dont care you do stupid things and stupid things can be very dangerous!!!! And all of a sudden you are not you doing things you would never do taking risks you would never take you are a different person !!! This is not necassarily. Bad this can also be great could be a new learning of ones self new boundaries new adventures lead to new people lead to a new you!! So in the case of use it dont lose it or keeping it moist ?? I think you just have to be happy and satisfied so you dont get stuck in the mud so to speak !!! So go out have a damn good fuck be happy with that you can then do something else you would like to do or been putting off !! Instead of worrying allday and night get out the get it wet use it and abuse it and enjoy it. And guess what when we are satisfied we dont look so hard so we dont worry and when you dont worry we become happy when we are happy with ourselves ?? Bingo every thing you ever dreamt of is in the palm of your hand !!! our choices our destiny our life simple really ! Hahaha yeah rite ppffttt!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Posted from rhpmobile You have a wealth of empathy, mate. Blokes like you are few and far between. HugsGazpacho
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'gazpacho51' Quoting 'JayJay_66' The danger is when those random encounters go wrong, I think you're (especially) vulnerable to self-esteem damage when you're feeling unloved and untouched. Completely agree with this....this is my issue at the moment - Posted from rhpmobile Whilst I agree entirely, with your premise, I wonder what reaction is generated from you... I mean, I kind of guess you err on the side of caution, whereas In those circumstances I would most certainly work on the numbers to increase my chances of getting me whatever it was I thought I was was looking for.... or alternatively getting myself to the point where I've fucked so long that I'm so totally exhausted that it just doesn't matter any more. I'm not sure that helps though it does make sleeping easier. HugsGazpacho I've fucked so long that I'm so totally exhausted that it just doesn't matter any more Tried that.....do you know how sore the vajayjay gets after hours of fucking
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Missb4u
11 years ago
12 months at the end of a sexless relationship and then 2 years on my own rebuilding. I didn't even really think about sex once the man was gone from my life, while he was still in it I found it incredibly frustrating cause it was right there and I couldn't have it. For those 2 years I say I walked with my head down my thoughts tuned to my kids and not much else. I don't think I would have even recognised the signs if someone had tried to hit on me I was so focused on rebuilding myself and finding myself and keeping my shit together for the kids so it was as easy as possible for them. This was the second major relationship breakdown they had been through the first being my marriage to their father. Then one day a chance conversation with a friend, her saying she just wanted to have good sex for a while had me asking questions and I learnt of RHP. Now from my time here I can say that random encounters have their place, to scratch an itch, but you must go in with a healthy attitude and no expectation and sometimes they are quite liberating. If you are looking for positive reinforcement though I don't think this a good way to get it, I think it will in fact work against you and destroy any confidence or feelings of self worth you did have. They ultimately are soulless encounters with no emotional connection.
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RHP User
11 years ago
give me a little step and I can get in any bed lolol I slept like a baby, after you undressed me, put me under the shower and put me to bed.lololol any time my Darling any time I sleep over.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Mr pacho im blushing !! Thank you for your kind words and if i was gay or bi i would like to fuck you mate hahaha !!! But im not ! So maybe we can just have a beer oneday? Australias not that big;-)) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Let go of the people (memories of people) who couldn't/haven't satisfied you ... move on to the better things ;) you deserve better = my moto ;)
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gazpacho
11 years ago
Lmfao... Mine was a non sexual flirt, but now that I think about it, I almost referred to you as B.O. And that idea did give me a bit of a twitch. :p Hugs Gazpacho
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have always liked sex... a lot... haha. but through 2012 I think I even out sexed myself, countless nameless encounters, and I was loving it. Had an absolute blast and do not regret a single one, but started a new job, new priorities, started getting busier and busier, and before I knew it, it had been about 10 months since I got laid! WTF was I going to do about it? So, I decided I was going to wait until someone I actually had a connection with came along, be it a new or past lover. I waited, and waited and no connection... finally I put myself out there and met this AMAZING guy, only to find he had a girl friend. But, my god, the connection was enough to moisten every part of me... and what do you know, libido is back baby, with a fkn vengeance!!!!! and that amazing guy, well... he is now a good friend, meh, friend zoned but whatever. lol Only took 12months, but got back in the game and going to enjoy it while it lasts!
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gazpacho
11 years ago
I love stories like that, nymphie. It warms me to the bones knowing that people are out there sexing it up for the sake of sheer enjoyment, rather than using sex as some kind of carrot on a stick, or intellectual pursuit, and sullying it's therapeutic nature. I also love your uninhibited approach. Very refreshing attitude... and yes, other pursuits do interfere. It's good to get back to your baseline heartbeat though isn't it, after an intense and stressful period of concentrating elsewhere. HugsGazpacho
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
I just love having sex with Mr Cheeky now and always have! I have no real desire to be with another man as I am only comfortable with Mr Cheeky and him seeing my body etc! In a group situation I would still participate and in a ffm.... I found I am more interested in gaining friends without the sex these days
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
I just love having sex with Mr Cheeky now and always have! I have no real desire to be with another man as I am only comfortable with Mr Cheeky and him seeing my body etc! In a group situation I would still participate and in a ffm.... I found I am more interested in gaining friends without the sex these days
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