F55
Curious about chatters who dont meet
June 01 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am in a situation where it is not easy to make time to meet people, so when I can arrange something, I like to think that person is going to actually be there? I have had one guy not turn up with no explanation at all, after weeks of chatting and texting. Myself, I am guilty of one occasion where I met someone a bit the worse for wear as I had been out with friends for a few drinks beforehand, which wasnt very respectful, but it had only been arranged that evening and not pre arranged weeks before. I have been to a RHP meet and greet, which was a great night, but I do tell RHPers who message me that it takes a bit of sorting out to actually meet up. I think the guys who talk for weeks and are keen to meet but dont turn up are often those with "single" as their status but are actually attached.
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barryo
11 years ago
I hate this when it happens. Only thing is it would be nice just to get an invitation. None so far. If I got one I would certainly go.
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RHP User
11 years ago
but I think there are people who are confident enough to just get out there, then there are others who are shy and have good intentions then chicken out, probably feel guilty about it too. I don't read too much into it, I would normally give people a few chances if I think they have been honest about things popping up because I know life can be hectic but if people don't even let me know and stand me up, I have very little tolerance and am probably likely to have a go about it because I think that is just rude. Some excuses I have had are work and kids - 2 excuses that are hard to hold against anyone. Overall I would say I have met too many people but I enjoy meeting people and feel I could miss out on finding someone perfect for me if I don't put myself out there, you never know who you will click with in person.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do accept that the most recent could possibly be a honest reason as to why he couldn't meet. I also brought this up as was also a problem for others recently too. I guess you have to be reliable and also realise that there are reasons why people cant meet. But hey don't forget your manners and say sorry to muck you around and please give me another opportunity to meet maybe.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yeah im sick of the run around , Sending mesages , send pics & so on , then a no show but to then be blocked ! Un cool - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yep it happening to me Ms_silk,exaclly how you have laid it out,with one member in particular. After numerous messages and flirts (contact was instigated by her) over a few weeks,theres a time and a date set and then nothing,then it starts all over again.What do you do? get off the merry go round or stay on?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't like messaging for more than a few days. I only know if there's a real connection when I meet someone, so talking for too long and then feeling no chemistry is a bit of a waste of time for me personally. I think the worst excuse was a death in the family with the guy later saying he had been unable to contact me for a whole week because of the circumstances. Too bad I had seen him online everyday, so I declined his request for a second chance.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Experience that I have had was from a man who told me that his best friend had been killed in a car crash and that he had to look after the family........I heard nothing from him for at least a year,when I asked him about how the family was coping he denied all knowledge,said it wasn't him,hadn't happened.....but my memory is like a pachyderm's:-) xxQ
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Seachange
11 years ago
that happened to me a couple weeks ago with this guy here. Bombarded me with messages and texts before hand. First time it happened to me. He was so keen to meet. A couple of hours before the meet, I texted him to confirm so I dont have to leave work early, and he replied he can't make it. "Something came up". That was it, no reason. Lol. That will be my last foray with young men as I found that the mature men (35+) are better at keeping their word and more courageous to meet. all good and another learning experience.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_silk'You chat and text for a couple of weeks and there is talk of meeting. I think it's safe to say that if the online chat has been going for two weeks, there's very little chance of meeting. Personally I wouldn't be throwing messages back and forth with a person I thought I would like to meet. My approach is: chat for a day or two, then talk on the phone, then meet. If it hasn't progressed for two weeks, chances are (he/she) is just not that into (her/him).
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tamworthguy46
11 years ago
Yes Shure things happen sometimes, where people can't turn up.....and a message a hour before can be quite a let down, depends on the reasons I suppose......the sorry I have decided that I don't want to meet you anymore at the last min piss me off ! like you could have told me that yesterday, instead of telling me how much you were looking foreword to it !...... I have never had a outrageous reason, like a plane crash though. lol lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've had a bad run lately with guys that text and don't meet, luckily I've not been stood up, but the communication stops the day before or the day of the meet. It's very frustrating and a huge let down. I think that they get a kick out of living vicariously and seeing how many photo's they can scam or they just don't have the balls to follow through.
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Seachange
11 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta2' Experience that I have had was from a man who told me that his best friend had been killed in a car crash and that he had to look after the family........I heard nothing from him for at least a year,when I asked him about how the family was coping he denied all knowledge,said it wasn't him,hadn't happened.....but my memory is like a pachyderm's:-) xxQLol. Some people get caught in their web of lies and forget we remember. Lol. I had a guy here like that and he emailed, texted and called up for a meet. We agreed on a drinks meet only for one Saturday but to confirm by Friday. He didnt call so I made other arrangement with another man. He then texted a few days later had the flu or something. Fair enough. A few months later, he sends me an email and wanting to meet in the weekend. I reminded him am not keen as he reneged on the last one. he denied it was him. Hmmm... For me, the moment was gone. And so many other quality fish in the ocean.
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precious142
11 years ago
I could and would have written the first three lines of your post myself..........how very true!I have been guilty of doing a last minute no show but for work reasons but always always give as much cancellation notice as I can.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I moved into a new house at Easter and during the move, I had a accident resulting in me requiring a total knee reconstruction. While in hospital I also caught bronchitis. To say that I have been as sick a dog is a understatement and I'm still hobbling around on crutches and have a the sexiest hacking cough...NOT. Due to being forced to rest, I've been more active on RHP to pass the time. Naturally I'm chatting to a few. Most of these lovely guys have been quite understanding of my situation and the ones that matter, I have rung, so they can hear my husky voice drowning in phlegm and I'm sure when I'm a 100 percent recuperated, things will progress :-) But I've been accused of faking it and putting off meetings etc. I say to you guys "Come say that to my face after you have had a full knee construction, I can't begin to tell you what that injury and surgery pain factor is like. Lets say 15/10 and top it off with a bronchitis, well lets see how indisposed you may be". Going to the local milkbar is a major expedition. So yes at present I guess I'm a keyboard warrior but here's the thing, it also allows you time to weed through the muppets and wankers, out there and I've been fortunate to come across one whose been very patient with my ailments and when I'm good to go, I'm sure we will be good to go. We have been texting and chatting on the phone to keep in touch and we will move on. There is never a excuse for bad manners, but people are rude every day in every way, c'est la vie, just don't lower yourself to their standards and always conduct yourself with grace and decorum. As Witty said Do you stay on the merry go around or get off ? Your choice always in all things. But if you stay on, you may meet someone awesome.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I cant get petrol.... LOLOLOLOL
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'witty05' Yep it happening to me Ms_silk,exaclly how you have laid it out,with one member in particular. After numerous messages and flirts (contact was instigated by her) over a few weeks,theres a time and a date set and then nothing,then it starts all over again.What do you do? get off the merry go round or stay on? Stay on as there are some great people to meet, just take some time for self preservation. I think we all get a little disgruntled and ask ourselves is it worth staying here. I think so most of the time and I do enjoy the forums and I have some great friends here as well. Chin up when you met a great friend or lover it will have been worth it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'witty05' Yep it happening to me Ms_silk,exaclly how you have laid it out,with one member in particular. After numerous messages and flirts (contact was instigated by her) over a few weeks,theres a time and a date set and then nothing,then it starts all over again.What do you do? get off the merry go round or stay on? Stay on as there are some great people to meet, just take some time for self preservation. I think we all get a little disgruntled and ask ourselves is it worth staying here. I think so most of the time and I do enjoy the forums and I have some great friends here as well. Chin up when you met a great friend or lover it will have been worth it.
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Antzy
11 years ago
With any dating site whether it be a sex site such as RHP or a vanilla site, the fact remains that there are many options and getting a better offer prior to meeting is more likely to be the case of 'no shows'. It's hard to establish any form of relationship if you have other/many options :(.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm surprised it happens so much,more so to the ladys.Some good points and opinions through out all post,so i think i will stay on for the ride a little longer and see where it goes. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
We had to back out at the last minute very recently. Situation change and illness which was unavoidable. Organizing to meet other couples can proove to be tricky but worth it. When I was seeing people as a single I made it very clear about my situation and availabilty. Most guys and couples were pretty good about it but yes can be frustrating to all involved. Ms S. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
yes they should but alot dont
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RHP User
11 years ago
It was Diesel!! lol And there was a shortage haha
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RHP User
11 years ago
You'll never never know if you never never go! Silva
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some people may be married with a single person profile on here.... a few people have told me they have had that happen to them.I assume some people are just shy and find it difficult to meet. As for me i am meeting, going for coffee or dinner , im going drinks night ,im twerking on the dance floor.I have met some great people on here ,and you dont have to sleep with someone if you meet them.Think alot of people assume you have to have sex if you meet! Drinks night are the best way to meet heaps of people in a safe environment !the QLD drinks night is on this week and all i can say is if your a Queenslander get you ass to the pub and meet some cool cats! And if you wanna meet me lets grab some coffee or a bite to eat and have a laugh !Sorry just had to get a free plug in
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Seachange
11 years ago
Quoting 'Jellyb' I cant get petrol.... LOLOLOLOL now that is just gold!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
My take is that someone cancels on you then they helped you understand them... that you don't want to know them! Yes I understand things change in life, like illness, children, random events and so on. I have had to reschedule at short notice on one occasion due to a health issue. But I apologised and rescheduled, and luckily someone gave me the benefit of the doubt on that occasion. Generally the one who cancels is responsible for contact to reschedule. I am also happy to give them benefit of the doubt but if someone chooses to avoid communication or meeting then its an indication it's not someone I want to know. Jay
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RHP User
11 years ago
"Mate, can I borrow your axe please?"I replied... "Mate me old mum is making scones..."he is like... "Wtf is that reply?" and I go.. "It's a fckn NO mate.. and one excuse is as good as another!!"
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DynamicCouple36
11 years ago
There are many "couples" on here that end up being just the male half which is why there are so many no shows and excuses when the time comes to meet. It's best to only deal with verified profiles and, if meeting with a couple, to speak with both of them telephonically beforehand. We have met with 4 couples from here since joining just over a year ago. Drinks and dinner. It has been fun. So far there have been no " no shows". We however do get plenty of messages requesting meets, but it's become very easy to spot the fakes and trolls by what they say, their profile wording and photos. Sometimes it's best to just go to a party or club as then you get what you see and no one is hiding behind profiles in cyberspace. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I went on a date last night only because I had said I would. That didn't work either ;-)
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On_Safari
11 years ago
This weekend is looking like a pearler!! And agree on the posts.....I'm over incessant txtg or chatting. Apart from the fact I'm incredibly discerning in the first place IF I extend/accept an invitation to meet to ascertain friendship or other than I expect you to meet me even if you are married/attached/other. It's not rocket science and as Kizza said there certainly is NO EXPECTATION of sex from this little Wayward Angel that's for damn sure!!! The worst excuses I've had, My sister's son passed away, we rescheduled 2 wks later and his Father passed away.....he wanted to reschedule and I simply said "I don't think that's wise dear, you might pass away 😳". Again I think having a finely tuned bullshit meter works here too. Lastly if I've agreed to give you an audience you best take advantage, it's not everyday anyone gets the opportunity to meet me with a potential to engage with me. And yes I am worth it! Lol
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
I often pull out of meets just before I am meant to be there.. And I know I have upset people. But I am a real profile and I don't make up excuses, or have a better offer. I am genuinely time poor and have a lot of people in my life relying on me at the moment, which is why I am on here. If I say I want to meet someone.. I do want to meet them, sometimes it just takes a lot of patience. Xxviolet
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RHP User
11 years ago
That the people who are the regular no show's wouldn't even know how to find the forums or use the website fully. Its a tough skin world we have to live in but its life and its always worth it no matter what. thanks for all the responses Oh and to the one whom message me and ask where u refering to me. As you know now it wasn't and I appreciated your honesty and still do.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I never plugged Indy
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JT009
11 years ago
I have found I get cut before I even get to make a date. Usually I chat to someone for a week or so, then ask for a date. "so you seem fun how about coffee, dinner, lunch..." and then it is like I've mortally offended them. I get the total cold shoulder. No idea why, but then I read things on forums like this talking about no shows and I wonder too ifthere not single or something similar? and ideas?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Was wondering if your reference was to me and if so I am very much single. So not being dishonest and my decision not to go ahead and organise a meet with you was based on a few simple questions that you could not answer. So please understand we all cant be suitable with everyone with come into contact with in here. I hope you have better luck in the future.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's hard to say if one is real about meeting as most have kids and some have partners ? It's a case of mutual timing to meet up for the first interview :)
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JT009
11 years ago
No MsSilk not referring to you specifically. This has happened to me on RHP, Tinder, and one other site. I seem to be getting along really well with a lady, and then I ask for a date, and its immediate total shutdown. If it happened 50% or 75% of the time I could understand that, but 100% makes me wonder what it is im doing wrong?
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RHP User
11 years ago
If I have arranged a meet it means I am 95% guaranteed you'll get sex. I am not in to this "let's meet for 3 hours of drink first". I have a husband and a boyfriend (who is so yummy) I don't need another relationship. I am here for a fuck and that's just what I want. I don't want to delve in to your life or vice versa. I did giggle on one of my threesome meets I arranged with a RHP guy a few years ago. I was with a RHP in a hotel room on a lazy Saturday afternoon and he wanted a threesome so he got online at RHP and invited a guy over. He was all gung ho and then we got a call where he said he wasn't coming as arranged. Ok... nothing we could do. About half an hour later, we get another call with him saying he was at the hotel and could I come out so he could see what I looked like. I did as we were having 'intermission' at that moment and getting a bite to eat in the restaurant. When I came out he looked me up and down and said. "ppplllllleasssse... I've re-considered!!!" The moment had been lost. I told him sorry..."you snooze you lose" and I had arranged another guy!!! I was mean.
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Seachange
11 years ago
Lol. Love your story. thanks for sharing. some people just don't know a good thing when they see one.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's quite easy to spot the I might from the I will. Kids and work excuses aside most just never reply or show up online again. - Posted from rhpmobile
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twodare
11 years ago
We're a couple and would be happy to meet people, we usually get to know them first chatting . . but chat isnt the focus (it's not some way of batting off etc) . . we're genuinely wanting to meet people, but good to talk first.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have been stood up multiple times - every time they have not let me know that they were not turning up.. One of which I had been chatting and camming with for a year and I finally went to visit family near her so organised it all - 3 nights in a hotel and communication stopped when I landed on the tarmac - in the end it was a nice break but was a horrible experience... Budda
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
I am a big believer in mystery, and intrigue. An inability to meet someone I find particularly intriguing...... through circumstance..... builds upon that intrigue as our communications continue. When we meet, we will know more of eachother than we would otherwise have done. And Im looking forward to that day. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
So far I've been lucky. I've never had a no show. Although not every meet has a 'happy' ending, I've made some great friends :). I would love to go to a meet and greet but have been to shy thus far :/ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's all I'm on here for is sex so if any lady's want that hit me a message - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've had a cple but they have not even had the decency to say they could not make it, just no shows and then come home to find the have blocked me. Is a big kick in the guts, been left in the lurch like that but also probably for the best as it shows their true colours. I'm naturaly shy and my time so hard to organise so actually meeting somone takes some doing on my part. To not even be bothered to say "hey I can't make it" is just rude and hurtful.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was chatting to a person on here for weeks and weeks earlier this yr. Was ready to meet, in Melb and back here in Perth, and by accident read a post in a forum by a woman whom mentioned she too had been chatting to same guy, and they had meet and she wanted further meets. I stopped the communication there and then with him. Of course he had not told me of this meet, and I was pretty annoyed that he gave the impression he was keen to meet me, but #2 woman in the back ground, nay, was not going there. Seemed he could be a bit of a player, and I have been there, done that "player" thing so was not going there again. I was until recently very time poor and sometimes arranging a meet is/was difficult.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am a person I need the chatter talk first, even I chat with men on here quite a lot, I still have to concentrate on one at the time. Like, I will meet someone next weekend....it will be quite a challenge for him to come because I have no license at the moment and found out he either....lol so we are both in the same situation.....he will have to make the trip to my place. I have no idea at the moment whether we will be attracted to each other in person....but I think as some say nothing gained nothing ventured. Because I am positive even when sex will not happen I med a nice person.....and we had a great evening. So then in all this time between the meet, I could meet other men but I don't want to.....it will only take me out of my bubble I created with this one.....and I like a bit of magic. Should he not turn up, then I am a bit sad....however never downright unhappy.....I am looking at it as this, the stronger person s me and he is a pussycat......so a pussycat as a man is not for me anyway. So have I lost anything.....no I haven't. Shit what did I wanted to say with all this. ohh See in all this time of me concentrating on this male.....I am still chatting to others, but will not meet them.....and some will not be happy when I say this and most likely think I am playing coy or what ever you call it. I am not,I am just me, a feeling human....and not a machine with a on and off button. I have never stood anybody up, even it has happened to me, I will never be so mean and do this to a person......when I said yes to....I stay to my word......and should I really in the last minute had to say no......I think I would feel the shittiest person in the world. L
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MatureDale2013' I was chatting to a person on here for weeks and weeks earlier this yr. Was ready to meet, in Melb and back here in Perth, and by accident read a post in a forum by a woman whom mentioned she too had been chatting to same guy, and they had meet and she wanted further meets. I stopped the communication there and then with him. Of course he had not told me of this meet, and I was pretty annoyed that he gave the impression he was keen to meet me, but #2 woman in the back ground, nay, was not going there. Seemed he could be a bit of a player, and I have been there, done that "player" thing so was not going there again. I was until recently very time poor and sometimes arranging a meet is/was difficult. I wouldn't expect that anyone I was chatting to on here or planning to meet was doing so with any sort of exclusivity. If that's what you're after, you'd need to be very upfront about that, but I reckon you'll find you're in a very small minority. Most people are surely on here to stretch their wings, not clip them. That doesn't necessarily make them players. If they lie to you or mess you around and try to charm their way out of it, then sure, brand them with the player iron, but if they're just meeting multiple people, well, that's the nature of RHP. As for the original post, I do think there are some people on here, both men and women, who are in it for the online fantasy, but are not actually planning to meet up. The fantasy, unfortunately, involves all the trappings of meeting up, except actually doing so. I've not been stood up on a meet, but I recently had a very promising message exchange where her final message was "where and when?" only to have my response left unopened and gathering dust. That's obviously nowhere near as frustrating as being stood up, but it's still disappointing.
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RHP User
11 years ago
There is a Name and Shame List, with all the Standup Merchants names on it. They are "Friend" and "P/G" collectors, with Money to Burn, and Our Time to Waste. There is a Place for them, it's called, "HELL"
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RHP User
11 years ago
You're so right, I don't think rhp and exclusivity generally go hand in hand :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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jummy
11 years ago
I was to meet a lady last friday. I waited for 1hr then got the tex wont be there got cold feet sorry xxx .l text back thanks.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mr_Mrs_Stig' There is a Name and Shame List, with all the Standup Merchants names on it. They are "Friend" and "P/G" collectors, with Money to Burn, and Our Time to Waste. There is a Place for them, it's called, "HELL"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Where?
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RHP User
11 years ago
And you're OUT! S'nP
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've had it happen to me. A lady seemed very keen to meet. We were you texting quite a bit and she'd be initiate a meet then at the last minute had to cancel as something came up. No worries didn't think much of it. Didn't hear from her for a week or two then contacts me to arrange another meet. Then before cancels again. The third time she tries to arrange I just said thanks but no thanks I've lost interest now not interested in being stuffed around. Shame I was looking forward to having possible fun :-(
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twowithnolimits
11 years ago
suspect everyone has had the let downs from here, even going the coffee meet and greet route doesn't guarantee anything... where its single guys there are two probables, one they get all excited and shoot their load before they even leave home and loose interest, or they keep 10 options open and simply go with the nearest/easiest/best response they get...it is also possible of course that they are not single at all (laughing, its highly probable they are not!!) with couples it can be family stuff but a big factor is that one partner is more into the idea than the other, they do the driving then the other partner does the cold feet... if you haven't been stood up you haven't been playing enough!! P&N
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RHP User
11 years ago
Never in my wildest dreams would I expect to be executive, these days I just chat and get a better vibe - then meet. No stand ups can happen that way. Saves disappointment in the long run.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was chatting what seemed a lovely guy that had so much in common with me on this site whom made plans to meet up twice. Both times which he suggested didn't happen (he always had what seemed a very valid reason) but he continued to be very keen & loving & even making plans for more than just a hookup more for a possible future. This went on for 5 months. He is a premium plus member but supposedly not chatting or hooking up with anyone else but he appears to be online frequently. Why bullshit like this? This guy was the one that wanted more & when I eventually told him I had started chatting to someone else wouldn't respond any longer. Why the hell not be upfront & say you wanted to hook up with numerous ppl instead of bullshitting about it if that was the case. Be upfront & let ppl make informed choices instead of playing nasty games should be the rule.
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RHP User
11 years ago
For those out there that this guy may be playing & being dishonest with I am sure you would recognise the' mwah mwah mwah' he txts.
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RHP User
11 years ago
if you haven't been stood up you haven't been playing enough!! Perhaps I have just made some really good choices ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange
11 years ago
Quoting 'MatureDale2013' I was chatting to a person on here for weeks and weeks earlier this yr. Was ready to meet, in Melb and back here in Perth, and by accident read a post in a forum by a woman whom mentioned she too had been chatting to same guy, and they had meet and she wanted further meets. I stopped the communication there and then with him. Of course he had not told me of this meet, and I was pretty annoyed that he gave the impression he was keen to meet me, but #2 woman in the back ground, nay, was not going there. Seemed he could be a bit of a player, and I have been there, done that "player" thing so was not going there again. I was until recently very time poor and sometimes arranging a meet is/was difficult. So sorry to hear about your disappointment but maybe RHP is NOT the place for you if you are seeking long term exclusive partners. I would agree with Rick, that you are in the minority here. Your intentions need to be upfront and in your profile to set some expectations. Of course what happens after a meet can be nothing or something beautiful and even long term if both of you desire such a thing and suits you. I would think that if that is what you want, join RSVP , eharmony or one of those sites. They might cater for your needs so you may not be further disappointed and hurt. Good luck. xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with rock minx sometimes it just seems like some are out to collect pics, recently, last night I went to the sensual ball alone as a female and really was keen to play with a couple and then another, but alas nothing happened, damm, should of tried a few others there was lots of lovelies there but I like to be sold or convinced by a another lovely lady ( the men were keen) seems at times there are a lot of lookers out there.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've only been on this site for 3 weeks, so I can't comment, as yet... But I would say that the 'syndrome' described is pretty universal with all types of 'dating/meeting' sites (of which I've had 8 years experience, on and off off). I have never dipped out of a meeting. We men do get less opportunity to actually meet than the ladies do, (regardless of the type of site), so it would be very foolish to pass one up. I think all of the explanations that have been mentioned are probably the reasons... People get cold feet! Especially , I would think, on a site that generally may lead to an 'unusually short' period between 'meet' and 'bonk', given that's the primary reason most are here. Of course, there are always people (both genders) that are really married and living out some sort of fantasy that they can't or decide not to go thru with... (very unfair, uncalled for and naughty). There are people who are just plain ignorant and get a better offer in the meantime... (mongrels). And there are people who are genuinely having a problem making it to the meeting. I 've never missed one and I would hope that if I did, for any good, unavoidable reason, I would be given the benefit of the doubt... However, as with everything, a simple concept like online 'meeting/dating' sites are now places that are plastered with 'warnings' of things you should avoid doing, so as to safeguard your money, body, heart and sanity, thanks to those that would prey on innocent, well meaning people who just want to experience 'life' and make friends, satisfy needs and maybe even find happiness. It's sad that people are so guarded and so 'skeptical' of everyone because of things that have occurred to them or others, but we have to be and can't give that 'benefit of the doubt'. I understand it and am as guarded as anyone, but I wish it wasn't so... Anyone who does meet me and find out that I'm the genuine article will then know why it's so sad that we can't trust people, anywhere. Shit, we used to go to a Club, a pub, a dance or a party and leave with someone(or give our number or address) without having ever seen them before... Now we're more vulnerable at a distance and have to be more careful than we were 'face to face'... Makes me cry!!! (Steps down from soap box and trips over himself...) Thanks
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Litonya' ...... See in all this time of me concentrating on this male.....I am still chatting to others, but will not meet them.....and some will not be happy when I say this and most likely think I am playing coy or what ever you call it. I am not,I am just me, a feeling human....and not a machine with a on and off button. I have never stood anybody up, even it has happened to me, I will never be so mean and do this to a person......when I said yes to....I stay to my word......and should I really in the last minute had to say no......I think I would feel the shittiest person in the world. I understand and agree with exactly what you've said in the portion above... I will talk to more than one lady at a time. You have to because if you don't, you pass up someone who could possibly be the very person you're looking for... But I would never arrange to meet anyone while ever I was actively seeing someone (regardless of the 'temporary' or 'casual' nature of most relationships sought on this site). Some people may see that the person they're talking to is talking to someone else or listing a date. But so long as you are still talking and haven't committed to meeting and finding out the nature of what you can have with someone, isn't it OK to have more than one 'potential friend' with whom you talk and MAY meet some time down the track... I hope so, otherwise I've got the rules all wrong. If a person reads my profile, they'll know what I'm looking for and hoping for, so is there a problem with this 'talking to more than one person' at a time??? Please explain if I have it wrong... !! Ta
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Seachange
11 years ago
Quoting 'donnagirl' I was chatting what seemed a lovely guy that had so much in common with me on this site whom made plans to meet up twice. Both times which he suggested didn't happen (he always had what seemed a very valid reason) but he continued to be very keen & loving & even making plans for more than just a hookup more for a possible future. This went on for 5 months. He is a premium plus member but supposedly not chatting or hooking up with anyone else but he appears to be online frequently. Why bullshit like this? This guy was the one that wanted more & when I eventually told him I had started chatting to someone else wouldn't respond any longer. Why the hell not be upfront & say you wanted to hook up with numerous ppl instead of bullshitting about it if that was the case. Be upfront & let ppl make informed choices instead of playing nasty games should be the rule. Unfortunately there are just some terrible people out there, both men and women, who really need a good shakeup that although this is an adult date site, it does not mean that all manners and respect for other people should be thrown out the window. a terrible thing to be strung along and better that you gave him a miss. He sounds like a fake profile or a married man and wifey does not know about him on this site. thanks for the heads up. reading your post sounds like a guy from the GC who contacted me. Left a trail of mwah, mwah and mwahs in his emails and texts. Lol. Take care.x
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lotbkf007
11 years ago
I think everyone has their reasons...either cyber bravery....real life scaredy cat , legit reason etc. But I do agree that some apology or at least an attempt prior to say cant make it should be the minimum.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lily orchid . Yes this guy was from Brisbane area. How do we msg/email to compare notes?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Maybe sometimes people are just flirting with the idea of meeting, and not really that keen about it, even though they give the impression they are in their messages. One excuse we got once from someone was "sorry, I'm now in bed with my cats", lol. It was a bit unexpected given his apparent interest.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Sukki' I moved into a new house at Easter and during the move, I had a accident resulting in me requiring a total knee reconstruction. While in hospital I also caught bronchitis. To say that I have been as sick a dog is a understatement and I'm still hobbling around on crutches and have a the sexiest hacking cough...NOT. Due to being forced to rest, I've been more active on RHP to pass the time. Naturally I'm chatting to a few. Most of these lovely guys have been quite understanding of my situation and the ones that matter, I have rung, so they can hear my husky voice drowning in phlegm and I'm sure when I'm a 100 percent recuperated, things will progress :-) But I've been accused of faking it and putting off meetings etc. I say to you guys "Come say that to my face after you have had a full knee construction, I can't begin to tell you what that injury and surgery pain factor is like. Lets say 15/10 and top it off with a bronchitis, well lets see how indisposed you may be". Going to the local milkbar is a major expedition. So yes at present I guess I'm a keyboard warrior but here's the thing, it also allows you time to weed through the muppets and wankers, out there and I've been fortunate to come across one whose been very patient with my ailments and when I'm good to go, I'm sure we will be good to go. We have been texting and chatting on the phone to keep in touch and we will move on. There is never a excuse for bad manners, but people are rude every day in every way, c'est la vie, just don't lower yourself to their standards and always conduct yourself with grace and decorum. As Witty said Do you stay on the merry go around or get off ? Your choice always in all things. But if you stay on, you may meet someone awesome. You poor thing! Get well soon! You are so right, there is no excuse for bad manners. I guess everybody tries their best though. xxx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mr_Mrs_Stig' There is a Name and Shame List, with all the Standup Merchants names on it. They are "Friend" and "P/G" collectors, with Money to Burn, and Our Time to Waste. There is a Place for them, it's called, "HELL" It happens to the ladies as well.Mr & Mrs Stig, you might be onto something here.... Now I'm wondering if there might be a connection between compulsive "Friend" collectors and time wasters.My first contact on this site was with an attractive young lady who had 96 "friends".She was super keen to meet and was was thinking, "shit, how easy is this!"She stood me up twice on the same day.Full of excuses of course.No third chances for meRocky
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RHP User
11 years ago
We have pretty much stopped inviting people over due to no shows we usually have people to our place a bbq some good company nibbles ect get to know them before fun but we buy all the food go to all the effort to sit here all night alone :( - Posted from rhpmobile
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DTE_couple
11 years ago
With single guys I Michelle believe a lot of them are playing up behind their partners back. Is the real reason they don't show up or cancel last minute.As for couples, we believe its the male half doing all the organising and makes the date. Then tells the mrs at the last minute. And then come out all the excuses because she said no. What we try to do is speak to the female half and the guy before meeting this way we have never been stood up. Just our opinion.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Asap otherwise isle three has opened and new stock has arrive! The dynamics of online shopping ! So to speak very easy to pass by your perfect match similar to a dish offered by a lady that goes around calling her self lazy suzanne !!!:-/ Just keeps ticking over ! - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange
11 years ago
Quoting 'donnagirl' Lily orchid . Yes this guy was from Brisbane area. How do we msg/email to compare notes? You can inbox me...x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sadly my bronchitis has turned to pneumonia so I am at the point where shooting me would be a kinder option, however I have to say that while being so indisposed (read lots of bed rest and endless dvd's) it has allowed me to really explore with the one that I mentioned in my previous post Many late night phone calls, endless sms and contact pretty much every day (his been very concerned about my welfare and that has been most appreciated) means that we have had time to explore many issues and getting to know each other on other levels without sexual desire, attraction getting in the way. Trust me though we have exchanged some hot "pleasantries". What I'm saying is that due to my circumstances, we are really getting to like and know each other. I'm liking it. and I know when we do get together (soon) it will the Big Bang Part 2, this man is amazing There is something to be said for delayed gratification, intrigue, mystery and eloquent words
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you don't meet someone as arranged or if a guy keeps putting it off, I figure you're a faker. I chatted to some guy and wanted to meet straight away. He said he couldn't as he hadn't yet moved to the location listed on his profile and he was on hols 5 hours away (by plane). Sure. If a guy won't meet ASAP for sex... something is fishy and it's not me!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Tried to inbox you lilyorchid but as we are both guests it won't allow. I am meeting up with this gentleman - 1970 in his username next Thursday. He is still playing his games so I think I shall ask him face to face about the games. I'm just curious now as I do believe in being upfront & don't like game players. xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've chatted to many women but only met up with two, & been stood up by a third.I'm guilty of bailing out at the last minute, however I did have a genuine reason. I was meeting a married friend for a pub lunch, near her suburb, when my wife called to tell me I had to pick up my son from school as he was sick. Ithought it was my friend calling. I guess my point is that there a genuine cancellations as well as callous no shows.If I arrange a meet up I will do everything I can to be there and if the unforeseen happens I'll show due courtesy and let the lady as soon as I possibly can. If that means no further meets then that's sad but true...nobody ever said life was fair.If I do meet I have no expectation that it will result in sex that remains to be seen as to how we might hit it off.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Been talking to whom i thought was a genuine guy and that's what his profile reflects. Been talking with him in chat for months, then recently more via text and skype. So feeling comfortable enough to think yes he is someone id like to meet. So i invite him and I get a message that evening to say he couldn't make it but no other excuse. Then i go into chat room and he is there talking with another lady. For the first time i whisper and say hey I think this guy is a bit of a time waster and just that she should be aware it could happen to her as well. First time I have ever done that kind of thing but I am really fed up with this type of goings on. Anyway she says to me in open chat that he cancelled because he was with her that evening. Now what kind of people are that rude and disrespectful. I'm shocked but at least my friends were kind enough to support me and tell me disregard the comments. The only thing the two of them did was bad name themselves.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sorry , I had the same experience for months. What a shame we can't name & shame these ppl in this thread to warn others.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'donnagirl' Sorry , I had the same experience for months. What a shame we can't name & shame these ppl in this thread to warn others. I think these people will be there own undoing but yes I agree it would help to know these things in advance. But that"s the way it goes. We can share our experiences with our own rhp friends and at least then we get to know some of them. Thank goodness there are some great people here and thats in the end what you stay for :)
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brent3250
10 years ago
I believe there are some genuine people out there that something has come up but i also think that the longer it takes from the initial contact to the actual meet increases the chances of a "no show" I'm sure this has happened to us all in one form or another not just when it comes to meeting new people but anything really, the longer we think about things we start ask ourselves too many questions and start having doubts, which is a shame as we end up missing out potentially on meeting some really great people.
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RHP User
10 years ago
An Andy Warhol quote,I think he may be onto something though....Fantasy love is much better than reality love.Never doing it is exciting.The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet xQ
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' I don't like messaging for more than a few days. I only know if there's a real connection when I meet someone, so talking for too long and then feeling no chemistry is a bit of a waste of time for me personally. I think the worst excuse was a death in the family with the guy later saying he had been unable to contact me for a whole week because of the circumstances. Too bad I had seen him online everyday, so I declined his request for a second chance. I have had similar experience - I did meet him but then was told 'I am too busy - and cannot reply to texts or messages' BUT manage to be online every day! I am not waiting for 'his convenience' right royal annoyance mx
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RHP User
10 years ago
There are so many factors involved in meeting up - and being a person (male and female) safety is one of my concerns. If, during the time of meeting, I am concerned I will backout BUT always letting the person know (not always the true reason as I do not like to offend) I always have a back door escape plan, let someone know of my meeting and discuss all possibilities - There has been one time when I had to meet and run, due to unforeseen circumstances. With that sorted there is also the family situation and location - sometimes it does not work. I have had to cancel due to closure of the only road out of my location (traffic accident) do people really believe that?!
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RHP User
10 years ago
To date' I met with everyone I wanted to meet.. I always make a point of letting them know beforehand the first meet is to see if we like what we see and if we want to take it any further.. While Ive had some great times, there were times we never went any further.. You just know it, and say so, and I always encourage them to do the same.. Leading someone on is the pits.. There are nice ways of letting someone know things are not working...
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm the type that after the introductory messages are exchanged would want to meet and greet as soon as possible. As face to face is the only way to see how you both interact with each other in real life...and also if their photos are actually real or not! Of course I dont expect to meet at a drop of a hat, however if you are truly keen on someone you will be able to find a little time to meet... I believe some just enjoy the online attention and chatting, which is quite frustrating for those who actually want to get out socially and in reality, and just rhp as a tool of introduction :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_silk' Been talking to whom i thought was a genuine guy and that's what his profile reflects. Been talking with him in chat for months, then recently more via text and skype. So feeling comfortable enough to think yes he is someone id like to meet. So i invite him and I get a message that evening to say he couldn't make it but no other excuse. Then i go into chat room and he is there talking with another lady. For the first time i whisper and say hey I think this guy is a bit of a time waster and just that she should be aware it could happen to her as well. First time I have ever done that kind of thing but I am really fed up with this type of goings on. Anyway she says to me in open chat that he cancelled because he was with her that evening. Now what kind of people are that rude and disrespectful. I'm shocked but at least my friends were kind enough to support me and tell me disregard the comments. The only thing the two of them did was bad name themselves. I find the more chat and text you have beforehand, the less likely they are to meet.!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
There are real people out there honest enough to meet but sadly when arranging it there profile is often miss read...
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
Hmmmm yep! Dearie me The worst one ive had - drove from Coffs to Tweed heads because this lady sounded so hot and right. We even exchanges sms on my drive, last one i said im 20mins away. NOTHING. Not happy Jan, felt really let down actually i thought i actually liked this girl. Its all part of a learning curve though and reality. There are just some people out there who could not "lie" straight in bed ( oh dear) Anyways we need to look on the positive side and count ourselves lucky - lucky it ended right there :) Didnt the next lady i met receive the full treatment :-) ( naughty hot treatment) hehehehe
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RHP User
10 years ago
Fortunately this hasn't happened to me much but just this week I have found another "chatter who doesn't meet"Would love to name and shame but I won't.......I'll be nice.He knows who he is anyway.....just another pretender.After many messages I was starting to think he wasn't confident enough to meet me but gave him the benefit of the doubt and locked in arrangements for a date over the weekend but sure enough he texted and cancelled less than 24 hours later.I was not surprised and if he would like a list of the ways I know for sure his excuse for cancelling is false I am happy to provide that!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I would say even the hardest part would be the messaging with no response, you can guess that the person isn't interested but to ignore without even a polite "thank you but you are not what I'm looking for, good luck with your search" can in some cases be a little rude. I know some people get swamped and have to reduce the amount of time spent replying. I think the initial messaging stage is an awkward way to begin anyway haha - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
OK so you get a message from a Guy you think is Hot. ....You Wanna get to no him..... You send few messages back and forth each day. .... He finally says what are your plans and do you wanna meet. ....mmmmmhhhhhh yes yes yes lol. ..... You say busy this weekend but the following weekend I'm free. ...... Then it's like this man has vanished from the face of this Earth....... You don't get no more replies. ....... You don't get no more Flirts.....But you see him online on this site lol. .....All people want is little respect but this happens with guys and girls on all sites. .....1Reply to say thanks anyway or good luck isn't too hard. .... OR IS IT? Kinkydom1 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Funny why not show up,crazy to me! Some ladies go to all the trouble of waxing ,etc ready for good evening! Getting ready for hot meeting is gold,bit like Xmas hope to get a great present to open ,lol Can only presume ,they have got another offer!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Puzzled why people stand others up,surely the curiosity alone should get you there! Put time and energy into chat with lady why on earth not follow up and see if any chemistry is truly there! Need to look into eyes to see if genuine,interested and wiling to go to next stage! Yes things come up ,but something won't if you don't show ,he he xxx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Its true what people have said.The longer you chat/message the less likely an actual meet up is. I guess some people just want to collect "Friends" and get their rocks off on-line.That's fine but please don't waste my time with that, or at least be honest that it is all you want.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've had this happen to me on several occasions (a couple just recently) and it is extremely frustrating. From the comments here it does seem fairly common on both male and female sides though. Everyone has busy lives and things do come up but to just not turn up or drop a quick courtesy text to say "sorry can we reschedule" (and ensure you do!) is both rude and disrespectful IMHO. Fortunately there are some very genuine, nice people here too but it does sometimes seem that you've got to waste a lot of time and messages to find them, I guess that's just the way things are and you accept that or move elsewhere. I'll stick around for now but I have to say it's seeming to be more common sadly.
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